Chapter Text
Prologue
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is known for having a mind of its own. With its moving staircases and various rooms that appear and disappear based on a person’s needs, it wasn’t really a shock when Minerva McGonagall took a wrong turn one day and found herself in a hallway she’d never seen before. It was long, but brightly lit, and a single set of red double doors sat at the end of it.
What lay on the other side of those double doors was interesting, to say the least. An auditorium was certainly not what McGonagall expected to find - although she wasn’t surprised to learn that it was decked out with the latest muggle technology. It was the 21st century, after all, and the lines between the muggle world and the wizarding one were starting to blur. iPhones still weren’t allowed at Hogwarts, though. Neither were pens. They had to draw the line somewhere.
But, regardless, the auditorium was beautiful. A large stage protruding from the front with lush red curtains hanging shut to conceal it. A backstage hallway hidden behind and a room for actors to make quick costume changes while they rush from one side of the stage to the other. A swath of red audience seats to match the color of the curtain, divided into three sections by two sets of stairs leading up to the back of the house. And at the very top of those stairs, a place most special. A small room lined with a machinery-filled counter and a window that allowed whoever was inside to see the entire auditorium. A tech booth.
Minerva McGonagall smiled to herself. It was time for something Howarts had never seen before in the history of the school: an entire production put on without magic. And she had just the play in mind.
Friday - 6:26 pm
“What light through yonder window breaks . . . I’m sorry, I can’t fucking see. Oi! Moony!”
The entire cast of Romeo and Julius groans in frustration as Sirius Black storms off the stage and begins marching up the audience steps. At the top of said steps he turns a corner and flings open the door of the tech booth, pausing for a moment as his eyes adjust to the small, dim room. A counter full of beeping machines lines the bottom of a window that overlooks the entire auditorium, and two teenagers dressed all in black are sitting before the machines, talking into headsets.
Sirius crosses his arms. "Moony, I know you’re the lighting designer and your word is gospel to the rest of these clowns, but my spotlight is too damn bright and I can't fucking see-"
His sentence falls short as the boy he’s addressing turns to look at him, revealing curly brown hair and a face riddled with scars. One through his right eyebrow, two tearing their way down his cheek, and a long, jagged rip bridging his nose.
“Did you say something about lighting?” the boy asks, slipping off his headset so that it hangs casually around his neck.
Sirius’ chin angles upwards slightlye. "Yes. My spotlight is far too bright.”
Remus stares at Sirius for another few seconds, and then pivots back to his board. He adjusts a slide, and through the window Sirius can see his spotlight get visibly dimmer. The boy looks back at him and arches a scarred eyebrow. "That good enough for you, Romeo?"
Sirius bristles at the nickname, but nods. "Yes. Thank you." He pivots and makes his way out of the tech booth, closing the door behind him.
Inside, a girl with long red hair and a multitude of freckles slips off her headset as well, turning away from her sound board to address Remus. “What did Sirius want?”
Remus’s mouth pulls into a thin line. “His spotlight was too bright.”
Lily almost laughs. “A drama queen, that one.” She begins to slip her headphones back on, but Remus puts his hand momentarily on her shoulder to stop her.
“Help me prank him,” he says.
Lily’s mouth quirks into a smile.
9:24 pm
Back in the Gryffindor common room, Remus and Lily sit on the faded red couch, pouring over an open textbook as the fire crackles before them.
“Oi, Evans! How was rehearsal?”
Remus and Lily crane their heads to see a boy with warm brown skin and a mess of dark hair descending the staircase that leads to the boy’s dormitories. He pushes his round glasses up his nose and flashes Remus a brilliant smile. James.
“Rubbish. McGonagall gave me detention for ‘improper language’.” Sirius announces from the opposite side of the room, having just caught James’ question as he was climbing in through the portrait hole. “Where’s Peter?”
Remus quickly shuts the textbook he had open, receiving a knowing look from Lily as she does the same with her own.
“Sleeping already. And that’s rough, mate, but I was talking to Evans.” James plops down on one of the armchairs adjacent to the couch.
Lily rolls her eyes. “Sirius was a bit of a dick to Remus, if I’m honest.”
James raises his eyebrows. “That true, Moony?”
Remus shrugs. “It’s not just me. Yesterday he had a bout with someone in the costume department about the size of his pants, and the day before that he argued with a stagehand about the placement of a prop. He’s been making his rounds.”
Sirius hops over the back of the couch and lands next to Remus, jostling both him and Lily. “I will not apologize for being detail-oriented.”
Remus sneered. “Detail-oriented? Diva-oriented, maybe.”
James and Lily burst into laughter, and Sirius elbows Remus in the side.
“It’s a lot of pressure, being the lead in a show!” Sirius insists, running a hand through his hair. “Face it. Not everyone can be Romeo.”
“Maybe so, but I’m sure there are many Romeos who would have been less picky about the brightness of their spotlight,” Remus muses, elbowing him back.
Sirius rolls his eyes. “I seriously doubt it.”
“Well I remusly doubt you.”
“Oh, shut up.”
The conversation carries on like this for a bit, with Remus, Sirius, and Lily swapping theatre stories for James’ quidditch ones. Eventually Sirius and James make their way up to bed, while Lily and Remus make excuses to stay up later.
“Tomorrow’s rehearsal is going to be fantastic,” Lily states, nodding her head with certainty.
Remus grins as he flips back to the Hexes and Jinxes chapter of his textbook. “Indeed it is.”
11:00 pm
“Oi! Everyone up! It’s time.”
Remus’ eyes flutter open at the sound of James’ voice. He sits up in bed and swings his feet to the floor, pulling his bedside curtain open. It’d been so long since the marauders had united to pull a prank. “Should I change into my robes or are pajamas fine?”
James smiles cheekily at him. “Depends on how confident you are that we won’t get caught.”
11:12 pm
In the end they decided to do everything in their pajamas, as a sort of act of faith. If they acted as though there was no possible way in which they could fail, perhaps they could fool the universe into behaving as such. But because they were nearing the end of their sixth year, they knew they could no longer fit under James’ cloak all together, and elected to work in shifts. Peter insisted on going with James for phase one of the plan, which meant Sirius and Remus stayed up in the dormitory, enacting phase two.
“Have you got all the ingredients?” Sirius whispers, hopping up onto Remus’ bed as soon as the door swings shut behind James and Peter.
Remus nods, rolling over to the edge of the mattress and reaching under his bed for the pouches full of things he’d snatched from the potions classroom. “Ashes from something recently burnt, the petals of a flame flower, and the whisker of a dog - locally sourced,” he jokes, nudging Sirius with his foot.
“This better be worth it - that bloody hurt.” Sirius rubs the side of his face, as though he can still feel it.
“Trust me . . .” Remus smiles, dropping each of the ingredients into a vial of solution, corking it, and then shaking it vigorously. “It will be.”
11:21 pm
Phases one and two of the prank were complete. The house elves had all fallen asleep, thanks to a few slumber spells performed by James and Peter, and the potion had been brewed - which meant that it was time for Remus and Sirius to enact phase three.
It’s a bit claustrophobic under the cloak as the two of them shuffle through the castle hallways. In order for them to fit, Sirius’ chest has to press up against Remus’ back, and for unknown reasons this makes it very difficult for Remus to concentrate on where he’s going.
“It’s left, not right,” Sirius corrects him for the second time, lightly grabbing Remus’ arm and pulling him in the opposite direction. “You are holding the map, aren’t you?”
Remus can feel the other boy’s breath on the back of his neck. He looks down at the map in his hands. “I am. Sorry.”
They finally arrive at the castle kitchens, moving through the cooking rooms and emerging into a large chamber that sits directly below the Great Hall and is, in all honesty, nearly identical to it. Four large tables stretch their way across the massive room, already decked out with tomorrow’s breakfast.
What so few people know about cooking at Hogwarts is that each meal is made as soon as the last has concluded, and the already prepared food sits in the kitchens, magically preserved until it’s time to teleport everything into the Great Hall. What even fewer people know is that the meals are arranged in the exact order that they will appear on the tables upstairs. Which means that if someone sits at the same seat every single day - like a certain Snivellus, perhaps - one could possibly find out exactly which goblet will be sitting in front of them when breakfast arrives tomorrow morning.
Remus removes the cloak, letting it envelope Sirius alone as he tiptoes to the table that aligns with Slytherin’s. He starts at one end and counts the goblets as he walks the length of it, stopping at number twenty-seven. He then does this a second time, making sure he has precisely the right goblet, before adding his concoction to the orange juice already inside. “The acidity should cover up the taste of the brew,” he says quietly.
Silence is the only response he gets.
Remus turns and scans the room, trying to do the impossible and see where his friend is hiding beneath the cloak. “Padfoot?” A hand grabs his shoulder, and he jumps, spinning around and nearly crying out in surprise.
Sirius’ laughter fills the room as he throws the cloak back over Remus’ head, grinning all the while. “Sorry, Moony. I had to.”
Remus lets out an exasperated breath and gives Sirius a playful shove. ‘You really didn’t.”
“Yes I did,” Sirius says, winking at him.
Remus swallows and averts his gaze.