Work Text:
Sykkuno felt...fine.
He did. Nothing was wrong. Not that he could really pinpoint. Like sure, things had added up a little, but that was no big deal. He had no reason to be having a bad day. And yet-
And yet.
Well, that was the thing, wasn't it? He didn't have any one particular reason to be having a bad day, and yet he was. And the worst thing was that it was happening while he was streaming, and it was really hard to hide it from his viewers. They were too perceptive. And he was surprised his friends didn't hear the crack in his voice, but they must not have, because they yelled at him. And normally that was fine, normally that was just their dynamic, and it was okay, but today it really, really wasn't.
Especially not when it was because of his jokes. He just- he just wanted to make people laugh. That's what he was good at. Wasn't it? But maybe it wasn't. Maybe he'd never been funny all along and this was their way of letting him know. Maybe-
He took a deep breath and shut his camera off, muting himself at the same time.
"Technical glitch," he whispered to himself, feeling the first tears blur his vision. On the screen, Ludwig danced around his green bean body, guarding him from anyone else that might try to kill him. He appreciated it through the wash of tears. It was nice. Ludwig was a good friend.
Rae and Toast were good friends, too, they just didn't realize. He was sure they would probably apologize later, if they noticed. He hoped no one went from his stream to theirs, to tell him that he was sad. He didn't want anyone to know he was sad! It wasn't a big deal! It was- it was-
His phone buzzed. He looked at it in surprise. He wasn't expecting anybody to message him, not while he was on stream. Then again, he had shut off his camera. With trembling fingers, he retrieved it.
Corpse: Hey, Sykkuno? You okay?
Sykkuno: I'm fine :) Why?
Corpse: Your camera shut off... and you looked upset?
Sykkuno: Oh, um, it's a tech issue, that's all :) Sorry to make you worry! I just wanted to make everyone laugh and it didn't work, nbd.
A meeting was called before he could see what Corpse replied with. He didn't really say anything in the meeting. Ludwig fiercely defended him. He almost didn't mind when he was killed in game. He didn't have to worry about the meetings anymore, at least.
"I might call it a night after this round," he said out loud. A light on his phone blinked, assuring him he had unread messages. With his camera back on, he didn't dare check. If Corpse was watching his stream, then he would understand, right? Sykkuno hoped so.
It was a relief when he finally stopped streaming. The tension in his shoulders eased as he snagged his phone, swiping his messages open with one finger.
Corpse: Are you sure?
Corpse: I mean, uh, I don't wanna overstep or make you uncomfortable. Just. If you ever wanna talk, I'm here.
Corpse: Okay?
Sykkuno: Thanks, Corpse. :) You're a great friend.
Tears filled his vision again, burning the corners of his eyes.
So naturally, a knock came at his door.
"Sykkuno?" Toast called through the wood. "Is there a reason my chat says you've been crying?" He sounded concerned and fresh tears bubbled up before Sykkuno could blurt out something reassuring. Instead, a sob broke free and he buried his face in his hands, muffling it as best as he could. Through a crack between his fingers, he watched the door creak open.
"Sorry," Toast said. It sounded mostly sincere. "Just uh." He scratched the back of his neck. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"
"N-nothing," he stammered out, scrubbing his eyes with both hands. "It's no-nothing, you don't have to worry about me, I promise-" Toast sighed.
"But I am worried about you," he enunciated. "Chat said you were crying, Sykkuno."
"Technically my camera was off so they don't know that," he mumbled. Toast still caught it.
"You turned your camera off?" He demanded. Sykkuno reddened.
"Would you believe it was a technical glitch?" He tried. Toast rolled his eyes and shook his head. Sykkuno slumped. "Yeah, I don't think Corpse believed that, either," he muttered.
"You were talking to Corpse?" Toast asked. Sykkuno nodded.
"He uh, he was watching my stream," Sykkuno explained. "But I told him I'm fine. It's no big deal. Some jokes just don't land right, that's all."
"Some...Sykkuno, what's wrong?" Toast persisted. Sykkuno gave him a watery smile.
"I just....it's so stupid," he mumbled. Toast sat down next to him.
"No, it's not," Toast said. "Not if it's made you this upset, Sykkuno."
"I just um," Sykkuno swallowed. "I just wanted to make everyone laugh, that's all. It didn't work. And I- I've been having a bad day, I guess. It's not your fault!" He hastened to reassure his friend. "You- you didn't do anything wrong, I just. Bad day. Yeah." He stared at his lap until Toast shocked him by pulling him into a hug.
"I'm sorry I yelled at you," Toast said. "I didn't realize-"
"Yeah, I know," Sykkuno said hurriedly. "It's fine, I swear. But, um. Thank you." He peeked up at Toast, who smiled and hugged him a little tighter before letting him go.
"Maybe you should talk to Corpse some more," Toast suggested. Sykkuno smiled, a little lopsided but there.
"Maybe I should, yeah," he said. As Toast left, he picked up his phone.
You're a great friend, too, Sykkuno. :)
Thanks. I uh, I have something to tell you. About today, I mean. It wasn't... It wasn't a tech issue. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lied. I shut it off on purpose so no one would see me cry. But I'm okay now. Toast came and asked me how I'm doing, and he said I should tell you too, and uh, well, I think I should, too. If um, if that's okay.
Of course it's okay, Corpse's response came immediately. What's up?
Sniffling and grabbing a Kleenex to blow his nose. Sykkuno settled down on his bed, ready to tell Corpse what had happened that day.