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A lot can change when one half of a relationship moves far away. The one who moved may feel as though they have finally learnt how to be free whereas the other can feel stuck and insecure. That’s what happened to Blaine Anderson.
He loved Kurt more than anything else in the world and ever since he moved to New York City with Rachel, he’s been so alone. Sure, he got solos in glee club and joined almost every other club just to fill his time, but he didn’t have that comfort away from all of that. He didn’t have someone to go to when his parents were fighting or when he felt insignificant during school. Kurt not answering his phone calls didn’t help. He knew he was busy and he was proud of Kurt for putting himself out there. But still, a part of him was selfish and wanted to bring Kurt home, hold onto him tightly and never let go.
Of course, he couldn’t do that. He had a responsibility as a boyfriend to learn how to be by himself. He had a responsibility to resist urges and temptation that may lead him astray. Temptation like Eli C. Blaine was fascinated that someone other than Kurt could want him in such a way. He stomach dropped and he felt sick with guilt for even considering the idea. He immediately changed his flight to New York to the next day.
When he arrived at the loft, he was elated that he could surprise Kurt. Kurt looked so different, so mature. He had this new air of confidence around him. Before they left for Callbacks, Blaine asked to speak to him for a minute.
“B, what’s up? You’ve looked on the verge of tears since you got here.”
“I love you so much,” Blaine said, feeling his eyes prick with hot tears. “I knew you going away would be hard for me but I didn’t know it would be this hard.”
Kurt stepped closer and smoothed his hands down Blaine’s arms. “Did something happen at school?” Blaine shook his head. “Then what is it?”
“I-“ tears rolled down Blaine’s cheeks and his breathing became jagged and shallow. “Someone messaged me and I was tempted. I was so tempted to go over and- well, I don’t know what would’ve happened but I feel so gross and unworthy of your love right now. I am such an awful, awful boyfriend.”
“Don’t say that about yourself. Come on, let’s sit down and talk this through.” Kurt gently guided them both to the couch. “So you got a message from someone, which I presume was something sexual? And you didn’t go over and do anything?”
“Yep,” Blaine hiccuped and wiped his nose with his sleeve.
“Then there’s no problem.”
“I was tempted, Kurt!”
“You don’t think I’ve had temptation? That I’ve been feeling lonely?” Kurt argued. He reached forward to wipe tears from Blaine’s face. He sighed sharply. “I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring your calls and texts but I’m not sorry that want to grow and express myself.”
“I’m scared you’re going to grow so fast that I won’t be able to catch up and you’ll find some other guy who can treat you how you want and fulfil you-“
“I’m gonna stop you there. I love you and that’s not going to change, okay? We can get through this year and then next year, we can grow together. I will make more of an effort to make you feel loved. We can even make a schedule!”
“Like the make out one from last year?” Blaine laughed, glancing his eyes to Kurt.
“Just like it. Except with less making out. I’ve heard it’s hard to do through a video call.” They both laughed. Kurt pulled Blaine into a tight hug. He sighed contently. “Do you want to go and beat Rachel and Brody at karaoke?”
“Uhh, absolutely!”
—
Roughly a year and a half later, Blaine had been noticed by June Dolloway for his singing. He couldn’t contain his excitement about how someone famous and influential in the industry noticed him for his passion. Obviously, he knew Kurt wanted that opportunity so he toned it down around him.
One night he came home early and heard Kurt cooking in the kitchen. He was chopping something really aggressively and muttering to himself. He had no music playing, which Blaine thought was odd. Carefully, he walked in and coughed.
“Oh! Blaine, hi!” Kurt put down the knife and wiped his brow. “What are you doing here?”
“I finished early with June.. what are you doing?”
“Oh, you know, making dinner,” Kurt nodded with his words. “What does it look like?”
“Stress cooking.” Blaine held his hands out and pulled Kurt close to him. He kissed his cheek. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing.”
“Kurt.”
“It’s June,” Kurt sighed. “You know how much I love her and, honestly, I’m jealous. I am so proud of you but I just wish it could be me.”
“I know,” Blaine consoled. “I’m not supposed to tell you this but we’re doing a showcase and I’ll do my best to get you in it. We could even do a duet!”
“I appreciate that but she’ll never let that happen. Besides, it’s fine I’m just being silly and insecure.” Kurt pressed a quick kiss to Blaine’s lips and turned to move back to the food. Blaine tugged him back and pulled him into a longer, passion filled kiss.
“You’re not silly,” Blaine said. “Remember what you said to me that one time? About how we have to allow ourselves to grow and become ourselves. This is a part of that. Being insecure is totally human and we can guide each other through moments like this.”
“When did you get so smart?”
“Since I transferred to a public school with a poor education system so that I could be with my boyfriend.”
“Oh, yeah? How does that work?” Kurt teased, rubbing his nose against Blaine’s.
“Because you make my life so but brighter. Also I already knew everything from Dalton.”
“You’re an idiot, Blaine Anderson.”
“Mmm, soon to be Anderson-Hummel.” Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt’s waist.
“Yeah,” Kurt said breathily, “Blaine Anderson-Hummel. I love the sound of that.”