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The first time it happened, Blaine was five years old. He was dancing around the kitchen to one of the musical songs his mother was playing on a CD. He high kicked, twirled and threw jazz hands out every thirty seconds. As he struck his strong final position he heard his brother Cooper laughing at him.
“You’re so gay, Blaine,” he scoffed.
“What does that mean?” Young Blaine quirked his head to the side and furrowed his eyebrows.
“It means you’re a freak,” Cooper spat before he stormed off. Blaine never danced with other people in the house again.
He heard it again when he was ten, the boys yelling it to other boys on the playground when they wouldn’t play a rough game, or when one teared up when he got hurt. They called Blaine it for not joining in and being super quiet in the classroom - he couldn’t understand where he went wrong.
When he was thirteen, he didn’t like girls the way the other boys did. He thought they were pretty and were a lot of fun to hang out with, but he never wanted to kiss one or hold their hand. Maybe they were right, he thought one night to himself. Long after his family had gone to sleep, he found himself searching, for what - he didn’t know. Eventually he came across the true meaning of gay. For one man to love another. He didn’t understand everyone’s problem which such a normal feeling. They all loved someone, right?
At the start of his second year at William McKinley High School, he finally made the football team. Not because he wanted to be popular but because he wanted to blend in and hide away- being admitted onto the football team was the first step to doing so. Throughout his first year of high school, his hair was unruly and he wore bright clothes but now he gets to hide behind the armour of the red jacket. A few months later he was surprised to see Finn Hudson join the glee club, a group he hesitated about joining but never did. Shortly after, him, Puck and Mike all joined because one cutie, Kurt Hummel, from the grade above who decided to be the kicker.
One day after rehearsal he was stopped by said cutie.
“You’re different.”
“Excuse me?” Blaine asked quietly, adjusting his bag strap on his shoulder.
“I remember you from last year. I used to be so happy that someone else had an eye for fashion yet here you are with your hair plastered to your head.” Kurt reached out to tap gently on it. Blaine froze, eyes widening. “You know I thought you’d be more talkative.”
“I like to keep myself to myself. That way no one gets hurt.” Blaine’s eyes flickered around the room, looking for the doors.
Kurt stepped back knowingly, “I’m not going hurt you, Blaine.”
“You know my name?”
“Of course. Try as you might, people still know who you are.” Kurt glanced to the floor and smiled, “Some people even want to get to know you properly.”
Blaine looked up as Kurt stepped forward slightly. He stepped back and said, “I- I’m sorry, I have to go.” Then, he ran out of the choir room.
For the next week, Kurt attempted conversation with him after rehearsal or practice but he ran away every time. He couldn’t have someone getting close, no matter how much he wanted to. Of course he noticed Kurt. How could he not? With the confidence he exudes he would be hard to miss. Blaine wished he could be that brave.
When the next Monday came around and Kurt didn’t try to talk to him, instead just glanced his way pitifully, it hit him. He wants to talk to Kurt, he just doesn’t know what to say. The next day he sat next to him during rehearsal and asked if they could talk. Thankfully, he agreed and they arranged to go to a park nearby.
They sat down on the swings and swayed gently.
“Kurt, I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“Ignoring you, quite rudely can I add.” Blaine shook his head. “I’m gay.”
“I had a feeling,” Kurt breathed out. “You don’t have to be scared. I know last year I was ‘the guy who came out’ but now it’s just who I am and no one cares all that much.”
“I’m not that brave,” Blaine whispered.
“Hey, look at me,” Kurt asked. He turned on his swing and cupped Blaine’s chin. “I’m not forcing you to come out with what I’m about to say but all it takes is one spout of stupid courage and then you can do things you’ve always dreamed.”
“Yeah,” Blaine nodded. “Can you help me? I’m not ready to come out yet but... I think you might be able to help me feel more like myself.”
“Whatever you need. I’m here. Always.”
The next few months flew by in a blur of school, glee, Kurt, school, homework, Kurt, football and, oh, more Kurt. Blaine had developed a crush on his newest friend. So much so that when they talk about going to New York, he imagines them sharing a tiny little apartment and an even smaller bed but they don’t care because they’re together. More than once, he’s refrained from shoving Kurt against a wall, or bookcase - either works, and kissing him senseless. He’s just addicted to the way his lips move and how animated he is.
“Blaine? Blaine?”
“Uh, yeah what?” He snapped back to reality.
“I was asking what you thought about me doing Whitney in glee. You know, you’ve been spacing out a lot recently and, honestly, I’m hurt. Do you not like me anymore?” Kurt asked, playing with his fingers and tearing up.
“No! No, you’re amazing I like you so much! It drives me crazy.” Blaine blurred out.
“Crazy?”
“Crazy for you,” he whispered.
Kurt’s face slowly melted into an open-mouthed grin. “Really?”
“Yep.”
“Come here.” Kurt beckoned Blaine to move next to him at his kitchen table. He cupped his cheek and leaned in, hesitating to give Blaine time to move away. Instead, Blaine closed the gap, sliding their lips together. They sighed simultaneously. Blaine shifted to hold Kurt’s cheek and pulled him in further, angling his face to the left. When they pulled away, his hand fell to the table with a bang. “Wow.”
“Yeah,” Blaine giggled. “Should we talk about this or-“ Kurt cut him off with another kiss.
Their first fight was five weeks later and was about Blaine not wanting to go public. Kurt hurt because he wanted to show off his boyfriend, but Blaine was scared. They both were heated and said things that they didn’t mean. For the first time in a long time, Blaine sat with the football team at lunch. He felt empty. His side was cold and the conversation around him was dull and grey. Slamming his tray down, he stood up. He walked over to the nearest empty table and stood on it.
“Hello!” He yelled, catching the attention of a few people. A girl from a few tables over ran over and handed him a megaphone. “Uh, thanks. Hello, everyone, can I have your attention please?”
“Oh,” Kurt breathed from his table.
“I have something I would like to say. As you know, I am on the football team so if any of you make fun of me I will kick your ass!” Blaine heard a few laughs. “Ok, so, first of all, I’m gay! Like super gay. Uh, secondly, Kurt Hummel is my amazing boyfriend who can also kick your ass, probably harder than I can. And thirdly,” Blaine put the megaphone down and walked over to Kurt. He grabbed his hands, “I’m sorry. I didn’t realise how stupid I was being. On days which may not be so good because of us being out, I know that I have you. I’m not in this for a short time. I want you for as long as you’ll have me, which I hope is forever. I love you, Kurt.”
“I love you too,” Kurt replied, shoulders shaking to stop himself from crying. “I’ll love you forever.”
“For always?” Blaine laughed.
“For always.”