Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"I’ve grown tired of hearing your lies."

🐉

The student stood up to write his answer on the board. When he finished writing with the squeaky chalk, the teacher was stunned for a moment, squinted his eyes, then went to look on in disappointment.

“You wrote the answer upside down and backward.” 

“Hmmm… I did.”
“Write it the correct way.”
“It is correct, you just can’t see from your point of view.”
“My point of view is the same as everybody else’s.”
The boy was silent for a long time and said. “...maybe that’s the problem.”

It seemed this class already had a class clown even before they got here. However, the clown prince was not going to share his crown - he was childish like that, immediately he stood up on his chair then put his hands on top of his desk and lifted his whole body up into a handstand. 

“It looks good to me.”
Gojo Satoru said.

A boy dressed head to toe in a black uniform. He wore his blazer jacket unbuttoned with a white t-shirt underneath that was now hanging in front of his face and revealing the muscles of his stomach. His messy bed-head hair that he probably thought to look stylish was hanging upside down too, its stark white coloring looked like falling snow. He drew the eyes of every girl except Shoko who was too busy rolling hers.

The boy looked happy to have someone agree with him. “See, my sister said that Da Vinci used to write all his results backward and upside down as a code to whoever tried to read his notes afterward…” 

Shoko had been napping in class until the ruckus from this woke her up. She wasn’t very pleased to see that the first thing she saw upon waking was a fully grown man doing a handstand.

She was a little bit shocked that someone as self-absorbed as Gojo could be so completely lacking in self-awareness. He knew how ridiculous he looked, right, right?

“Do something about him.” She hissed at Geto who was sitting a few desks away.
“What? I think it’s funny.” Geto whispered back, covering his mouth - glossy lips with his palm.
Geto was distracted trying to trace the shape of the curve of Gojo’s exposed pale flesh of his hips as they dipped into his tight black pants that practically strangled his waist, which meant he was practically useless right now. 

“You two are the exact same kind of terrible.” A match made in hell. Or rather, whenever Gojo Satoru and Geto Suguru were together it was heaven for them and hell for everyone else around them. 

It was at that point Shoko wanted to give up even though she promised to make it through the rest of the day sober. Their first day at a new school and the spotlight again was on the both of them with Shoko cast-off to some side role. The girl who always rolled her eyes at the two of them. Something like that. Whatever. She was tired and wanted to sleep off her drunkenness from last night.

“Enough of that, can somebody solve this problem.”
“I can…” Gojo jumped from where he was handstanding on his desk like a circus performer and landed on his feet. He walked up to the board and started to write in shapes that even Shoko - a prodigy medical student could not understand.
The math teacher, flummoxed. “That’s three-dimensional calculus.”
“Yeah, so?”
“This is an introduction to algebra course.”
“How about I teach this class from now on? Obviously, I’d do a much better job than you, and look at it - the girls like me more already. I bet your mother would like me more than you, too-” 

Gojo was sent outside to carry buckets for the rest of the day.
Shoko tucked her head into her folded arms that rested on the top of her desk. Finally some peace and quiet. It was at that point she heard the teacher calling on her. “
Why do you think my class is naptime?”
“It’s not your fault sensei, it’s just I was up drinking all last night. If you want me to wake up I could really use a smoke right now.” 

Shoko was sent outside in the hallway to carry buckets for the rest of the day as well.
She failed to see what she had done wrong, it was obvious between Geto, Gojo, and herself she was the well behaved one. At least she didn’t make so much noise.

When she got out into the hallway she didn’t feel like carrying buckets in both hands, corporal punishment was barbaric anyway. Shoko was just glad to finally find a spot where she could smoke. She drew the box out of her pocket and hit the corner against her palm lazily until one fell out. Just as she was about to light it, Gojo who really was standing there holding a heavy bucket in each arm inched his way closer to her.

“You’ll die more quickly if you smoke those you know.”
“Good. I won’t have to talk to you anymore.”
“Don’t be so unfriendly. At least not to me. How can you be mean to someone so cute? Don’t you think I deserve to be spoiled a little more?”
“I think the problem is you’re just a little too friendly.”  Shoko spat out quickly and then inhaled just a little bit of smoke. Sweet relief. Gojo was always blowing smoke anyway with his ridiculous ego, so he had no right to complain.

“I think I’ll leave a beautiful corpse behind.”
“Does everything you say have to be so macabre?”
“I work with corpses all day, sorry for not being cheerful enough for you.”
“I forgive you. I’m just that good a guy.” Gojo smiled. “I bet my corpse will be prettier than yours.” 

Shoko decided to change the subject because if you gave him any excuse he would just keep talking about himself. There was only one person Gojo loved more than himself, though Gojo, in his infinite stupidity, did not seem to have realized that yet. 

“You realize we’re supposed to be here undercover, as normal students in order to find the curse users attending this school.” She pointed out. “Can you be normal for like five minutes?”
“Yeah, I’m being normal right now. I can do everything so I can be normal.  I’m the best at being normal. What’s your problem?”
“You.” 

“Whatever, Suguru thought I was funny. Suguru was looking at me-”
“Of course he did, he’s always looking at you, he’s obsessed with you.”

Shoko felt like, in her impatience, she had accidentally spilled a big secret. Gojo’s normally smug expression broke. It started with a single crack appearing in his smile, then it spread to the rest of his face. Perhaps she had said something wrong, something she wasn’t supposed to. They were all three of them classmates, but they rarely went on missions together, and almost never spoke about their true feelings. Perhaps because they were afraid of breaking something fragile like glass.

Gojo touched a finger to his snow-white cheeks and then used his whole hand to try to cover them. He was blushing, but with the sudden exposure, the vulnerability, it looked like he was bleeding from his face and trying to wipe it away. Drops of blood in the snow.

Gojo had put the buckets down by this point. “W-what?”
“Why are you acting like you’re surprised? You should know by now, it’s obvious. I mean, you’re  always looking at him, too.” I should probably learn how to talk more sensitively if I want to be a doctor. Shoko often told herself, but then she never did.
“S-so everyone knows, huh?”
“Since when did you become so timid. Are you kidding me? It’s out of character for you.”
“D-do you think Suguru knows?” He looked like a child desperately trying to hide a secret, like, if he covered his mouth up the feelings might not slip out from between his lips.

“Yes, everyone seems to know except for the two of you,” Shoko said, breathing smoke from her lips as she did. 

Once she got started smoking it was hard to stop. That was how she became addicted. She was probably addicted to the bitterness. Gojo liked candy, but she didn’t, she hated sweet things. That’s probably why everything that came out of her mouth was so nasty.

“Do you think I should tell him?”
“That’s probably a bad idea.”
“I’m going to tell him by the end of the day. I’m finally going to tell him how I really feel.” Gojo said, getting right in Shoko’s face. 

Shoko blew smoke at him too. “Then, why are you telling me? Why should I care?”

Shoko turned away from him. She should probably go somewhere outside of school grounds to smoke. Just as she was about to leave, Gojo went back to smiling. Happy to be full of himself as always, though lately,  he was full of thoughts of Geto as well. Geto was inside of him now.

“I know you do.” Gojo teased. He folded his hands behind his back, he was just floating there without a care in the world, because nothing could grab him, nothing could touch him, or hold onto him and so therefore there was nothing weighing him down. Except for his feelings for one man .“I mean have you met me? I’m just so damn lovable. It’s impossible not to give a damn.” 

“Sure,” Shoko said, not really listening.
This was Shoko’s own opinion, but she thought there was such a thing as loving someone too much. As being too close. Gojo and Geto were practically overlapped, it was like they wanted to share the same heart, the same soul, as romantic as that sounded in medical terminology that would just be considered a class case of parasitism.

In her cold, clinical mind there was no reason to get that close to anybody else. Placing your mouth over someone else’s that was just an unwanted transmission of germs.
That’s just because you don’t love anybody. A voice asked her.
That wasn’t Gojo’s voice, it was her own. Part of spending all day dissecting corpses meant, learning to talk to yourself. It wasn’t crazy, Shoko justified it just killed the time.
That’s not true, I love myself. Shoko told the voice. And I like dead things.
Weirdo. The voice said back.
Well, I already know that.  

🐉

Shoko got assigned to clean the music room after class as extra punishment when the teacher learned she had just been skipping class to smoke off-campus. She tried to skip that too, but Geto wouldn’t let her. He even came with her to make sure she would do it. 

The moment they were alone in the music room Shoko tried to light up. “You shouldn’t do that. That’s wrong.” Geto said as he snatched it out of her fingers. He put out the lit end of her cigarette on the palm of his own hand. Apparently, he didn’t realize how painful that was to watch.

That was Geto, so attentive and watchful to the pain of others he barely paid attention to himself. A classic bleeding heart. Shoko thought to herself. That’s not a good thing he should really get that stitched up already. 

One of the biggest problems doctors come across is some people just don’t want to feel better.
They’ll keep clinging to broken things forever, like squeezing tighter onto broken glass in their fingertips as it cuts deeper and deeper. People like to ignore when they’re bleeding.

Geto was drawn to broken things like Gojo, because he had those broken feelings too lodged deep inside of him, and they wouldn’t ever come out.
That’s what Shoko thought anyway, not that she really cared.

Even though Shoko was the one supposed to clean the music room, Geto ended up doing all the work. Shoko sat from the corner watching him. His messy black hair was always bound up in a bun way too tight behind his head. He had small, sharp features on his face, a sly little smile like a lizard. He had this way of closing his eyes almost completely, only to keep on watching you through the slits of his eyelids.

That was how he usually sneaked looks at Gojo while pretending not to pay attention to him. This time it was Shoko he was looking at. “You know Satoru passed me a note in class.”
“What are you going to do? Tattle to the teacher?”

“Who do you think I am exactly?”
“A damn hall monitor.”

Geto giggled to himself, soft and gentle laughter, calming like listening to a stream. Geto had such a peaceful effect on others, even if he wasn’t at peace with himself. Even someone hyperactive like Gojo was lulled by him, almost hypnotized by those dark eyes. “You’re always so frank, it’s really charming, that kind of honesty.”

If you were a friend of Geto’s he was pretty much incapable of seeing your bad qualities. That’s probably why around him someone like Gojo became almost human. “Satoru said he wants to meet me behind the school, I wonder what it’s for.”
“You shouldn’t act like you don’t already know,” Shoko said sharply.
“I don’t.”

Geto looked like he was being honest.
How could two people so close to each other be so oblivious? Shoko was a doctor, not a psychologist. She didn’t really want to puzzle at what people were thinking, she just wanted to dissect the brain to see how all the individual parts worked.
But if she had to try at a diagnosis.
It was like they were both experiencing feelings of unrequited love for each other. Each of them completely unaware of what the other felt. They were alone in their love. Shoko watched the way Geto lifted the cover of the piano, he didn’t look like he knew how to play, but the three notes his long slender fingers chose, sounded sad and in disharmony with one another. 

The same fingers that were afraid of touching Gojo. I think Geto knows. He’s in love with someone irreplaceable, and he’s heartbroken. A love where you had no idea what the other person was feeling was basically unrequited, right? 

“You know what I thought when I first met Satoru?” Geto said as he pulled the cover back over the keys.
“This guy is really annoying.” 

“I’d never met a genius before.” 

Shoko wanted to roll her eyes again, but if she kept doing that she’d probably get sick and hurl. 

“When I was a kid,” Geto began, which was weird because they never talked about their personal lives. That was the rule that kept them all friendly.  “I was always the best at sports. There was nobody in town who could beat me in a fight. I was good at everything I tried to do…” 

“Are you bragging?” Shoko asked. 

“I had convinced myself I was a really good person. That other people needed me. I stood up to bullies and helped people. I had a special power too, I could see ghosts and stop them from hurting people.”
They weren’t ghosts, they were just curses, but of the three of them Geto was born the farthest away from Jujutsu Society. He didn’t come from an old family as Gojo did.

“Satoru was the first genius I’d ever met, with unreal talent, almost devastatingly powerful. Before I was confident in myself, I thought I was special, chosen even, meant to help others, but all of that was destroyed the day I met him.”

Gojo was evidence as clear as day that there was no point in trying. Geto who worried so much if he was being good, if he was needed, who put all of himself into everything he did it must have been devastating to see someone, who was just born better, an inhuman genius, so far away from other people. 

“When I was first introduced to Satoru on our first day of school, I thought…”
“That you hated him? That he was a spoiled brat?”
“I thought he looked like he needed someone. You see I was good in everything I tried to do, but, there was never anyone who needed me. I never got the feeling, this is something only I can do.”

Shoko remembered that day. Yaga introduced the three of them. Shoko had been a part of the Jujutsu world for a long time as the sole reverse cursed technique user, Gojo was from an old family, so it was more like Geto was an outsider walking through the doorstep.

There in the music room, with tree branches showing in the window behind them.
Geto transferred in suddenly, like a stranger to their world.
Gojo was doing what he normally did, fooling around. He was holding a violin in hand and playing it, but only because it was easy for him. The music he produced was breathtakingly beautiful, but Shoko was unimpressed. It was technically proficient, of genius quality, but he had no interest in the strings he was holding in his fingertips.

When Geto stepped into the room, Gojo was still ignoring him to play the violin. Shoko wondered what he felt in that moment, maybe like someone who had played that instrument all his life being discouraged by a genius. Like stepping face to face with Heifetz.

Gojo was ignoring him, so Geto spoke first. “So you’re the one that Yaga wanted me to meet. I recall thinking the other day, you were a delicate-looking person.”
Almost nobody thought that when meeting Gojo for the first time.
The only thing they looked at was his eyes. He heard that over and over again. So you’re the six eyes. That comment must have sounded a little bit strange, it roused Gojo’s attention.

“Ah… who?” The only time Gojo looked even a little cute was when he was caught off guard like this. When people didn’t act according to his expectations.

It was the first summer in Jujutsu High School.
Soon after this encounter, Geto would become Gojo’s first friend. Around that time, Gojo stopped saying “I’m the strongest” and started saying “We’re the strongest.”

“Heifetz it was good.”
Upon hearing Heifetz’s debut, Fritz Kraster was quoted as saying we might as well take our fiddle and break them across our knees. Another said, he set all standards for 20th-century violin playing, everything about him conspired to create a sense of awe. 

There were two reactions to meeting Gojo, human jealousy, or a godlike sense of awe.
Geto didn’t react in either of those ways. He made a face that Gojo had never seen before.
“But it sounded, just a little bit lonely.”

Slowly he reached fingers towards Gojo’s face, as if wanting to caress the curve of his cheeks, feel it out for himself, but he stopped just short of touching him.
Geto suddenly, in front of everyone else, threw his arms around Gojo.
The violin he was holding in his hand fell to the ground. One of the strings snapped and made an awful note.
Gojo reacted with confusion, like a child who had never been held that way before. Shoko thought, Gojo would start laughing, or he would push him away, but something strange happened, his hands hesitated behind Geto’s back, as if he was unsure what to do with him, and then finally he held onto Geto’s back, fingers digging into the fabric as if he was trying to feel the skin underneath. 

“Seriously, who are you?” Gojo asked again.
“Sorry, I just wanted to touch you suddenly. To see if I can.”
“Jackass,” Gojo said pushing him away, their moment of intimacy over.

It was then as the witness to all of this Shoko realized that Geto was as big of a weirdo as Gojo.

“Gojo was the first person who ever needed me,” Geto said, finishing up his story, about the same time that he was done cleaning. “That’s why I’m a little bit worried. Gojo has bigger things to worry about than me. Even though the world needs Gojo Satoru, I feel like I’m stealing him away from other people. I want to be around him, and I want him to keep needing me.”
“He’s not superman you know, you’re just going to stroke his ego.”
“And, I don’t even care. If someone else gets hurt because Gojo was with me, I don’t think I’d be bothered… because I want him all to myself. I’m a pretty petty son of a bitch for thinking that way aren’t I?” 

Shoko sighed.
She had heard all of this before, from Gojo. “Why are you telling all of this to me?”
Geto suddenly started to laugh. He had a wide smile across his face, even though he was talking about his incredibly sad feelings just a moment ago. “Because I don’t have any other friends besides Satoru.” 

I guess we’re not friends then. Shoko wasn’t really bothered by that. Fewer friends meant fewer people you had to worry about. Staying far away from people, was just risk aversion, there was less chance of injury that way. She was a girl who liked to play it safe when it came to others.

“To me, it just sounds like you hate yourself.”
“Jeez, you always gotta insert your opinions into things don’t you?” Geto laughed that off too.
“No, I don’t. I told you I don’t care.”

Shoko remembered the music room, and then looked away from that memory. “It’s just if you think you’re sick, you should try medicating yourself first instead of falling in love.”
“You’re so unromantic.”
“That’s because I’m scientific,” Shoko said curtly.
“You’re not just a doctor, you’re a girl, you know that right?”
“I don’t wanna be,” Shoko said. She crossed her arms and stuck up her nose. She guessed she was a teenager too, capable of being childish like those two, but she didn’t really want to hear it from idiot number two. Her idiot boys. Her boys. They were hers even though, she didn’t really want them.

She sighed again as she made the decision to follow Geto. She guessed either way for the next three years of her school life she was stuck with them. 

🐉

Confessions were usually held behind the back of the school. If you were particularly romantic, it was in front of a cherry tree. However, it was in the middle of winter, early February to be exact so the cherry tree was withered in dead. Rather than pink flowers, ice and snow clung to its withering branches, which almost looked like dead fingers reaching out. 

That tree looked like a picture of loneliness, and Satoru Gojo standing underneath it waiting for them did too. The first thing Geto noticed was how cold Gojo looked. He immediately became the nagging mother. You spoil him way too much, Shoko thought.

His hands reached forward almost to touch Gojo’s cheeks, only to pinch them and pull them far apart, forcing Gojo’s face into a wide smile. “Your face is so red. Look how cold you are.”
“Who gave you permission to touch me?”
“Do you not like it?”
“I can use the infinity to make it impossible for you to touch me any time I want.”
“Then, do it.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Then, stop complaining.” Geto chided him softly. “You should really think about yourself more,” Geto said as he pulled the scarf away from his neck. He began wrapping it around Gojo’s neck instead. Most people looked in awe at Gojo, but Gojo was always the one staring in awe at these small gestures of affection Geto made. The way his fingers touched and held as if treasuring Gojo as if he were someone delicate.

“I only have one pair of gloves though… I guess we could share them.” Geto placed his hand over Gojo’s, and then slid Gojo’s fingers into his round glove. Gojo let him for a moment, and then quickly pulled his hands away.

“No way, that’s embarrassing. I can’t believe I have to be seen together in public with someone like you.”
“It’s just us here.”

I’m right here. Shoko thought.
Standing from a little bit farther away, if she closed her eyes almost all the way, until all she could see were blurry shapes, then the two of them might almost look like two normal boys behind the school.

But they weren’t normal. The three of them were pretending to be normal for the sake of an undercover mission. They were high school students tasked with hunting down and capturing other high school students hiding in Saitama Urami East High School. They were pretending to be normal in a high school out in the boonies, and they were doing a bad job of it.

Satoru and Suguru were probably two boys who could never be normal.

“Suguru, there’s something I have to tell you.”

“You ate my food out of the fridge last night, even though it had my name on it. You stole my favorite t-shirt and wore it this morning, and you have no intention of giving it back. You said you’d stay on your side of the bed last night and you didn’t.”

“Wait, you’re mad about that stuff? You mad bro? Why are you mad? It’s obvious I did all of that stuff because everything that’s yours is mine.” Gojo said like Geto belonged to him.

Not only could they never be normal, but it was also likely, Gojo thought of Suguru as ‘someone special’.
Someone he wanted to have all to himself.
Someone he wanted to ruin so no one else could have, so no one else could ever want.
Gojo was, embittered, apathetic, unfeeling, someone who felt so much and for other people, Geto must have seemed exceptionally dazzling. He made someone even as unfeeling as Gojo, feel the touch of someone else’s hands.

That’s why.
Gojo cherished him.
Like tucking away a glittering pebble he found in a sandbox. It was childish, a little kid with a crush. A little boy fantasizing about first love.

A cold breath escaped him. “Suguru, for me you’re the only one…”
“I’m your only what?” Geto asked.
Shoko had no idea if he was playing oblivious or if he genuinely was.
“You’re my one and only…” As if crushing the precious stone he had tucked away in the palm of his hand, he could breathe the magical words and end the spell between them, the magic between Gojo and Geto would end and fantasy would become reality. “You’re my one and only best friend.” 

He totally chickened out!
Shoko had to cover her mouth with her hands to stop herself from laughing. 

Geto suddenly threw his arms around Gojo again. That guy was so weirdly touchy-feely. “You’re my best friend, too. My one and only.”

Apparently both of them were fine with this arrangement because neither of them had any friends except each other. Shoko tried to run away again, but suddenly a hand grabbed her and pulled her toward them.

“Where do you think you’re going-” Geto said.
“You’re our best friend too, Shoko,” Gojo said.
Now they were finishing each other’s sentences too. Geto and Gojo called themselves the strongest, but to Shoko, they were just the worst. She was suddenly pulled into the middle of a group hug that she didn’t really want. 

“Will you two let go already?” They complied with her request. She stopped to catch her breath. Damn, it was almost like smoking a pack a day was unhealthy for you or something. “You guys aren’t taking this mission seriously at all, I told Yaga this would happen if you both came with me.”

They were investigating two students who had defected from the school and become curse users. Usually, Shoko would not be let anywhere near this mission. It was too dangerous. The only person capable of using the reverse cursed technique was treated as a special, precious thing too. It was because if she died there was no one else who could use reverse cursed energy to heal, that they constantly kept her inside Jujutsu High, as a safe little prisoner.

However, this time Shoko knew personally the student who had defected. To Shoko, they were a precious senpai or something like that. Yaga thought Shoko would be the best to investigate someone capable of changing their appearance and hiding so well that the combined resources of the college had not been able to track them down for a month.

That was why Yaga had sent both Gojo and Geto as her bodyguards, and told all of them to blend in as they investigated, and not to draw attention to themselves. Gojo and Geto were completely failing that second part so far.

“There’s no way we could let you go on this mission alone. I mean you’re not awesome like me.” Gojo said.
“We both care about you, y’know.”
Geto said. 

“I really wish you didn’t.” 

Shoko didn’t really think she was good, but on the whole, she had healed far more people than she had hurt. Of course, she wasn’t really that invested in healing people, she was just doing her job, if they died on her she didn’t act too disappointed either but still - she couldn’t see what she had done so wrong that as punishment she was stuck third-wheeling these two.

This was supposed to be her story, dammit. Not Geto and Gojo’s love story.
Oh well.
If she was annoyed right now, she would calm down after her first drink.

“You hurt Geto’s feelings,” Gojo said.
“You hurt Gojo’s feelings,” Geto said. 

“Sorry, sorry. I'm so much meaner when I'm sober.” Shoko stretched out and decided that was enough drama for the day. “Let’s just go back to a base already.” While all three of them were investigating in the boonies, they were sharing one apartment together. Just like the old sitcom Three’s Company. That’s what Gojo said when Yaga broached the idea for them.

 Gojo was someone who watched way too much television. Probably because he had too much free time on his hands. Probably because he didn’t make his first friend until high school.

“Don’t you mean let’s go home?” Geto asked.
“Sure, whatever you say,” Shoko answered.

While they were walking back to that apartment, Shoko let her thoughts wander again back to the start of this mission. It happened in the school infirmary. Well, Shoko liked to call it the morgue, because most of the bodies that were brought there ended up dying. She guessed that was a little bit cold of her, but most dead things, like herself, were lacking in body heat.

This time she was brought face to face with a, particularly troublesome patient.
Their senpai, Mei Mei.
Her name was the word “Dark” written in kanji twice, and she had two raven-colored eyes, just like her name. Her hair was usually tied back, but in her hospital gown, it was left down. Her bangs always covered one of her eyes, but because of her current messy appearance, both eyes were showing. 

She was staring at her watch, impatient.
“If the pain is unbearable right now, you can try those painkillers I prescribed. Those ones are good, I tested them myself.”
“Are you saying you took some of my medication for yourself?” Mei Mei said, pretending to be stunned.
“I wouldn’t be a good doctor if I prescribed you medication that I wasn’t willing to take myself.”
Shoko replied defensively. She put on her good girl face. She was always a good girl, and always helping others with her gift, that's what all the adults had told her. 
Most doctors were lauded for their empathy, but Shoko preferred her numbness.

"Hey, hey, Mei Mei."
"Yes?" She replied, still all formal and businesslike.
"Do you know what the difference between a functional drunk and a dysfunctional drunk is."
"What?"
"Natural talent," Shoko said. 
"Well, that inspires confidence." Mei Mei complained. 

Usually, someone would be upset seeing their senpai in such a broken state. Mei Mei had bandages over her head and most of her body. Still, she looked like she was in a hurry to be somewhere else. That’s why Shoko preferred her dead patients to the living ones, they didn’t give her lip. 

“I should really be the one to go after him.”
“You’re in no state to do that.”
“But I’m his big sister. I should at least pretend to act the part.” Mei Mei said, and then, “He’s my little brother. He belongs to me.”
“You sound real broken up about it.” Shoko knew she should probably respect her senpais, but none of the second years at Jujutsu High acted all that respectable. There was Mei Mei who only respected money.

Then, the two-second years who had defected in the middle of a mission. According to Mei Mei’s account, they went crazy, attacked her, and then kidnapped her little brother to be taken, hostage. The only reason there wasn’t an execution order right now was because of that hostage, young sorcerers were a precious resource in this world.

Until she heard the news, Shoko didn’t even know Mei Mei had a younger brother.
When she asked what he was doing on a mission with his sister - Gojo just cleaned his left ear out with his pinky and said, “What’s the problem? That’s how old I was when I first started fighting curses alone. If the kid is strong enough, and he wants to be there…” 

“Did you want to start fighting curses that young?”
Gojo looked stunned for a second. “Yeah, cuz it was fun.”

“I didn’t know someone like you had a family,” Shoko said, honestly to Mei Mei.
“Of course even someone like me has a family. Everyone has a family.”
Everyone except me, Shoko thought.
“Did you think I hatched from an egg? Or maybe I’m a cuckoo bird just pretending to be human.”
“That’s exactly what I thought.” Shoko was honest again. 

“I really am broken up about it. I know I’m not the most caring person but, without him, I’ll be broke…I invested a lot of time in that kid.”

Maybe Mei Mei was bad at expressing herself.
However, Shoko could not help but feel something was off about this whole mission.
Well, either way, Shoko wasn't the type to get involved in other people's family circumstances. She didn't see herself as a good person like Geto did. 

If Shoko were being honest about herself, which she always was, she would say being a good doctor didn’t necessarily mean you were a good person.
Even if you saved lives that didn’t make you a good person.
She was just someone who happened to be born with the ability to heal others with a touch, she didn’t care like Geto, and she didn’t fight for others like Gojo.

This time, like so many other times in the past Shoko decided to just keep her head down and do what she was told. Being a doctor was just a job after all. That’s why she couldn’t look through the world through the same rose-colored glasses that Gojo and Geto seemed to be looking through. This was just a job. This was just high school. They were just classmates.

What point was there in playing friends, in falling in love when in three years it would be over with?  They would probably be entirely different people when they grew up, they’d probably be strangers, even two people who fell in love as fast as Gojo and Geto could fall in love out of love just as fast. 

That’s why when the three of them were walking together home, she made sure to walk two steps behind them.
This is why you don’t have any friends.
A voice in her head said.
That’s not true.
I have you.

Shoko’s fingers grasped at something invisible in the air. The same way that Gojo and Geto tried to hold each other’s hands. The same way that Mei Mei was grasping for money. Everyone wanted to reach out and try to touch something, she supposed, to hold onto something real.

As for me.
Shoko thought.
I really need a cigarette right now.