Chapter Text
There was a rumor going around. Rumors were a dime a dozen in Yharnam, of course - Yharnamites would gossip about even the most trivial of things - but this particular rumor stood out.
Somewhere within the city was a small shop. It was a simple little shop, completely ordinary in every way. However, word on the street was that it harbored a secret; supposedly, it was being used as a front...
...for an illicit blood-trading operation.
But not just any blood, no - this blood was special. Highly refined and powerfully intoxicating, it was better in every way than the blood that the Church simply handed out for free. And for only a mere handful of coins per vial, one could get their hands on this blood of exquisite quality at a modest price.
The Church, understandably, was not very happy about this when it reached their ears. That someone was possibly profiting off of the Good Blood on their streets, under their very noses...it was unacceptable.
A rumor of this caliber could not go ignored.
And so, the Church opted to investigate. The best way to accomplish this, they figured, was to send out a group to take care of the situation. However, a task of this sort couldn't be handled by just anyone, and as such, the group was only comprised of higher-ranking members of the Church.
The group met early the next morning to discuss how best to handle the investigation. Yharnam was a rather large city, so it was quickly agreed upon that the group would split up to search the shops. After each member was designated a section of the city to investigate, they all went their separate ways.
Among this group was a young woman by the name of Agatha. Recently promoted to the position of a senior nun, and thus having proven her worth to the Church, there was no doubt that she was competent enough to be involved with the investigation. In fact, Agatha had already managed to clear several shops of any wrongdoing. The owners were all totally willing to let her look around, and she hadn't noticed anything suspicious, so she had no trouble finding them trustworthy. This is easier than I thought it would be, she mused. She had originally feared that this would take all day to do, but it had actually only taken a couple of hours or so. Just one more shop to check and she would be done with her task. Then, the plan was to regroup with the others back at the cathedral and discuss their findings.
Finally arriving in front of the last shop, she looked up at the sign hanging above the door, reading "Patches' Trinket Galore".
She raised an eyebrow. "'Patches'? What a peculiar name..."
Walking in, a small bell jingled above her head as she stepped inside. A man - the owner, most likely - called to her from somewhere deeper within the shop, telling her he would be with her in a moment. Taking a look around, she saw several tables and shelves stocked with antiques, knick-knacks, and all sorts of things. Upon getting a closer look at some of the items, she noted that they appeared to be in various states of wear. Perhaps this place was some sort of second-hand shop? Walking over to one of the tables, she picked up a small cloth doll and looked it over. It was a little raggedy, but otherwise seemed like a normal doll.
"Interested?" someone inquired over her shoulder. She whirled around and found herself face-to-face with the remarkably-large nose of a tall, thin, and...very bald man. "Although," he continued, raising an equally-hairless eyebrow, a playful smirk on his face. "I think you're a little too old to be playing with dolls, love."
She blinked and stuttered for a moment, glanced down at the doll in her hand, then put it back where she found it, clearing her throat to regain her composure. "Just looking." she said. "Are you the owner?"
"Why, yes, I am!"
"So that means you must be, er...'Patches'?"
"The one and only!" He bowed gentlemanly, flourishing with a dramatic gesture, then stood straight, clasping his hands together and flashing her a smile. "How can I help you, darling?"
The pet name caught her off guard again; she wasn't used to being referred to in such a manner at all. "...Well, I'm from the Church, as you can surely tell." she explained, gesturing at her white robes.
"Yes, I noticed..." he mumbled, looking her over. "So, what can I do for the Church?"
She hesitated. Something about the way he was scrutinizing her made her vaguely uncomfortable, but she tried to brush it off as just nerves; he had every right to be curious about a member of the Church suddenly showing up. "We're investigating all the shops in the city." she finally replied. "May I take a look around?"
"Hm...?" He was seemingly distracted as he analyzed her, but then recognition hit. "Oh!" he laughed. "Yes, of course! I'm not sure what you could be looking for, but feel free to have a gander!" he said, arm extended, inviting her to the rest of the shop. "I run a perfectly legitimate business; I have nothing to hide."
She was inclined to believe him at first. But...then he chuckled. Lowly. Under his breath. A sly glint in his dark, beady eyes. Face split in a wide, toothy smile that, while it originally appeared warm and friendly, now seemed much more like the devious grin of a man with a trick hiding up his sleeve. Despite his best efforts, his sharp features were betraying him.
Agatha couldn't help thinking that she might have found the person they were looking for.
At that moment, the bell above the door jingled again as someone else entered the shop. "Ah, a customer!" Patches exclaimed, jester-like grin still plastered on his face. "Pardon me, love, this will only take a moment. Again, feel free to look around!" And with that, he promptly left her to go speak with the customer. While he was busy doing that, Agatha took the liberty of checking out the shop. She found nothing out of the ordinary, however. Ornaments, children's toys, hats, parasols - nothing that aroused any suspicion. Perhaps she had misinterpreted Patches' behavior?
Then, whilst wandering around the shop, she overheard a conversation between Patches and the customer.
"Anything else I can help you with?"
"Yeah, can I take a look in the back?"
"Certainly, my friend! I think you'll like what I have in store for you."
Agatha paused. That was a curious exchange. What could be in the back?
Hearing footsteps approaching, she ducked behind a shelf. Daring a peek around it after they passed, she saw Patches and the customer heading to the back of the shop. She decided to follow them, using the shelves as cover, and watched as they stopped at a door labelled "spare goods". Patches took a key ring out of his pocket and, after flipping through the keys that were on it, found the one to the door and unlocked it. Stepping aside, he allowed the customer to enter first, following in afterwards and shutting the door behind him.
So he keeps that room locked...
Surely he must be hiding something in there? Perhaps she wasn't mistaken after all.
Eventually, Patches and the customer returned, the latter now holding a small drawstring bag in his hand, and made their way back to the front of the shop. The customer paid for his purchase, said goodbye, and left. Patches counted the handful of coins he had been given, chuckled to himself as he jingled them in his hand, then put them away at the till. Agatha stepped out from behind the shelf and approached him, clearing her throat to get his attention. He turned to her and smiled. "Oh, you're still here! Need something, m'love?"
Taken aback once again, she stuttered before finding her words. "I-I would like to take a look in that spare room back there, if it isn't too much trouble."
"Of course, darling!" he chirped. "I'm happy to help in any way that I can!"
Well, that was easy.
Too easy...
He led her to the back, opened the door for her, then stepped aside, hand extended to the room. "Ladies first~"
"Quite the gentleman..." she mumbled, entering the room with Patches following close behind her. It was smaller than the main part of the shop, and only had a couple of shelves in it, each stocked with shiny objects of varying kinds.
"Welcome to storage - or the 'Treasure Trove', as I like to call it! This is where I keep all the things that I don't want getting stolen." Patches explained.
"Yes, a reasonable concern to have. Thievery is still an issue even in this part of the city, unfortunately..."
"Yeah, I learned that the hard way..." he sighed. "There was an incident about, oh...maybe a month ago, where some bastard had broken in during the night and took some necklaces, and a week or two before that I'd caught a girl pocketing a ring - in plain daylight, if you can believe it - so I decided enough was enough, 'fool me once' and all that, and moved all the jewelry and whatnot back here; this way, I can keep a closer eye on things and make sure nothing gets snatched out from under my nose. Can't make a profit if I've got nothing to sell, right?"
She nodded. It made perfect sense to her. "Of course, good idea. Have you seen any sort of suspicious activity otherwise?"
He hummed in thought, mulling it over. "I don't think so..." Eventually reaching a conclusion, he shrugged. "Yeah, no, nothing out of the ordinary."
"I see..."
Agatha began looking over the shelves. Just as he said, there were rings, bracelets, necklaces, some brooches, and even a few ornate jewelry boxes. Anyone could understand his particular caution with these items - it all looked quite valuable.
Then, feeling a presence behind her back, she realized that Patches was looming over her shoulder again. "If you see anything you like, just let me know." he said. "I'll even offer you a discount, since you're a new customer~"
By the gods, did this man have no concept of personal space?
Agatha sidestepped away from him. "That's very kind of you, but I'll have to pass; I am here on official Church business only."
Patches shook his head, tutting, "What a pity..."
After scanning over the room one more time, Agatha turned to Patches. "I think I'm satisfied with my investigation." she announced. "I'll be leaving now."
"Oh, alright. I'll see you out, then."
They left the room and reentered the main part of the shop, Patches locking the door behind them before following Agatha to the front of the shop. When she turned to bid him farewell, he suddenly spoke, "Er, if you don't mind my asking...just what is it that the Church is interested in? Why are they investigating the shops?"
Agatha paused, furrowing her brow as she internally debated how to explain the situation without revealing too much information. There really wasn't much she was allowed to divulge. "...I'm not at liberty to say."
Patches seemed quite intrigued by that. He leaned down towards her, voice lowered, brow quirked, head tilted in curiosity. "Really? Well, that's intriguing... I'm afraid you've only further piqued my interest, darling."
He really did have no concept of personal space.
She leaned away from him, holding up her hand to create a barrier between them. "I'm sorry, but I really can't tell you. Your cooperation was very much appreciated. Good day."
But as she was about to step out the door, he stopped her again. "Wait, just one more thing!"
She resisted the urge to sigh and looked back at him, her impatience evident in the sideways glare she was sending his way. "Yes?"
"May I know your name, love?" he asked.
She turned to face him fully and regarded him for a moment before answering. "Agatha."
"A lovely name for a lovely lady." he said, grinning widely. "Well, it was a pleasure to meet you, darling~ I hope you'll come again soon!"
She thought about it (whilst trying her best to ignore his blatant flirting). She had to admit that she was still a little curious. There was something about this man that just seemed...off. If she were to approach him under less formal circumstances, she might be able to get more information out of him. He seemed like the kind of person who knew things that could be beneficial to the investigation, and thus, the Church. "...Perhaps I will."
Patches grinned even wider, if such a thing were possible. "Splendid! I'll look forward to your next visit~"
Agatha returned the smile, but the moment she turned away from him her face twisted into a grimace. She certainly wouldn't be looking forward to it.
After leaving the shop, she thought about what had transpired. It was a very strange experience indeed, and she couldn't honestly say that Patches had made a good first impression upon her. Despite - or even because of - the friendly (and, ugh, flirty) façade, she couldn't help but feel that there was something darker hiding beneath the surface.
Yes, now she was certain.
She would definitely have to pay him another visit.