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“Are you kidding me?! You just leave whenever you feel like it!” Izuku yelled out at Katsuki. “It’s like you don’t even care! I feel like I’m the only one putting effort into this relationship! Why?! Why am I not enough for you?! I’m pouring my heart and soul out to you right now! Are you even listening?! I don’t know why I even bother! Fuck. I’m done. That’s it. We’re over.”
Katsuki froze. He let go of the doorknob and quickly turned around. “What?” He asked, his voice shaky. He looked at Izuku with genuine fear in his eyes.
Izuku sighed. “You heard me. We’re done. We’re through. We’re over. It’s like I’m the only one who cares anymore and I just can’t take it. I give you everything only for you to give nothing in return. I just can’t do this to myself anymore,” Izuku’s voice faded into a whisper as tears silently rolled down his cheeks.
Katsuki stepped forward towards Izuku only for Izuku to step backwards out of genuine fear. Katsuki reached out and grabbed hold of Izuku’s wrist.
Izuku flinched upon contact but Katsuki didn’t notice. He never notices anything like that. It doesn’t matter to him. Izuku’s mental state is always the last thing on Katsuki’s mind. Izuku always puts Katsuki first but Izuku seems to always be last for Katsuki. It isn’t fair. Izuku doesn’t deserve this. He has to get out. He has to get out now.
“De- Izuku, please. No, you can’t do this to me. Please, don’t do this to me. I love you. Please Izuku. Don’t leave me. Please. You’re the only good thing in my life,” Katsuki pleaded.
Izuku shook Katsuki’s grip off, letting his arm fall back in place. “It’s over Bakugou.” Izuku shoved past Katsuki and slammed the door on his way out. Izuku walked all the way out of the building and kept walking. He did what was best for him, right? No. He knew he did what was right. He did what he had to do. It’s all gonna be okay. He can’t keep putting himself in bad situations like that.
———
No. No this can’t be happening. No. He loved him. It’s all his fault. It’s always his fault. He doesn’t deserve anything. He just lost the only thing that matters to him. It’s all over. Why bother? He’s gone now. Now there’s nothing worth living for. Izuku walked out on him. Izuku was gone. Now there’s nothing Katsuki can do about it.
“FUCK!” Katsuki yelled out as he fell to his knees. Tears began rushing down his face as he pulled at his hair. “No! No! This isn’t real! It’s just a dream! Everything’s gonna be okay when I wake up! This never happened! It never happened! Izuku, please… Fuck. All I do is fuck everything up…”
Katsuki sat up slowly and looked around him, through tear-filled eyes. The first thing his eyes focused on was a picture of him and Izuku on their face date. Katsuki stood up and walked towards the picture. He smiled at it softly and whipped tears from his face, though they kept pouring out. Katsuki still remembered the day perfectly.
———
Katsuki stood outside of the Midoriyas’ house. He shifted uncomfortably in his shoes and raised his hand to ring the doorbell. He pressed it softly and immediately removed his hand. He could faintly hear the ringing sound from his spot outside. He waited outside for a few seconds before the door was pulled open.
“Oh, Katsuki! Are you here for Izuku?” It was Inko, Izuku’s mom, who had opened the door.
Katsuki nodded nervously. “Y-yes ma’am,” He stuttered out. Katsuki had never been on a date before so it was quite obvious how nervous he was for his date.
Inko smiled fondly at the boy. She stepped back to let Katsuki inside. “Izuku, your date’s here!” She called out to her son.
Katsuki’s face flushed red.
“Coming Mom!” Izuku’s voice could be heard. Shuffling could be heard from the upstairs. “Mom! Where’s my tie?” Izuku yelled out to his mom.
Inko laughed. “You already put it on, sweetie. Remember, you had to get me to tie it for you?” Inko answered the green-haired boy’s question.
“Oh. Okay. Thank you!” Izuku said as he ran down the stairs pulling his jacket on. He went to grab his shoes, unaware of Katsuki’s presence. Izuku sat down to put his shoes on and quickly tied the laces. He stood up once he was done. “Okay, Mom! I’m ready to go! Is he waiting outside?” Izuku turned around to face his mother as he spoke.
Katsuki cleared his throat. “I’m right here, Deku.”
Izuku’s face turned the same shade of red as his shoes. “Oh… Hi Kacchan.”
Katsuki smirked at the boy. “Are you ready to go?” He asked as he walked closer to the boy.
Izuku stepped back out of instinct. “Y-yeah! Yeah! Let’s go Kacchan! Bye, Mom!” Izuku practically ran out of the house.
Katsuki snorted. “Bye Auntie Inko!” Katsuki waved as he followed Izuku out of the house.
------
Katsuki missed that day. Everything was happy back then but now, not so much. Katsuki stared at the picture with teary eyes. The picture held so much emotion, Katsuki held barely any emotion. Katsuki envied the picture for that. The longer he stared at the picture the angrier he got. He couldn’t take it.
Why the hell would Izuku break up with him? If anyone was going to break up with someone, it would’ve been Katsuki.
He couldn’t look at the picture anymore. It made him too angry. Out of impulse, Katsuki’s quirk started up and an explosion was set off in the hand that held the picture.
------
Izuku’s face was still red as he walked next to Katsuki. “So! Um… Kacchan, where are we going?” Izuku asked nervously.
Katsuki laughed at him. “It’s a surprise, dumbass.” Katsuki slowed his pace down to match Izuku’s. He grabbed Izuku’s hand and began leading them down the path to the forest they used to visit when they were younger.
“Oh wow, your hand is really sweaty haha. I guess that’s a side effect of your quirk, huh?” Izuku stated.
Katsuki’s face flushed. “Uh, no. It’s usually not this sweaty. Sorry. I guess it’s just because I’m a bit nervous.” Katsuki rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment.
“Aw, Kacchan’s nervous to go on a date with me!” Izuku teased.
“Shut the fuck up dumbass. No, I’m not,” Kacchan stated coldly.
Izuku giggled quietly. “Sooo, what do you have planned for us tonight mister Kacchan?” Izuku swung their interlocked hands back and forth as they walked.
Kacchan shook his head. “I thought I already told you, it’s a surprise.” He smirked at Izuku.
Izuku sighed. “Dang it. Why won’t you just tell me?” Izuku whined.
“Because it’s a surprise. If you knew then it wouldn’t be much of a surprise now would it? But I can promise you’ll like it.”
Izuku giggled. “Okay, I’ll trust you,” He said, looking up at the other boy.
--------
Their dates were always a surprise when Katsuki planned them. Izuku would always whine and beg for Katsuki to tell him where they were going but he never did. Katsuki missed those days now. They hadn’t been on a date in almost a year because both of them were always busy when the other was free.
Katsuki looked at the singed picture which now lay on the ground, surrounded by the broken picture frame. He tried his best to smile and he told himself that he should be happy. I mean the annoying, stupid, short, green-haired freak was gone now. He was out of his life. Katsuki never had to see him again. Katsuki shivered. Tears once again violently flowed down his face. He didn’t want that; he didn’t want Izuku out of his life. He wanted Izuku, and only Izuku, for the rest of his life.
------
Katsuki looked back down at him and his face flushed red. “Stop looking at me like that. You look fucking cute dumbass,” Katsuki stated as he looked away from the boy.
“Ah! Sorry, Kacchan! I’ll stop looking at you!” Izuku apologized and averted his gaze from the boy.
“Dumbass,” Katsuki muttered. “C’mon, this way. We’re almost there.”
Katsuki dragged Izuku on a little further before they reached a small clearing. In the middle of the clearing laid a blanket with miniature All Might faces on it. There was a basket on the blanket that looked to be filled with various foods.
Izuku gasped and excitedly ran over to the blanket. “A picnic! You were right! I love this!” Izuku said in excitement and ran back to Katsuki and hugged him tightly.
Katsuki gave a small smile. “I’m glad you like it.” He grabbed Izuku’s hand and walked them over to the blanket. He sat down and Izuku followed. “I brought pro hero themed snacks because I know you like heroes and shit,” Katsuki said as he looked away with a blush on his face.
Izuku’s face lit up. “That’s so thoughtful Kacchan! Thank you,” Izuku said with a smile on his face.
Katsuki scowled at him. “Shut up.”
Izuku giggled. “Really though, thank you Kacchan. It means a lot to me,” Izuku said, looking at Katsuki lovingly.
“Whatever dumbass. Just eat something already.” Katsuki shoved the picnic basket to Izuku.
Izuku smiled and happily opened the basket and began to look through all the snacks that Katsuki had packed. His eyes landed on a cupcake placed inside a tupperware box. Izuku pulled it out of the basket and looked at it curiously. “Oh! It’s a cupcake decorated to look like Miruko the rabbit hero!” Izuku said excitedly after inspecting the cookie. “Kacchan, did you make these yourself?” Izuku asked.
Katsuki’s face flushed. “What! No! Haha why would I make something stupid and cute like that, that’d be stupid,” Katsuki said as he looked away.
Izuku giggled. “Thank you.”
“Tch. Whatever. Just do you like it? Did I do good enough?” Katsuki asked, feeling a bit self-conscious. What if he didn’t like it? What if it wasn’t enough? Would it ever be enough? He knows he’s done Izuku wrong in the past but Izuku said he forgives him but did he really mean it? Katsuki couldn’t help but think all these bad thoughts even though he knew they weren’t true.
Izuku giggled. “I love it! It’s perfect! Thank you so much, Kacchan. It means the world to me.” Izuku looked at him with so much love and pure joy in his eyes that it melted Katsuki’s heart.
------
Fuck. He knew it wasn’t enough. Why would that ever have been enough? A dumb picnic in the forest? That was a terrible first date. He knew it. He knew Izuku was planning to break up with him since their very first date. He was never enough and he was never going to be enough. It was a mistake. It was all just a dumb mistake. His whole life was a mistake.
Katsuki sat down on the ground and looked at the pile of glass from the broken picture frame. It had been so long. It was Izuku that kept him happy and Izuku that kept him strong. Izuku was the whole reason he had been clean for so long, but now Izuku’s gone, and all he wanted to feel was pain.
He grabbed a shard of glass out of impulse and immediately dug it into his arm and dragged it across in one swift motion. He smiled sadistically. It had been so long since he had done this and it felt good for him to finally get to see himself bleeding again. He deserved it. He deserved it all. He deserved every last ounce of pain that was thrust his way.
Katsuki kept dragging the shard across his skin until his arm was covered in cuts and blood. He smiled and let his body fall backwards so he was laying on the ground. He smiled and looked towards his arm. Seeing the blood made him happy. Happy. That wasn’t an emotion he had felt in a while. The last time he felt that emotion was the last time he and Izuku were actually able to go on a date together.
------
“Thank you Kacchan. The date was amazing,” Izuku said as he swung their interlocked hands back and forth as they neared Izuku’s house.
Katsuki smiled inwardly. “Yeah, yeah. It was whatever. Glad you had a good time dork,” Katsuki said as the two walked up the small set of stairs to the front door of Izuku’s house.
“Well, um, goodnight!” Izuku spoke quickly.
Katsuki smiled at him. “Yeah, goodnight.” Katsuki leaned down and put a hand on Izuku’s cheek and pulled him forward and kissed him. The kiss was slow and filled with love. It didn’t take long for Izuku to kiss back.
The two boys stood there in the cold, kissing each other passionately. It was both of their first kisses but they both had been quite good for first-timers. The kiss had lasted quite long before they both ran out of oxygen. The two separated and each took a few deep breaths before they looked at each other and both smiled.
“Goodnight, Deku.” Katsuki pulled Izuku into a quick hug and then ran off away from the house before Izuku could respond.
Izuku touched his lips carefully as he watched the boy run away. He smiled and waved even though the boy was long gone by now.
------
Izuku couldn’t help it. He told himself he’d stay away but he was worried. He hadn’t meant to end the relationship, but the words just leaked out of his mouth and there wasn’t anything he could do to stop them. Izuku sighed and continued running back to his and Katsuki’s apartment as a few tears fell down his face.
“Shit I’m so sorry Katsuki,” Izuku mumbled as he wiped the tears from his face. Izuku ran and ran and ran as fast as his legs would take him. He had to get to Katsuki. He had to make sure he was okay.
Izuku ran inside the apartment building once he had finally reached it and ran up the stairs till he reached the right floor. He sprinted down the hallway, racing towards his and Katsuki’s apartment.
He slammed the door open and quickly yelled out, “Katsuki!” He looked around until he saw the boy passed out on the ground with his arm bleeding. He quickly noticed the broken picture frame and his heart was crushed. He crouched down on the ground next to Katsuki’s unconscious body and dialled 911 as quickly as possible.
“Hello. What’s your emergency?” A robotic sounding voice answered.
“It’s my boyfriend!” Izuku cried out. “He’s cut his arm up and he’s become unconscious from blood loss!”
“Okay, sir. Please tell us your location,” The worker on the line said.
Izuku told him the address in a rush.
The worker stayed on the line with him as an ambulance was sent his way. The worker also had given Izuku some instructions to help Katsuki.
Izuku was crying, tears clogging up his vision. He was pushing down on Katsuki’s cuts with a towel like the worker had instructed him to do so he could apply pressure and stop the bleeding. He was terrified, wondering if Katsuki was going to be okay. He was scared and had no clue what to do. Izuku knew of Katsuki’s depression and his history of self-harm but he thought he was over it. He thought Katsuki was better now. He thought that if he was just there with him, it would magically take away his depression. At least it took away the self-harm for a while.
Footsteps were heard pounding across the halls. Must have been the workers from the ambulance. They barged straight through the open apartment door and immediately saw Izuku on the ground holding on to Katsuki for dear life. The workers pulled Katsuki from Izuku’s grip and placed the unconscious boy on a stretcher. They immediately began to run out of the building, Izuku following quickly. They carried the stretcher out of the building and lifted it into the back of the ambulance. They practically pushed Izuku into the back of the ambulance so he could come with them.
“Is he gonna be okay?” Izuku asked worriedly as the ambulance workers began doing what they could to stabilize Katsuki’s condition.
One of the workers sighed. “We can’t say for certain but we’ll do everything we can to save him. He’s lost a lot of blood and there are a lot of cuts. He might have to get stitches and he’ll definitely need a blood transfer. Do you know his blood type?” The worker spoke, not taking his eyes off of Katsuki.
“O-oh! It’s A!” Izuku answered quickly.
The worker nodded.
———
Izuku paced around nervously in the lobby of the hospital.
“Uh, sir. Maybe you should take a seat. You’re pacing around quite a lot and I’m worried it’s causing your stress levels to rise even more,” The lady at the reception desk said, looking at him worriedly.
Izuku shook his head. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I hope he’s okay. I’m worried…” Izuku muttered to himself.
The receptionist lady sighed. She stood up from behind her desk and walked over towards Izuku, carefully putting a hand on his back. “Hey,” She started, “He’s gonna be okay. You just need to have faith. Sit down and breathe with me for a minute,” She said leading the boy towards the chairs, placed in the lobby.
Izuku nodded, his body shaking softly. He sat down next to the lady and she started walking him through some breathing techniques. Izuku’s breathing slowly calmed down to normal and he was finally able to set his thoughts straight. Izuku took a few deep breaths before he stood back up.
He turned towards the receptionist lady and smiled politely at her. “Thank you.”
She nodded and stood up as well. She walked back to her desk and sat down and started flipping through some papers trying to look busy. She looked at Izuku out of the corner of her eye, keeping a close watch on him to make sure he was okay.
Izuku slowly walked around the lobby looking at all the decorations placed around. He realized that most of the plants placed around the room were actually fake which upset him a bit. He remembered when he and Katsuki first moved into their apartment together and they had gotten a house plant. They did their best to take care of the plant but inevitably the plant died after a few weeks. He smiled fondly remembering those days.
He wished they could go back to how they used to be but then they became pro heroes. Life got busier and they didn’t have much time for each other anymore. They both worked all day and when they got home all they had wanted to do was go to bed. Of course, when they went to bed they cuddled but it wasn’t enough. He just wanted to hear Katsuki say “I love you” to him every day. Izuku was self-conscious and he needed reassurance. He would always say it to Katsuki but rarely did Katsuki ever say it back. Izuku began to doubt himself and put more distance between him and Katsuki. That just ended up causing more problems.
But Izuku was determined to fix it. He wouldn’t let it happen again. Katsuki was going to be okay and they would make time for each other again and everything would go back to how it used to be. Or at least he hoped it would.
A door slammed open and out walked pro hero Recovery Girl.
Izuku stood up straight immediately after seeing her walk out.
Recovery Girl smiled at him. “Ah Midoriya, good to see you're finally not the one in need of medical attention,” She said jokingly.
Izuku gave his best attempt at a smile but he was still too worried for Katsuki to give a proper smile.
“I assume you’re worried about Bakugou?” Recovery Girl said in a questioning tone.
Izuku nodded. “Is he alright?” Izuku asked impatiently.
Recovery Girl laughed. “His condition has stabilized and you’re welcome to come and see him now. If you’d like I can show you the way to his room.”
Izuku nodded eagerly. “Yes please!”
Recovery Girl nodded and she began walking towards Katsuki’s room, Izuku in tow. She led the way to the room and let Izuku in.
Izuku immediately ran to Katsuki’s side to see him barely waking up. Izuku beamed brightly. “Katsuki! I’m so glad you’re okay!” Izuku threw his arms around Katsuki’s neck as his eyes filled up with tears.
“Huh? Deku?” Katsuki sat up and looked around in confusion. “What happened?” He questioned.
Izuku moved back and smiled. “It doesn’t matter. I’m just glad you’re alright.” Izuku stared at the blonde boy with nothing but adoration in his eyes.
“We’ll have to keep him here for a few days to keep his condition stabilized but he should be discharged in around three days,” Recovery Girl told Izuku.
Izuku nodded. “Thank you!”
“Mhm! I’ll leave you two be.” Recovery girl walked out of the room.
Katsuki looked at Izuku wearily. “Didn’t you break up with me?” He asked Izuku confusedly.
Izuku frowned. “I didn’t mean to. It just came out and I had no clue what I was saying. I’m so sorry and I hope you can forgive me because I really do love you and you mean the world to me and I just couldn’t imagine my life without you-” Izuku’s rambling was cut off.
Katsuki smashed his lips onto Izuku’s. He pulled away quickly. “Just shut up and say you’ll be my boyfriend again,” Katsuki said annoyedly.
“O… Okay,” Izuku responded quietly.
Katsuki smirked and slammed his lips back onto Izuku’s.