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“These missions are such a waste of time.”
A realization comes to Gon when he is sixteen years old. It strikes him so suddenly that he stops walking for a moment, which causes Killua and Kurapika to look back at him, questions on their faces. Leorio keeps walking for a second, and only stops when he notices no one is by his side.
“What gives?” Leorio says and shoves his hands into his pockets, turning to face Gon.
“You don’t always take the same missions as me,” Gon says to no one in particular. Well, he’s speaking to Killua specifically, but he points his head at the sky in thought and as a result no one is certain. The three of them look at each other, unsure what he’s on about.
“Our goals sometimes differ,” Kurapika answers for the group helpfully. Leorio nods his agreement. Gon lets his head fall to the side, looking at Killua now.
“You don’t always take the same missions as me,” he says again. “But you’ve taken all the ones where we’ve assessed the New Dons.”
“So?” Killua pipes up now.
“You don’t really care about the New Dons, though.” Gon rationalizes. “You always say you don’t like these missions.”
“Is there a point to this?”
“Who cares? We’re all here because we get something out of it and we work well as a team,” Leorio supplies with a frown, his impatience obvious. He glances back down the road. “And we’re gonna miss our ride if we don’t keep going.”
Only Kurapika is silent, looking thoughtfully from Gon to Killua.
“What?” Killua snaps. Kurapika still doesn’t answer. He turns instead to start walking next to Leorio again, leaving Killua and Gon stopped in the road. Gon starts again after a moment and matches his stride to Killua’s, his face still scrunched in contemplation.
“Don’t hurt yourself,” Killua grumbles next to him.
“I can’t figure out what you get out of it,” Gon insists. “You only ever complain, and it’s not like you need the quick cash.” Killua raises his eyebrow so Gon adds quickly, “it’s not that I don’t want you to come! Missions are the best with Killua.” Killua turns his face away from Gon and makes a strangled sound, but Gon pays this no mind. He’s curious and he wants an answer.
“You’re thinking about it too much,” Killua says after a moment. “And what about you? Your dad told you about a whole other world and you’re here taking care of new crime bosses struggling for power that doesn’t even matter.”
“Ging can care about what’s out there.” Gon stares into the blue of Killua’s eyes. “I care about what’s in front of me.”
“Gon,” Killua groans, turning away again. “You don’t even know what you’re saying.”
“Why not?” Gon questions genuinely. “It’s true. And they’re dangerous people, I don’t want them to start causing issues again! Not like when people started experimenting with the ant remains.”
Killua shoots a glance at Gon, his eyes searching for something amiss. Gon isn’t angry to talk about it, he feels calm even, but it’s important to him that Killua knows what he means.
“Well, I want that too then,” Killua says indifferently.
“You’re lying, Killua,” Gon sing-songs.
“I’m not!”
“I can tell,” Gon says through a smile. It’s more or less true, even; he has started to pick up on when Killua isn’t telling him the whole truth after years of being best friends. He doesn’t need to think about it at the moment, though, because it’s obvious.
Gon gives Killua a look out of the side of his eye. “That’s fine, don’t tell me. I can figure it out.”
Killua glares at him. “Whatever.”
Gon hums happily, scratching his chin like he’s thinking. “Well, Alluka is still at Heaven’s Arena with Wing and Zushi, right?” Killua says nothing, so Gon continues. “Are you just bored of waiting? The fights aren’t that fun to watch since Wing won’t let her use Nen yet, I’m sure. And she’s always training so you can’t see her a ton anyway.”
Gon chances a glance over at Killua, whose face is carefully arranged impassively.
“Okay, so not that then.” That wouldn’t make sense, anyway; Killua would never be bored with Alluka there. Gon continues to think aloud as they walk, Kurapika and Leorio still in view in front of them. “This is hard, Killua!”
“Then drop it,” Killua suggests.
“No!” Gon huffs immediately. “And we always get banged up on these fights. They’re pretty tough! Remember the last fight with the guy who was calling himself a Don?” Gon pokes Killua in the side to get a response. Killua practically launches himself to the other side of the road at the unexpected contact, which remind Gon of a spooked cat. He lets out a laugh just before Killua shoots back towards Gon, his hand reared back to retaliate.
“Of course I remember!” Killua yells, landing a solid flick to Gon’s forehead. “You nearly got us all found out at that dinner party because you just had to dance and make a fool of yourself! And then during the fight you kept trying to get us all to jump off the roof to escape! The roof, Gon, really? If I’m not there you’ll definitely find a way to get yourself killed!”
“The band was just so good, Killua!”
Gon stops again in the road and snaps his fingers, his face brightening in realization. “Oh, I see! It’s because you’re worried about me!”
Neither of them realizes that Leorio and Kurapika have stopped walking ahead of them until Leorio lets out a snort.
“That true? You’re worried about Gon, Killua?” He taunts, clearly holding in a laugh.
“No! I- I never said anything like that!” Killua sputters, his face steaming red. Gon smiles to himself; it’s always funny when he gets Killua to blush like that. Leorio just goes on laughing. “Why would I be worried!” Killua’s eyes open even wider than before and he clamps his mouth shut. Killua looks surprised, like he hadn’t meant to say that.
Gon tilts his head and thinks. It’s a good question, why would Killua be worried about him? He’s continued his training for five years. Even without his Nen, Gon has never had a problem holding his own. He had to learn plenty of new techniques to account for his lack of power, but most importantly he learned when to ask for help. Well, most of the time. He still took more liberties than he should, probably. But he had promised not to make the same mistakes as he did when he was younger, and he did everything he could to stick to that.
“I’m never in any real danger,” Gon says seriously.
“But, you know, what if you were,” Killua says back, feigning indifference. His cheeks have cooled off now, with just a touch of pink remaining flush across his nose. Gon stares at it and thinks about how it makes Killua’s eyes look a softer shade of blue. When Killua looks like this, it’s impossible for him not to feel like same sense of home he feels when he stares at the ocean surrounding Whale Island. Oddly enough, it’s started to make him feel the same sense of longing, too. He finds this confusing, because Whale Island is far away, which is why he misses it. It makes Gon’s head swim, because he can see Killua right in front of him, but for some reason it’s not enough. He reaches out his hand with the intention to close the distance between them. It would be so easy to push the silver hair aside to get a better look at his eyes. Would Killua’s hair be soft, or would it be tougher than it looks, like Killua? Gon wants to find out. In that moment, he almost forgets everything. Almost. But when he remembers, he lets his hand fall back down by his side.
He smiles as brightly as he can. “I’m just happy you’re here, Killua.” The words sound more emotional and less bubbly than he meant for them to.
The atmosphere has shifted from teasing to oddly heavy, and silence hangs around the group of them. Gon finally tears his gaze away from Killua.
“When will Kite get here?” He asks Kurapika.
“She said around midday.” Kurapika answers, pulling out his watch. “So they’re late.”
“I know you wanted to say hello to Kite, but you and Killua might need to get going if you’re gonna get inside the grounds before morning.”
“Right,” Gon says, his disappointment obvious. They had decided to split the group to enter the compound, because at the end of the day they couldn’t decide what had a higher chance of working out for them. Gon and Killua were planning to scale the surrounding walls; once inside, no further identification was needed as far as they knew. The New Don had that much trust in the security system. The risk was that they had never tried to scale the wall before, so they might encounter traps. Leorio, Kurapika, and Kite were all going to attempt to go through the front gates in a stolen van with stolen access codes. If they were found out, they could make a run for it, but that would be game over.
“We still have a long way to travel,” Killua adds.
“Yeah,” Gon relents. “Okay, we can go ahead. Kurapika, Leorio, make sure you tell Kite hi for me and Killua, okay?”
“We will,” Kurapika ensures him.
Gon turns back to Killua and shrugs, resituating his backpack on his shoulders. “Ready, Ki-lu-a?”
“Sure,” Killua replies, rolling his eyes at Gon. They wave goodbye to their companions and start back onto the path, alone this time.
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A realization comes to Killua when he is sixteen years old. Gon, for all his over-powered intuition, is painstakingly oblivious. He’s been walking behind his friend on the road for about half of a day now, all the while replaying his encounter from earlier in his mind. Each time he wants to groan when he thinks about the specifics of the conversation. Lucky for Killua, Gon is, like he said, oblivious. I was worried about you because I love you and it’s easier for me when you’re with me, Killua thinks. It makes him wince internally. Not that Gon would understand that.
Maybe Gon has gotten better at knowing when he’s lying, but that just makes Killua better at not telling the whole truth. They’re both different than they used to be, but one thing seems to never change about Gon. He wants Killua to be his best friend. That’s always been more than enough for Killua, but it’s probably the unwavering dedication his friend gives him that made his stupid feelings start getting involved. He’s been in too deep with Gon Freecss for as long as he can remember.
He listens to Gon go on and on about a fish he caught recently while traveling, and Killua thinks of how much he misses being there for all those funny times. He’s glad to be with Alluka, and he wouldn’t trade her or Something for the entire world, but his heart still aches uncomfortably in his chest when he thinks about Gon. There’s something Killua misses about them being together for all the seemingly insignificant parts of a random day. When they were younger, Killua would have been with Gon laughing his lungs out at the sight of a fish nearly dragging him right off the riverbank. In the quiet of his own mind, he can admit to himself that he misses a lot of things with Gon. The way Gon’s eyes light up immediately when he wakes him, not foggy with sleep at all, is something Killua especially loves for some reason. Gon wakes up like a sunrise.
Still, though, Gon’s entire being buzzes with energy when he’s especially excited to tell a story. Killua almost can’t bring himself to be sad about it when he listens to Gon’s voice melodically recount the events to him, like he’s been waiting to tell Killua about it for ages. Almost.
Killua feels a tug on his left arm, jerking him off the road and out of his nostalgia. One second he’s walking, and the next he’s crashing wildly into a bush. He nearly drops his Zetsu in favor of using Ren against his assailant, but then he realizes he’s face to face with Gon, cowering against him in the foliage. Killua flicks him on the forehead again in annoyance.
Gon just makes a face at him and brings his finger to his lips in a silencing motion. Killua rolls his eyes but doesn’t open his mouth to say anything. He’s not sure what Gon sensed, but there’s probably a reason he pulled them off the road. Into a bush. Where Killua is flush against Gon’s chest. So close, in fact, that he can hear Gon’s heart pounding in his chest. So close that he can feel Gon’s muscles under his shirt. Killua swallows thickly and stiffens. Gon’s eyes are focused forward, his head above Killua’s in their perched position. He must feel Killua’s movement, because he moves slightly to lean more into Killua and rests his hand on his back. His thumb rubs small circles on Killua’s back and he shifts to place his chin in the crook of Killua’s neck.
Killua’s never been more grateful that Gon can’t see his face, which is surely bright red and giving away how much he wants to melt into Gon’s half-hug. It would be nice, he reasons, to hug Gon.
For a moment, Killua thinks that nothing is even happening. Then he hears talking on the road. He can’t make out what they’re saying, but they don’t sound like they’re onto them hiding. By now, they’re close enough to the New Don’s estate that letting on to their arrival could get back to the security. Hiding is much easier than trying to explain what they’re doing. They could always fight, but that might get messy. Killua considers all of this to stop himself from thinking about the heat of Gon’s skin.
Once they pass, Gon doesn’t let go of Killua. He pulls back slightly so that they’re nose to nose.
“Sorry,” he whispers breathily. “You looked kinda spaced out back there and I... I was going to…” Gon blinks dumbly at Killua and has that look on his face like he just forgot everything shy of his own name. It’s not necessarily an uncommon look for him, but the proximity of Gon’s slight pout and wide doe eyes changes everything. Instinctively, Killua lets his own lips part slightly in a soft exhale.
“You were going to?” Killua whispers back before he can stop himself. It’s intoxicating to have Gon’s attention so intently focused on him, and even more so to have Gon so close. With his hand clutching the fabric of the back of Killua’s t-shirt, with his thighs pressed against Killua’s for balance, with the skin on his hand burning where it touches Gon’s bare arm. All of it makes it impossible to think.
“Killua,” Gon says Killua’s name like he always does, and Killua’s chest tightens in response. Like it always does. Has he moved closer to Gon’s face, just a little? It felt like he might of from the way Gon’s warm breath mixed with his own. Still too far, he’s thinking, when-
Then Gon’s falling flat backwards onto his ass, sending Killua sprawling with him. Gon’s head makes a resounding thud against the ground and he lets out a surprised grunt at the force. Killua falls straight forward onto Gon’s chest, the branches craping his legs and face on the way down.
“Ow,” he says lamely.
“S-stupid!” Killua mumbles, pushing himself up quickly from the compromising position.
“Killua, your face,” Gon says, concern flooding his features. He sits him quickly and reaches his hand out to cup Killua’s face, but he shoots back like he’s been burned. After nearly kissing Gon Freecss in a bush, he does not trust himself enough to let Gon gingerly touch his cheek.
Gon, however, has other ideas. He frowns at Killua and then pushes himself up into a sitting position.
“Let me look!” He insists stubbornly.
“No!”
In a split second, he has a Gon shaped weight holding him onto his back on the ground. Holy shit. Immediately Killua starts trying to wiggle out of his hold. Gon looks down at him like he’s about ready to punch him.
“I said let me look, Killua! You have a scratch!”
“So you decided to squash me like a bug, is that it?” Killua hollers indignantly. I do not enjoy this, I do not enjoy this, I do not enjoy this. Well, Killua lies to everyone, himself included.
“No! I just want to make sure it’s not too deep!” Then Gon shoves his face right up against Killua’s again, and he swears his heart stops. He doesn’t move at all while Gon inspects his bloody cheek; his brain and body freeze. Just as quickly as he’s there, Gon is off him again, sitting back on his heels.
“Don’t worry, Killua! It’s just a scratch!” Gon beams at him.
It’s nothing new, really, the way that Gon is looking at Killua. The knot in his chest twists tighter at the sight of it anyway.
“I knew that already, idiot,” Killua says, sitting up hesitantly.
“Well now those people are gone, we can get going again! If we run we could make up some time.”
“Yeah, okay,” Killua agrees, getting up. He dusts off his shorts and stretches his legs out experimentally. “Want to race?”
Gon quirks his eyebrow. “Are you going to cheat?”
“Using Godspeed isn’t cheating!”
“It so is!”
“Whatever! Fine, not like I even need to.” Killua taunts with a menacing grin. He has some steam to blow off after that encounter, anyways. He takes off and hears Gon laughing behind him as they speed off in the direction of the New Don.
It’s another thing Killua misses when he’s not with Gon. Having someone who keeps up with him no matter what. He pumps his legs as fast as they’ll go, because Gon has already almost caught up to him.
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They make it to the wall with time to spare after running the whole way. It’s dark by the time they make it, just as they planned. They’ll have all night to climb the wall and find somewhere to wait by the entrance. Shipments start coming in the early hours of the morning, before first light, so they should be able to find cover and wait for Kurapika and Leorio there.
By Gon’s account, Killua beat him by just a hair.
“Do I have to do a punishment?” He groans after Killua tells him as much.
Killua’s face breaks into a wicked grin. “Yeah, carry me up the wall.”
“Okay,” Gon agrees, crouching and motioning for Killua to get on his back.
“I wasn’t serious, stupid!” Killua tells him, cuffing the back of his head. “I can obviously scale the wall by myself. Probably faster than you.”
“I know you could! But if it’s between that or a thousand push-ups, that will take less time!”
“You’re not seriously going to carry me all the way up there.”
“Yes huh! Climb on,” Gon instructs, kneeling down with his back facing Killua again.
It takes a seconds before Killua finally does. Gon hoists him up a little to get into a more comfortable position before turning back to face the wall.
“If you drop me, you have to do ten thousand push-ups.”
“I won’t drop Killua!” Gon sing-songs while he starts to climb. He’s not sure how long it will take to get up; he can’t see the top in the dark. It’s a fairly clear night, though, so he he’s able to see well enough to climb with ease.
It doesn’t take long for Gon to get the hang of the climbing. The wall is massive, of course, but he finds a comfortable pace fairly quickly and makes good time. Gon concentrates on his task for a couple hours into the night before Killua finally breaks the silence that settled over them.
“Why do you do it?” He asks quietly, his voice ruffling Gon’s hair against a ticklish spot on his neck that makes him shiver.
“Do what?”
“Go after the New Dons.”
“I told you already! To make sure they don’t cause any trouble!”
Killua scoffs. “That’s a dumb reason.”
“Is not!”
“It is,” Killua insists, pinching Gon’s shoulder for good measure. “There’s plenty of people causing trouble all the time.” Gon huffs at him but considers Killua’s logic.
He continues to focus on the climb, which makes it easier for the words to tumble out before he can stop them. “I don’t want to have to save the world again.”
Killua pauses. “Yeah, that sort of sucked ass.”
Gon’s still thinking about it about 10 minutes later when he reaches out with his hand and swipes through air. He looks up, startled, to find that they’re at the ledge of the wall. Killua vaults himself from Gon’s back onto the ledge, which is about 5 feet wide, and looks over the other edge. Gon climbs the rest of the way over himself and does the same. From what he can see, there’s no one watching the top of the wall. They can’t actually see the ground on the other side, but in the distance they can tell there’s lights lit in buildings at the base. Gon tilts his head up out of curiosity and lets out a low gasp.
“The sky, Killua!” Gon opens his arms wide, welcoming the cool night and the expansive brightness of the stars overhead. It’s an especially clear night, as Gon had thought while scaling the wall, but he hadn’t actually thought to look up and enjoy it. Killua shoves his hands in his pockets and comes over to stand next to Gon, his head also pointed up at the sky.
“The stars always remind me of you,” Gon says softly. Gon expects Killua to protest, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t even move, aside from the wind the blows and ruffles his hair across his face and neck. “You glow even when it’s dark. When it’s dark it’s easy to get lost without them. That’s like you, Killua.” He wants to say more, but his throat constricts unexpectedly, and he just exhales instead.
Killua looks over at Gon. There’s a look on his face that Gon can’t even begin to understand; it looks sad and hopeful at the same time. Because Gon has never had someone look at him and be afraid to lose him, he can’t know what it means, so he just gives Killua a soft smile in return.
“I spend too much time missing you, but I know you’re still there, somewhere. That’s like the stars too.” Gon says the last bit quietly, like a secret. Maybe it is one.
Heaviness settles over them and Killua stays quiet, so Gon points out some of the constellations he knows. Killua just keeps his head tilted up at the stars, an amazed and bewildered look on his face, until it’s been long enough that they have to start back down the other side of the wall.
They find that it takes them significantly less time to scale down the wall, this time side by side. When they plop down with both feet on the ground, the sun is just starting to break over the horizon. Gon and Killua run quickly along the side of the wall near the landscaping to avoid being seen and to find the main entrance. If they can’t find Kurapika, Leorio, and Kite there, they’ll have to go on without them to find the New Don.
Gon wants to ask Killua what he thinks happened to them. They should have been inside and making contact with them by now, given that Killua and Gon are later than they planned. The other party would have, in theory, had plenty of time to get inside and make their way to where they were planning to scale the wall. They had made that plan in case they encountered any hiccups; granted, they probably didn’t expect the hiccups in question to be Gon carrying Killua up the wall on a bet. Either way.
He only keeps his mouth shut in fear someone will here them or sense them, especially since Gon can’t conceal his presence. One look at Killua’s pinched face tells him that his friend is thinking the same thing he is, though.
They make it to the entrance soon enough, both stopping a safe distance away and ducking into the bushes. The gates are closed with guards on either side of the massive wooden door. Killua curses quietly next to him. The streams of sunlight have turned into full-blown morning at this point, meaning the shipments are probably already done. Gon inspects the surroundings, which are similar to the layout they originally planned from. The main building is large, with the most guards and a courtyard like structure framing a garden area. The rest of the walled off area is mostly shops, houses, small plots of crops, and a few maintenance buildings. There are less guards farther away from the main building, so they’ll be safer, but they all agreed that’s most likely where the New Don will be.
“How long should we wait?” Gon whispers.
“Let’s give it an hour,” Killua reasons. “They should have already met us, so we can’t spare more time than that.”
They wait. Not much happens, and the gates don’t open again. Once more people start coming out of their houses, Gon and Killua silently agree to slip back away from the busier part of the territory. It takes them another half and hour to get back to where they started; then they wait for an opening with no one around and emerge from the underbrush.
“We’re on our own, then,” Killua says with a sigh.
“I think we’ll probably have to get out over the wall again,” Gon tells him as they approach an area where some of the shops are starting to open. They approach the vendors and Gon starts picking through the fruit and foods he sees, his stomach starting to remind him he hasn’t eaten since yesterday. He turns back to Killua.
“Can we make breakfast?” He sticks his lip out in a ‘pretty please’ pout. He’s not even sure why he always gives their shared money to Killua in the first place, given he’s never been the best at actually holding it.
“Yes,” Killua agrees eagerly, picking up some items he sees as well. They make their way through the set up and end up with a basket of fruit, bread with spread, chocolate cookies, and various other treats that Killua came back with.
They find an area with nice grass out of the way by a small fountain and set out their finds. Without speaking, they start inhaling everything they can get their hands on.
“The cookies are mine!”
“You could share, you know,” Gon scolds, sticking his tongue out. Killua lunges out to grab the bag, so Gon jumps over to him to attempt to wrestle it away.
“Just one!”
“You don’t even like sweets!”
“Stop being stingy!” Gon tears the package enough to grab one of the cookies, and at that exact moment he’s no longer looking down at Killua but instead up at the sky. He blinks in surprise and it only takes an instant for Killua to catch his hands and swipe the cookie back, placing it into his mouth.
Gon doesn’t say anything. It takes the steam engine running his brain what feels like an eternity to process the feeling of Killua’s weight resting against his hips, with Killua’s hands holding his own. Killua crunches happily on the crinkle cookie and doesn’t even seem to register the reason Gon doesn’t immediately launch a counterattack. Only after he swallows does Killua look down and take in the situation. Gon can see the exact moment that Killua realizes how they’re sitting, because his face flushes instantly. Gon looks away to the side at their conjoined hands. Gon strokes his thumb experimentally over Killua’s, enjoying the way his aura feels the slightest bit tingly. Or maybe that’s just how it feels to touch someone you love. Gon decides he likes the idea that it’s just Killua.
Killua drops Gon’s hand and studies his fingers. “Do you ever look at your hand and expect to see the Greed Island ring there?” Killua asks thoughtfully.
Gon picks his own hand up and holds it in front of his face. “Yeah, actually.”
“Sometimes I try to fidget with it and when it’s not there I panic for a second thinking I lost it.”
Gon lets out a laugh. “Book!” He says dramatically, still holding his hand up, which makes Killua chuckle too.
“We should get new ones!” Gon suggests enthusiastically. “New matching rings!”
“What?”
“Isn’t that a good idea, Killua?”
Killua lays back down flat on his back and covers his face with one of his arms. “I can’t even believe you sometimes.”
Gon just grins and flops himself out next to Killua. He glances over at Killua’s hand laying at his side and thinks about how easy it would be to reach out a grab it again. Even Gon’s not dumb enough not to realize that now grabbing Killua’s hand would give the gesture an entirely different meaning. His fingers twitch at his sides, but he leaves them there.
“Oi, look!” A voice calls out behind them, causing them both to sit up. “A coupla youngsters!”
A man who looks to be in his early 30’s jogs over to them. He’s dressed in work clothes and sending a friendly smile their way. Gon and Killua stand up from their spot in the grass and turn to face him.
“Just act like we’re supposed to be here,” Killua whispers low enough for only Gon to hear. Killua shifts closer to Gon subtly, so their sides are almost pressed together. Gon finds Killua’s hand and squeezes, just slightly, because he doesn’t want to say anything suspicious. Not because he wants to hold Killua’s hand again, definitely not. Then he releases him and raises his arm up.
“Hey there, Mister!” Gon calls out, waving, sending the smile right back.
The man makes it over to them and extends his hand immediately. “You lost, boys? Don’t see a lot of kiddos around here, really. I’m Mr. Chambers, the gardener! You remind me of my nephew, cute little guy.”
“We aren’t kids,” Killua scoffs. Gon just widens his smile and takes the man’s hand, shaking it vigorously.
“Nice to meet you! I’m Gon and this is Killua. We are a little lost, actually!”
“We’re here to see someone, but we don’t know where to find them.” Killua adds helpfully.
“Really?” Mr. Chambers says brightly. “I can help you find whoever it is!”
Gon can see Killua eyeing him, but he charges forward anyway. “That’d be great!” He assumes that Killua must be thinking the same thing as him if he’s staying quiet. Trying to shake this guy might arouse suspicion.
“Would you know anything about shipments, Mr. Chambers?” Gon asks.
Mr. Chambers considers this. “I might! My buddy works as a driver, so if you tell me what you’re looking for, I might now if it came in.”
“Were there any shipments of spider silk?”
“I don’t believe I’ve ever even heard of that, sonny!” The man laughs. “But then again, I don’t have the same taste for items as the Don.”
“Oh?” Killua interjects. Gon can tell he’s made his voice indifferent on purpose to hide his interest in the mention of the Don. Gon assumes if word of the silk hasn’t gotten around, Kurapika and Leorio must really not have been able to make it inside. Killua already said as much, but the confirmation still makes Gon feel more on edge.
“Yeah, the Don, you guys know him?”
“We’re hoping to see him, actually,” Killua says nonchalantly. “While we’re here.”
“He’s a real piece of work, don’t you think?” Mr. Chambers says this like he’s talking to any other employee, conversationally, but Gon says nothing.
“Surely you guys have thoughts about the guy!” Mr. Chambers continues. “Tell me what you think, I’d love to hear it.”
“Uh, we wouldn’t really be able to say, Mister,” Gon tries, sensing he should watch his words.
“Know much about him, do you?” Killua says skeptically.
“And what’s that to you?” Mr. Chambers’ tone is still upbeat, but the air around the conversation has shifted. “I’m just asking, after all! Maybe you like the guy for all I know. Maybe he’s waiting for you right now like you’re old pals. Or maybe,” his voice drops, “he has no idea who you are. Who’s to say!”
“We’re here to see the New Don.” Killua says again, more ominously this time. “That’s all.”
“Oh, yeah?” Mr. Chambers lets out a high-pitched laugh. “Funny, I thought he was busy today.”
“And I thought you were a gardener,” Killua shoots back.
“Ignore him,” Gon laughs. “We just have some things we were sent to find out.” Killua nudges him hard in the side. Should he not have said that?
“I see,” the man stops short, his demeanor changing instantly. His back straightens and Gon doesn’t need to have Nen to sense the atmosphere has changed.
“Mr. Chambers?” Gon says tentatively. Gon’s eyes flit to Killua, whose face is blown wide in realization.
“You’re the New Don,” Killua accuses.
“So that’s your game then, Hunter.”
“Gon, get back!” Gon reacts quickly, but not faster than Killua, who jumps in front of the Nen attack before it can reach Gon.
“Stay behind me!” Killua orders frantically, finding his footing and fending off another Nen attack.
Gon ignores him as guards on the side of the closest building start to run over to them. Gon runs out to meet them before than can get to Killua, but it must put him in line for another attack, because Killua screams in frustration and shifts again.
“Let me protect you!” Killua sounds angry now, but Gon positions himself between the guards and his friend anyway. The guards get to them quickly, but Gon can tell they don’t have Nen either, so he stands his ground. The guard hits him first, quicker than he expected, but he blocks it easily and moves to counter.
“Gon!” Killua says again, spinning to see him at the sound of his grunt. At this, the New Don reaches out his hands again.
Gon reaches out and shoves Killua to the side before the attack can land, and then he turns back to catch a punch from a second guard who’s made it over to them.
They exchange blows for a few rounds, Gon pushing the fight farther away from the New Don and Killua in case one of the guards gets past him.
“Stop moving away!” Killua grunts, falling back closer to them.
“No,” Gon yells back after catching the guard’s foot and sending him swinging away.
“Don’t be so difficult!” Killua shouts. He gasps loudly like he took a hit, so Gon spins around to check that he’s on his feet. He swings back around ready for a kick after seeing Killua already forming a counterattack and is met with a swift punch on his cheek bone.
“What’s your excuse? I worry about you too, you know!” A punch lands on Gon’s stomach, but he recovers quickly and lands a hit on the guard.
“What? You worry about me?” Killua calls back, putting extra vigor into his zap of lightning directed at the New Don. The New Don counters it and hold up his hand in a stop motion. Briefly, Killua stills.
“Of course! I care about you a lot!” Gon’s two punches land swiftly on wither side of the guard’s shoulders and he stumbles back.
“What?”
“Hold up a second.” Gon hopes Killua is using Gyo to see what the New Don is trying to pull now. As he’s distracted, the second guard gets a firm kick in on his ribcage.
“I said hold up a second, Bee!” He scolds the guard. She looks just as shocked as Gon and Killua but retreats enough that Gon lowers his fists and swivels his head to view the New Don.
“You,” he says, pointing at Gon, “have been making eyes at this one since I found you, literally like a lovesick puppy, and you,” he turns to point at Killua now, “didn’t know he cares about you? Are you kidding me?”
Killua, for the first time in a long time in a fight, looks frozen. Gon’s cheeks heat up at the realization the New Don just outed him to his best friend after knowing him for about 30 minutes.
“You’re even worse!” He says to Gon again, throwing his hands up in the air. “This boy just tried to cover your ass and fight a Don for you, and you can’t tell he’s in love with you?!” The New Don is shouting, his face scrunched in exasperated confusion.
“We won’t fall for your tricks,” Gon says skeptically, raising his arms again. If these people think Killua is in love with him, they clearly are just trying to mess with him. He turns and looks at Killua again, who’s staring at Gon, ironically, like he’s just been struck with lightning.
This gives Gon pause. “Right, Killua?”
“I literally can’t take this,” the New Don says dramatically. “Bee, Trip, you could tell too, couldn’t you?”
The second guard, Bee, is helping the other one to his feet, but they both nod weakly at their boss.
“You let me land a punch every time you think the white haired one is in trouble.”
The injured one lets out a pathetic cough. “You were holding hands and having a picnic earlier. Are we really having this conversation?”
“See!”
“What is happening right now,” Gon breathes, looking at Killua again for help.
“And all that dramatic over the top, ‘let me protect you’ stuff? Who are you two even kidding? The Hunters could at least send competent children to take me out if they’re that worried.”
“We aren’t here to take you out,” Gon says weakly, because it’s all of that sentence he has the brain capacity to process. “We just came to assess if you were a threat or not.”
“Well, am I?”
“You attacked us!”
“And you broke into my home.”
“He’s got a point,” Bee interjects.
“Geez,” Gon says, his head spinning. Normally Kurapika does most of the talking, which is probably better for them because right now the New Don is making a lot of sense. He wishes for the umpteenth time that they had been able to make it inside the complex.
“I’m not causing any trouble,” the New Don says to them.
“Yeah right, you’ve shell shocked that poor kid into oblivion!” Trip says, gesturing over towards Killua. Gon backs away from the two guards to edge his way between the New Don and Killua, who definitely doesn’t look ready to fight again yet.
“I’m a trained assassin,” Killua finally says in response, looking straight ahead, eyes still unfocused and wide.
“An assassin with a cute little crush!”
“Just give us some time to make sure, and we’ll be on our way.” Gon interrupts, choosing not to think about how red Killua’s face got at Bee’s comment.
“Fine, then the Hunters will stop their snooping?”
Gon blinks. He had just been buying time, fully expecting to be turned down. “Yeah, I guess.” Gon shoots a glance over his shoulder at Killua, who just stares back at him with his mouth forming a small ‘o’. So cute, Gon’s brain supplies. He shakes his head. Focus.
“Alrighty then!” The New Don says cheerfully, regressing from his fighting stance into his more relaxed demeanor from before. “We can always pick this up later if we need to. Follow me, Hunters!”
Gon and Killua trail behind the New Don with the guards bringing up the rear. They travel around the building for most of the day and observe the New Don’s various business. Honestly, Gon thinks it seems more like an outdated feudal system than anything criminal.
“Anything else you need to see?” The New Don says to them a few hours later. Killua has been uncharacteristically quiet, so Gon just nods his approval.
“We’ll need a phone or something to contact our friends and let them know we’re okay.”
“Of course, Trip can get you one. You’re also welcome to stay in the main house tonight. You know, so you don’t have to scale the walls in the dark again.” He raises his eyebrows at Gon and Killua.
Gon rubs the back of his neck and laughs nervously. “Yeah, sorry about that again!”
“Bee can show you to one of our empty rooms. If you need anything just let someone know, and tomorrow you can go tell your Hunter friends that everything here is spick and spam.”
“We’ll be back if it’s not,” Killua adds grumpily.
The New Don gives him a pointed look. “Don’t be angry with me, kid!” He gives him a mischievous smile that causes Gon to shift on his feet.
“It’s obvious you two need to sort out some feelings. Just don’t be too loud about it while you’re staying with me.”
Gon tilts his head to the side in confusion. “I wouldn’t yell at Killua.”
The New Don bursts out laughing as Killua lets out an annoyed groan. “That is so not what this geezer meant.”
“What?”
“Shut up, Gon.”
“Your room is down the hallway by the main office,” the New Don says between laughs. “Get off my property first thing in the morning.”
He leaves them alone in the hallway for the first time since finding him in the courtyard. Gon reaches out to grab Killua’s hand to lead him to the office, but he snatches it back.
“I can follow you on my own,” he pouts gruffly.
Gon just smiles back at him. “You seem more like yourself!”
“Yeah, well, I don’t like that guy,” Killua says, his face still scrunched in a frown. He scratches the back of his neck, looking off to the side awkwardly. “And, uh, don’t listen to what he said.”
Gon tilts his head in a question. “When he said Killua loved me?”
“G-Gon!” Killua explodes.
“It’s okay, Killua! I didn’t think that part was true,” Gon backtracks, waving his hands in the air. “They just got carried away.”
Killua stops, and Gon turns back to face him. “What do you mean by ‘that part’?” Killua hisses.
“Well, what he said about me was true, obviously,” Gon says, putting one hand on his hip and using the other to point at himself.
Killua looks mortified. “What part of that was supposed to be obvious, Gon?” He nearly yells, his eyes bugging out of his head. “That you-you’re,” he trails off without finishing, a blush creeping back onto his face.
Given his confession, Gon decides it’s probably alright to say the following to Killua. “You look so cute when your face looks like that!” He smiles broadly as Killua’s blush creeps all the way to the tips of his ears.
If it were even possible, Killua’s face contorts even further into disbelief. “Gon! I’m an assassin! I’m not cute!”
“You’re just Killua, Killua!” Gon challenges, sticking out his tongue.
“That doesn’t even mean anything!”
“It does to me!” Gon shouts, matching Killua’s volume.
Killua’s face softens at that, if only slightly.
“But anyway,” Gon starts, turning to walk towards the room again. “It’s okay, Killua. I won’t listen to what they said.” Something tugs at his heart while he says it, but it’s easy to ignore. Nothing could change the way he feels about Killua, and nothing can stop them from being best friends. Even if Killua doesn’t love him like that. The feeling settles in his chest again, the one that reminds him of Whale Island. It’s almost like missing something that you can’t have even if you’re happy with what’s in front of you.
A cold hand wraps itself around Gon’s wrist. He turns in surprise and cocks his head to the side. “Killua?” He asks after what feels like a long time.
“Maybe what that idiot said wasn’t all that wrong,” Killua grumbles, so low that Gon barely hears him.
“What?” Gon says, because he’s sure that he misunderstood.
Killua turns his face up from the floor to stare defiantly at Gon. His face is pinched like he’s about to tell Gon he’s lost a bet and gambled away all their money again. “I said it’s true, or whatever.”
“What?” Gon yells, this time, his face splitting into a grin so big it almost hurts. Something soft flutters in his chest up his throat, like his whole abdomen might explode. He feels like he must be shaking from trying to contain the sensation.
“Don’t make me say it again!” Killua snaps, but there’s no bite, just breathy nervousness.
“You didn’t even really say it a first time!” Gon can’t help it, he laughs.
“Neither did you,” Killua says pointedly, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Oh!” Gon’s eyes widen in realization. He opens his arms out wide and sucks in a breath before loudly declaring, “I love you, Killua! Like, I love love you, and I’m so happy to be with you!”
“Gon, what the hell,” Killua sputters, his face reddening again. “You can’t just yell that stuff!”
“You told me to!” Gon reminds him, still speaking louder than the tight hallways warrants. He notices for the first time that he’s talking loud enough for his voice to echo down the empty space. He starts to laugh at the mortified look on Killua’s face, realizing he probably overdid it. “Sorry Killua!” He stutters out between giggles, “it was just important to tell you!”
His laughter dies in his throat as he’s pulled forward into Killua’s chest.
“Killua?” Gon manages to choke out in surprise.
He can’t remember them hugging like this, even when they were kids, and everything was easier. Even though he’s not used to it, Gon immediately responds by wrapping his arms tightly around Killua’s midsection, smushing his face into the center of Killua’s chest. Killua buries his face down into the crook of Gon’s shoulder, leaning more of his weight into the hug. There’s something familiar about it, like they were meant to be together like this from the start. Gon can’t help but smile at the thought and the fact that all he can smell is Killua, Killua, Killua.
“I just… I just love you a lot, Gon.” Killua’s voice sounds so uncharacteristically unguarded that Gon’s body fills with the emotion of it. His chest feels so warm and his heart swoops painfully in his chest, but in a good way. He’s overwhelmed by the intensity of being loved back by the best person he’s ever known. There aren’t any words in his brain to form a proper response; all his senses can process are how much it feels like being home to hold Killua.
If Gon had it his way they would stay like that forever, so he waits until Killua pulls away first.
“We should do that more!” He beams.
“Yeah, okay,” Killua says softly before sticking his hands back into his pockets and turning to continue down the hallway. Gon’s so used to being reprimanded for saying cheesy things that he stands there in shock until Killua turns back to give him a questioning look.
A smile creeps it’s way onto Gon’s face and he just hollers back, “okay!”
Then Gon practically skips his way to their room, checking over his shoulder every few paces to make sure Killua is still following him, which makes Killua roll his eyes. They reach the end of the hallway and Gon throws the door open. Killua follows his into the room and Gon hears his bag hit the floor behind him. Gon makes his way around the small space, inspecting the different cupboards and drawers before turning back to face Killua.
“Oh look, there’s only one bed!” Gon yells, too loudly again, into the space in the room.
Killua stares at him like he’s grown another head. “Are you stupid? There’s two.” He points for good measure.
Gon smiles. “Only one bed, Killua!”
“What are you talking about?” Killua seethes. He walks over to the beds, kicking the railing for good measure. His eyes are wide like he thinks Gon is seriously losing it. He gestures wildly between both beds.
Without saying a word, Gon appears at his side. The two twin beds are set against the far wall, both made neatly. He reaches down and pushes the bed closest to him along the floor. It’s easy enough to do, but the bed makes an obnoxious screeching sound the entire way against the stone floor. He stops only when the two beds are as close together as possible.
He turns around, puts his hands on his hips, and smiles even wider. “One bed!”
Killua groans, balling his fists at his side.
Gon gets his way, of course. They change into the extra clothes they have in their bag after getting off the phone with a very worried Kurapika and Kite. Killua explains the details to him and Leorio, pointedly not giving the phone to Gon even when he asks.
“You’re going to say too much, idiot.” Too much about what, exactly, goes straight over Gon’s head.
In the end Killua tells them to meet back at their designated spot the next day, and that they’re fine for the night. Then, when there’s nothing left but to crawl into the bed, Killua finally settles next to Gon. Gon turns his head to look over at Killua, who stares hard at the ceiling.
“We sleep together all the time, Killua.”
Killua chokes on his own spit and starts to cough.
“We do not,” he insists.
“We used to!”
“We aren’t twelve anymore, Gon,” Killua says testily, his face tinged with red.
Gon snaps his mouth shut. Killua’s comment confuses Gon because he knows they aren’t kids anymore. He doesn’t want things to be the same as when they were twelve, but some things he also doesn’t want to change.
He can’t help himself, so he asks, “will it be different now?” He’s almost afraid of the answer, but he has to know.
“Probably,” Killua responds.
Gon’s heart flips uneasily in his chest.
“But not bad different,” Killua continues, his words softer than before. Like a peace offering, Killua repositions himself closer to Gon under the covers, facing him instead of the ceiling.
“A good kind of different,” Gon rephrases, finding his bearings again. “Like, the best parts but better.” He looks at Killua for confirmation, but Killua is just glaring at him with a blush on his cheeks and thinly veiled affection in his eyes.
“Yeah,” he says gruffly, like it pains him to agree with Gon. Gon takes his victory anyway and squirms slightly closer to Killua until they’re almost touching.
They stay that way for a while. The room is dark, but Gon’s eyes have adjusted and he can see Killua well enough to see that he’s not asleep yet either. Still, they don’t say anything. Gon starts to wonder if he imagined it and Killua really is asleep.
“What are you going to do now, Gon?” Killua asks, so quietly Gon wouldn’t have heard him if he wasn’t already so close to his face.
“This is the last New Don mission. Where will you go next?” Killua continues. His eyes are closed, but his fingers twist further into the fabric of the sheets around them.
“I don’t know,” Gon answers truthfully. “What will Killua do?”
Killua’s eyes snap open. “What?”
“You always come with me on missions. Maybe I should go with you for something.” Gon thinks aloud. He’s never considered following anyone anywhere, but he would for Killua.
“You would come with me? Where I want to go?” Killua whispers hesitantly, like he’s afraid Gon will change his mind.
“I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it,” Gon replies seriously, tightening his grip on Killua’s midsection. “So, where would we go?”
“First I need to go back to Heavens Arena and check on Alluka for a while. But after that…” Killua trails off. “We could go anywhere.” Killua draws out the word ‘we’ like he’s testing out the feel of it.
“Okay.”
“Just ‘okay’? You’re way too stubborn to just do something you don’t want to do.” Killua scoffs, his eyebrows furrowing in disbelief.
“Maybe what I want is to be with you.” Gon stares back at him defiantly, like his determination alone could convince Killua.
Killua doesn’t say anything for a while. He holds Gon’s gaze, his expression unreadable. Then he reaches his hand out and brushes it softly against Gon’s neck. Gon can feel his eyes widening as he sucks in a breath at the contact. Killua presses his hands lightly against the vein there, and Gon can feel the steady thump in response to the pressure. Killua closes his eyes again, letting out a low breath. Before Gon can ask Killua what he’s doing, Killua starts to trace his fingers down to Gon’s shoulder, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind.
“You have freckles on your shoulders,” Killua whispers into the darkness.
“From the sun,” Gon responds mindlessly, his breath all but caught in his throat.
“No.” Killua moves his hand to be flat on Gon’s back and uses his strength to pull them closer together until Gon’s chest is flush against Killua’s. Killua notches his head into the crook where Gon’s neck meets his shoulder, and Gon can feel his breath in small whisps against the sensitive skin there. Killua’s hands move to the center of Gon’s back and grasp into the fabric of his shirt. Instinctively Gon places his head on top of Killua’s and wraps his arms around his frame.
Gon knows that Killua is strong; he’s the strongest person he’s ever met. Since they were little, Gon’s heard what people say about Killua Zoldyck. That he’s barely human, that the Zoldyck family is a horrific myth, that they’ll only ever be killers. But here, Gon can wrap his arms around Killua and feel the softness of his skin, he can feel the bones in his spine, and he can feel Killua’s chest moving as he breathes. He can feel all the things that make Killua alive. His heart reminds him of the way Killua protects his friends, how he smiles and laughs more freely now, and how he’s learned to love but not to take a compliment. He knows that all these things that make Killua alive and human also make him fragile. Gon tightens his grip.
It’s reassuring, being able to hold Killua while they sleep. He can’t even remember how long he’s wanted to reach out and feel Killua’s skin on his while they laid next to each other at night. Something about touching makes it all feel different; but like they said, not a bad kind of different. It’s the kind of change that makes Gon’s chest fill with warmth at the prospect of the future. Gon feels himself drifting off to sleep, eventually, so he’s not sure if it’s real of a dream when he hears Killua’s voice.
“Not even the sun could touch you.”
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Killua wakes up with warm breath on his face. He immediately wrinkles his nose and tries to roll over, only to realize he’s very much stuck. He opens his eyes slowly as the memories from last night rushing back all at once.
“Are we boyfriends, Killua?”
Killua jumps so suddenly at the question he probably would fall out of bed if Gon weren’t perched on top of him.
“I want to be.” Gon says thoughtfully, clearly oblivious to the fact Killua is only part way awake and ready to punch him unconscious again if he keeps disturbing him. It’s only just barely light outside, for godssakes. His heart isn’t fluttering at the thought of it, not even a little.
“I guess,” he grumbles in response, doing his best to sound annoyed.
Gon hums. “Does that mean we can kiss?”
“What-what the hell!” If Killua wasn’t awake before, he is now. He squirms frantically out from under a pouting Gon.
Killua just stares. Gon’s not even flustered by asking something like that, he’s clearly just curious what Killua thinks. It’s a bad idea, though, to stare at Gon. Partly because Gon stares back at him. His eyes have that focused look, like he won’t stop until he gets his way. Only this time, Killua knows what Gon wants is him. It makes his heart turn traitorously warm in his chest. Gon moves to prop himself up in a half sitting position so that he’s facing Killua straight on. His hair is pushed up even stranger than normal, some of it falling into his face from where he’s slept on it. His eyebrows are knitted together, and his lips are pushed out just slightly in his expression. And then, of course, there’s the fact that Killua feels the chill of the morning without Gon stuck to his side. He vaguely realizes that it’s happening again; he’s moving closer to Gon’s face.
Damn him, putting these ideas of kissing into my head. Then his mouth is on Gon’s. Gon immediately pushes back against him, opening his mouth just slightly. He’s a little too overzealous and his lips are slightly chapped, but Killua melts into the kiss anyway. He sinks back closer to Gon, chasing his warmth. Killua wonders how it was ever possible for him not to want to be this close to Gon. Killua pulls away first, breathless. Gon chases him instantly planting a kiss on his mouth and then, when Killua ducks away, a sloppy kiss on his nose accidentally.
“Gross.” Killua does not think it’s gross.
Gon lets out a short laugh. “Sorry, Killua.” His voice comes out low and airy.
“You’re not.”
Gon smiles sheepishly. “I’m not,” he confirms.
“Our first kiss didn’t have to be with morning breath, you know,” Killua grumbles, throwing his arm over his face to hide the soft smile forming on his lips.
He moves his arm to peek out at Gon, and the small window in the room illuminates the sunrise as the rays filter in through the window. Gon tilts his head to look out at it for a moment, and the light catches his hazel eyes in the way that makes them look golden.
Gon’s gaze shifts back to Killua. “I love you, Killua.”
Killua’s heart reminds him that he can physically not handle the amount of adoration he feels for the green-haired idiot in front of him. “You-You can’t just say it all the time like that!” Killua groans.
“Why not?” Gon questions, cocking his head to the side. “I don’t ever want to stop telling you now. So you know for sure.”
Killua bristles but before he has time for a rebuttal Gon reaches up to card his hands through Killua’s hair.
“So soft,” he says happily.
“You’ll mess it up!” Killua protests weakly, even as he leans farther against Gon unconsciously.
“You already have bed head, silly,” Gon chides. He hums something incomprehensible and continues to move his hands gently through Killua’s tangled hair.
“What do you think everyone will say when we tell them?” Gon asks excitedly.
Killua scratches his face and considers this. He clears his throat and in his best Kurapika impersonation he says, “that’s nice. I have to go now, someone’s cousin’s sister’s aunt saw Chrollo in Yorknew.”
Gon bursts into laughter, his chest shaking wildly under Killua’s weight.
Killua contorts his face into something that hopefully looks like Leorio and wails, “we’re all suppose to be eligible bachelors!” Gon laughs even harder, wheezing a little as air escapes his lungs.
Killua immediately makes his face unreadable and pitches his voice up like Kite’s. “How was the mission?” He deadpans. Then he cracks a smile at the sound of Gon’s loud laughter, watching as he throws his head back and loses himself in the effort of it. It takes him a minute to stop his giggling and take a proper breath, so Killua takes the chance to escape out of bed and pull on his clothes for the day.
“Killua!” Gon protests.
“Gramps told us to get out of here and I can’t say I want to stay.” I want to get to Heaven’s Arena to spend time with you and Alluka.
“Fine,” Gon pouts, rolling dramatically onto the floor.
True to their word, they’re on the road before the New Don catches sight of them, even with Gon giving them a late start. Killua’s glad for it; he doesn’t need the man to smell a love confession on him and send him into the next life with his taunts. He frowns at the ground thinking about it.
“Traveling with Killua!” Gon sings out beside him, entirely too happy to be on the road at this hour of the morning. He snaps his fingers and makes a face like he’s just gotten an idea. “Should we race again?”
Killua raises an eyebrow. “What do I get if I win?”
Gon furrows his brow and considers it. “What do you want?”
“The chocolates from Heaven’s Arena, of course.”
“Deal.”
And then Gon smiles at Killua. He smiles in that way that makes Killua forget they ever had reasons not to smile. The kind of smile that, if only for as long as it stays on Gon’s face, there’s no darkness in Killua’s heart. And, gods help him, Killua smiles back. And when he takes off running, he doesn’t have to turn back to know Gon is right at his heels.