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I noticed it all during the night. His leg twitching, his fingers running over my sides, his muscles tensing. He had been awake most of the night, turning and twisting until it tired him out so heavily that he finally fell asleep.
He had anxiety coursing through his veins. "Sweetheart.." I finally whispered, waking up somewhere around 4 am, needing to help him.
He had awakened once again, and his body was restlessly moving around. "Go back to sleep." He whispered, his lips connection with my hair and stroking the skin on my stomach.
"Something's on your mind." I murmured, turning myself so I could face him. His eyes were moving rapidly and I could feel his heart beating through his chest.
"Just go back to sleep." His eyes filled with an edge of water as he tried to close my eyes.
"No, I'm not going back to sleep. You're not alright, and I need to know what's going on." I moved my hand to turn on the light beside our bed, my eyes still staring into his.
"Tell me Jug." I ordered, my hands cupping his cheek.
"Betts, please.."
"Jughead." He inhaled sharply, turning to face me completely.
"I don't know, it's everything and it's nothing and it's just my head making things bigger than they are. I don't want to keep you up hon, you should get rest, I'll be fine." My face softened and I laid my hand on his cheek.
"Come, get up." I whispered, standing up and gently pulling him with me. He frowned, attempting to pull me back. "Trust me."
He grumbled some words but got up anyway. I pulled one of his sweaters over my head and made sure he put a vest on before taking his hand again.
"You need your rest, hon, we should go back."
"Hush." I told him and lead him up the stairs until we're on the top floor of the hotel.
"Betts, where-" He stopped talking when I opened a small door and a gust of wind blew in our faces. "We're on the roof."
"I know." I giggled and pulled him outside. The cold wind made me shiver and he pulled me flush against him. "Lay down." I whispered by his ear.
"We're on the roof, I'm not going to—" I broke his sentence.
"Lay down." As I laid down myself first, he made some gruffly noises before laying beside me. As soon as he was looking up at the sky I could hear a small breath of relief roll over his lips.
"It's pretty, isn't it?"
"I like the stars," He told me.
I shot him a small smile, "I know."
"They inspire me, you know."
"Yes," I laughed, "I know."
"But, get this," He threw.
"What?"
"The stars themselves, don't inspire me."
"Hmm?"
"It's who makes me curious about those stars," He said and suddenly I could feel his eyes on me, "It's the one who gave me the courage to look up at the sky and wonder."
"And who would that be?"
"You." A grin fell over his lips, and it warmed my heart. "Thanks for taking me here."
"You weren't okay, Jug, and I'm here for you. You're not alone anymore." My hand fell on top of his and our fingers laced together.
"I love you." He whispered, pulling me against him and pressing a gentle kiss on my lips.
"I love you too." I giggled, my hands tangling in his hair.
His lips grazed soft kisses over my jawline until he reached my neck. I arched against his mouth, sighing with pleasure. "We should sleep. Big day tomorrow."
"I'm not in the mood for sleeping." I could feel his grin against my neck as his hands slipped under my top.
I laughed, but didn't protest anymore.
—
When I woke the next morning, warm sheets tucked around me, Jughead was gone. I frowned, sitting up in the warm cocoon of blankets.
"Jug?" I stood up, walking to the bathroom but it was all silent. As I sauntered to the kitchen I found a note.
went for a run.
be back before we have to leave.
love you, j
I smiled, turning on the coffee pot and settling myself on the couch. An aggressive knock on the door startled me from my position and I jumped to reach the door.
Outside stood Jughead, his hands trembling, his legs twitching. "I-I d-don't k-know what's—" I didn't hesitate to wrap my arms around him and pull him into our apartment.
"You're panicking. Just try to relax." I've never held anyone whose body was shaking so violently. His breathing was high and sharp, tears coming down his cheeks and his pulse wild.
"I-I-I d-don't.." He trailed off.
"Breathe with me, hon." I whispered by his ear, trying to move us to the bed. His fingers gripped my shirt in desperation. Gently I sat us down on the edge of the bed. I felt his face bury into my hair, wetting it with his tears.
"I love you." He mumbled against me. His fingers reach under my top until he felt my skin touch his. The skin to skin contact seemed to calm him.
The tension left his body and he relaxed against me. Carefully he moved his head from my neck, his mouth searching for mine. There was a slight tremble in his lips as he kissed me, but I didn't try to pay attention to it. Instead I focused on his frantic kisses to my mouth and his desperate grip on my waist.
After a few minutes I could tell exhaustion was taking over his body and I tenderly pulled back from his lips. "You're okay."
"Thank you." He whispered, gazing into my eyes as if I was the only person left on earth. I reached up to brush a few left over tears off his cheek.
"You want to talk about what happened?" He shook his head, laying down and dragging me to lay down beside him.
He turned me and then pulled me against him, so my back is pressed against his front. "We should get some sleep before we leave for Riverdale, didn't do much of that last night." I could tell he was trying to lighten the mood and not mention his frenzied panic.
"Jug, can we—" He broke my sentence.
"Sleep." He pressed a long kiss to my hair and I couldn't help as the exhaustion overcame my body. Listening to the sound of his slow pulse and nuzzling into his warmth, I fell into a nice slumber.
—
We were awakened by the blaring of an alarm. Jughead’s grip left my waist and he slammed on the clock.
"We have to get up." I breathed, barely able to form a coherent thought as I snuggled myself against his radiating heat. "Come on." His whisper is decisive and with a swift movement, he got up.
A cold shiver ran over my body when his warmth left me. "I want to sleep." I whined, wrapping the sheets around me, "it's cold."
"Riverdale is waiting for us, hon." He laughed, unwrapping the sheets from my body and lifting me up in his arms. "We're going to miss our flight."
"Well maybe.." I trailed off, unsure of whether to speak my thoughts. He set me down in a chair by the kitchen, a frown in his brows.
"What?"
"Maybe we shouldn't go. You've had two panic attacks in the last 24 hours, I don't think it's safe to—" He stopped me before I could continue.
"I'm fine, Betty." I looked at him, raising my eyebrows.
"Are you sure? Maybe we should call your therapist to ask—"
"No." I could tell he was getting annoyed.
"But maybe he can prescribe you some meds before—"
"No, Betts, I'm not going back on those meds. They made me tired and moody and I lost myself in them. Can we please just, eat something and head to the airport, everyone will be waiting for us." I stared at him for some time, trying to figure him out.
"I'm just worried." I breathed out eventually. A small smile broke through on his lips.
"I know, hon," He said, gesturing for me to sit on his lap. I complied without protest. "I know it's been hard these last few days, I don't know why or what is happening, but if you're here with me, I know I'll be fine." His words made me melt in his arms, my head turning to face him.
"Alright then." I agreed eventually, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips.
"Now eat." He ordered and grabbed his fork to feed me. I giggled but let him feed me bite by bite.
When we were done eating we both got dressed, grabbed our stuff and drove to the airport.
Throughout the way there his hand was settled on my thigh, holding onto me. "You sure you okay?"
His eyes didn't leave the road as he answered. "I'm really fine, Betts." When he noticed I didn't believe him, he carefully turned to look at me. "I promise." He whispered before facing the road again.
Arriving at the airport, we had to rush to catch the plane. Once we were all settled in our seats and our bagage safely sorted, the plane went up.
I noticed his twitching leg almost immediately after the plane took of. I gazed up to him but he had his eyes closed. Instead of talking to him, because I had lots to say, I placed my hand on his leg.
I could sense his twitches started to slow. He settled his hand on top of mine, squeezing my fingers. "Jug?"
His eyes opened. He hummed.
"I'm here."
"That's all I need."