Chapter Text
“I don’t like it.” The dread pirate Kakashi Hatake was pouting. Pouting. Complete with pushed out lower lip and hands on hips.
Iruka pulled the quill away from the parchment and grinned up at him, “I’m sorry, instead of kidnapping me for ransom what would you propose we tell them? ‘Good sirs and madams, I’ve run away to elope. With a man. We’re madly in love and have been for years and we finally decided to get married. It will be a small ceremony conducted by the ship’s captain who is also my future spouse. Oh, and by the way, he’s a horrible pirate. Thank you and please bless this union.’”
“I just...I don’t like the idea that...they’ll think I’m some kind of…” Kakashi started to trail off, looking anywhere other than Iruka.
“Pervert?”
“WHAT? No!? Wait...why would they think that?! Besides that’s...that’s not what I’m worried about!” Kakashi was blushing furiously, floundering for words like a fish on land. “I don’t want them to think that I...made you do...stuff,” he said finally, looking down at the deck, cheeks pinker than Iruka had ever seen them.
Oh. That’s why he seemed so hesitant about this scheme. When Iruka had proposed that they fake his kidnapping so they could finally be together (at the same time he proposed marriage), Kakashi had been over the moon. But after the initial wave of happiness, Kakashi had started acting nervous and worried.
Iruka had no family back in England, he had been a teacher of some modest success for other people’s spoiled children before he had met Kakashi. He had been both dashing and awkward in equal measure and Iruka had been instantly smitten. It had taken him some time to put two and two together that this sweet man who had been courting him for months was also Kakashi Hatake, the most infamous pirate currently sailing the seas.
When Iruka had informed Kakashi of his deduction, Kakashi had started to beg, asking Iruka to please give him another chance, to explain, to prove his love was real. Iruka didn’t need an explanation and he silenced Kakashi’s pleas with a kiss. His love for Kakashi was just as real as Kakashi’s for him.
“Show me your ship.” Kakashi’s answering smile had been soft and sweet. They had met in secret after that whenever Kakashi had made it back to port, until Iruka had decided that enough was enough. This man was his life and it was time to start living together in earnest. As to why they’re in this current predicament, Iruka had felt obligated to provide some kind of closure to the families he had worked for, which meant disappearing without a trace wasn’t an option. They had been kind to Iruka, but he didn't owe them his happiness… just an explanation for his sudden absence in their lives.
Iruka hopped off the barrel he had been sitting on, placing the quill and parchment on top of it. Grabbing Kakashi’s hands, Iruka looked him in the eye not covered by the black leather eyepatch. “Kakashi, listen. I love you, whatever anyone else thinks, that won’t change. I also hate to break it to you sweetheart but they think much worse things about you than what you're thinking,” Iruka grinned as Kakashi finally deflated against him, groaning. He buried his face into the crook of Iruka’s tanned neck.
“Like what?” he asked, voice muffled by Iruka’s shoulder.
Much to Kakashi’s embarrassment, Iruka started telling him all the rumors, speculations, slander, and frankly pornographic stories that had been told about the pirate Kakashi Hatake, in whispered voices by candlelight.