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Tubbo walked around the city, his mind in another place. Lately, things were… complicated. Tubbo felt happy and peaceful, and everything was good, but he felt very depressed. His brain seemed to wander into dark places, and his emotions were all over the place. He found himself wandering around outside to distract himself often, a way of avoiding being confronted by Tommy or his dad.
Especially not his dad. Tubbo isn’t ready to burden his dad. His dad has enough to deal with as it is, and adding Tubbo’s problems on top would make it worse. He walked over to the bench that him and Tommy would often sit together, sitting down. He curled in on himself and sighed. The sun was beginning to set, so he would have to head home soon. He played with the hair that was in his face, letting his mind wander more. Intrusive thoughts would come and go, but most of all, Tubbo felt drained. He didn’t want to get up, he didn’t want to move, he didn’t want to go out and interact. It was all too much.
It began to get dark, and Tubbo stayed in the same spot. He was distracted. He sat there and breathed. His back began to hurt, but he still kept himself in the same spot. A few tears would fall here in there, but he sat in mostly silence. Suddenly, Tubbo heard a voice behind him, it seemed to be laced with concern.
“Tubbo! There you are, thank god, Schlatt texted me and asked me to look for you since you hadn’t come home, are you okay dude?” Tubbo suddenly recognized the voice as Quackity, but he didn’t have the energy to turn around and look at him. Quackity sat next to him, putting an arm around Tubbo.
“I-I’m fine… I-I-I’m sorry, I d-didn’t mean to worry anyone…” Tubbo mumbled out, his voice meek and quiet.
“It doesn’t sound like you’re fine. How about I walk you home, huh?” Quackity told him, now standing in front of the boy, holding out a hand for him to take. Tubbo took it hesitantly and followed him back home. He prayed that his dad wouldn’t ask that many questions. They went back to his house, and Quackity gave him a hug before leaving. It felt nice.
Tubbo walked into the house, only to see his dad pacing back and forth in the kitchen. Schlatt stopped in his steps when he saw his son. “Tubbo! Oh thank god, where were you?!” His dad ran up to him gently placing his hands on his shoulders, a worried expression displayed across his face.
“Sorry…” Tubbo mumbled, trying to get out of his dad’s grip. He just wanted to be left alone and go to bed. He didn’t have the energy to talk to his dad about how he spent his entire day in his head, anxious and depressed, and that he didn’t know the reason why. Schlatt led him to the couch to sit down.
“Tubbo, are you alright? You… haven’t been yourself these past couple of days. Did something happen?” His dad asked worriedly.
“Nothing happened! I just don’t feel good, alright?!” Tubbo snapped. He was beginning to get irritated, he just wanted to be left alone. He didn’t understand why his dad was so worried. It wasn’t a big deal. He was fine… right?
Schlatt looked taken aback. This wasn’t Tubbo at all. This wasn’t the happy go-lucky kid he had raised. Something was wrong, and goddammit Schlatt was gonna figure it out. “Tubbo… you don’t need to raise your voice. I was just wondering. Just… you haven’t been yourself lately. I care about you, and I want to know what’s wrong.”
Tears were starting to form at the corners of Tubbo’s eyes. He frowned attempting to hold it back, he refused to let his emotions take over. Tubbo tried to take a couple deep breaths but they came out as whimpers and sniffles. “I-I do-don’t know w-what’s wrong…” Tubbo managed to get out.
“What do you mean?”
“I-I-I sh-should b-be ha-happy, but-but I’m not…”
Schlatt felt his heart break. He knew that feeling. He’d felt it often, especially right after Tubbo was born. He was so sad and empty, even though he had this small bundle of joy right in front of him, that was always smiling and trying to make him smile too. Schlatt rubbed circles into Tubbo’s back as he clung onto him.
“It’s okay not to be happy Tubbster… You don’t have to be happy all the time, you don’t need to stress kiddo.”
Tubbo was confused. How is it okay not to be happy when there’s so much that he could be happy about? Schlatt could tell he was confused and so he began to explain.
“Let me explain… It started when you were just born…”
…
Schlatt had brought Tubbo home that day, and was holding him in his arms. He was sitting on the couch, observing the tiny human. His small nose and the soft breathing from the sleeping child. He had dark brown hair on his head and big ears that looked just like Schlatt’s.
He thought he could finally be happy as he looked down at the kid, but his brain seemed to be so empty. Things had been so rough for him lately, he had no clue how he was going to keep up with this. He had never taken care of a kid before, and he didn’t have a sliver of an idea of what he was doing. His heart sank the more and more he thought about it.
Schlatt had problems in the past with depression, so it wasn’t a surprise it was coming on right now. He just needed to keep himself distracted, and start on his meds in a more consistent matter.
While Schlatt thought through all these problems, the baby beneath him began to yawn and make small noises. He squirmed in his arms, and yawned.
Schlatt was panicked a little bit, but the kid’s eyes began to flutter open, and his heart melted when little Tubbo opened his big blue eyes and saw his dad’s face. It made everything seem alright in the world, it made him think, that although his brain was working against him, if he persevered and reached out for help when he needed it, everything was going to work out okay.
The little child made small noises, obviously still tired. So Schlatt took him up to the small crib he had next ot his bed. He placed the kid down and breathed in and out. This kid was going to be a lot of work, but he knew it would be worth it.
Schlatt finished his story, and Tubbo was crying. He pulled his son into a tight hug and made sure he knew that he was there for him. That he was never letting go.
“We’ll look into some meds kiddo, okay? I know how it is, you get it from me.” Schlatt told him in a comforting manner. Depression was a common thing among teenagers and it hurt him so much to have to see Tubbo go through it.
“B-b-but y-you have s-so much else to w-worry about….” Tubbo hiccuped.
“You are much more important, Tubbo. I am so glad you came into my life, and I promise you that we will get you better. I love you so much.”
“I love you too, dad… thank you,”
____________________________________________________
After months of appointments and prescriptions for meds, Tubbo had found a therapist he liked and medication that worked for him. His brain was finally working with him for once, and they got him officially diagnosed. Tubbo was so happy that he finally found a comfortable spot for his mental issues.
Things had gotten much better for him, and it was all thanks to his dad. He couldn’t ask for a better family. Whenever Schlatt couldn’t take him to an appointment, Quackity would be there to take him over, never pushing on his problems and asking questions.
Tubbo’s therapist was a girl who was new and apparently lived over in the badlands. Her name was Puffy, and she seemed to really care for Tubbo. She was a good therapist who knew what he needed and always made sure that Tubbo was comfortable in the appointments. He often held his bee plush during the appointments or played with things such as putty or play-doh. She helped him through his down moments where he thought he would never feel happy again. She understood how much stress he was under for a kid his age.
By the end of the year, Tubbo was happy again, and things seemed to be looking up for him. But one thing came to his mind every time he thought he was sad again, and it was his dad’s comforting words to him when he needed it most.
“I’m so glad you came into my life, Tubbo.”