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Sakurajima Mai stood outside Azusagawa Sakuta's place. She clutched her school bag as she waited for him. The morning sun shone agonisingly on the small street. If he is going to appear any later, he'd be late for the first test of the day.
Sakuta emerged from the lift lobby. He seemed to be in a hurry, as he should be. He slung his bag on his left shoulder and had his right hand in his pocket. Mai noticed that his tie was alright today. Perhaps it was wishful thinking, but a glimmer of hope flickered within Mai. He must have remembered something.
Maybe there wasn't a need to be worried after all.
"You're late."
Sakuta paused at the top of the stairs leading down to the street. Mai held her breath. He looked straight at her, tilting his head slightly, an eyebrow slightly lifted. He looked almost unsure. Was he going to say something?
He snapped out of his daze and walked quickly down the steps, brushing past Mai to briskly walk towards the station.
Her eyes were still staring where Sakuta stood just moments ago. She turned her head to look at the figure that quickly descended down the slope towards Fujisawa station. Her face remained emotionless. It was all as she expected. There was nothing she could do now.
Nothing at all.
Sakuta sped through the ten-minute walk to the station a little faster than usual. Mai trailed behind him silently, casting her eyes downwards. It was only two days ago when they walked down the same street next to each other, his eyes still recognising her presence. The slight breeze that swept through the street was just as it was that day. But today, it all felt a little colder than usual.
Mai entered the station gates of Fujisawa Station just right after Sakuta. The usual train was still waiting, and Mai entered the first car right after Sakuta. She found a spot in the middle of the car, standing right next to a group of girls from Minegahara. She saw a friend join Sakuta by the door on the far side. They acknowledged each other as the train started to move.
Mai briefly thought of studying on the way to school, but she knew it was pointless. Several other students on the train flipped through their textbooks and notebooks, banking on the chance that they would be reviewing a formula that would come in handy, just in time for a question on the exam. Of course, they would have their exam questions handed out to them. Mai had no such luck. She wouldn't even be marked absent. She simply didn't exist on the student roster.
Instead, she only stared at Sakuta. As the train made its way past Ishigami, Yanagikoji, and Kugenuma, Mai fixed her eyes on him. He was the last person who saw her, and she clung on to a fading hope that he could still turn around and realise that she was there. Sakuta was talking to his friend in his usual, laconic way. He must have said something idiotic again, judging from the reaction of his friend.
The train left Koshigoe station, and the view of the ocean opened up outside.
Sakuta turned to glance around.
Mai froze. He must have noticed. For a brief moment, a split second, she thought that he must have seen her. But as quickly as he turned, she realised that she still remained invisible to him. It could have been just his imagination.
She turned away from him to look out at the ocean view.
The walk to school from Shichirigahama station felt strangely familiar. Mai exited the train before Sakuta and began her long and lonely hike up towards school. Throngs of students walked by, some overtaking her, some whom she overtook. No one attempted to avoid her. She was merely the air around them.
She could hear Sakuta's voice as he chatted sporadically with his friend. She remembered how two weeks ago she could barely make out that he was talking about her.
It all was a lifetime ago.
She followed Sakuta up to his class. It didn't matter if she was late for her test anyway; if she had one to take in the first place. As Sakuta turned, he abruptly stopped before entering his class. Mai saw that a girl who wore a lab coat standing right outside Class 2-1. She handed over an envelope to Sakuta.
"Love letter?"
"Hell no," the girl shot back.
Figures.
Sakuta opened and unfolded the letter in the envelope. He started muttering as he read: "Assumption: all things and states are only determined to exist when they're observed... The heck is this?"
"I have no idea either," came the reply. "I found it in my textbook this morning. Along with this note." The girl in the lab coat held up a note which read, "Don't think. Just give this letter to Azusagawa."
They must have been discussing her situation. At least, when they still remembered her.
"Well, my job here is done."
"Thank you."
She knew that the girl would not be able to hear her. But Mai felt she had to thank her anyhow.
Sakuta turned back to read the letter. "If --'s disappearance is caused by the student body's subconscious ignoring of her, then Azusagawa just needs to give her a different purpose in their heads. In other words, his love just needs to overwrite their cognizance or lack thereof."
Mai looked at him. Surely, surely this should ring a bell.
"Love, huh?"
He looked like he had no clue what it meant.
Sakuta folded the letter as he walked into the class. Mai stood where she was, her eyes downcast as she clenched her fists.
"Idiot," she whispered.
When the teacher walked past her desk without so much as a glance, she knew that it was probably pointless to stay in class. It felt pointless to be doing anything at all, for that matter. But there was nowhere she had to go, nowhere she could really go to.
Mai walked out of Class 3-1 just as the first test ended. Yesterday she imagined she could somehow live with all of this. But today, she found everything particularly painful. Mai floated through the corridors of Minegahara High School. She went past the classes of the third years. The corridors were filled with the excited murmurings of students discussing the test they just took.
Can anyone see me?
At this point, it would take a miracle for anyone to see her. At least, anyone who could still see her must have stayed awake for the past three nights. There was only one rascal in the entire school who would do that, though.
Anyone will do... is there anyone who can see or hear me?
Mai quickened her pace. Right now, there was no time for doubts. What has happened has happened. It only made sense to look forward, to plan for the coming days, months, years...
Someone find me... Please find me...
Mai stopped outside Class 2-1, shaken and gasping for breath. She looked around desperately, hoping that there would be a teacher roaming the corridors who would notice her. But there was no one around. No one to observe her.
She propped herself up against the outside wall of Class 2-1. Slowly, she composed herself and recovered with a long sigh. She pulled the door to Class 2-1 slightly, just enough to peek at Sakuta, who sat in the first row on the far end of the classroom. He looked a lot better than he did yesterday, gazing out the window to look at the sea. He seemed to be lost in thought.
After a long while, she decided to enter. No one could see her anyway.
Mai sat on Sakuta's desk as he stared out of the window. The hem of her skirt barely touching the edge of the table. She looked over her shoulder at the profile she was too familiar with. She looked at him with her usual calm face.
"I bet you're thinking of something erotic now."
"..."
"Guess not, huh?"
She swung her legs slightly.
"Modern Japanese is next... Are you sure you shouldn't be revising?"
"..."
"What if you forget everything I've taught you?"
A pang shot through her heart. Just saying the word was enough. She knew better than to remind herself of their last moment. Mai bit her lip.
"Hey."
"..."
"Shall we kiss?"
She stopped swinging her legs. The noise and chatter in the classroom died away, and only the breeze of the ocean mattered between Sakuta and Mai.
She lightly landed as she stood up from the table. She turned around; this rascal still gazing at the ocean. She turned over to the opposite side of the table, bending over to look at Sakuta.
Please.
She closed her eyes, planting her lips against his; soft, warm, and a little dry.
She pulled back slowly, quietly observing him. He was still as he were, unmoved.
Tears quickly filled her eyes. Mai briskly walked out of Class 2-1 as the teacher entered, her hair flowing in the wind as she exited, her pink bunny hair-clip loosely holding on.
What is written here may be hard to believe, but all of it is true. Make sure you read till the end. You have to.
Sakuta was lighter than Mai thought. It didn't take a huge amount of effort bringing him from the floor to the bed. With a bit of training from her acting days on how to properly support and carry an unconscious person, Mai managed to tuck Sakuta in.
It was nearly midnight, but she didn't want to leave just yet. She tidied the room; putting away the textbooks and the stationery, storing the tea table into the storeroom where Sakuta brought it out from. She returned to Sakuta's room, closing the door behind her. She'd been here for the first time barely a month ago, but now this place felt warm and familiar. She sat at Sakuta's desk, still unwilling to leave. Maybe something could be done; a letter perhaps, to jog his memory in the morning. She scanned the books on his desk. For a student as average as him, it was interesting that he's taken an interest in quantum physics. Among the textbooks lay a single, thin notebook. Mai pulled out the notebook and opened it.
- May 6
I met a bunny girl in the wild. She was a senpai from Minegahara High. The famous Sakurajima Mai.
That was our first meeting and the start of everything. There's no way I could ever forget it.
Even if you do forget, you better remember it. I'm counting on you, my future self.
Drops of tears pelted down on Sakuta's desk as Mai held on to the green notebook, trembling. She quickly wiped away her tears, careful not to let any fall onto the pages of the notebook. Rather than writing anything, she would just leave the notebook out, opened to this page. He has to remember: he already set it up so that he would remember.
As her eyes went over the words "bunny girl" once more, a thought struck her. She got up from the desk to open Sakuta's closet. She knew that the bag with her bunny girl outfit was in the house, but she found it half amusing and half disgusting that Sakuta would keep her costume in his closet. She took the bag out and turned to look at Sakuta, deep in his undreaming slumber.
"You better remember."
She placed the bag next to Sakuta's bed. If nothing else in the world would remind Sakuta of her, at least this costume should.
It has to.
She found herself on the rooftop of the school. The sea breeze breezed across the roof as she sat listlessly listening to the ocean. Perhaps she should have cried. Perhaps she should have screamed. Someone would have noticed. Someone might have noticed. But knowing what had been happening so far, there was nothing to do but to silently accept the world from which she evaporated from. There were no more tears to shed.
...
"LISTEN UP WELL, YOU JERKS!"
... Was that...?
"I'm Azusagawa Sakuta, roll number 1 in class 2-1..."
That absolutely crazy rascal.
Mai turned around to look at where the familiar voice was coming from. In the middle of the school field, Sakuta was screaming his heart and guts out, his voice ringing through the campus.
"... and Sakurajima Mai of class 3-1..."
What is he DOING?
"Sakurajima Mai: I LOVE HER!!!"
It would take some time for her to make her way down to the school field. She ran down the stairs while Sakuta's voice rang constantly in her head as he continued to scream.
Moron. Idiot.
Sakuta was quite out of breath when she finally reached the school field. She stopped a distance away from him, waiting for him to finish. The idiot has been spouting a whole load of nonsense.
"You don't have to yell like a madman. I can hear you."
...
"You're being a nuisance, you know."
...
"I figured I might as well let everyone around the world know."
"You're an idiot."
"Better to be an idiot than someone pretending to be smart, right?"
Sakuta, the man who feared having attention focused on him the most. The "hospitalisation incident" guy who couldn't bother clearing his own name. What are you thinking?
"You're out of your mind! Doing this will only make people spread weird rumours about you again!"
"I'd be perfectly fine with a few rumours about you and me."
"That's not the point... You idiot... Sakuta, you idiot."
She missed him. She missed the wry humour. She missed his idiotic attitude. It was barely a day, but she missed speaking to him. Mai ran towards Sakuta and landed a slap on his face.
"What- why?"
"You liar! You said you wouldn't forget! You said you'd never forget!"
Mai clenched her fists. She's had no one to turn to for so long. She had been abandoned, betrayed. For half a day she was completely forgotten by the one who promised with his whole life that he'll never forget.
"Sorry."
"I won't forgive you."
"Sorry."
"I will never forgive you."
Sakuta walked forward and held Mai by her shoulders.
"Then I won't let go until you do."
"Then I won't for the rest of my life."
Her voice was still wet with tears. But she meant it. Inside, she relished the warmth of his palms as she felt the gentle and assuring touch that she thought was going to be forever lost from her world. She looked up at Sakuta as he replied "Ehh?"
"Do you have a problem with that? After all you're making me say?"
She glared at Sakuta as she stepped on his foot. It was the only punishment for an idiotic, stupid, undreaming rascal.