Work Text:
Let it be said that Bakugou Katsuki is the best person in this entire fucked up world. Not just because of his looks, though he prides himself in his morning routine to create such flawless skin (no matter how much his old hag likes to brag that it’s her genes, fuck that, it’s all him), no, but because what else could explain why he’s here, standing outside a coffee shop that has the nerve to call itself Bean Juicery (what the fuck does that even mean?) with the world’s most obnoxious couple waiting for his motherfucking date to this motherfucking double date to arrive.
There’s no other reason other than he’s the best person in this entire fucked up world.
Especially since he has no idea who his said date is, other than what Shitstain #1 told him, which was “You’ll like her! She plays softball and learned martial arts from Gunhead himself! Plus she’s really pretty and smart and she majors in astronomy and boxes every Tuesday at the one gym not far from the University, you know the one with-”
According to Shitstain #2, she’s “manly as hell”, but that means fuck all because Kirishima once saw a leaf fall on someone’s head and started crying the same thing.
Whoever she is, she is fucking late and the seconds tick by like ants crawling on his skin. He had specifically bashed the time into the other’s heads so that they can get in and out before the stupid afternoon rush and now that time is slipping through his fingers as more and more people walk through the ridiculous red door.
“Ochako said she got held up by her teacher,” Deku chirps, rapidly typing on his phone, “she’ll be here soon.” His entire body is tucked under Eijiro’s arm, looking cozier than a goddamn kitten lapping up milk, even though Deku is almost taller than the other and just as fit, the shitty nerd still manages to make himself look small and innocent.
Katsuki clicks his tongue in an impatient tch. He could be writing his paper due in three weeks right now, or studying for the upcoming exam. He has a group project in his stupid required science class and he seems to be the only one competent enough to think in the entire fucking class, let alone his group, so he has to carry that shit on his shoulders as well.
The sun beat down relentlessly onto them, it’s too fucking hot for the couple beside him to be cuddled up against each other, and Katsuki feels sweat running down his cheek. He didn’t bring his towel.
Why the fuck are they not waiting inside again?
“Sorry I’m late!” a cheery voice called out, and Deku perks up from where he has wrapped himself around Shitty Hair.
Katsuki doesn’t judge people from first appearances, okay? That’s rude as shit and hardly ever fucking true. This chick, Katsuki doesn’t remember her name, was he even told her name?, is shorter than him, with plump, pink cheeks and bouncy hair. She kind of reminds him of Deku, an instant turn off but he pushes past it reluctantly, with a bright smile and a round, babyish face, but the blonde can see muscles underneath her cardigan. She’s pretty, he guesses, and looks bright enough to power a small building. Is she worth being dragged into a double date that’s also a blind date for him with the most grossly in love couple of the century?
Katsuki doubts it, but he fucking hopes so.
“Kacchan, this is Ochako,” Deku introduces, smiling just as brightly as Pin- Ochako, “Chako this is Kacch- ah haha Katsuki, I mean.” He shifts nervously underneath Katsuki’s glare.
“Nice to meet you!” she blushes, still smiling widely. She bows nervously and Katsuki tries to tone down his glare, fuck he promised he would try with this one, if only to get them both off his back for a couple of weeks, but her persistent cheerfulness and smiles already make Katsuki want to scowl.
“Likewise,” he mutters.
Ochako doesn’t waver under his sour attitude, which is honestly a point to her because he knows his face makes children cry.
“Let’s go inside shall we?” Kirishima pipes up, pushing through the small awkward silence forcibly, “it’s too hot out here, not manly at all.”
Katsuki and Ochako snort at the same time, and they look at each other in surprise. His heart doesn’t speed up at the sight of her blush, nor does he feel all that flustered, but he’s not as annoyed as he was before.
He doesn’t miss the other two chucklefucks exchanging a look of premature triumph.
It’s much cooler inside, the air-con on at full blast, and Katsuki gives a small sigh of relief. He hates the heat with a burning passion, he sweats too much and it gets fucking everywhere.
“Whooo,” Ochako announces, “it feels good in here! That heat sucks!”
Katsuki doesn’t point out that she’s the one wearing a cardigan, especially when he’s wearing sweatpants. At least he has the sense to wear a tank top, his red one because it apparently goes with his eyes, and he knows it shows off his arms fantastically. Let it not be said that he didn’t make a fucking effort.
The coffee shop is small and painted with warm, brown colors. The scent of coffee beans and sugar fill the air and it’s fucking packed because they got in here in a middle of a rush, instead of the calm that it would’ve been earlier. Luckily, the line doesn’t look all that long.
Eijiro and Deku went first, talking in excited tones about a new movie or game or some shit, their fingers brushing and tangling then untangling and brushing like two branches from different trees smacking against each other. Shitty Hair is staring at Deku as if he hung the moon to the sky
“They’re so cute,” Pink Cheeks murmurs, her tone full of some much longing that it makes Katsuki feel kind of sick. He can’t imagine ever being the disgusting cutesy type, he knows that he’s about and he’s not about that. His last boyfriend can attest to that, and his partner before that. It doesn’t matter how much he likes the goddamn person, hand holding and shit is something he was never comfortable with. His hands sweat too much, for one, and he doesn’t get the point of it.
“They’re disgusting,” Katsuki corrects with a snort, an ugly sound that makes the other’s nose scrunch up. The other frowns at that, and maybe Katsuki would feel bad if he isn’t so fucking relieved to not see that chirpy, cheerful smile anymore. Honestly, what were those two thinking, that he would want someone like them for a partner? They don’t talk for the entirety of the wait in line, and Katsuki appreciates the fuck out of it, even if the other gives him cautious looks and kept opening and snapping her mouth shut with an audible click, as if looking for something to say but not finding anything.
After Deku and Shitty Hair orders something overly expensive and sweet for the both of them, and probably a cute little dessert to share, they both give Katsuki a pointed look that he promptly ignores.
He motions to Pink Cheeks to order first, if only to get the other two to relax and find a seat and not make complicated and ineligible hand motions on what to do. Her order, to his un surprise, is just as overly expensive and sweet as what the others had ordered.
They really do want him to date someone like them, what the fuck?
Katsuki makes a mental note to remind Deku how much he hates him, maybe by breaking his nose or something. Shitty Hair’s head is as hard as rock, so Katsuki needs to find something else to show him how much he doesn’t appreciate him forcing him to go on a double date with a stranger with them.
“What do you want?” a voice drones, blunt and as dead as Deku’s plants. It itches at Katsuki’s skull terribly and he scowls. Well, he’s already scowling, but he scowls deeper.
He looks up at the barista, about to snap at his shitty customer service, only to find the most beautiful being in existence blinking at him from behind the counter. Katsuki isn’t in love at first sight, fuck that shit, but there are few moments where he’s attracted at first sight. Not even in the I-want-to-hear-you-scream-my-name way, but in a way he sees a waterfall at sunset and watches the water glisten in the vibrant colors, or when he stands on top of a mountain and sees the entire world underneath him even clouds or looking up at a clear night and seeing the sky splattered with stars. It’s looking and seeing something he doesn’t want to take his eyes off.
Which is fucking stupid, no human being should be that beautiful. Especially if that idiot has the worst dye job in existence, half of his hair red, the other half white, with a bland as fuck expression, it looks what dry plain rice tastes . So maybe he has pretty eyes, heterochromic and bright, one a stormy grey the other an icy blue, and both combined making up all the shades and tempers of the sky. Except for a big, obvious burn scar that covers his left eye, his skin is pale and flawless. The way his hair touches his cheek is too fucking distracting, as is the way his smock shows off his shoulders.
What the fuck no wonder this coffee shop is so fucking popular.
“What do you want?” The pretty Halfie-Todoroki his single kanji reads on his smock- repeats, sounding exactly the same as before. It’s a nice voice, even if a little dead, low and smooth, easy to feel against his skin. Katsuki repins the scowl that had fallen loose slightly, and looks up at the menu as angrily as he can, hoping to push down his racing heartbeat. Almost immediately something catches his eye.
“What the fuck is Spice Attack??”
The barista blinks his absurdly pretty eyes at him. His eyelashes are long, framing his eyes delicately.
“It’s coffee,” he says, and Katsuki’s fingers twitch to both run his hands through his hair and to choke the shit out of this guy. Luckily, the pretty boy continues.
“With a mix of four spices: cinnamon, vanilla bean, nutmeg, and a spice of the customer’s choice.”
He sounds like he’s reading a goddamn textbook. Katsuki kind of wants him to read him his textbook.
“My choice huh?”
Todoroki arches a brow elegantly in a way that practically says that’s what I said isn’t it? and fuck if that isn’t hot.
Katsuki leans his arms on the counter, smirking at the way the pretty boy’s eyes flit along his forearms and traces up to his shoulders. His part time job as a mechanic does more than help him with his studies.
“Cayenne pepper.”
Pretty Boy snaps his eyes to his face, blinking rapidly. His eyelashes are the same color of his hair.
“Cayenne.. pepper?” He tilts his head, white locks falling across his eyes and Halfie gracefully pushes back behind his ear with his fingers. Katsuki momentarily forgets what he’s saying, he’s pretty sure he stops breathing .
He shakes himself out quickly, before mockingly arching a brow back, not nearly as flawlessly as the other did, but the message is still the same.
That’s what I said, isn’t it?
“I’ll take the Attack, large, with cayenne pepper.”
Pretty Boy studies him, eyes narrowed and sharp and easily raking up and down his spine. He likes that look, maybe a little too much.
“That’ll be 700 yen, I’ll give it to you at your table,” he says, just as blandly, exchanging the receipt with Katsuki’s money. Katsuki’s fingers graze his hand, much softer and more slender than his own, and he watches a soft pink gently make a home in Halfie’s cheeks and feels his own cheeks fill with a similar kind of heat.
Katsuki heads to his table with his heart pounding against his rib cage and the phantom warmth tingling his fingertips.
Pink Cheeks blushes again when Katsuki sits by her and accidentally brushes his arm against hers. His eyes are too focused on watching the pretty barista tuck his hair behind his ears to notice.
“So- ah- what do you study?”
Deku and Shitty Hair are talking about the same stupid subject they were in line, somehow still managing to not exhaust themselves. Though he can see how their ears practically perk up like a dog’s, clearly more interested in the stilted conversation Pink Cheek’s is trying to start. They’re inability to keep their noses out of Katsuki’s ass pains him greatly.
One day, he’s going to outlive his friends and be forced to bury them, and that thought relaxes him.
“Aerospace engineering,” he answers gruffly, turning away from the pretty barista reluctantly. The girl brightens, all traces of lingering awkwardness and uncertainty fading away.
Shit.
“That’s so cool!” She turns towards him, hands waving through the air excitedly and Katsuki has such a vivid flashback of Deku doing the exact same thing when he told him about his major that he has to resist the urge to jump into the traffic outside.
“I’m studying astronomy and astrophysics, I’m going to be an astronaut,” she states, half proudly and half defiantly, a challenging look in her eyes that Katsuki recognizes, it’s a look of being told countless times that she can’t do something and being determined to prove them wrong.
Which is bullshit, how is anyone supposed to know if they can’t be something if they don’t try.
“Well I’m going to be building the rockets that’ll send your ass to space, so don’t piss me off,” technically he can also become an astronaut after a number of years of building rockets, but he has no desire to go into space, though the thought of flying in general is as exhilarating as it comes.
The challenging defiant look on the other’s face washes away, softening into something that looks close to awe and somewhat like appreciation.
“Sorry for the wait,” a voice drags his attention away and Katsuki jerks up, but it isn’t the pretty boy, instead it’s another barista with shitty purple hair and a look of pure exhaustion on his face. The tired twink gives the other’s their overly sweet poison and their food. Katsuki will be damned if he’ll order desserts when he can just make some himself with a little added spice to it. Speaking of-
“Where’s my drink?” he demands and he twists his head around the other to look at the counter, but the pretty boy is gone and Katsuki’s scowl deepens.
“Your drink will be coming shortly,” he drones. Fucking hell does everyone who works here sound dead inside?
After asking if anyone needed anything else, sounding as if he desperately hopes that they don’t, he leaves and the pretty boy still isn’t to be seen. Is he on break or some shit?
“What did you order Kacchan?”
“None of your fucking business shitty nerd,” he snaps, drawing away from glancing all over the coffee shop to give Deku a glare.
“Hey! He was just asking a question you don’t have to be so mean about it!” Pink Cheeks huffs, cheeks puffing out to resemble chipmunk. Or a baboon’s ass, he thinks vindictively, turning his glare towards her. She matches his glare with her own, which causes a worm of respect to wiggle in his brain, but the worm quickly stills when he reminds it that it’s Deku of all people that the other is defending.
“Oh no it’s okay! Kacchan is usually like that, even when we were kids! He doesn’t mean it, I mean, he kinda does? But not really, it’s, um, it’s more like-”
“It’s like how snails and crabs and turtles have these hard, manly shells to hide their soft, gooey and equally manly insides,” Kirishima interrupts with a wide smile, and scratch out whatever shit he said about one day , because he’ll be burying these fuckers now.
“Oh! Mina did mention how tsundere he is,” Pink Cheeks thinks out loud, when no one asked her to, and Katsuki adds Pinkie to his hit list instantly, and Dunce Face and Tapebitch as well, because he knows those two are most likely doing something right now that’ll piss him off.
Rage simmers in his blood, goddamnit why did he agree to this again?
Oh yeah because he’s the best person in the universe.
“One large Spice Attack with cayenne pepper,” a steaming cup is placed in front of him and Katsuki’s rage instantly settles, the low flame kept underneath it put out.
The pretty boy’s fingers are long and elegant, and Katsuki pretends that his own pleased expression is because of the drink. He inhales a rich, savory smell, the cayenne pepper is definitely in there, his nose is stinging slightly because of it.
The barista straightens, looking at Katsuki, and he’s somehow not all that bothered by the playful tint in those pretty eyes. He feels his heartbeat pick up, the red on his face cooling from rage to something else entirely.
“Please enjoy,” he bows, monotone as ever, and Katsuki nods dumbly like an idiot, even though the other has already turned away.
“C-cayenne pepper?” Deku asks hesitantly, eyeing Katsuki’s drink as if his coffee will leap out of its container and attack. Unfortunately, it won’t do that. Katsuki ignores their concerned looks, Pink Cheeks exhibits an air of disgust that makes him want to punt her out of the window, and takes a small sip. The liquid is hot, obviously, and he instantly tastes the vanilla bean and cinnamon. The nutmeg is less noticeable, but there’s a definite hint of it. The cayenne pepper hits midway through and stays long after the other flavors.
It’s fucking delicious.
The other three fuckers are staring at him as if he stood up and stuck his dick inside the coffee cup instead.
“So, um, Ochako!” Deku turns to Katsuki’s supposed date with a beaming smile, Katsuki finds great joy in watching it wobble slightly, fucking losers, they’ll probably piss their pants if they found out Katsuki puts Korean red chili paste on his icecream. What’s the point of having something sweet if there isn’t a little spice to it?
“You have a lesson later today, right? With Gunhead?”
Pink Cheeks nods enthusiastically while Katsuki takes another drink of his coffee, leaning back against the booth lazily. Out of the corner of his eye, the pretty boy is making a drink behind the counter, brows furrowed in concentration.
“Yeah! He’s teaching us how to disarm a weapon today!” she punches her fist in the air, forgetting that she’s still holding a brownie in her hand and crumbs shower out of her fist and onto the seat below. Katsuki scoots closer to the edge with a scowl, but Ochako doesn’t seem to notice.
“We have a competition next week with Shiketsu and we’re gonna ground them to dust!” She declares, shoving her brownie in her mouth triumphantly. Shitty Hair casts him a smug knowing look, a mix between I told you so and see ? No, Katsuki doesnt see and Kirishima has never been correct a day in his shitty life, he’s dating Deku for fuck’s sake.
“Kacchan also has a boxing competition next week,” Shitty Hair says pointedly, nudging Deku in the most unsubtle way ever, who nudges back. He takes a pointed sip out of his drink. Katsuki looks him dead in the eyes and takes a sip out of his own, much better drink, the wince that crosses the other’s features almost as good as the burn layering his mouth.
“Boxing?” Ochako’s eyes drift to his arms before looking away hastily with pink, well, pinker cheeks. Katsuki flexes a little because fuck yeah his arms are hot shit, everything about him is. He thinks back to the way the pretty boy looked at his arms with a satisfied smirk.
After that, Pink Cheeks dives back in to asking about boxing and Katsuki, well, he holds a small weight of gratitude to be able to talk to someone who actually knows what he’s talking about, unlike Shitty Hair who just nods with a that’s so manly! and Deku, who also does boxing, but he just mutters shit under his breath the entire time and also his very existence pisses Katsuki off.
The pretty barista probably doesn’t know boxing, but then again, those shoulders aren’t made from sitting on the couch and playing video games all day. He can see them from here, while Katsuki has broad shoulders, much more broad than the pretty boy’s, his waist is trim and narrow. Meanwhile, pretty boy is all lean from what he can tell, with long legs and thighs that Katsuki can easily grab onto and-
“Mmmm that brownie was really good, I think I’ll get another one.”
“I’ll get it,” Katsuki says, hastily, already getting up. He finished his coffee awhile ago, and he’s tempted to get another cup, and well, if he has other motives then that’s no one’s fucking business.
Pink Cheeks gives him a surprised, pleased smile while Deku and Shitty Hair think they’re being slick with the looks they’re exchanging.
“Are you sure, I can-”
“It’s fine,” he heads towards the counter before she can object more, and he’s still close enough to hear Deku’s exclamation of wow he really must like you!
“Really?”
“Yeah, bro, Katsu never buys anything for anyone.”
Katsuki feels kind of guilty, even though he’s not the one leading her on, it’s the other two chucklefucks. He’s not really interested in her that way, even though he does plan on getting in a ring with her and see how Gunhead’s supposedly legendary training really is, her blushes just causes nothing but a blatant disinterest. It’s not even (just) because of the pretty barista, he’s just not interested.
It happens, literally with every date Deku and/or Shitty Hair drags him to actually, because they seem to think that the only personality that will be willing to deal with him and he’ll be willing to tolerate is one like their own. Cheerful, challenging, strong, always smiling, always positive and acting like the world shits rainbows. While he does like challenging and he does like strong, the constant cheer and smiles gives him a headache more than anything.
“Oh you’re back, hello,” the pretty boy states, face not changing from monotone but Katsuki sees the way his pretty eyes brighten as soon as he spots him and flushes deeply.
Or maybe he’s just into people with less expression on their face than a dead fish, who fucking knows.
“Double chocolate brownie,” he orders, remembering Pink Cheek’s chirpy voice when she ordered the same thing, “and a large Spice Attack with extra cayenne pepper this time.”
Katsuki smirks smugly at the surprised arch the pretty boy gives.
“Oh, you didn’t seem like the sweets type,” he tilts his head at Katsuki, eyes going from blank and bright to sharp within the same breath, and Katsuki’s own breath catches at the way the other studies him, thoughtful and thorough. Katsuki clears his throat roughly.
“What kind of type do you think I am?” He asks, leaning against the counter. He flexes his arms just to watch the pretty boy’s eyes dart towards them like before, before he moves his eyes to meet his own. The pretty boy hums thoughtfully and the low sound sends a vivid shiver down Katsuki’s spine.
“Not sure,” he says, finally, “but you did ask for cayenne pepper in your coffee and you didn’t order any sweets before even though your friends did.” There’s no hint of judgement in his tone, or anything at all, just an idle observation and maybe a slight sprinkle of amusement, to top it off like this stupid brownie. Katsuki’s eyes follow him as he sets to prepare Katsuki’s drink.
“You got a problem with a little spice Pr- Halfie?”
The pretty barista mouths Halfie to himself in confusion, and it’s cute enough to create world peace, or some sappy shit like that.
“I don’t really eat spicy stuff,” he muses, pumping some shit in the large cup, “I like cold soba.” He adds it as if it’s a helpful piece of information that everyone should know. Katsuki stores it in the back of his brain.
“That’s boring as shit,” Katsuki snorts, “you probably drink plain green tea with it.”
The resounding silence tells more than any answer, and the pretty boy gives him a small pout that has Katsuki ducking his head to hide his smile and his answering blush.
An idea sparks in his head, vibrant and reckless, and Katsuki stares straight at it and thinks fuck it.
“You need to be taught the fucking delights of spicy food as soon as possible, maybe for dinner?”
Fuck he was supposed to sound casual and shit, but instead he sounded hopeful and uncertain as if he fucking cares if the pretty boy says yes or not, which he most certainly doesn’t. Nevermind that this is the first time he ever actually asked someone out on a date, rather than the other person chasing after him or even Katsuki himself telling them to meet him somewhere, rather than asking.
Todoroki pauses, and Katsuki’s heart pounds through his chest at the red he sees climbing up the pretty boy’s cheek. He finishes up the drink and hands it to Katsuki, who takes it silently with a pinch in his chest. He swallows roughly at the brush of the pretty boy’s fingertips against his palm.
Fuck, he’s so stupid, he’ll just return to his actual date, or maybe he’ll leave and do his stupid paper, which is what he should’ve done instead of agreeing to do this dumb shit.
“I get off at five,” he says, and Katsuki didn’t even realize he had turned away until his neck snapped towards the barista so quick that it cracks slightly, his mouth dropping in shock.
Todoroki fidgets underneath his stare, head ducking low so that his hair drops across his face and fuck Katsuki’s mouth feels heavy all of the sudden, chest twisting and untwisting.
“Fucking- okay, fuck I’ll pick you up,” he swallows again, “at five.”
Pretty Boy nods rapidly, pushing his hair out of his face and Katsuki follows the movement intensely, fingers clenching around his cup tight enough for a stream of coffee to escape his cup and burn his hand. He ignores it with all the strength he can, only slightly clenching his jaw in pain.
“Right, I’ll just-” he points with the hand holding the brownie to his table and Todoroki gives him a small smile, nothing like Pink Cheeks enthusiastic wide one or Deku’s beaming smile or Shitty Hair’s blinding grin, and Katsuki is helpless in returning it with one of his own.
“I’ll see you ah-” he pauses, voice fading slightly and Katsuki flushes.
“Katsuki,” he says, instead of saying Bakugou like he usually does, and flushes deeper when Todoroki repeats his name softly, as if taste-testing it and finding it something savory.
“I’m Shouto,” the pretty boy says, and it sounds better than Todoroki, sweet but not teeth rotting, and Katsuki nods at him, licking his chapped lips. Despite the aircon at full blast, he can feel a light sweat cling to his temple and back.
“You better be fucking ready, Shouto,” he warns, before almost tripping over his own feet by how quickly he turns away, the image of the pretty boy’s wide, shocked face, a deep blush staining his cheeks, imprinted to the recesses of his mind.
He practically floats all the way to this table, his entire fucking chest is light and airy.
Katsuki is pretty sure this is what flying feels like.
He hands Pink Cheeks her brownie, ignoring her comment of that took you a while, and instead says, after taking a long gulp out of his coffee and feeling the sting of his burnt hand, “Let’s fight sometime next week.”
Deku and Kirishima both stop talking, turning towards them without even trying to look like they weren’t entirely focused on their conversation. Her eyes widen in shock, before she meets her gaze head on and nods once, a silent you’re on.
He waits until the other two chucklefucks high five in victory before continuing.
“But I’m not interested in dating you.”
He kind of wants to capture the look on the idiots’ faces, he’s pretty sure he hears the thunk of their jaws simultaneously dropping onto the table, and even Pink Cheeks looks stunned.
Ochako takes it better than his two friends, in fact, she almost looked relieved which, fuck her, he’s a goddamn catch.
In the end,, he gets a spar partner and a hot date with the pretty barista, and he’s still the best fucking person in this entire fucked up world.