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Not Ready

Summary:

[Contains FMA:B Ending Spoilers] Just an idea of what it would be like if Ed's body rejected his arm. Pinako would totally realize what was going on. Ed is in love with Winry and it shows. It doesn't have a great or satisfying ending, but I didn't know how to continue or finish it differently, so please enjoy!
disclaimer: Some dialogue between Ed and Al is taken from the FMA:B dub and is not my own.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

“Have trains always been so fucking bouncy?!” They had been on the train for only about 30 minutes, and still had a long way to go till they made it to Risembool. 

“I don’t know brother, but it’s kind of fun!” Al hadn’t stopped grinning since they woke up that morning. The doctors had finally, and reluctantly, deemed him fit for travel, and the boys hopped on the very next train they could. Al was still weak and needed braces to walk, but he was just as antsy as Ed to get out of that hospital and home to show Granny and Winry his body again.

  In the aftermath of the day Al got his body back, Ed had somehow miraculously avoided a long hospital stay and physical therapy of his own. The doctors were too busy worrying over the hole the rebar made in his left arm than checking out his right. Old bastards actually believed him when he said it felt perfectly fine and didn’t bother to check themselves!  But every bounce on this train ride reminded him of how not perfectly fine it was. 

To be honest, it had been great for the few days he was in care. After he was released, he kept his jacket on almost 24/7. It was strange seeing it, and everytime he did he was reminded of the stupid stunt his brother and Mei pulled to bring it back. So he kept it hidden under his jacket, and hand in his pocket unless Al asked to look at it. 

Around day 4, he woke up in the middle of the night with red hot pain in his shoulder. He bit down on his tongue to not wake Al up who was sleeping peacefully in his hospital bed. The pain never really went away but it dulled enough to bear. Something like this was probably normal, after all, no one had ever gotten their arm alchemically removed and then put back before. It would probably go away with time.

As the days went by, Al spent more and more time awake. They talked about all the things they were going to do now that he had his body back.

“You haven’t been using your arm, are you sure it’s feeling alright brother?” Al had asked him on their last day in the hospital. 

“I told you, it’s fine, I’m just not used to having it back yet is all. You and I can both work on our physical therapy together when we get back to Risembool.” This answer seemed to satisfy Al and their conversation quickly returned to their upcoming trip. 

On the train however, every bump and jostle was making his shoulder feel worse and worse. The pain had made its way up into his neck now as well.  He was on edge and felt he might snap at the next person who bothered him. 

“You should get some rest Al.” Ed didn’t know whether he said it more because it was true, or because he didn’t want the next person he snapped at to be his younger brother. “Don’t worry, I will wake you up when we start to get close. You won’t miss it.”

Al eventually leaned against the seat and stared out the window, head bouncing against it, till he drifted off to sleep. He should probably get some rest in too. Risembool was at the end of the line, and they had a long way to go till then. Ed’s whole body felt run down and hopefully a quick nap would perk him back up before seeing Winry and Granny. 

He slouched on the uncomfortable bench, reluctantly resting his aching shoulder against the back. How he would ever rest with the jarring pain in his shoulder, was beyond him, but even closing his eyes was better than nothing he surmised. Thoughts of Winry and getting to see his brother smile and eat back home drowned out his pain and he eventually drifted off as well. 

***

“Brother!” Ed woke up to Al shaking his shoulder from the other side of their booth. “We’re here!” Al’s eyes were sparkling and he was practically bouncing up and down in his seat. “Come on, come on!” 

Ugh, Ed’s head was pounding. Did he really sleep all the way to Risembool? Al must have woken up before him because he didn’t seem upset at Ed for not waking him up. Ed dragged his body out of the train behind Al, carrying their now joint suitcase in his left hand. 

Getting to see Al walk through town in his own body again was enough to wipe out any tiredness from his bones. 

Determined to make a point to Al, who asked about his arm yet again before leaving the station that morning, Ed switched to carry their suitcase in his right as they made down the path toward the Rockbell's. Their conversation through town had changed to talking about the past few years and how they had changed since being kids. Being back in your hometown tends to do that. 

“We sure have made a lot of friends,” Al sighed.

“I know…” the weight in his right arm reminded him of something, “especially you, Alphonse, You got pretty close with a certain princess,” he teased. “You aiming to be the future Prince of Xing?”

“Oh, come on. She is a pretty nice girl though… But forget about that,” Al batted back jovially, and sent a knowing glance of his own “what about you and Winry?” 

Winry. 

Ed stopped in his tracks, the yellow house just ahead of them up the road. He had been so excited about Al coming home with his body, that he had forgotten that he was coming home as well. And Winry would be waiting there for him, right behind that green door. Winry.

He noticed Al smirking at him. “Come on, can’t keep her waiting, can we?” He squared his shoulders with a new determination.

Den, who was dozing on the porch, stared curiously at Al till he recognized his voice and promptly plowed him over. Al didn’t look hurt so Ed was content to just stand back and watch the two.
“Den, stop that tickles!” Hearing Al say something like that felt more real than actually seeing his body. 

Den and Alphonse were still saying their hellos when the front door opened. And there she was.

Pride welled up within him and he couldn’t help the smile on his face as he looked up at her. He did this. He got them their bodies back. He said he would do it and he did it. He felt like the sun, he felt like pure gold. 

When Winry launched into their arms and knocked them over he didn’t even think about his arm because here was Winry. Arms and armfulls of her. And true to his promise as well, she finally cried, this time, tears of joy.

 

The rest of the evening was spent with Winry laughing and crying in equal measure, sometimes at the same time. Al caught them up on their adventures since Winry and them parted ways, thankfully only sticking to the more hopeful and exciting details of their journey and keeping out the more worrisome ones. Most of this was done with Al seated on the ground petting Den with a smile on his face that was simply contagious.

Ed sank into a seat at the table watching Winry putter around the kitchen getting started on dinner. He tuned Al out, Winry’s movements loud enough to drown out even a train whistle from his senses. The way she reached and lifted, the way she created with her hands. Just like automail, here she was, creating life for them all by making dinner. He rested his chin on his hands on the table and his eyelids became heavy with the comforting sounds and smell of the home around him.

***

“Wake up you goober!” Ed was awakened by Winry bonking the top of his head with a dinner plate. 

“Ow! Hey, watch where you’re waving that thing, ya could have killed me!” His head was pounding and he felt flushed, he told himself it was from the warmth of the kitchen and not the telltale signs of a fever. Winry only giggled and finished setting out the plates.

 It was a magnificent spread, even for the short notice. Meat, and side dishes, and every wonderful thing that you just couldn’t find out on the road, let alone in a mess hall, or the hospital. But the real star of the show was Alphonse. 

Sitting just next to him, Ed’s brother was a mix of awe and trepidation, eyes as big as saucers and almost holding his breath. 5 years too late, but Al was finally back in his body.

“Let’s dig in!” He reached across his plate to pick up his fork with his left hand, and heard Winry’s fork clatter back down onto her plate. 

“Ed, is your automail broken? Why didn’t you say anything?”

Al gasped and smacked his forehead. “I can’t believe I forgot to mention it! Brother got his arm back too!” Edward tried to ignore the light that lit up Winry’s face. “He hasn’t been using it much, says he’s not used to having it back yet.”

Granny leaned back in her chair, “Well, we ought to get you started on some exercises tomorrow Ed.”

“Why didn’t you mention your arm sooner, this is great! Let’s see it!”

“Ahh, no, no, we are at the dinner table and it’s just skin and bones, really.” He talked over a mouthful of roast that felt more like sand in his mouth. “You know, being locked away for 5 years in another plane of existence will do that, haha!” Winry narrowed her eyes. “Really it’s unsightly, it would be bad manners!” Unsightly? He mentally hit himself over the head. Al was sitting right next to him, beautiful flesh and blood back from the same place his arm came from, and he was going to call it unsightly?

He could feel Granny staring him down. “You’ve never been one for manners, pipsqueak.” If things weren’t already going bad enough, he couldn’t even bring himself to take the bait. Normally he would go off on the old hag, but that particular insult rang in his groggy head in the perfect echo of Envy’s voice. His mind started to drift to other places before he even realized Winry had gotten up from the table and was making her way towards him.

He shot up clumsily and the world had a lovely black vignette, a cheap high, but he managed to step out from his place at the table and away from Winry, “Woah, what are you doing?”
“Just let me see your arm Ed,” she exasperatedly tried to reach for his sleeve.

“No, it’s not ready yet!” His eardrums pounded out his heartbeat, why couldn’t they just leave it alone, this wasn’t how it was supposed to go.

“Not ready yet? Ed, what are you talking about?”

“Brother, you’re being rude!”

Everyone was staring at him and he couldn’t THINK STRAIGHT!

“I’m not upset about you losing your automail if that’s what you’re so-- Ed, are you feeling alright?”

No, no he was not feeling alright thank you very much. He was light headed and sweating and everyone wouldn’t stop staring at him! Winry came closer and Ed had nowhere left to go, back to the wall, but instead of his arm, she reached for his head. 

She took her hand away from his forehead and her own, “You have a fever.” 

Well, that explained some things. 

Granny let out a small sigh. “It didn’t take, did it?” 

Ice ran cold in his veins and he felt like all the mass in his body was down near his boots. He was frozen for a while, zoning out in the stare he held with Granny, but he finally shook it when Winry tried again to reach for his arm.

“It’s fine,” he side stepped away from her. “I’m working on it, I’m just not used to it yet is all.” Everyone's eyes followed him nonetheless. “I said I’m working on it. It’s fine,” he let out with a bit more bite than he intended. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to bed.” 

“Brother!”

How he managed to get out of the room and up the stairs with his vision so blacked out was beyond him, but he didn’t stop till he closed the bedroom door behind him. The door closed with a bit more force than necessary and he hoped he didn’t seem childish. 

This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. 

 

Notes:

I don't remember writing this, but I really popped off with the Ed x Winry didn't I? lol even when Not writing about Ed x WInry I can't help but make him hopelessly in love can I?