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Mikami sat at his desk, forearms resting against the oak finish, eyes fixed on the page before him. Like so many evenings before, he had found himself in this same position, but never like this. Night after night, he deleted those that sullied the earth, each lethal stroke of his pen a step closer to a perfect world…Kira’s world, and he was blessed to be the one God trusted to exact his will.
But tonight it wasn’t the Death Note holding his attention, pupils aflame with the candlelight he wrote by as he bled the secrets that he hid in his heart onto the blank parchment laid out before him.
My Dearest Kami,
I know how brazen it is of me, daring to address you as such, but it seems fitting as I confess my sins to you.
I believe that it’s no secret that I have taken every measure to ensure my ability to carry out your wishes flawlessly and I hope you are pleased with the work I’ve done in your absence. I take great pride in serving you and I hope that I am a worthy disciple in your eyes, and though I act with your vision of a just society in mind, at times I find my diligence drifting to other incentives.
Ever since you chose me to be the one you shared your powers with, I have thought of little else. I would certainly grant you anything you asked of me, but then again, I would do anything to be kept in your good graces. Sacrificing half my life to better serve you was an honor, a trade I was more than willing to make for you, and I would do it again without question if you asked me to.
Anything for you…
I must admit, there have been nights I’ve been haunted by the thought of you, consumed with curiosity, imagining of the sound of you voice, how my name lilts from your tongue if you speak of me to others in your closer confidences.
Do you even speak of me at all?
Or wondering how your skin would feel against mine, safe in the dark confines of my bedroom, away from prying eyes and the others that undoubtedly have your attention.
At times I’ve found myself possessed with the idea of being the one you want by your side, how better suited I am to anticipate your wants and needs…anything you desire I will give you. I’m sure you have little doubt that I am correct in this assumption. After all, I’m the one you trusted to exact justice in your name. Who could you depend on more when it comes to knowing you, how you think, what will make you happy, to die so you can live, to continue as God of this New World that we created together.
I’m not exactly sure when these feelings began, the ones I should feel shame for thinking in regards to you, Kami, but I can’t deny them. I may fight them, bury them in my heart, but it changes nothing. They are still there, and there isn’t anything I can do to purge it.
So, I write you this letter, confessing my sins in hopes of one of two things.
Your absolution or my love requited. I place my fate in your hands.
Faithfully in your service,
Teru
Pinching the page between his fingers, he picked up this letter betraying his lust and desires and held it over the flame he had scribed by only moments ago. A smile came to Mikami’s lips as his sins burned, crumbling into dying embers and fading to ashes, taking his secrets with them.