Chapter Text
Jin groaned as he glanced at the time on his phone. It was already 5, and he was supposed to meet you for dinner at 7. He was already exhausted, but he knew he needed at least another hour of dance practice to get to the point he needed to in the choreography. By the time he finished here, he wasn’t sure if he would have the energy to be very good company.
With a resigned sigh, he opened his phone to the conversation he had been having with you and typed out a quick message.
I’m sorry, but I think I have to cancel our date for tonight love. I’m still not quite done with the choreography for today, and by the time I finish up here I don’t think I’ll be a very fun date. L I’m sorry, I promise I’ll make it up to you.
He really hated himself for having to cancel on you like this again. You two had been dating for about five months now, but with how busy his schedule was, you rarely ever got to see each other in person. When you were able to meet in person, he wanted to make sure he was able to be his bright, cheerful self. He didn’t want to have to burden you with his negative emotions, especially when your time together was so precious. But he was starting to become worried. With how little you saw each other, it was only a matter of time until you lost interest in him. You could do better, he knew that. You deserved better too. You deserved someone who could be with you whenever you needed them. Not a boyfriend who was rarely ever available. Not a boyfriend who cancels their first date in weeks because he’s tired. His phone vibrating in his palm brought him out of his reverie, and he opened the new message with more than a little hesitance.
It’s okay. Good luck with dance practice.
Jin felt his stomach drop. The message was short, polite, but lacking any of your usual enthusiasm. No smiley faces or hearts. He was sure that this just confirmed his fears. You were upset with him, and he couldn’t really even blame you. He tossed his phone down on the table and shook his head. He had a dance to learn; his anxiety over his relationship would have to wait.
--
Jin sighed for what felt like the millionth time that day as he tiredly flicked on the lights of his apartment. He was beyond exhausted. It was a complete miracle he was able to drag his body all the way home after the day he had. But despite the fact that he was completely spent, there was an even worse feeling swirling around his thoughts and making his stomach drop every time he focused on it. He couldn’t shake the guilt he was feeling. He wanted to be the perfect boyfriend for you, and he was so disappointed in himself for needing this time to himself. He wished he was able to be there for you no matter how tired he was. He was frustrated with himself… and he was scared that you were thinking all these same thoughts.
He had yet to hear from you again after your message wishing him good luck with practice. He was now 80% sure that it had been sarcasm. You were absolutely angry and upset with him for cancelling on you and putting his work before you again.
He was about to toss his bag on the kitchen counter (a bit more aggressively then was probably necessary) when he came to an abrupt stop. He had been so lost in his own thoughts that he hadn’t realized that something was off. There on the counter was a tray filled with food, some soup that was somehow still steaming gently and smelled just like home, a small bowl filled generously with fluffy white rice, a meat side dish that he knew wasn’t easy to make, and an assortment of his favourite banchan.
He felt his heart stutter in his chest as he noticed the small polaroid photo propped up behind the tray. He picked it up with slightly unsteady fingers and brought it closer to his face. He was met with your bright smile, your eyes crinkled at the corners and sparkling just as brightly as the stars outside his window. The you in the picture made a show of puckering your lips with your hand palm up in front. Your take on his signature flying kiss. He decided in that moment that it should now be your signature move because yours was undeniably superior. There was no way he could ever blow a kiss and look as adorable as you did in the photo.
He felt his lips twitch up into an unstoppable smile. When had you had the time to do this? How did you manage to do this? Why did you do this for him? You should have been upset with him for cancelling on you… And yet instead you had come all the way to his house while he was gone and cooked him one of his favourite comfort foods. He didn’t understand what he had done to deserve this. He felt a stab of guilt in his stomach for having assumed your earlier text message had been sarcastic and anything more than just understanding and supportive.
It wasn’t until he went to place the photo back down on the counter that he realized there was something scrawled on the back in your easily recognizable, adorably messy, handwriting.
“Jinnie! I hope this small gift warms you and gives you a little boost of energy after a long day. My cooking might not be as good as yours, but I did my best and I hope you like it! I know you must be so exhausted, and I want you to know how proud I am of you. You are so hardworking and are always putting in that extra effort even when others aren’t looking. I want you to know that I see it, and you constantly inspire me to be a better person. I’m really thankful that you feel comfortable enough with me to let me know when you need time to yourself. I really hope that you are able to get some good rest and feel better tomorrow. Oh! I put some ice cream in the freezer too in case you need something sweet.^.^”
Jin felt a strange tightness in his chest as he read over the note twice, just to make sure his eyes weren’t deceiving him. How was it possible for someone to be so.. good? So kind? How was it possible that you somehow knew everything he needed to hear when he hadn’t even known it himself? He felt a weight lift off of his chest, and in its place was this feeling that he couldn’t quite put into words. He felt… full. Satisfied. Whole. He really wasn’t sure he could explain it, but it was such a warm feeling. He never wanted to lose it.
His hands were reaching into his pocket and pulling out his phone before his mind had even caught up with him. He dialed your number with quick fingers as his heart sped up without him even knowing why.
He almost sighed out loud in contentment when he heard your soft voice on the other end.
“Jin?”
Even muffled through the phone, he could hear the pure warmth in your voice when you said his name.
“Where are you?” He found himself questioning you in place of a greeting.
“I just got home,” you replied, sounding a bit confused by his question, but no less adorable, “Did you get my gift?”
“I did,” he let out a breathless laugh as he spoke. “When did you have the time to prepare all of this?”
“I raced over as soon as you messaged me. I wanted to make sure everything would be ready and waiting when you got home,” he could hear the pride in your voice. You were obviously very happy that you were able to surprise him. It was unbelievably endearing.
“Why didn’t you just stay? We could have had dinner together,” he pointed out the obvious. It was the one thought that had remained in the back of his mind. You had come all the way to his house to prepare this amazing surprise, and then made sure that you were gone before he was back. Had you not wanted to see him?
You paused on the other side of the line, and he found himself trying to imagine the expression on your face. He had a feeling you were biting your lip like you often did when you were contemplating the right thing to say.
“We could have… And of course, I would have loved to see you,” you assured him softly. It was almost like you had read his mind and wanted to erase the doubt that you had seen there. “But I know that you wouldn’t cancel our date without a reason. You must be exhausted. And I know how important it is to take time to yourself to rest and heal yourself. I wanted to make sure that you knew that I respect that.”
Jin wondered how many times in a single evening you were going to surprise him. He was beginning to think you were going for a world record at this point. He was floored by how deeply you seemed to understand him, and how much respect you seemed to have for him. He was a bit embarrassed that he was so shocked by it. Of course he knew how amazing you were… That’s why he was dating you. But you just seemed to continue to fly high above any expectations he had. He never could have imagined feeling so completely seen and accepted, especially when he thought he was doing a good job of hiding a good portion of himself.
He was so deep in his own thoughts that he had forgotten to reply. You must have started to worry that he was upset with you, because you cautiously started to speak again.
“If you change your mind and decide that you don’t want to be alone, then just say the word. I’ll be there. We don’t have to talk. We can just be. Together. It’s all up to you Jinnie, you just let me know what you need, okay?”
“Okay,” his answer was more air than words, but he honestly felt like you had stolen all the breath from his lungs. He took a moment to steady himself, almost laughing when he realized he had started to tear up. For a second he felt relieved that you weren’t able to see him like this through the phone. Although, he now realized that no matter what side of himself he showed you, you were going to be there to embrace him and accept him.
There was silence for another moment as you waited for him to decide what it was that he wanted. What he needed.
“Can you come over?”
“I’ll be there in 20 minutes,” he could hear you already reaching for your keys as you spoke before the line went silent.
Jin took a deep breath and smiled to himself. He wasn’t sure how he managed to get so lucky… But he wasn’t going to question it any longer. He had more important things to think about now.
Like how he was going to tell you what he had just come to realize.
How he was going to tell you that he loved you…