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Cassian was uncomfortable, but Hoth was the closest thing to home he had known. Fest, the planet he was born on, was all ice and mountains. He found security in the large white hooded jackets they were given upon arrival to Hoth. From what he saw, Chirrut and Baze did not seem to bode as well as him, clinging to their jackets like the sands of Jedah once did to their clothes. Cassian wiped his face with his glove, trying to get as much of the snow off of his facial hair as he could before looking over at Jyn, who stood ridgid in the cold air.
Hoth was colder than Jyn was comfortable with, and not quite what she was used to. Lah’mu was humid, dark earth, with a warm thick fog that held you close and kept you hidden. When she joined Saw’s militia she trained on Wrea. There were cold nights and her first puffed and hooded jackets, she remembered her small arms lost in the sleeves. But at least she had the ocean that lulled her to sleep every night, and there was life.
Waiting to be greeted at the back of the main hanger, the draft from the large storm door blew straight through them. Cassian’s jaw clenched, and Jyn pulled her jacket hood as close to her face as possible. K-2SO, totally unbothered by the inclement weather watched as the group attempted to remain professional in the cold.
“General, what are our orders?” Andor turned to Rieekan, who was typing something into the console on the back wall. General Carlist Rieekan turned to them with a warm smile, as warm as it could be at least, and then quickly shoved his hands in his pockets.
“Please, go get some rest, you guys have been stuck up in that ship for a while now. Try to get adjusted, we’ll come for you when you are needed.” He threw up a salute, which the team returned before the General turned to speak to one of his commanders, who was waiting patiently beside him. Rogue One quickly left the hangar, the sound of their shoes scraping on the thinly iced floors not doing much to cover the sound of Jyn’s light cough. Cassian turned to her, but she looked away, pulling her hood down just enough to obscure her glassy eyes as they entered the base’s dining hall.
As the group sat down with their food, Cassian watched as Jyn downed a cup of warm herb water, faster than he had ever seen before. The group dug into their food, Cassian sipped at his cup timidly as it quickly grew cold. It was times like this that he missed the warmth of the sun. Even Scarif would have been better than this. He shuddered at the memory, turning in on himself. At the thought of a warm death. The idea of losing Jyn. He took a sip of his cold tea, looking over the rim of the cup at her as she finished her food.
“No,” he thought, “I’ll take this climate instead.” He tried not to think of why. Not now, with Jyn sitting scarcely a foot in front of him.
“Cassian, have you gotten any of the mission information yet?” Jyn asked through her gloves, holding them to her face to keep warm, and attempting to conceal her bright red nose.
“No, after this I was going to speak to the General about our assignment,” he reached across the table and pulled her hands away from her face, “but I believe I must take care of you first.”
Jyn, taken aback, shook her head and put her gloves back on her cheeks. “I can take care of myself Cassian, you go take care of the mission. I’ll be alright.” The words came out of her mouth almost unnaturally as she processed his words. He quickly pulled off his glove and pushed her bangs aside, placing the back of his hand on Jyn’s forehead.
“No you won't, you’re burning up Jyn,” he said almost urgently, getting up and walking away from the table. She wasn't sure if she was burning up from her cold or from how suddenly that had just occurred. Jyn and Baze both watched Cassian as he walked over to a neighboring table and asked one of the commanders something, looking back to Jyn as they spoke. The commander, a woman with a large braid around her head, turned around and looked at her as well before turning back to Cassian with a small smile and a nod. Jyn blushed under the pink flush from the cold on her cheeks, and sunk further back into her hood as the woman quickly wrote something down on a scrap of paper and handed it to him.
K-2SO turned to Jyn. “Cassian has quite the misled confidence to be able to walk up to the General Leia Organa like that.” She ignored him, taking another sip of her tea. “You can ignore me, but you know it’s your fault.”
Before she could register what the droid had said, Cassian was dragging her out of the dining hall, holding the piece of paper in his hand like his life depended on it.
“Who was that? Where are we going?” she asked, puzzled by his sudden change of attitude and how tightly he held her hand. Her head was spinning and she couldn’t note a cause, only how the hallways seemed to curve and bend as her eyes swam in the packed snow tunnels. He dragged her to a room at the end of a tunnel on the other side of the hanger and pressed a few numbers into the pad. The door slid open, revealing a single-person quarters. The walls were insulated with sheets of metal, and a bed was pushed against the far wall behind a small table and the door to the refresher.
“Wh- Cassian this isn’t my bunk assignment, what happened to my quarters?” He ushered her inside and walked her over to the bed. He looked as if he was restraining himself from pulling the covers over her himself.
“You need rest. General Organa has gratefully given you one of the general’s quarters after I told her you had a growing fever. I’m going to go to the infirmary and find you a remedy, please get into bed.” Jyn gave a small nod, and watched him as he quickly walked out of the room towards the med bay.
When he returned, Jyn was in bed, her shoes scattered next to the bed posts as she curled further into her jacket and the insulated blankets. As not to disturb her, he quietly walked over to her and sat down on the edge of the cot. Her hood was pushed back, revealing bangs in front of her eyes, and hair that fell to frame her face and cover her neck. If he wasn’t holding the medicine pouches, he would have had nothing to hold him back from pushing it away from her eyes. He considered it for a moment, but shook his head and began to open the supplies.
Jyn, who was trying to keep her world from spinning away from, tried to ignore how Cassian’s eyes bore into her. She turned over slowly to face him and took a glance at the medicine pouches he was holding.
“Please,” she pleaded, “anything but those.”
“Jyn, this will help you.”
“But the base’s medicine is disgusting,” she whined, the way someone does when their sickness takes away their sense of modesty. Her eyes showed her tired state, both from the effects from the cold, as well as the many months she was holed up on their ship with nothing to do but sit and think. Think about Scariff. Think about them. They were both tired, and through her spinning worldview, Jyn could see that in his eyes just as much as he could see it through hers.
“Please,” he said. She looked him in the eyes. She could see he only wanted the best for her.
He only wanted her to be okay. He couldn’t lose her, he got too close last time. He still remembers how tightly they held onto each other on the beach before the rescue ships came. In that moment they could have turned to dust and ash but at least they would have been together. He threatened to call them two parts of a whole he never knew. She nodded, resigned, understanding almost too much of what he felt. The feeling overwhelmed her and melded with her sickness as if they had always been the same. The way her world spun when they were together. He spoonfed her the dose, and she cringed as the thick syrup slid down the back of her throat. The world overwhelmed her, she laid down as she waited for its effects to take over. And he stayed. Staring at the door, staring at the wall, staring at her shoes that were thrown thoughtlessly on the ground next to him. He wasn't looking when she took his hand.
“Please,” she whispered, almost unintelligible. He wouldn't have understood her words if the room wasn't as silent as it was. But it was only and purely them. “This will help me.” It was dark enough that she couldn't see his face turn rosy. He couldn’t see her look at him like she did in the rare times that the world was dark, and they were the only ones in their small, fragile reality.
Cassian, with his free hand, pulled at the laces and slipped off his boots. She lifted the covers, and he fit next to her, their heat, radiating from one body to another. All he could hear was the sound of the purring of the floor heater and her small breaths, so close it graced the tip of his nose. Now, unrestricted by his own inhibitions, his free hand pushed her bangs away from her forehead, and his lips lightly touched her burning skin. She let out a breath, and they both drifted off. And for this moment, whatever this was, was enough for the both of them.