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“Explain yourself Suguru!” The words echo through Getou’s mind when he violently wakes up from a dream, or was it a nightmare? Getou couldn’t exactly tell. His mind keeps wandering back to the moment he last saw him. Why didn’t he chase after him? Why didn’t he stop him from leaving? Didn’t they have something? Were all the small touches and stolen kisses worth nothing? Even though they both agreed on no catching feelings, it still happened, but Getou thought it was mutual. That they had both fallen in love. In the final moment, when both of them faced each other for the last time, all the feelings were still unspoken.
Getou slowly sits up and looks at the time: 8:51pm. His mind is still hazy from the nap he took but there is still time to get to the store. The girls have been asleep safe and sound for a few hours now, both of them finally being able to sleep a full night rest without being haunted by dark nightmares. Getou thinks back about his own dream, bright blue eyes looking back at him. There is not a single day where he fails to dream about the same eyes over and over, the same words over and over. “Explain yourself, Suguru!” Like a mantra repeating themself every night.
It’s been how many years? How many years has it been? Getou had lost count on how long it has been since he last saw Gojou Satoru. Gojou Satoru, his one and only best friend. Reuniting wasn’t an option now, was it? Getou was too late with realising his feelings for the other. Having said not enough things and his actions speaking louder than his words. How could he have realised his feelings sooner, though, when he had never felt the way he had when he was with Gojou until it was over, what with being too used to the other being around him. It was something special but he realised it too late. God, he sounds so depressing. He rolls his eyes at his own thoughts as he pulls his hood to cover his face more. The rain is light when he finally steps outside his small apartment into the evening air, the tension he was feeling in his bones resting.
It’s late as he makes his way to get more groceries to make it through the week. Soon, he and the two girls will have to move to a different location - it was too dangerous in the middle of the city for them. They should lay low somewhere for the time being, Getou muses. Maybe when Nanako and Mimiko were a little older they could move back to the city and Getou could get a part time job, maybe even send the girls to school.
For a normal week day and despite it being late in the evening, it’s pretty busy on the streets. Getou ignores the discomfort that arises when around so many people - he doesn’t particularly stand out, of course, but he still feels uneasy. Something seems to be not quite right, but Getou ignores the feeling as he steps inside the store and starts getting the stuff he needs.
Stepping out of the store with 3 bags of groceries, Getou decides to finally make his way back to his apartment. The rain gets worse and he can’t risk the two kids waking up without him being there. Pulling his hood once again he begins walking to the crossroad until
“Suguru?” A way too familiar voice calls his name. A cold chill runs up Getou’s spine and it feels like he’s frozen in his place, his heart beating miles an hour. What is happening?
It’s just because he is nervous. Maybe even scared to face the owner of the voice. There is no way these feelings would resurface after years. No way, right? Getou is having a fight with his fight or flight instincts, his whole being yelling at him to just run, run far away and don’t look back. We’ve made it this far without him, why would he need to see him now? Why would he even want to-
Without having control over his own actions he turns around and bright blue eyes stare back at him, exactly how he remembers them. Gojou Satoru, his eyes in person, right in front of him. Getou blinks once- twice. This isn’t a dream, is it? Getou slowly exhales a breath he didn’t know he was holding in, and he carefully takes a step back, away from Gojou. The man in front of him does the exact opposite, taking a step forward. Gojou’s hand moves to carefully grab Getou’s raincoat sleeve, stopping him dead in his tracks. His heart hammers in his chest, so loud Getou is scared Gojou might even hear it if he moves closer.
“Satoru?” Getou says and hates how his voice is shaking slightly. Gojou laughs and lets go of Getou’s’ sleeve. “I was expecting a warm welcome but guess those times are over, huh?” Gojou says with a bitter smirk. Getou looks away from Gojou’s eyes and focuses on the paper bags he is carrying. Kikufuku, of course, because why else would he be in this area. Why didn’t Getou think before picking a place?
“You’re nervous. Why?” Gojou says, studying Getou carefully. Getou feels like he is completely bare on display in front of Gojou. “How do you know?” Getou says, head snapping up trying to prove Gojou wrong. Oh, how many memories does this bring back. Getou avoids the other man’s gaze..
“‘Cause I know you Suguru.” Gojou says, a bit softer while taking another step forward, completely invading Getou’s personal space. Getou knows he should feel uncomfortable but he doesn’t. His fast beating heart doesn’t want to slow down either and is beating harder than before, if that is even possible.
“Will you tell them?” Getou whispers, their eyes meeting for the first time again. Getou sees something harden in Gojou's eyes when he hears his words. “You hurt me, Suguru. Is that really all you have to say for yourself?” Gojou says and looks down on him. This is a new feeling - Getou used to be a little taller than Gojou back in the days, but then again, how many years have they been apart? How many things are now new for each other? Getou doesn’t reply, instead merely looking at him. Searching his face, not knowing what he is searching for.
“Alright, I’ll forget about this if you do too.” Gojou says, being the first one to look away. He doesn’t back away. Suguru could lean forward and kiss Gojou without trouble. Would Gojou reject him if he did? Why is he even thinking this right now! Gojou lets out a small sigh and starts backing away.
“Satoru, wait-“ Getou says, his hand moving before he could think of it and grabbing Gojou’s coat. Gojou looks down and back at Getou, a mixture of confusion and hope on his face. Gojou takes a step forward again and Getou lets him. Their chests are almost touching. The air is getting tense and hot, making it hard to breath for Getou. He can feel Gojou’s breath on his cheek when the other starts speaking again
“Say it, Suguru, tell me.” Gojou whispers softly, resting his chin on Getou’s shoulders. Getou lets out a choked up laugh. This was just straight up cruel. Has Gojou really been thinking about him and his feelings all these years? Did he have regrets? No, that is impossible, same as Getou. He didn’t have regrets; he enjoyed the time he had with Gojou but they could never go back to that. Jujutsu High wanted to execute him if they were ever able to catch him.
“I want you to stay.” Getou says, his voice barely above a whisper. Gojou presses the side of his face against Getou’s’.
“Say it.” Gojou repeats, breath ghosting over Getou’s neck, sending shivers down his whole body.
“I’m in love with you.” Getou says, a little louder this time, a whole weight falling from his shoulders. A weight so heavy Getou feels so much better now having said his true feelings, even if Gojou rejects him. It doesn’t matter for now.
“You and I both know it’s too late, huh, Suguru.” Gojou says and takes a small step back, finally looking at Getou. Getou lets out a bitter laugh and reaches for Gojou’s hand. Gojou lets him without much resistance.
“Take care, Suguru.” Gojou says, tilting Getou’s face up a little with his free hand. Gojou presses a kiss to Getous’ lips but before Getou can even kiss back, Gojou slips his hand out of Getou’s grasp and turns to walk away.
“Satoru?!” Getou calls after, but the view fades away. Everything turns dark. Getou just straight up panics until he wakes up gasping for air, shooting up and hearing two small gasps. With his breathing is a mess and his thoughts all over the place, Getou brings his shaking hands to his head. It hurts. It was just a dream? Everything was a dream? Even in his dreams Gojou still has this much effect on him?
“Mister Getou?” A small voice sounds from next to him. He snaps out of his trance and looks beside him. Nanako and Mimiko, each holding the other’s hand, are both next to his bed, looking at him with worried eyes..
“Hey, did you girls have a bad dream?” Getou asks, mastering a small smile for the twins. They shake their heads and Mimiko brings her hand to Getous’ face, wiping away his tears. Getou gasps softly - he didn’t know he was crying until he saw the wetness on Mimiko's hand.
“Did mister Getou have a bad dream?” Nanako asks, almost whispering, and Getou continues wiping away his tears. He scoots over making room for the girls to get in his bed. He gives both of them a forehead kiss and wraps his arms around them.
“It was just a bad dream but I have you girls here.” Getou says as he closes his eyes again. The girls giggle and wiggle closer into Getou.
“Goodnight dad.” They both say and Getou takes a deep breath.
“Goodnight girls.”