Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

They deserved it.

There it was. No matter what he did, the voice always came back. The moment he was alone, it would whisper into his ear. Sometimes it would mock him while other times it will tempt him. Even now, standing among the ruins of the Buried Stars stage, it was whispering. There was no end to the constant whispers echoing throughout his mind. Was he even sane to begin with? He often wondered about it.

Your secret is now safe. Locked up nice and tight.

It was.

Murderer.

He was. He killed others, using the second chance he was given.

He must never know. There is no forgiveness for you.

He held his breath as his eyes landed on the one person, the one he wanted to give himself to. Said person who tilted his head back towards the lights above, tearing running down his cheeks. Do-yoon, who saved him from being crushed to death. The one who tried to save everyone and keep them sane. The one he betrayed.

Keep him close. Keep him blind towards the truth. Make him yours.

He let out a shudder as he could hear the rescuers making their way down towards them. Do-yoon could never know. As much as he hated the voice, he knew it was right. Already he had figured out that something was off with the killings. What if he found out and tries to expose it? Did he even wanted to be caught? Or did he wanted to be accepted? Would Do-yoon even listen to his side of the story?

What side? You killed her as revenge. You killed him for betraying your trust. The last one didn’t even know. Selfish is what you are. Did you enjoy the crowds praise? Their wonderful cheers?

Shut up. He just wanted someone to care for him. Someone who would be there for him when he needs it. So, what if he had gotten addicted to their cheers, to their love for him?

He would never love you. Unless you wear down his defenses…

He-

“Gyu-hyuk?” Do-yoon looked over at him, his eyes still red and puffy from the tears.

And just like that, the voice goes silent. He could finally think and hear himself. He took a moment to think things through before giving a weaken smile.

“We’re alive. We survived.” He would never lose someone important to him ever again. Not this time. He will cling on for as long as he can. For everyone involved, he will make sure the truth will never be revealed.

Chapter Text

Gyu-hyuk could hardly remember a time where he has seen Do-yoon outside of the dressing room. Nowadays, the other refuses to leave the room for anything and the others never acknowledged it either. He could often hear the others whispering among themselves whenever he visits Do-yoon, always staying outside of the dressing room.

“Gyu-hyuk? Are you there?” He called out; his voice slightly muffled from behind the door. For a moment, the door shook as though something was hitting against it. Of course, it was just the other male, probably tripping over something.

“Ah, sorry. Just been lost in thought.” He placed a hand on the door, feeling the rough wood underneath his fingertips. Giving a gentle smile as he placed his forehead against a strange part of the wood.

Something was wrong. Why does it smell like-

“You’re always lost in thought.” He laughed from the other side of the door as it once again shook against its hinges. “What’s happening outside? Any word on the rescue team?” His voice was calm and collected, always the observant one in the group and the one everyone turned to for one reason or another.

“Juyoung has been working on it with Seil. There are some parts that they need but, they don’t want to risk venturing out yet. Something about ‘too much movement’ and they are still waiting on Hyesung and Inha to return. Though, I wish they would include me in their talks instead of having to eavesdrop on them.” Closing his eyes, he could almost hear the gentle heavy breathing of Do-yoon. “I never did thank you for saving me…” He gripped the door tightly, digging his nails into the wood, ignoring the splinters that littered his fingertips.

“I just did what anyone would have done, you know. Not that anyone would believe someone like me. The betrayer.” Something was groaning. Clawing against something.

“Do-yoon, I…” No amount of words could change what had happened. Something was nagging at him in the back of his mind. Screaming at him to recall that time, to remember how it all went down.

“Gyu-“

“Gyu-hyuk?” Juyoung’s voice cut through the whirlwind threatening to tear apart his mind.

Jumping away from the door, he swirled around to see the other standing right behind him with her hand placed gently on her chest. Her eyes locked on to the door, widen in fear and shock. Her entire body seemed tense and ready to flee at a moment’s notice. Her other hand was stretched out towards him, just barely twitching with the urge to grab him and pull him away from the door.

“Hyesung and Inha just came back with supplies. Let’s just go see them, alright?” The words that tumbled out of her lips were soft, hardly louder than a whisper and the message behind them was clear. Get away from that door.

“Oh! Did they bring anything back for Do-yoon? He’s still locked up in here and I was wondering if we-“

“No. I mean, why don’t we see what the others brought back and go from there. Alright?” She gave a weak smile as her hand shook in the air, trying to put on a brave face for him.

“I should welcome them back…” He sighed and looked over at the door one last time. “Do-yoon? The others came back! I will be back soon, don’t worry.” He called out towards the other as Juyoung lunged forward to grab his hand, gripping it tightly as she began to tug him away.

“Let’s go before I-Inha and Hyesung start fighting again.” Her voice grew shaky as she practically dragged the other away.

As the pair wandered through the ruins of the Buried Stars stage, a low animalistic groan could be heard from within the dressing room.

No one wants to accept the reality they have been forced to endure. The dead roamed the streets, devouring everything in their path. They all came together within the ruins of the stage and began to use it as base until they received words of some rescue team. They had a system in place where Juyoung and Seil would take care of the electrical and technical side of things. Hyesung and Inha would do supply runs as they were the nimbler of the group. Lastly, Do-yoon and Gyu-hyuk would do patrols around the area and look for any survivors. Always in pairs. Never be alone. Protect each other and save any fighting until they return to base. Avoid tight places. Save ammo and use quick blows to the head.

Days blurred into weeks. The stage was becoming a haven for them as they began to use what they had to their advantage. Any decision they made that ended with a tie was usually broken up by Do-yoon, who eventually became known as their unspoken leader. Even though he would deny it, he would still listen in and give his option on things. In many ways, he was the glue keeping everyone sane while the dead continued to liter the streets.

Everything was fine until Gyu-hyuk was almost bitten. ‘Almost’ being the key word as Do-yoon was the one who put his arm in front of the other, the same arm that was bitten and nearly torn apart. Those routine days were soon filled with constant screams, pleas to just be killed, to end the pain, clawing his own arm, lashing out on others. Everything and everyone broke when their only option was to lock the infected male in the dressing room. Lock him up and leave him to his fate because they could not stomach the thought of killing their own. They avoided the room ever since that day. Hyesung and Inha grew more violent towards each other, Seil would snap at everything and everyone, Juyoung grew more silent and distant but Gyu-hyuk was different.

No one could be certain when it began. Gyu-hyuk took it the hardest, that they knew as much. What they didn’t realized was what he was doing every night. Night after night, he would be in front of that damned door. Talking and laughing as if the other was still human. If Inha didn’t show up to look for him, they would have never known. He would continue his duties like it was just a normal day while during the night he would curl up next to the door, losing his sanity by the minute.

The day Do-yoon died is when Gyu-hyuk denied reality and lost his mind.

Chapter Text

Do-yoon, no matter how much he tried, could no longer remember what the world used to look like before that faithful day. Could he remember walking through the streets with various people passing him by? No. Could he remember going with his former band to perform? No, he couldn’t. No matter how much he wished, those memories escaped him every time. His favorite meal? His favorite song? His own family members? Blur. All of it were a blur to him.

The memories he could remember, though? Screams. Cries. Yelling. Groans. All those sounds echoed in a constant vortex within his mind. The smell of blood that once brought a wave of nausea, soon become a common smell. The smell of decay? Never left him, no matter how much he wanted to scrub his skin raw. How many bodies had he moved, constantly hoping that one of them were a survivor hiding? But then again, even the survivors were a constant threat.

How many bodies had they passed that had the tall tale signs of a gunshot? Those weren’t the infected. Just everyday people who tried their hardest to survive. He wanted to scream. He wanted to lash out and pray that everything was still a dream. A nightmare he can wake up from and find everything was back to normal.

But no matter how much he wished; he could still wake up to the same blood-covered walls of the Buried Stars stage. The same bloodied handprints all over with the same cracks and the same damn hollow silence. The same that kept repeating over and over and over

How long has he been in this room? Which room was it anyway? Could he even remember that much? How did he even come here? Why was his arm so damn itchy? He should get it out. Get it out. He needed to rip it out!

Itchy. Hot. Burning. Blood everywhere. Someone was screaming. Who was it?

Thirsty. Was there anything around here to drink? He blinked once and tried to focus his sight, the dark shadows within the room was nothing but a mess of shadows. Even lifting his head was taking every drop of his energy. Something cracked. Was it him? Focusing his vision, he could see a mirror that was barely intact with what looked to be lights all along the border. Do-yoon could feel something pressed against his back. Was it a door? What time is it? Where were the others? Did something happen? Wait. What happened to Gyu-hyuk? Is he ok? Thoughts were running through his mind.

One step at a time. First things first, I need to get up. Need to find the others. Need to… Do-yoon tried to lift one of his arms, only to find it limp and heavy. And so damn itchy. His other hand twitched with the sudden urge to scratch. Maybe just one scratch. Just one.

No. Get up first. Even if everything feels so damn heavy. I can do it. One step. He took a slow and deep breath, ignoring how he could feel his chest tightening, before pushing his body upwards. Everything was burning and pain spiking all over, he could only grip the object behind him for support. No matter how much dug his nails into the wooden door, he ignored the warm blood dripping down.

He let out a groan, panting heavily as he could feel saliva dripping down as even his mouth felt too heavy to even stop it. He felt disgusting. Drained beyond anything he ever experienced. His eyes constantly loosing their focus as he tried held himself up on shaky legs.

Blood was everywhere. He wanted to throw up. He wanted to tear out his arm. So hungry. So thirsty. So cold. The blood was so warm though. He wanted more of it.

Finally, with the help of the door behind him, he could stand and move his head around to take in the broken room. It was dark but he could make out various parts of it. It was like walking into an unlit room during the day. He cracked a small smile, not caring how insane he must look right now. Step one was completed. Now, step two. Get out of this room.

“Do-yoon? Are you there?”

His eyes widen as he snapped his head to look over his shoulder at the door. Someone was there. The voice was familiar to him. Saliva was flowing down his chin. Something smelled good. Did someone come by to check in on him? They must have brought something for him to eat. Whatever it was, it smelled so mouth-watering. He wanted a bite. He was so hungry. When was the last time he ate anything?

He opened his mouth and all he could muster up were nonsensical words and groans. His mouth could no longer form any words to even communicate with the stranger. Moving his body took so much effort but he needed to get closer. So much closer. Needed to feel that delicious warmth.

“Ah, there you are. I was afraid of waking you up. I wanted to say thank you. Thank you for saving me.” The voice softened and held a deep sorrow to them, as if the person on the other side was close to crying.

“Everything has been so…No one wanted to even come near here. They keep avoiding you and I just…Can I…” His hearing could hear the voice, but the words were escaping him now. What was it even saying anymore?

He slammed his head against the door, ignoring the fresh blood dropping down his face as he stared wide-eyed at the door. His hand clawed down along the wood, feeling the skin breaking under the splinters. Do-yoon could feel his mouth moving, letting free his groans as every fiber of his body refused to cooperate.

“Are you…Food? Got some…as fresh…”

Fresh? Like the voice? The voice smelled so good. He just needed to get out. Simple. The voice could help him out. He just needed to tell it. The voice could understand. Maybe it can help with his arm. The same arm that kept bothering him. The same one that he could feel just limping by his side. The voice could just tear it out of him. Just rip it off. Maybe cut it. It didn’t matter to him.

“I will…tomorrow…Just…” Breathing heavily, he slammed his head against the door once more. The voice stopped it’s constant whispers and let the silence filled the air. Soon, Do-yoon could hear footsteps moving away from the door. Was the voice leaving him? No! Don’t go. Stay. Let me out. Just let me go! Open the door. Get back here and open the damn door!

Without a second thought, he slammed his entire body against the door with every once of his strength. He wanted to get out. He didn’t care how he could feel something break inside. The door wouldn’t budge. Why isn’t it working? Was he too weak? Was it the lack of food? Get him out! Come back and open it. Just open it.

As Gyu-hyuk left the dressing room, the halls were filled with a deep animalistic growl and constant groans. Thumps were heard throughout the night as something kept hitting the door over and over. Despite how much Do-yoon tried, no one would ever let him out. Trapped and alone. He could no longer tell if he was still human or not. He couldn’t even tell that it was Gyu-hyuk who kept by his side on the other side of the door. He didn’t know how many times the other male thought about letting him out for just a moment. How many times Gyu-hyuk’s hand itched closer to the doorknob. All Do-yoon could feel and think were all over with no clear focus to them, only instincts.

They all left him to rot.