Chapter Text
Run, run. Get away, don’t turn back.
Midoriya ran as fast as he could. He had no destination in mind, he just knew he had to get away. He ran from everything, from his childhood friend, from his teacher, from the pain and misery, the fear, the panic, he ran from what he had done, from what he had become.
Izuku… I love you…
Midoriya ran away from that memory, he ran away from her awfully still body, from her unseeing eyes.
I don’t want to do this… I’m sorry…
Midoriya ran away from his teacher, from the man who had tested him and decided that he wasn’t completely helpless. From the man that dragged him away from his mother’s corpse.
You’re a hero… You did your best, I’m sure of it…
Midoriya ran away from those heterochrome eyes. From the tenderness in that gaze, he ran from his best friend, that kid who believed in him too much. And yet, hadn’t believed in him enough. That had kept secrets from him. That had lied.
We will keep fighting…
Midoriya ran from that kind man. From the man who had chosen him from a sea of better suited future heroes, who had believed that Midoriya was strong enough to handle such immense weight. Who had stood by Midoriya’s side, and now was so abruptly gone.
You’re useless, you know that?
Midoriya ran from those angry explosions. He ran from the kid who had made his life a living hell. Who he had admired for so long, the kid he had yearned to be like. The embodiment of victory…
What did that make Midoriya?
The embodiment of defeat. Of failure, of loss.
He ran away from those angry red eyes, that for a moment, for just a small insignificant moment, had looked at Midoriya with something that closely resembled pride. Back there, for just a moment, Bakugou had almost seemed… Proud of him.
But now, all Midoriya could see was the fear in that gaze. Fear… Of him.
And anger.
Midoriya ran, running from the memories that surfaced. Years of pain at the hands of the kid he called his childhood friend.
Loser.
Trash.
Useless.
Idiot.
Midoriya ran, he ran as fast as he could. When his lungs felt like fire, when his legs felt like lead, he kept running.
Quirkless.
Midoriya collapsed.
He fell to his knees, gasping for air. He didn’t know where he was, he vaguely wondered if he was far enough. Something inside of him begged him to stand up and keep running. Perhaps if he ran fast enough, for long enough, he could outrun everything.
Stop lying to yourself.
Midoriya slowly picked himself back up and kept running. He ran away from the lies, from the truth, from everything. His body failed him again, he went tumbling not shortly after. Midoriya slowly tried to stand up again. He had to keep running, he had to get up…
Midoriya… What have you done?
He stumbled forward. He was in an unknown part of town, a dangerous place he usually strayed from. It was quiet. It would have been peaceful, had it not been absolutely eerie. Midoriya could feel the ghosts of his past gazing down at him, judging his every move. Watching in disappointment, disapproving of his actions.
Midoriya… What… Have you done?
As if things weren’t bad enough already, it began to drizzle. Midoriya fell to his knees one last time, unable to get up again. He felt an awful sense of dread, a weight building in his core. His body wouldn’t obey, he stayed in that position, kneeling, hugging himself… He felt sick.
What… Have you done?
He wished it would be over soon, he wished it was a nightmare. Everything from the moment he got up to go to the bathroom and saw the news in his phone. He wanted to wake up already.
Midoriya… What have you done?
“I don’t know!” He yelled into the empty street, his voice hoarse. “Shut up, shut up!” Midoriya shut his eyes, but he could see it clearly. He could see Bakugou standing a few feet away, his face betraying fear.
Midoriya…
“Stop it!” Midoriya yelled, folding further into himself. “It was an accident! I didn’t mean… I didn’t mean to do it!” He had never meant to hurt anyone. He just wanted to help All Might. “I’m sorry!” Midoriya yelled, as if somehow someone out there was listening. As if the universe could forgive him for what he had done. He had been so convinced he was doing the right thing. He had been so convinced he was a hero. “Please, I didn’t…”
Midoriya broke into sobs. His tears were washed away by the drizzle that soon turned to rain.
He stayed there for a while, until his body seemed to work properly again. By the time he stood back up, everything felt numb. His thoughts had quieted down, his memories were pushed back. Even his body was physically numb from the cold of the rain. Everything that had happened faded away, he had to focus on making a plan.
He couldn’t go back, but he didn’t have anywhere else to go. What was he supposed to do?
I need a plan.
Midoriya began to walk. He had nothing but his hero costume, his phone and wallet right now, everything else was back at UA, a place he could never show his face at again.
His fear made way into determination. Right now, he didn’t have time to break down. He needed to move. Surely there was a way out of this. There had to be a way to make things right.
He wasn’t a villain.
He was a hero.