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I hadn't wanted to return to Hogwarts after the war. It wasn't as if I would be made particularly welcome after all. I could see the looks my fellow students gave me as I walked through the barrier to platform 9 ¾. Paths cleared for me as I walked towards the train, and I knew why. They were afraid of me; they knew what I was and what I had done, and their icy glares said it all. I wasn't welcome.
"I thought Malfoy would be sent to Azkaban," I heard one of them whisper, followed by several murmurs of agreement. Their whispers fed into my paranoia; I am… was a Death Eater, the rival of the golden boy Potter. Of course they would hate me. If it were the other way around, I am sure I would hate them just as much. Surely, someone would take the opportunity to punish me for my actions in the war.
I ignored them; I just had to make it through this year. Then I would be free.
I walked towards the prefects' compartment; I had been made Head Boy for reasons unbeknownst to me. Surely, my actions during the war had removed my eligibility for the position, but much like her predecessor Dumbledore, McGonagall often did things without obvious meaning.
When I arrived, I discovered that I was not alone in the compartment. Sitting in the corner was a familiar brunette with her nose buried in a book.
"Granger," I said, acknowledging her presence. I spotted the Head Girl pin on her robes and chuckled, of course she was Head Girl.
"Malfoy?" she said. I swear I could hear a similar tone of paranoia in her voice and I saw her hand grip her arm, the arm my aunt had carved into. My heart started to thump in my chest. She was going to take her revenge out on me, I just knew it. After all, she had every right to hate me too. I saw her eyes glance at the Head Boy pin on my own robes. But to my surprise, she didn't reach for her wand.
"You? Head Boy?" she said in what I could only imagine to be disbelief.
I saw her bite her lip and I am sure she wanted to say, "After everything you have done?" I ignored her glance and sat down at the opposite end of the compartment.
"I don't know why I was chosen, but chosen I was."
I saw her nod and return to her book. I was happy for the end of the conversation, so I could be alone with my thoughts. I felt the train shudder and start, and we were off towards Hogwarts.
The first part of the journey was quiet; I decided to read like Granger. Anything to keep the thoughts of paranoia at bay. It had been that way ever since my father had allowed that monster to stay in our home. Fear lurked around every corner, and I found myself loathing my actions and my inability to stand up to my father. I hadn't wanted to be a Death Eater, I had joined to survive and so that Mother would be safe. By the time the Dark Lord was resurrected, my belief in my inherent superiority had been firmly squelched. How could it not be, when Granger managed to best me every single year in school?
"We had better get ready for the prefects' meeting, Malfoy," Granger said, pulling me out of my thoughts.
I put my book back into my bag and pulled out the letter from McGonagall that explained what needed to be done. I read it through once more before the prefects started to file in. I noticed that most chose to give me a wide berth, and the Gryffindors in particular glared at me as they walked past and took a seat by Granger.
At least I had Theo for company; he sat down next to me as the seventh year Slytherin prefect and patted me on the back. "Alright, mate?" he asked, and I nodded. Once everyone was in and seated, Granger cleared her throat.
"Welcome back to Hogwarts and congratulations fifth years on being made Prefect!" she said, looking around the room. I could recognise Luna Lovegood, Ginny Weasley and Astoria Greengrass, but no one else rang a bell.
"Now, this is our first year back after the war, and I am sure that I don't have to tell you that this poses its own challenges," she continued.
"We need to promote unity," I said, for a moment forgetting that I needed to keep my head down. "We need to…"
"A bit rich, a Malfoy talking about unity!" The fifth year Gryffindor prefect interrupted me. "Shouldn't you be rotting in Azkaban like dear old dad?" The boy moved to his feet, and I could see him reach for his wand.
Before I had a chance to react, Granger had disarmed the boy with a wandless charm. If I hadn't been so shocked by both the boy's reactions and that she was defending me, I would have been impressed.
"Now, now, Jenkins," Granger said, putting her hand up to stop the young prefect. "Malfoy was acquitted of his actions. He has every right to be here."
"He's a Death Eater! He shouldn't be here!" Jenkins fumed.
"That's enough!" Granger said, pointing at the seat Jenkins had stood up from. "Either sit down and zip it, or you will lose your badge."
Jenkins sat down and huffed. I was surprised and in awe, not expecting anyone to stand up for me, let alone her. Not after... what happened in my home. I nod gratefully and give a quick signal that I will continue.
"First of all, yes, Granger is right. I was acquitted. I know that this doesn't mean that there aren't unresolved issues because of my actions, but I am here only to make amends and to finish my schooling. Let's try to make the best of this year."
Jenkins scoffed at me but allowed Granger to assign patrol assignments and to schedule the next meeting without further interruption. As instructed by the Headmistress, pureblood prefects were paired with muggleborns or half bloods, Gryffindors with Slytherins and so on. I noted the patrol assignments down as she paired the prefects together. This would then be displayed in the prefects' meeting room.
"Okay, meeting adjourned. Let's make this a great school year!" Granger said and I couldn't help but sneer slightly at her optimism. Based on the reactions of my fellow students, I was in for a tough year. I just had to keep my head down and finish school; hopefully I could prove to the wizarding world that I was worthy of the second chance I'd been given.
Everyone filed out and again, leaving Granger and I alone. She picked up her book, but it laid unopened in her hands.
"Thank you for sticking up for me there… you didn't have to. Not after…" I looked pointedly at her covered arm.
Granger shook her head and looked at me. "You were as powerless as I was. If you had tried to stop her, she might have killed you." I sat silently for a while; I hadn't expected her to say that. She didn't blame me, even though I deserved it. I really did, if not for the incident at the Manor, then for all those years where I was a bullying git.
"I don't know what to say…" I said, clutching my hands together tightly. I could feel them shaking. "I don't deserve your forgiveness; I was a bully for most of our school years, all because of 'dirty blood'. I was a blind fool for not questioning my father."
"Your father told you since you were small that people like me are worth less than you; he held power over you that couldn't be easy… you did what you could to survive," she finished with a shrug. She looked me up and down, and I wondered what she was thinking. "If you want to overcome this, you need to prove to people that you have changed. Become a role model for your fellow Slytherins so that we can work together without blood prejudice."
"Easier said than done," I said. "You saw Jenkins' reaction to me being here. It will be just as bad when we get to school." I felt the paranoia and fear building up in me; I felt sick to my bones and everything shook. I knew that if I wanted to have a good life, I needed to clear my name, clear the Malfoy name of the stain my father had caused. But right now, it all seemed so hopeless. I wanted people to know that the name Malfoy wasn't synonymous with Death Eater, but how? I was just one man.
"You are not in this alone," Granger said, seemingly reading my mind. "You have me." She looked me in the eyes, and I saw that she was genuine. My paranoia wanted to tell me otherwise, but I could tell that she was telling the truth.
"You would stand beside me, even when your own house would scorn you for being my friend?" After all I had done to her and her kind, it was hard to believe. What she said next made me realise that the look of disbelief I saw earlier was anything but. It was hope.
"Of course, we are Head Boy and Girl. We'll be fighting an uphill battle keeping the peace. Having you as a counterbalance makes sense to me. If we want to promote unity, we have to stand together." She smiled at me, and the shivers calmed for the first time since arriving at the train. I felt warmth for the first time in what seemed like forever. Maybe this was the start of something special. "Besides, I believe in the power of second chances. You deserve a second chance."
The train pulled into the station, and I felt lighter. Who would have thought, the Golden Girl, the best friend of my rival would consider making me a friend? I picked up my bag and walked out of the train, leaving my paranoia behind. It was time to forget old prejudices, and with Granger… no, Hermione's help, I could heal.