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"Your bag is overflowing, Tsukishima!" Hinata exclaimed. "Chocolates!"
Hinata was right, his bag looked like it just vomited a bunch of neatly packaged small pink and red boxes of both homemade and store-bought chocolates. There were also a few packed in varying plastic bags with hearts printed on it. Some bigger than others.
Kei liked sweets. He enjoyed them as some people did, but he also knew his own limit when it came to them. He wouldn't be able to eat all of the Valentine's Day chocolates that were given to him. Even if he could, it would take him days, and as much as he liked the idea of eating chocolates every day, he was probably going to get sick. And he didn't want to ruin his teeth either.
"There's so many! Even more than last year!" Hinata said.
He looked at the bag next to his feet on the floor. He could barely close the zipper up. This bag was supposed to be his training bag, and now it turned into a sack of unrequited affections.
He supposed he should feel bad, but he didn't. What could he do? He didn't want to hang people's hope of wanting to be with him over their heads like some shithead that he definitely wasn't. Every Winter in February was the same thing. Girls left chocolates on his desk or gave them in person, along with letters and words strung into a flustered confession, and he would turn them down, as gently as he could so that Winter wouldn't get even more colder for them.
He always tried his best to be kind in his rejection. That should count as something, right?
"Help yourselves," he said, looking at the club members. "Take as many as you want."
"Eh? Is it really okay, Tsukishima-san?" one of the first years, Higuchi, asked. "The girls gave them to you though."
Kei nodded his head. "There's no way that I can eat all of them, and besides they're mine now so I can share with whoever I want."
"It's okay, Higuchi-kun. Tsukishima-san did this last year, too." Their second year middle blocker, Kitajima, clapped Higuchi's back.
Kei watched as the younger members started to hog his bag with Hinata trying to slip his hand in between the other members to take some chocolates as well. Kei proceeded to change into his practice clothes when the door to the club room swung open.
He looked over his shoulder to see both Yamaguchi and Kageyama walking in.
"Hello." Yamaguchi smiled, followed by a quieter greeting from Kageyama behind him.
The members turned away from their chocolate raid to greet Yamaguchi and Kageyama. Hinata jumped up to his feet from his crouching position to point a finger at Yamaguchi. "Captain and vice captain are late!"
"Sorry," Yamaguchi said sheepishly. "I was waiting for Kageyama."
Kei turned around to look at Kageyama. "What could possibly preoccupy the King's attention other than volleyball?"
It wasn't unusual for Kageyama to arrive with Yamaguchi, especially now that they were captain and vice captain. They would meet up before practice to talk about strategies for the team and from there they would go to the club room together. Kei remembered how Hinata had complained about not being able to race Kageyama as often anymore. The only consolation that Hinata got was Kageyama telling him that they could still race to the gym.
However, it was unusual for Kageyama to be late. Usually he would be the first one, or the second one (if the stupid race between him and Hinata had to be taken into consideration) to arrive at the club room.
"I was talking to someone," Kageyama replied as he walked to his locker, taking off the blue scarf around his neck and changing into his practice clothes without offering more explanation.
Kei looked at Yamaguchi who for some reason avoided his gaze when their eyes met. The captain kept looking around the room, his eyebrows were furrowed in worry. This made Kei raise an eyebrow, and when he tried to ask Yamaguchi, the freckled boy zoomed to where the younger members were, telling them to not be too greedy and, "Didn't Hitoka give all of you chocolates already?"
Their underclassmen wouldn't be theirs if they didn't find something to say. "Eh, but Yachi-san gave you the nicest one, didn't she, Captain? Why?" one of them said. "It was bigger than our share. No fair," another one said.
Yamaguchi narrowed his eyes at them. "Maybe it's because we're dating?"
"Ah- Captain is showing off again."
"I want a girlfriend too!"
Kei ignored the cries of the underclassmen as his eyes found their way back to Kageyama who was listening to Hinata talk about how Hinata received some chocolates from the girls in his classroom and their underclassmen. Kageyama nodded his head as he shoved his stuff into the locker, but then a bright colored object fell out of the pocket of his uniform to the floor.
Kei's eyebrows raised up.
"Kageyama, someone gave you a chocolate?" He heard Hinata's voice.
Kageyama bent over to take the chocolate and shrugged. "Yeah."
"Oh, is that why you're late?" Hinata asked.
"Yeah."
"Who would've thought!" Hinata laughed. "Even with that haircut you still manage to get a girl to fall for you!"
The club room roared with a laugh as Kageyama kicked Hinata's shin, asking him what was so wrong with his haircut.
The day Kageyama showed up at school with his freshly cut bangs had been a loud fest of the members clowning Kageyama for his new haircut. It was mostly Hinata telling him to get some kind of a refund from the person who cut his hair, or to take his hair and plaster them back to his bangs. Despite of the jokes that were made, Kageyama had told them that he was proud of it because he had cut it himself, and it just fueled the laughter even more.
Kei wouldn't lie. He had laughed at Kageyama as well, but mostly at himself for still being head over heels for the setter even with the disaster of a haircut that he had brought upon himself.
Although Kei thought of it more as an amulet to ward off girls from ever getting close to Kageyama.
Clearly, it wasn't working. Maybe Kageyama had to chop his whole hair off.
"You hair looks like a bush caught on fire!" The members laughed, and Hinata snapped at them to stop. "And there was no girl!"
"Oh, stop it. Of course there was! She gave you the chocolate," Hinata said, petting his own wild orange hair.
Kageyama furrowed his eyebrows. "Uchida is a guy though."
The air stilled. Even the bird outside stopped the flapping of its wings, levitating and freezing in the air, like a glitch in a video game. Everyone's faces turned into a bad rendering, distorted and silly. Except for Kageyama, and Yamaguchi who was suspiciously wiping his sweating forehead.
"Uchida is a guy though."
Uchida was a guy.
A guy.
Who was this guy again?
Kei felt his eyebrows clipping together as he watched Kageyama shove the chocolate into the locker together with all of his things. Next to him, Hinata was turning his head to look at Kei, and the movement was so stiff and strained that Kei could hear the hinges creaking like an old rusty door.
Hinata went to open his mouth, but a hand shot up to cover it again. Kei followed the hand to find the owner, Yamaguchi Tadashi, smiling nervously.
"No," Yamaguchi said, still smiling, but his hand was pressing against Hinata's mouth.
"Ah!" Kitajima perked up. "Isn't he the super tall captain of the basketball team? Uchida-senpai!"
"Uchida Yuki!" another second year piped in excitedly. "I watched their games sometimes since my friend is a part of the team. Uchida-senpai is like, crazy good!"
"Whoa, Kageyama-san! He gave you the chocolate? Are the two of you close?" Higuchi asked, looking up at Kageyama.
The setter shrugged with nonchalant. "We're classmates. We talk sometimes."
"Eh? So he has a crush on you, Kageyama-san?" Kitajima snickered, and the rest of their underclassmen started to tease their vice captain as well.
What. The. Fuck.
Now Kei remembered who this little shit called Uchida was! That short haired, tanned, undeniably tall, and refreshingly friendly motherfucker that sometimes had to ask the volleyball team to share the gym with the basketball team for practice. How could Kei forget? Well, how could he not? Uchida wasn't important to him.
He really wasn't. But now his name was painted in a glaring red on the wall of his brain with sirens yelling on top of it. Uchida Yuki.
Even if Kageyama went bald, that probably wouldn't drive Uchida away. Maybe if Kageyama dyed his hair a strange color, like neon pink or something like that, it would make Uchida look the other way. Kei tried to imagine Kageyama with a bright pink hair.
Fuck. Kei thought he would still look nice.
But maybe Uchida wasn't into that. Maybe he didn't like people who had flashy appearances. Maybe. Kei didn't like it either, but it was Kageyama so he just liked it this time. Fuck.
"That's so great! Uchida-senpai is cool, good looking and tall- even taller than Tsukishima-san," Kitajima listed.
He felt like an elephant just took a shit on top of his head. A big ol' dung that weighted his confidence down. And there was the goddamn elephant dragging his confidence with its trunk against the concrete. Leaving a trail of tears and blood.
And Kitajima was supposed to be his protege. Kei wanted to laugh, and maybe sob a little in the corner of the club room. Or maybe make Kitajima practice his receive until his arms fell off.
Yamaguchi snapped his head to Kitajima, his hand that was previously pushing Hinata's yelling down his throat came to place a finger in front of his own lips. His eyes threatened Kitajima, and the rest of the team, to shut up.
"Practice is starting soon, so stop sitting around and gossiping. Those who are finished with changing better head to the gym now," Yamaguchi said sternly. "We can't be wasting any more time."
"Captain, we're not gossiping though-"
"The gym. Now."
The younger members squawked and scrambled up from the floor to exit the club room, leaving their raid of chocolates scattered around Kei's opened bag.
There were only the four of them left, with Yamaguchi quickly trying to avoid Kei's not-very-well-hidden glare behind his sports glasses.
"Um," Hinata started, switching his weight between his feet. "So you get one chocolate, huh? Big deal! I mean, it's not, but you know it's- uh- haha, you know."
"What are you even saying?" Kageyama looked at him with a raised eyebrow.
"Well." Hinata's eyes strayed to Kei's bag, then he pointed at it. "Look! Tsukishima got a lot of them this year too!"
Kageyama turned his head languidly to the bag. "That is a lot."
"Right? He's so popular! A lot of girls really like him!" Hinata turned to look at Yamaguchi who was pulling his t-shirt down. "Yamaguchi, didn't you say that Tsukki received a lot of confessions back in our first year too?"
"He did." Yamaguchi nodded his head. "He still does."
"A lot of girls reaally like Tsukki," Hinata said, looking at Kageyama from the corner of his eye.
Kei looked at Kageyama too, waiting to see his reaction. His tongue felt like a dead fish right now. He hoped, prayed, that this thing that Hinata was trying to pull would be able to make Kageyama pick up Kei's obliterated pride off the ground. Somehow.
They had only started dating at the start of their third year, and the only reason it even happened was because Kageyama had the balls to actually confess and do something about his feelings towards Kei. While Kei on the other hand had planned to live with his possibly unrequited love for the rest of his life, dragging it around along with the pressuring weight of being alive.
But Kageyama liked him back, and thank goodness that he did, because the thought of never telling Kageyama about his own feelings had actually managed to pinch his eyeballs and made him shed a couple tears.
"I can see that," Kageyama finally said, nodding. "They gave you so much stuff. You can actually open a whole store with those."
The room fell silent, though it seemed like Kageyama did not mind it that much. The invisible weight was only pressing down on the three of them- especially Kei. He'd expected to hear Kageyama say something else, react in a different way. Just something small at least.
But no, there wasn't anything. The King looked quite impressed for some reason. He even pointed out that one of the chocolates was the same brand that his older sister liked.
"You do know that those chocolates are given to him with love, right, Yamayama-kun? They're literally declaring their love to him," Hinata said.
Kageyama nodded again. So easily. No strain, or stiffness, or the sound of rusty hinges creaking. "I know what they are, idiot. That's the point of giving them during Valentine. I get it."
"Do you really?"
Kageyama narrowed his eyes. "You give chocolate to someone you like on this day- I know. I'm not that stupid."
"But-"
"I'm gonna go ahead then." Kageyama turned around, throwing a wave at his friends.
"Kageyama, wait!" Hinata followed Kageyama out of the room hurriedly.
Yamaguchi tried to do the same, but he was just a moment too late because as soon as he moved, Kei grabbed him by his arm. Telling him to wait in a whisper. The captain looked over his shoulder, then turned around to look at Kei. But as soon as their eyes met, he averted them away.
Kei towered over him. His imposing height casted a grim shadow over Yamaguchi's shorter figure.
"Yamaguchi, will you be so kind and tell me what happened?" Kei asked, his voice was heavy.
"Look, Tsukki. It's not like I knew what was going on, okay? I thought he just have something to talk about to Kageyama," Yamaguchi replied, breaking a sweat. "He just asked to talk. How would I know if he was planning to confess?"
"He confessed?" Kei hissed.
"I don't know! I mean, I guess he did? I didn't hear anything."
"How come?"
"Uchida asked to talk somewhere else."
"And you didn't follow them to listen?"
"No, I didn't. That's just impolite."
Kei furrowed his eyebrows tightly, and like a petulant child he said, "Confessing to someone's boyfriend is impolite."
"I told you I don't know if he confessed, and well, I don't think he knows Kageyama is taken." Yamaguchi shrugged.
"He should know," Kei said through gritted teeth.
"Weren't you the one who said to not let anyone else know about your relationship with Kageyama?"
"That's besides the point."
Yamaguchi sighed heavily, and Kei almost felt bad for him for dealing with someone like Kei. But this was a serious matter. Someone had set their eyes on Kageyama, his boyfriend, in a way that he did not appreciate. Kei agreed that Kageyama was someone to be admired and adored- someone to look up to especially when it came to volleyball.
But this Uchida person didn't even play volleyball! And why did he choose to be interested in Kageyama of all people at their school? There must be plenty of other guys or, if Uchida swung both ways, girls that were available for him to confess to.
"If you really want to know then why don't you ask Kageyama? He'll definitely tell you," Yamaguchi said.
Kei frowned at the suggestion. It wasn't a bad suggestion per se, in fact it was a good one. A rational one. He really could just ask Kageyama about it in person, and he would answer truthfully. He could, and maybe he would do it later. Yes! He would just ask Kageyama!
***
He did not ask Kageyama.
Kei couldn't bring himself to ask. What would Kageyama think of him if he did? It was just one chocolate, it really shouldn't be a big deal. Kei received a ton of them from girls, and Kageyama wasn't even bothered. He shouldn't be bothered by one chocolate from Uchida Yuki.
Except, he was bothered. Annoyingly so.
He didn't want to feel this way and he was annoyed that he had to be so aware of it- of not wanting to feel it but knowing that he was feeling it. Kei wanted to lay down, or maybe just sit for a moment on the side and breathe.
But he couldn't even take a short break because the basketball team was here to use the gym as well. And there he was- the splinter stuck in Kei's finger, Uchida Yuki.
The basketball captain was talking to Yamaguchi about splitting the gym for both teams. Yamaguchi had to agree, of course, this wasn't the first time for them to be practicing in the same space. But now, especially when he knew that Uchida harbored some feelings for Kageyama, Kei wished Yamaguchi would just kick them out.
But Kei didn't say anything. Instead, he chose to look at Kageyama who was busy with their first year setter. He couldn't stop the smile from stretching on his face when Kageyama looked up and met his eyes from where he was. Kageyama's own lips pulled into a small smile before he looked away, resuming his duty as a good upperclassman to their younger member.
Kei felt an immense embarrassment from feeling like he was floating in the air just because of a goddamn smile from Kageyama Tobio.
He snapped his head to the direction of the basketball team. On the other side of the green netting that they had put up to separate the space of the gym, Kei made a very unpleasant discovery that quickly smashed his fluttering joy of being able to see Kageyama's smile.
There, standing near the green netting, was Uchida Yuki, staring at one Kageyama Tobio with those clear eyes filled with longing.
Kei felt his own face turning sour at what he was witnessing, and he looked at Kageyama to see if the setter was returning the stare- oh, would you look at that? Kageyama wasn't even looking at the general direction of Uchida Yuki. Ha!
A smug smile danced across his face as his eyes traveled back to the basketball captain, who was still staring at Kageyama's back.
You can look all you want, Kei thought a little too arrogantly. He'll never look at you.
Kei had to stop himself from crossing his arms in front of his chest and raised his chin up while looking down at Uchida Yuki. Although that wasn't possible because just like what the little second-year traitor, Kitajima said, Uchida was taller than him.
He really didn't care about height that much, unless it was either Kageyama or Hinata who surpassed him, then maybe he would feel a little bothered. Especially if it was Hinata. The thought of Hinata suddenly became taller than him made him shiver.
"Are you cold, Tsukki?"
Kei turned his head to his right and found Yamaguchi looking at him with worry.
"Just thought that it would surely suck if Hinata grew taller than me," he said, eyes finding said small middle blocker teaching Higuchi how to receive.
"That would be nice actually. We would be able to have a strong set of middle blockers. Our own wall of steel."
Kei looked away and frowned in distaste. "Hinata is already a tough rival. I don't want him to gain the upper hand of being taller than me."
"I don't think it will happen any time soon." Yamaguchi shrugged, and followed the direction of Kei's eyes. "Are you sure you're worried about Hinata?"
The downward pull of Kei's lips deepened, and he could feel it pulling everything else down to the ground. Uchida was smiling so widely when Kageyama finally looked his way, giving him a simple nod. He wanted, more than everything, to snatch that foolish smile off of Uchida's face and stomp it with his foot. Made sure to grind his foot down and let the smile become one with the floor of the gym.
That nod was not a big deal. It really shouldn't be. But Uchida reacted as if he had won the biggest lottery, and Kei wanted to win some himself. He wanted to take whatever joy Uchida was feeling from looking at Kageyama from afar, which was, admittedly, very petty of him to want to do. He was painfully aware of that.
How childish, he thought, but he continued to think about it.
"Having Hinata as a rival in volleyball is enough. I don't think I need another one in my love-life," he replied, eyebrows clipping together.
"Eh, is he really a rival?"
"He likes the King."
"And that King likes you."
Kei colored at Yamaguchi's words. It was a fact that he already knew about- the one fact that he held close to his weak heart. Almost like an anchor of some kind. Kageyama liked him, and he liked Kageyama.
But now, some stupid basketball player was trying to squeeze himself between them. Though Uchida wasn't aware that Kei was standing closely next to Kageyama. He didn't expect him to know that they were together, and Kei wished he had made it known that he was dating Kageyama. Maybe that would finally ward off girls and boys away from Kageyama.
Yamaguchi clapped him on the back. "You really got it bad, huh?"
"Shut up, Yamaguchi."
Yamaguchi only chuckled.
"What would you do if someone gave Yachi a chocolate and possibly confessed-"
"We don't know if he confessed."
"-to her on Valentine's Day?"
"I wouldn't worry," Yamaguchi said, and he took a pause to think over it. "Well, maybe a little, but I trust Hitoka - wait, why are you worried again?"
Kei shrugged. "I don't know. I just don't like it when he looks at Kageyama."
"Tsukki, he's just looking," Yamaguchi said, sighing exasperatedly. "There's no harm in it. Everyone looks at Kageyama- I look at Kageyama. Are you going to stop everyone from looking at him?"
"Yeah, but it's different. You don't like Kageyama in the way that he does," Kei said, then he snapped his head to Yamaguchi. "You don't, do you?"
Yamaguchi shook his head, chuckling. "I don't. I have Hitoka," he replied. "Though if I wasn't dating her already I might go for Kageyama."
"Yamaguchi."
"It's a joke. It's a joke." Yamaguchi raised both of his hands in surrender, and the darkness that radiated from Kei dissipated into the air.
Yamaguchi turned to look at Uchida who was still trying to steal glances at Kageyama.
"But I think I get what you mean," the freckled boy said. "He looks at Kageyama in the same way you do."
Kei scrunched his nose up in distaste. He found it very unpleasant that Yamaguchi was comparing him to Uchida and found a similarity between them. Kei didn't want to admit it, but he guessed he had that one thing in common with the basketball player; they both liked Kageyama.
But Kei could bet, and was willing to bet, that what he felt for Kageyama was something that Uchida couldn't bear to handle nor carry with him. Kei had to live with these feelings for a few years now, and he had to push them down and down until one day they just exploded and dear Gods, he really liked Kageyama Tobio. An idiot in love.
"Ugh," Kei groaned. "No way. Do I look that stupid?"
"Worse," Yamaguchi replied instantly. "But you should see how Kageyama looks at you when you're not looking."
At this, Kei perked up.
"How does he look at me?"
"Not telling." Yamaguchi walked away, leaving Kei frowning at his back.
"Stingy," he muttered.
***
"You're coming over, right?"
Kageyama didn't look at him, and Kei thought that maybe he didn't hear his quiet question, but Kageyama nodded his head while he zipped his club jersey up. Kei looked at the pink tint that started to spread across Kageyama's face. A color that the warm shower after practice pulled out of him.
There were only the two of them left. Kei was on the locking up duty today. Everybody else had left first, and he had let Yamaguchi, Hinata, and Yachi knew first-hand that both him and Kageyama were going to walk home together today because Kei had to help him with homework.
Also Kei just wanted to be alone with Kageyama for a while, though he did not tell their friends that, but he had an inkling that maybe they already knew about it. Today was the Love Day anyway, even Yamaguchi and Yachi were going to go on a date. Hinata had a plan to eat the chocolates that he received with his little sister at home.
"You have to help me with my homework," Kageyama said.
"How demanding," Kei replied, zipping his own jersey up when he felt the familiar coldness of the winter tried to slip in.
"You were the one who suggested it."
"Yes, yes. I was," he drawled, then he closed his locker after taking his purple scarf out. "I was just making sure that you didn't forget."
Kageyama grunted, and Kei placed his forehead against his locker, his eyes watched Kageyama as he put on his own blue scarf that matched his eyes. Kageyama circled it around his neck, tucking each ends neatly so that they wouldn't come undone.
Kei frowned slightly. A small one hidden under the collar of his jersey. Kageyama Tobio, with his stupid short, choppy bangs, and his stupid handsome, grumpy face, and his stupid pretty eyes- it was so annoying and yet so delightful at the same time. Kei had the chance to call this one amazing setter as his boyfriend.
Kei felt like an absolute fool. A stupid fool in love. He hadn't even told Kageyama that he was in love with him. He was afraid that his deeper feelings would freak Kageyama out. And what if Kageyama didn't feel that much for him?
Annoying. Did he really have to waste his brain power on overthinking about this? Really annoying.
"What's up with you today?"
Kei blinked. "What do you mean?"
Kageyama shrugged. "You're acting weird today, especially during practice."
"Am I?"
"You were distracted during our practice. You kept looking at the basketball team," Kageyama said, closing his locker. "Did you not like sharing the gym with them that much? Usually you wouldn't mind."
That was before I knew that their captain likes you, he thought.
"I didn't mind," he said.
"You did." Kageyama looked at him. "I could see it, you know?"
"Well, maybe you saw wrong. I was feeling a little bit drowsy because of the weather. Have you considered that?"
"So why were you looking at the basketball team?"
Kageyama thought that Kei was just looking, but Yamaguchi had told him to stop driving a goddamn spear into Uchida's chest with his eyes.
"They happened to be in my line of sight."
"Bullshit. You literally kept turning your head to look at them."
Kei smirked teasingly. "Aw. Is your Highness jealous that I'm looking at other people and not him? How adorable."
Kageyama shoved him lightly, the pink on his face turned a little darker. "Shut up, asshole."
"Don't worry, your Highness. You're still the only one in my eyes," Kei continued his teasing with his shit-eating grin that he knew irked Kageyama so much.
"You really are an ass," Kageyama groaned, picking his bag up and turning towards the door. "Let's just go!"
"As you wish." Kei followed after him, not forgetting to turn the light off and lock the door.
The key of the club room jingled together with the little metal crow keychain that Yachi bought. Kei shoved it into his pocket, and walked together with Kageyama down the stairs.
It was dark, and Kei knew that there wasn't anybody around anymore. Everyone that was a part of the after-school clubs had left, but just to make sure, Kei looked around and found nobody. His eyes fell on Kageyama's gloved hands, mostly his lonely right hand.
Kei shifted just a little closer to Kageyama, and he couldn't help the wobbly smile on his lips as he moved his own hand to grab Kageyama's as they reached the last step of the stairs.
"Kageyama!"
His hand shot back to his side, and he could feel the way his heart almost jumped out of his mouth at the voice calling out his boyfriend's family name.
Someone had been waiting for them at the bottom of the stairs. Someone that Kei didn't actually hate, but could still do without seeing. His eyes twitched behind his glasses as the person came under the light of the moon. Kei could feel his eyes narrowing as Uchida's face became clearer in the dark.
"Uchida?"
"Hi, Kageyama," Uchida greeted, then his eyes shifted to Kei. They widened, as if not expecting him to be there with Kageyama. "Oh, hello."
Kei only nodded his head once. The movement was a little clipped and stoic.
"Tsukishima wasn't it?" Uchida asked.
Kei hated the way that he had to slightly tip his head back to look at Uchida. And he absolutely hated the way Uchida had to look down on him.
And so, to answer him, Kei only nodded his head again.
"I'm Uchida Yuki. I'm in the basketball team," he said, smiling. "Nice to meet you!"
I know, you prick, Kei thought, and in his head he had already pulled Kageyama with him and walked away, leaving Uchida alone at the bottom of the stairs and in the dark. Like a fool.
"Tsukishima Kei," he said instead. "Likewise."
"Do you need anything, Uchida?" Kageyama asked.
Uchida turned his attention back to Kageyama, and Kei swore he could see the change in his eyes as he looked at Kageyama. Kei wanted to put his hand over Uchida's eyes and just stop him from looking at Kageyama so freely like he was doing.
"Ah, no- it's just," Uchida fumbled with his words, and Tsukishima could see the way he tried to sort them with his hands, moving around as he spoke, "You know, I just- I wanted to know if- um ... "
Uchida's eyes moved to Kei again, though he averted them when Kei looked back at him.
"Can we talk with just the two of us, Kageyama?" Uchida asked in a quiet voice, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.
Kei found it very easy to picture himself spiking Uchida's head over the net. Okay, maybe he hated- well, that's a strong word. Maybe he disliked Uchida a little bit more than he should. He barely knew anything about the guy other than the fact he liked Kageyama, and Kei thought he really could do without knowing that.
Keep your enemy close, Kei stifled a scoff, but he did let out one mentally. That's a load of horse shit. He absolutely couldn't stand to be in the same place as Uchida, especially not with how he looked at Kageyama.
"Uh, sure," Kageyama replied, adjusting the strap of his bag.
Kei couldn't help the way his head snapped to Kageyama, and he absolutely couldn't stop his lips from scowling.
Kageyama turned to him, but he didn't notice the sour look on Kei's face. "Is it okay if you wait for a bit?"
Kei's brows furrowed deeply. "We have to hurry. It's pretty late."
"It's not going to take long. I just have to talk about something with Kageyama," Uchida piped in.
"What is it that you want to talk about anyway?" Kei asked, and he was surprised at himself for being able to not make the question sound too bitter and the tone too snappy.
"Well ... " Uchida trailed off, and Kei's scowl deepened if that was even possible. "Just something about our homework."
Another thing that Kei learned, unwillingly, about Uchida was that he was a bad liar. No effort was made whatsoever.
But wouldn't that mean he wasn't used to lying and therefore was an honest person? And honesty was a good quality in a person, wasn't it? Damn. He was bad at something and that was supposed to be a minus! This sucked.
"Isn't it okay to talk about it here? It just happens that Kageyama is coming over to my house tonight so that I can help him with his homework," Kei said, tilting his head to the side.
Uchida looked down to the ground, scratching his head. "I guess so," he muttered quietly.
"So? What are you waiting for?"
"Tsukishima." Kageyama moved to stand between Kei and Uchida. "We're just going to talk for a bit. Just the two of us. Can you wait?"
Huh? Hah?
What?
The weather was cold, but Kei felt like he was boiling inside. The longer he stood there, with how Kageyama seemed to try to shield Uchida who was too tall to hide behind him from him, the more Kei grew to feel annoyed. If he frowned even more, he was sure that his face was going to stay that way for the rest of his life.
Why? Did Kageyama not know what Uchida was planning to talk about with him? Or did he actually know and that's why he was doing this? But why?
Kei felt his head, along with his heart, throbbed painfully.
Was Kageyama actually considering it? Uchida's feelings for him?
"Uh, no. I can't," he replied, and he couldn't hold back the harshness of his voice this time. "You guys can talk as long as your hearts desire. I'm going home."
He walked away from them, not looking back when he heard Kageyama calling his name. He just kept walking, not pausing nor thinking about what he was doing. He just couldn't be there and he just didn't want to stand there and let his mouth spill his thoughts as it pleased.
While his legs were leading him home, his mind brought him somewhere else. A place that he would rather not be. Uchida's feeling for Kageyama was clear. He liked him. And Kei knew what it felt like to like someone as much as he did. His heart tended to take control of his mind, and sometimes it hacked the system and made him think of things that he would never, even if you put a gun to his head, ever tell anyone.
He dreamed of some things that made him have to take an extra time in the morning to get ready for the day. Sometimes he thought of things in the middle of his shower, and he would curse himself out before rubbing one out.
Surely Uchida had experienced the same things, right? Something that would lead him to the big dramatic revelation that was his feelings towards Kageyama Tobio. Kei had wanted to bash his head in when he first realized it.
He looked up to the night sky, the moon was hiding behind a cloud, and the stars scattered scarcely all over the dark blue that reminded him of Kageyama's eyes. The longer he looked at the sky, the more pissed he got, and so he looked down to the ground instead, listening to the sound of his shoes against the snow that covered the ground. The streetlamp flickered, mocking him.
He couldn't control what other people think about, as much as he wanted to, but he really didn't like the idea of other people thinking of Kageyama in the way he was. He knew he was being stupid, but still. He was sure that everybody else felt the same way, right? Yamaguchi must felt this way too.
Dumbass King. Simpleton. Stupid volleyball idiot. Kei shoved his hands that had grown cold into his pockets. He thought that his heart was rolling down a hill as well, towards an old haunted lake where kappas resided, ready to find their victims and pull their guts out of their butts.
Dumbass Uchida. Why did you have to be nice? It really made it hard for Kei to curse him out now. He wouldn't have to hold himself back if he was someone like, let's just say, Oikawa Tooru. Or maybe Tendou Satori. Or Suna Rintarou.
He couldn't even try to beat him in a match either because the idiot didn't even play volleyball.
Nice. Good-looking. Cool and tall- dumbass Kitajima. Why was Uchida so well-liked? Even by Kei's own junior. He was nicer than him, taller than him. But Kei's feelings for Kageyama were bigger, were they not? At least Kei had that.
While he was fuming inside, with his scowl tucked underneath his purple scarf that, if Kei could breathe fire, would surely burn, he didn't notice the quick footsteps that were growing louder and closer to him.
Before he could finally register that someone was running after him, Kei felt a wind brushed past him, and when he blinked, Kageyama was already standing in front of him, though he lost his footing and Kei shot his arms out to grab him before he slipped on the snow.
"Idiot! What are you doing running down the hill like that? You could've hurt yourself!" Kei let go of Kageyama's arms when he could stand properly.
"I have to chase you," Kageyama said, white smoke left his mouth as he panted slightly. "You walk really fast. Usually you would be much slower."
"I apologize for feeling tired and wanting to go home as soon as I can to get some rest," Kei replied. "Or was I not allowed to do that?"
"The hell is wrong with you? I asked you to wait for a bit!" Kageyama furrowed his dark eyebrows at Kei. His face was chapped and reddened by the winter wind, even his blue scarf had become a little undone.
"And I told you that I can't," he said. "And why are you here? Don't you have something to talk about with that Uchida guy? You can't just leave him back there."
"And it's okay for you to do that? To leave me?"
"I did as you guys asked. You wanted to have a conversation with just the two of you, and so I left."
"Nobody asked you to leave. I asked you to wait for a bit." Kageyama frowned. "Are you really that tired that you can't even wait? You should've just told me."
"Yes, I am. Now can you move away? Or can we finally just walk to my house now?"
Kageyama looked at him, and he had to tilt his head back a little to meet Kei's eyes. Kageyama wasn't that much shorter than him, but as he was standing in front of Kei, on the lower level of the street that led up to the hill where their school was, he had to look up at Kei.
For a second Kei was thrown back to their first year. Back then, Kageyama always had to look up at him. He actually kind of missed it- wait, he was supposed to be angry right now.
"I'm not moving until you tell me what's wrong with you," Kageyama said. "I wouldn't understand if you don't tell me."
How can I tell you? Kei thought. He couldn't just tell Kageyama that he was actually jealous of Uchida who was literally a nobody, just a mere classmate to Kageyama. Kei had nothing to be jealous about, and yet he did feel it.
How could he tell Kageyama that he was upset at the fact that Uchida liked him? And at the fact that Kageyama might be aware of it? He would sound so lame, and he didn't want to appear lame in front of Kageyama.
"It's really nothing," Kei muttered through gritted teeth.
"Is it Uchida?"
Kei flinched, then he looked to the side, not wanting to meet Kageyama's dark eyes as he nodded his head hesitantly, admitting that Uchida was the problem.
"Why do you not like him?"
"Do you really not know?"
"Just tell me."
Kei looked at Kageyama who was already staring at him. He saw that one end of Kageyama's scarf was hanging loosely in front of his chest, then he reached out to throw it over his shoulder and tuck it properly.
While he was fixing Kageyama's scarf, he thought of how to tell him about what he had been mulling over all day today. He then realized that he had spent the Love Day in a bitter mood. He never really celebrated the Valentine's before, but now that he was dating Kageyama, he wanted to celebrate it properly. Somehow.
"He likes you," Kei finally said quietly. "He was trying to confess to you earlier or maybe he did it already when he gave you the chocolate."
Kageyama's eyes widened, and he blinked them once.
"That's what you were upset about?" Kageyama asked, sounding genuinely surprised and confused.
Kei groaned, feeling his face flushing slightly. "Yes, I was upset about that. I know it's stupid and lame, but shouldn't that be obvious?"
"No? I don't know." Kageyama shrugged. "I didn't think that you would care. Like what Hinata said, it's just one chocolate."
"But still."
"You weren't this bothered back then when a girl confessed to me."
Because back then you weren't mine, Kei thought. And I didn't have the right to be upset about it.
"It's different now. I'm worried about it because we're dating," Kei said.
"Then why are you even worried?" Kageyama asked.
"Of course I would be worried!"
"But I'm dating you, aren't I?" Kageyama said. "And I planned to turn Uchida down anyway."
Kei arched an eyebrow. "Then why did you keep insisting on talking alone with him?"
"Miwa-nee-chan told me that I should be considerate of people's feelings if I'm going to turn their confession down, and she told me that I should do it when we're alone because it would be embarrassing for them to be rejected in front of other people," Kageyama said, pouting. "Yachi-san also told me the same thing."
"Oh."
Kei's eyes shifted down, praying that the ground would open up and swallow him. How embarrassing! Kageyama was just trying to be nice and considerate of Uchida's feeling, and here Kei was, stomping his feet around like a child. Kageyama was just trying to be mature, and Kei was thinking of weird things.
Dumbass. He kicked himself mentally. Tsukishima Kei you goddamn moron!
"Are you angry?"
He looked at Kageyama when his soft voice reached his ears, then he pouted under his purple scarf.
"A little," he replied. "Mostly at myself."
"Why?"
"I thought that- I thought you were actually thinking about it."
"Thinking about what?"
"Accepting his feelings."
Kageyama scrunched his nose. "Why would I think about that?"
Kei groaned loudly. "I don't know! He keeps looking at you! He's obviously nicer, and cooler too! And he's taller than me! He's so much better!
Kageyama stared at him in silence, looking like he's processing Kei's words inside that head of his. Kei could see the moment it dawned on him in his blue eyes.
"Hah?!" Kageyama's voice rang loudly in the air. "You're so fucking stupid!"
"Excuse me?!"
"Dumbass! Yes, he's taller than you and so much nicer too-" Kei frowned- "but you're cool too! Much cooler than him! And I like you better! You're really mean, but you can be really nice and cute sometimes! Our juniors admire you and girls really like you! You're handsome! And so what if he keeps looking at me? You're the only one that I look at, you idiot four-eyes!"
Kei couldn't find anything to say as he watched Kageyama's face became red, even his ears had turned the same shade of color. He wasn't sure if it was because of the cold, but he saw himself in Kageyama's eyes, shining so brightly as if he was the moon that finally came out from its hiding of the dark clouds above their heads.
The streetlamp stopped flickering, and the light from it spilled over Kageyama's figure, lighting him up like a star. He could feel his own face flushing red, and so he raised a hand up to cover it. And it was cold, but he felt so warm. So, so warm as he looked at Kageyama. He wondered if Kageyama could see his own reflection on Kei's glasses.
Kei felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest, and he thought that he would just replace the gaping hole with Kageyama to fill it.
"Idiot," he whispered, mostly to himself.
"What?!"
Kei stepped forward to land a kiss on Kageyama's stupid forehead, and his lips tingled when he moved away.
"Let's go, your Highness." He looked at Kageyama who was covering the place that Kei had kissed with his hand. The blush across his face became darker.
Kei watched in confusion as Kageyama took the glove of his right hand off, then he grabbed Kei's own right hand and put the glove on his cold hand. The blue-eyed setter then grabbed his naked left hand and knitted their fingers slowly before slipping their gloveless hands into the pocket of his jersey.
"Let's go," Kageyama muttered with his usual pout.
Kei's eyebrows raised up, but then they dropped and he smiled at the King.
"Where did you learn this, huh? Who taught you?" Kei asked, still smiling like an idiot as they walked together.
"I saw it on T.V."
"Well, aren't you cute?"
"Shut up." Kageyama glared at him, though he was still blushing so it just proved Kei's point. "Where's my Valentine's gift anyway? You haven't given me one."
"I'm helping you with your homework. That's your gift," Kei replied.
"Stingy. Stingyshima."
"You say that but you didn't give me anything either."
Kageyama stopped walking, and Kei had to pause as well. Without a warning Kageyama stepped closer to him and kissed his lips. Just a simple kiss that caught Kei off guard.
"There's your gift," he said, his breath brushing against Kei's skin.
"How about my payment for helping you with the homework?"
"You said it was my gift!"
"Okay, then. I was upset the whole day because of Uchida, where's my consolation?" Kei asked with a pout.
"Ugh," Kageyama groaned. "I'll kiss you later. I'll kiss you until your lips become sore! You better be ready!"
Kei chuckled as they continued their walk. His hand squeezed Kageyama's own inside the pocket of his jersey, and he could feel Kageyama squeezing it back.
"I'm looking forward to it, your Highness."