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"you know, what if all this" he made a move with his hands to symbolise everything, "just is a dream? some weird nightmare we all have, and when we die, we wake up" his eyes stared on a random spot outside the window. his eyes looked so dead, and his voice sounded so bitter and tired of it all. it broke my heart to see him like this, he just wasn't like the real donghyuck anymore. the real one would always be cheerful, happy and especially supportive. the new hyuck was so.. dead inside? and it's like some part of me died with him.
fuck.. how did all of this even happen?
he went quiet some months ago, then his eyes bekame darker day by day, and now.. this happened.
he asked me to come with him to the rooftop of the house he lived in, so i came. he hugged me as a hello. that day ended in the most beautiful sunset i had ever seen. it looked like all the warm colours that existed were splashed onto the fluffy looking clouds, while all the lights in the city burned already. "isn't the view beautiful?" he asked, as we sat down by the railing. i just nodded and had all of a sudden the urge to hold his hand, so i did. that move made him tense at first, but then he relaxed again. i watched his pretty face, as a single tear rolled down his cheek. i wanted to say something comforting, something heartwarming, but i couldn't manage to, so i just looked at him in a half worried, half loving way.
"i've pictured this moment so many times, went through all the scenarios at night, when i couldn't sleep, but it never was this beautiful. who would've thought i would feel something else than emptiness in my last night alive?" he laughed bitterly, as two more tears, one in each eye, started to roll down his rosy cheeks. i held his hand a bit tighter, but i still couldn't speak, this time out of shock though.
he slowly turned his head to me, looked right into my eyes and spoke: "i love you, renjun, but i can't take all of this anymore. i really can't" he made a short pause but then continued, "remember when i told you about that 'what if we live in a dream'-thing? the only way to find out is to wake up. to die. goodbye renjun, i'll miss you. i'll really do" he whispered the last three words and then he crawled through under the railing.