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Impaled

Summary:

Day Four of Febuwhump 2021.

He was never going to live this down.

(Forget whump, this is a terrible joke and I'm sorry. No I'm not.)

Notes:

I tried to make this serious, I tried for whump, and my mind said, NOPE! You must make this funny. So I did. I may have giggled through this one. Just a bit.

Work Text:

He was never going to live this down.

The mission had gone off without a hitch. Well, for the most part. He’d been the one to find the target’s hideout. He’d sneaked in, easily took out the target and then tripped.

He fucking tripped.

Forget the others. Nicky was never going to let him live this down.

He tripped like an idiot.

Into their target’s habitat filled with porcupines.

Because of course their target had a love for porcupines. Of course .

And now he’s covered in little quills, stabbing him in places that he really didn't like sharp objects. He could only hope that no one had a camera with them when they regrouped.

“Joe, what the hell happened to you?”

He spun around to see Nile, her cellphone already pointed at him, other hand covering her mouth in an attempt to quell the giggles already coming out of her. She wasn’t doing a very good job of stopping her laughter.

Joe leveled the younger immortal with a glare that could rival one of Andy’s. “Nile. Delete that. Don’t even.”

Nile let out another snicker. “Too late! Sent and received to all relative parties.” She sidestepped his halfhearted attempt to grab her phone. “Careful, you might impale something important! Nicky would be so disappointed!” With one last laugh, she ran back down the hallway, not bothering to lower the volume. They must have cleared out everyone while he was dealing with his issue.

His phone dinged as he carefully made his way down the hallway. With a groan, he pulled it out of his phone. Not only had Nile sent him a series of rather embarrassing pictures of himself (there were quills there?! ), everyone was commenting on the thread.

Even Nicky, the traitor.

He was right. He’d never fucking live this one down.

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