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what can it do (that i can't)

Summary:

“What could the Egg do for me that I couldn’t do for myself, Bad?” Techno grins, leaning forward, “I’m Technoblade.”

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Technoblade has always been good at striking fear into the hearts of those who oppose him. It seems that he did not lose that trait during his retirement, Bad notes. He ponders the anarchist’s behavior during the journey to the Egg. 

 

The Blade had acted innocently enough. His insistence on bringing that polar bear, Steve, was unexpected, but ultimately did not have any impact on the Egg’s plans. It did, however, disguise Technoblades tendency to look behind him. At the time, Bad had simply thought that the man was keeping an eye on his bear, not wanting to get the lead stuck on anything. Now, he knows that they were being followed, and Technoblade had been checking on Ranboo throughout the trip while simultaneously convincing Bad that he was seeing things.

 

He had only really shown true resistance and caution when Ranboo was found out, staging a distraction and giving the half-enderman time to escape. Of course, nothing had come of it, but it was certainly notable. Bad could tell that the Egg would find this information useful, so he would be sure to remember it.

 

As Bad sits at the front of a table, once again trying to reason with Technoblade, he can see how so many people have fallen at the hands of this man. He sits with a lazy grace, and an aura of roiling power surrounds him. Bad feels like he is being threatened by merely having those red eyes focused on him, but he maintains his calm with the help of the Egg. Ranboo sits beside the anarchist, seemingly unbothered by the air of malice. Even Puffy sees it, keeping her distance on the left side of the table.

 

“So, Techno, you’ve been to see the Egg first hand now, right?” Bad says, “You’ve heard what it has to offer.”

 

“Not particularly. You’d think if it had something to offer, it would speak something I could understand , y’know?” Technoblade tilts his head as he speaks. Bad bristles at the blatant disrespect, but reminds himself that these are prospective allies for the Egg. Once they join it, they’ll treat it properly.

 

“Well… it made you a pretty good offer. Anything you want. Absolutely anything , as long as you join us,” Bad says confidently. 

 

“I don’t really want anythin',” Techno rests his cheek on his hand, frowning, “it doesn’t really have anythin' to offer me.”

 

“Your heart’s desire! Come on, you have to want something . Pick something.”

 

“Mm, I guess I could get another fox?” He says, “And then breed my two foxes… someone stole my fox, you know.” Ranboo nods, completely serious.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Stole both of them, too. Who does that? Anyway, unless your egg is like… a fox egg, I don’ see how this is gonna work out.”

 

“Ah, well what if it gave you multiple foxes?” Bad proposes.

 

“I suppose if it was a large fox,” Techno entertains, before he smiles, “I am a fan of large animals, as you can see.”

 

“Yeah… I can see that,” Bad shifts on his feet, suddenly uncomfortable with the way Steve is looking at him, “I- well. Techno, you’re the most powerful person on this server. It would be a huge asset to have you on board!”

 

“That’s kind of suspicious, you gotta admit. What does the Egg even want?”

 

“It wants- well, it’s simple. It wants everything .” 

 

“That’s a bit much. You might want to think about what you’re askin’ from me,” Technoblade raises his eyebrows, perhaps astounded by the ultimate goal of the Eggpire.

 

“The Egg can do anything for you, Techno,” Bad insists, “It just needs people. And you don’t like people, right?”

 

“Ranboo is alright. So is Philza.”

 

“But other people. You don’t like the people who you don’t like. You wouldn’t mind if somebody you didn’t like had something happen to them, right?”

 

“That is true.” 

 

“What?” Puffy objects.

 

“Well, he isn’t wrong, I don’t like people who I don’t like,” Technoblade reasons, shrugging. Puffy rolls her eyes.

 

“Right! The people you don’t like, the Egg will take care of them.”

 

“I’m rather confident that I could do that myself,” Techno says, skeptical, “Look, you’re really just offerin’ me the same thing over and over again. What else have you got?”

 

“You’re really making this hard for me, Technoblade.”

“Well, what could the Egg do for me that I couldn’t do for myself, Bad?” Techno grins, leaning forward. Steve places his head on the table and Techno tangles a hand in his fur, “I’m Technoblade .”

 

Notes:

ehh i don't like this too much. i wrote it really quick and then barely edited so it's disorganized as fuck. not completely unhappy with it though so that's something.