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She clenched her bag tightly to her chest, taking slow deliberate steps towards the classroom. It felt like walking through sludge, each step harder to take than the one before. Her foot fell heavily onto the first step, her hands beginning to shake. Her breathing picked up speed despite her slow pace, the familiar burn starting in her eyes.
The classroom door was open, indistinguishable conversation flitting out and stopping her in her tracks. She knew. It was the same everyday. Her throat tightened, the weight pressing down on her chest making it nearly impossible to breathe. Her hands clenched tighter around her bag. A shaking breath found its way out in a last ditch attempt to quell the sob choking the life out of her.
Another step. Then another. The thud of each step resounded like a hollow echo in her ear. Her eyes moved to the floor as she crossed into the room. She couldn't bear to see the disappointed look in his eyes. It would end her to see it again.
Biting painfully into her bottom lip, Marinette moved to her seat. She buried her face in her arms the second she sat down, trying to catch her breath and steady the rapid beating of her suffering heart. She didn't dare look up, and he didn't dare turn around.
Adrien clenched his fists on his knees. The moment he heard Marinette's heavy steps outside the door, his eyes had fallen to his lap. The nightmare of her eyes in that moment haunted him every second of the day. He couldn't bear to see it again either. He'd never make it through another day having to see it.
He covered his face in his hands, letting out a slow, shaky breath in an attempt to calm down.
Alya and Nino exchanged worried glances before turning to their silent best friends. Almost two months had passed since the last time the blonde and bluenette spoke to each other. Now, they could hardly even look in each others' direction.
Watching them suffer like this, because it was clear to anyone who knew them, that they were suffering. Nino noticed the tension in every one of Adrien's muscles, and let out a soft sigh as his shoulders slumped in defeat. Adrien refused to tell him what had happened between him and Marinette, or how things had escalated this far. He desperately wanted to know what was wrong, but Adrien refused to talk to him about Marinette. He'd change the subject or rush off with a terrible excuse, leaving Nino staring after him more confused and sadder than before.
Alya had never seen Marinette like this, so trapped within herself. The pain she could see pouring out of every fiber of her best friend was impossible to ignore. Her hand reached for Marinette's slumped form, but seeing the sob shake her shoulders, her hand froze. She pulled her hand back slowly, wishing that there was something she could do.
Adrien's hands fell from his face hearing the heartbreaking sob from the beautiful girl behind him. His eyes closed heavily, pent up tears rising in his eyes that he refused to let fall. Once they escaped, he knew there would be no stopping their relentless stream.
His hand covered his mouth, his lip trembling. He wasn't going to make it. The tears were too strong.
He snatched his bag and rushed out of the room, the burn behind his eyes returning stronger than a wildfire. Trembling hands wrenched open the door of the first empty room he found. He slammed it shut behind him, falling against it as the sob proved triumphant over his will.
Tears spilled down his cheeks. His entire body racked with the overwhelming pain of guilt and loss. Adrien's legs gave out and he slid to the floor. He hugged his knees to his chest and released all of the feelings he'd been holding at bay, knowing that this was all his fault.
…
Staring out at nothing, the bright lights of Paris against a dark sky did nothing to soften the gripping ache of her heart. The joy she used to get watching over the city she loved was nonexistent. The lights were dimmer, the hum of voices fainter… but the darkness was also darker, and the vice grip of chains around her heart tightened their unrelenting hold.
She thought running around, exhausting herself to feel anything else would dull the despair of her loss. To no avail.
The cold night breeze felt sharper than knives against her skin, but the sensation only reminded her what real pain was. It was nothing compared to the suffocating grip around her, holding her firm without mercy, squeezing with all its might mocking her pain.
A soft thud came from behind, her entire body flinching at the familiar sound that used to bring her comfort. Silence reigned between them. She didn't move to turn to him, and he didn't move to get closer. She knew he wouldn't.
The unspoken war between them was vast and loudly present. Bandaged wounds were torn open anew at the sheer thought of having to face him. Tears gathered in the stormy ocean of her eyes and she hastily wiped them away, hearing his foot shift against the old metal.
He couldn't tear his eyes away from her slumped form, his body taught and burning as he remained in place. His will was crumbling. He couldn't do this anymore. He couldn't take it.
His foot only budged an inch. He begged his body to listen to him, begging to find the will to bridge the wall that separated them. One foot moved. Then the other. He heard the slight scrape as she moved her legs like she was going to stand. He fell to his knees behind her before she could. Wrapping his arms around her tightly in silence, he hoped to convey even a fraction of what he truly felt. He couldn't watch her disappear. He couldn't let that sight become reality. Not again. He buried his face between her shoulder blades, letting his canines dig painfully into his lower lip before he said something he'd regret.
Her entire body shook as his arms tightened around her. Unable to hold it in any longer, she started sobbing out loud, the uncontrollable anguish pouring out of her like a flood from a broken dam. Tears streamed from his eyes, feeling her pain vibrate through his very being into the depths of his soul. Every cry past her lips hammered into his stomach.
He'd never be able to get this sound out of his head. The way her cries echoed around them was a chisel to the already barely beating heart inside of him. When her shaking hands latched onto his arms, anchoring him to her, he squeezed his eyes shut and hugged her tighter. She held onto him as though her life depended on it, as though letting go would mean the end of the world.
For her, it would be. She could hear him sniffling, feel the way his body trembled against hers, and nothing brought more pain than the despair her beautiful hearted Kitty was enduring right now. All because of her, and her selfishness. She should have stayed, to give him the chance he deserved. It was the worst mistake of her life to take off from the rooftop away from him. But the way his beautiful green eyes filled with unbelievable shock in silence had left her no choice.
It was all because of her inability to form words around him, because she had stupidly stood there in silence as well, not able to react beyond the burning tears that overflowed from her eyes. His silence had said it all. He'd never be able to love her, the real her. The haunted look on his face was burned into her memory, the cause of every nightmare she'd had since.
That moment came back, the flash of green, the flash of red, and the truth that she couldn't run from… It was him.
Ladybug laced her fingers through his clawed hands, pressing them to her chest with all her might. She felt him move, placing his head to the back of hers. Time itself seemed to still, allowing their pain to pass between them unhindered. It was the same, mirrored in one and reflected back to the other. Her hands tightened as his arms did.
There was nothing he could say, nothing he could do. He should have never let it happen. The moment had been there, right in front of him… and he'd said nothing. He'd done nothing, besides stare in shock at the girl who had been underneath the mask. Of all the girls it could have been, it was her. His friend. His amazingly talented, beautifully kind and courageous friend who sat behind him. His love for her had increased tenfold in that moment, but seeing her eyes fill with tears had split his heart right in two. He knew at that moment, seeing the forlorn expression on her face, that she would never feel the way he felt about her. The way she had stared at him haunted not only his nights, but every waking moment.
She'd been within arms reach the entire time, and it was his own fault that even now in his arms, she couldn't be further away from him. He pulled his arms back, gently trying to tug himself free, but she refused to let go. He wanted to believe that she wanted him to stay, that this was the sign he needed to try and make things right.
But he knew that it would be too good to be true. He pulled a little harder and she pulled him closer, causing him to nearly crash into her back. She kept his arms wound tightly around her, hardly able to catch her breath.
A rough sob left her and she reluctantly released him, knowing that it wasn't right to try and keep him here if he wanted to go.
Bracing cold replaced the warmth of her hands, his heart plummeting to the bottom of the Eiffel Tower as though he'd thrown it over himself. The short sob broke free past trembling lips, his claws digging into the unforgiving cold metal, barely holding himself up on all fours.
He screamed, the pain as it clawed out of his throat a welcomed sensation compared to the despair threatening to drag him into its neverending depths.
She jumped hearing the way his scream pierced the air, finally turning to stare with streams of tears beginning anew. His ears were flushed down on his wild mane, claws trapped in the metal underneath them as he screamed out the agony collected in his heart.
Her head began to shake, and she moved without thinking as she threw herself at him.
She lifted him up, not caring that it formed small holes in the famous monument, and held him to her chest. He continued sobbing into her shoulder, wrapping his arms around her small frame as she threaded her fingers through his soft strands to hold him in place. He'd held her, the least she could do was hold him with all the strength she had left.
Chat Noir's familiar scent reached her, and she buried herself in his silky hair. How long had it been since she's been close enough to him to take in this scent? To let its aroma envelop and cocoon around her like a protective blanket? Too long. Far, far too long.
He started to pull back, sniffling and wiping at his face awkwardly. She ran her hand through his hair, trying to comfort him in any way.
Green eyes finally met blue.
They were both a wreck, shattered pieces of the people they used to be. The overwhelming guilt pressed against their chests once more, blurry vision taking hold once more. Chat Noir blinked first, but closed his eyes. Ladybug let her head fall against his chest, her own eyes closing.
It hurt so much more than either of them remembered.
A shaking clawed hand cupped her cheek and she looked up slowly, blinking trapped tears from her lashes. She leaned into his gentle touch, placing her hand over his to hold him there.
She didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve to have him this way, but she was greedy and selfish, and refused to move away.
He bit his bottom lip when her eyes flitted to its trembling. A knowing look passed through her features, and she gently pulled his bleeding lip from his teeth with her thumb.
He bowed his head but she instantly raised it back up. She'd gone long enough with seeing these brilliant green eyes staring back at her. She opened her mouth to say something but he touched her lips gently to stop her.
Shaking his head, she stayed silent. She knew in that moment exactly what he meant. He didn't want her to apologize, and she knew in her heart that she didn't want him to apologize either. This wasn't his fault, and it wasn't hers.
A ghost of a smile tugged at the corner of her mouth, and his eyes widened seeing it. A flash of light entered her eyes, the light he'd caused to dim and yet was unknowingly the root of its return.
He took a chance, pressing his forehead to hers and letting out a shaky breath. She tensed slightly, and as he pulled away, her lips crashed into his.
He could taste the salt of her tears, but nothing had ever been sweeter. The second she tried to pull away, he chased her lips and recaptured them. He wouldn't make the same mistake twice. Pulling her closer, making sure not a shred of space was left between them, he poured the truth into the kiss.
He loved her. He'd always love her. Mask or no mask. Spots or cherry blossoms.
Her hands tightened in the ends of his hair, deepening the kiss as she held him ever closer. It was a fact she couldn't hold down any longer. She loved him. Both sides of him. Mask or no mask. This was her Kitty, her Chaton. Her partner and best friend. The love of her life who she'd never be able to live another moment without.
As they parted gasping for breath, smiles erupted on their faces for the first time in far too long. Chat Noir felt the tears fall from his eyes, and Ladybug wiped them away as her own tears fell. He hugged her tightly, spinning her around. The laugh she let out healed his soul, and he promised himself that he would do anything in his power to make sure that laugh never faded.
Seeing the brightness return to his eyes, all she could do was hold on and laugh as he spun her around.
He set her down, taking her hand and pressing a gentle kiss on her knuckles. His eyes said it all, and those unspoken words were reflected in hers.
She was his forever, and he was hers.