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“I’m not going.”
“Look, I know your last date was a disaster, but that’s just part of the process!” Nobu said. Yuzu would’ve felt more inclined to hear him out if he couldn’t hear the stifled laughter in his voice.
“A disaster? Nobu, he was sent to the hospital. I may not be an expert on good first date experiences, but I’m pretty sure this was about as bad as it gets.”
To be fair, he had thought the man, Takeru, was actually kind of cute at first. He may have tripped on his way over to Yuzuru’s table, and stammered through an unnecessarily formal greeting, but he was handsome, had nice hair, and a pleasant voice when he managed to string together a full sentence. Nobu had mentioned he was a recent transfer student in the math department, a bit shy, but kind, and eager to meet new people around campus, so Yuzuru had been willing to put aside the initial awkwardness. He could be gracious, and first date jitters were nothing he couldn’t handle.
What he wasn’t prepared for was the terrifying shade of red that had spread across Takeru’s face after he’d nervously gulped down Yuzu’s entire glass of apple juice instead of his own. When he started gasping for breath, lips swelling to twice their normal size and body lurching out of his seat, Yuzuru had practically jumped across the table to catch the man before he could crash to the floor.
Cradling the shaking form in his arms and trying not to descend into a full blown panic, he was relieved when a nearby diner who recognized the anaphylactic shock for what it was took over with an EpiPen. Yuzuru had awkwardly stood to the side afterward, feeling out of his depth and useless in the chaos, only sticking around long enough to watch Takeru get escorted out to an ambulance before making a hasty escape. Considering they’d met for all of 5 minutes, he didn’t think a second date would be likely.
“But at least this one wasn’t boring!” Nobu offered cheerfully.
Yuzuru glared, despite the fact that Nobu couldn’t see him through the phone. It was a reference to his first date gone wrong. She was a perfectly respectable and kind young lady named Akane. Unfortunately that was all Yuzuru could say about her considering she’d said all of two words during their entire date, if you could even call it that. It felt more like an hour of torture, sitting through an excruciatingly silent lunch, forcing himself to swallow down tasteless bites food to disguise his embarrassment after every failed attempt he made at conversation.
“Nobu, please. I’m not giving up, I just need a break!” Yuzuru whined. No one had ever told him dating could be so exhausting.
Nobu laughed. “Oh I know that. You never give up anything, especially when your pride is on the line.”
It was his stubborn pride that had gotten him into this mess in the first place, unwilling to back down from a challenge when raised. A month prior, he’d been at a study session hosted by Nobu in the house he shared with his long time girlfriend, Mayu. They were the typical childhood sweethearts, unreserved in their affection and so deeply in love it would be sickening if it wasn’t so sweet. It’s a good thing Yuzu liked the both of them so much that he was willing to put up with their shameless flirting instead of dramatically gagging every time they resorted to making out in public.
“So what is everyone’s plan for Valentine’s?” Mayu had asked after dropping off some study snacks to their group of friends. She was an art major and never liked to study with the boring science and math students when they gathered together. Mostly because it resulted in agonized complaining and moaning more often than not.
“Same as every year? I don’t get what the big deal is,” Shoma mumbled between mouthfuls of cream filled snack cakes, always the first to ditch the world of numbers and formulas for food.
“Aww, come on Shoma! I’ve seen you talking with that curly haired boy. The cute one in your stats class. Are you sure you aren’t even a little bit curious to know what all the fuss is about?” Mayu asked, raising her eyebrows at him.
Shoma’s eyes went wide as the group rounded on him with shocked expressions, bright red spots on his cheeks. “I– I don’t know what you’re talking about!” he stammered unconvincingly.
Yuzu chuckled beside him, reaching forward to ruffle his hair good-naturedly. “Aww… does our little Shoma have a crush on Nathan?” He knew about the boy of course. The young math whiz who’d skipped a few grades also shared some classes with Yuzu. He was a good kid and easy on the eyes with a handsome smile. He could see why Shoma might be smitten.
“Oh my God, stop!” Shoma groaned, lightly pushing Yuzu away before hiding his face in his hands.
“Oh lay off him,” Keiji said. “Unless you want me to bring up your perpetual state of singlehood,” he added, threatening Yuzuru with amusement.
“Hey! That’s singlehood by choice for your information!” Yuzu shot back indignantly.
“When’s the last time you even talked to another person romantically?” Keiji teased.
“Never, because I don’t want to,” Yuzu said. It was the truth. He didn’t have time for dating, always too focused on his classes to bother trying to find someone. “Besides, I’m too busy. I don’t think anyone’s all that interested in someone who can’t make time for them.”
“I’ve heard you’re quite popular with the ladies,” Mayu said.
“Not just the ladies!” Nobu added cheekily. “Yuzu’s a little heartbreaker and he doesn’t even know it.”
Yuzuru rolled his eyes as the group laughed at his expense. He didn’t know what Mayu and Nobu were even talking about; he’s pretty sure he’d notice if someone liked him.
“Well it doesn’t matter since most of us are single anyway. We’ll just spend Valentine’s alone and probably studying or gaming as always,” he said, shrugging casually.
“Well, actually,” Keiji interrupted, “about that… I’ve been meaning to introduce you guys to someone I met over break.”
Yuzuru gasped as Nobu and Mayu squealed in delight. Shoma, who was no longer hiding behind his hands, made a face at the loud couple now sharing high fives.
“We knew it’d finally happen someday! Welcome to the club, Keiji! What’s their name, and when are we going to meet them?” Mayu asked excitedly.
“What club?” Shoma muttered under his breath before being shushed.
“Her name is Shiori, and she’s planning on visiting for Valentine’s actually,” Keiji said with a fond smile, scratching the back of his head bashfully. “We’ve only just started dating, that’s why I didn’t say anything at first. She’s just… so amazing, the most beautiful person I’ve ever met.”
“Well, I’m happy for you Keiji,” Yuzu said over Mayu and Nobu’s cooing. “I can’t wait to meet her.”
“Yeah man, congratulations,” Shoma said, nodding. “It’s gonna be kinda weird if you start acting like Nobu and Mayu, but I’m glad you found someone.”
“Thanks everyone.” Keiji then turned to Yuzuru and Shoma with a sly smile. “So… which one of you is next?”
Yuzuru and Shoma faced each other in surprise, falsely assuming they were safe from further teasing.
“We’ve already been through this! I don’t want to date anyone!” Yuzuru insisted.
“Ooh… maybe you’re actually just saying that because you can’t get a date,” Nobu taunted.
“You just said I was popular Nobu,” Yuzuru said with narrowed eyes, trying and failing not to fall for his bait.
“Yeah, well, maybe I was wrong. Maybe you’re just clueless.”
Yuzu made a sound of shocked outrage. “I could find someone if I wanted!”
“Prove it! Get a boyfriend or girlfriend by Valentine’s day and we’ll never bring it up again.”
“What?! I don’t need to prove anything! And what about Shoma? He’s not dating either!” Shoma squawked in alarm, blissfully escaping scrutiny until that moment. He glared at Yuzu for bringing attention back to him.
“Please. Nate’s going to ask Shoma out any day now, we can all see it,” Mayu said. Anything Shoma was going to say was now frozen on his tongue, only a choked gasp escaping his lips at her comment.
“So what do you say Yuzu? Think you can get lucky before the big day?” Nobu was wagging his eyebrows playfully.
Yuzuru crossed his arms, already knowing that it was inevitable. He was too stubborn to say no, especially with so many witnesses.
“I hate you,” he muttered darkly as everyone laughed.
“This is great!” Nobu cheered. “Come on, I’ll even help you out! Just call me the love doctor!” he winked.
“Absolutely not. And how are you going to help me find someone?”
“Well Yuzu, how does a blind date sound?”
It sounded just as bad now as it did when he first asked, but with only 2 weeks left to go, Yuzuru couldn’t and wouldn’t back out. He’d been cursing himself for agreeing to Nobu’s offer everyday, but he also knew it was his best bet at finding someone outside of his admittedly small circle. Nobu was sociable and friendly, and knew almost everyone on campus. He had also been friends with Yuzu forever, knowing what his likes and interests were, and what types of people Yuzuru would get along with best. Although with the most recent disaster dates, Yuzu was starting to think Nobu was purposely choosing people to convince him to never date again.
“I’m just too tired right now to try and get cute to impress a stranger,” Yuzuru sighed. “You can set something up another day, but not tonight, please.”
“Yuzuru, I understand, really,” Nobu said seriously. “This is supposed to be fun and I would never force you to do anything you didn’t want,” he assured.
“Thanks. And even though I want to strangle you sometimes, I know you’re only doing this because you want me to be happy."
“Right. What are you planning to do though? I hope you’re not gonna study all night. Your brain must be fried after that last test."
Yuzuru snorted, studying being the last thing on his mind for a change. “Definitely not. I don’t know, I think I’m just going to stay home and hang out with Javi.”
“Javi? You guys have been hanging out a lot lately. How’s he doing?” Nobu asked, voice pitching curiously.
“He’s fine, great actually, considering he just broke up with Ana,” Yuzuru replied.
If he were being honest, he had seen it coming and wasn’t surprised when Javi walked into their shared apartment, eyes dark and sad the way they always were after a break up. He liked Ana enough. She was very pretty and always friendly, but the girl was so loud and wild, he found it a bit hard to be around her for long periods of time.
While he knew Javi enjoyed her enthusiasm, he also knew the man needed easy, quiet comfort too, enjoying a movie night in as much as a crazy party, unlike his ex-girlfriend who never seemed to be interested in doing anything that wasn’t accompanied by loud bass and dance beats.
“Yeah, I heard. I'm glad he's taking it well,” Nobu said sincerely.
There was a pause in which Yuzuru held his breath, knowing what was going to come next.
“So… this means he’s single now…” Nobu trailed off suggestively.
“Stop. Nobu, no,” Yuzuru warned.
“I’m just saying! I know you think Javi is hot, and who could blame you? You guys already spend so much time together, he obviously adores you, and now he’s available!”
“Nobu he JUST got out of a relationship, and we’re friends. Roommates. I’m pretty sure things would get awkward,” he explained for what felt like the hundredth time.
“I mean no offense when I say this, but him being fresh out of a relationship isn’t exactly a new situation. That man sweeps a new person off their feet with a single look from his dreamy eyes every other month.” That wasn’t true at all. Javi’s relationships usually lasted at least 3 months. “When are you gonna shoot your shot? Or are you gonna say you haven’t been harboring a desperate crush on him since forever?”
“I haven’t.” And that wasn’t a lie. This… little, tiny, hardly enough to even be significant or noticeable crush he’d developed was a recent thing. He’d never even thought about Javi in any way other than friendship from the moment they met in their general Physics class their freshmen year, to becoming fast friends and roommates their Sophomore year until now, a romantically inexperienced Junior discovering his first signs of true attraction after Nobu and everyone else started filling his head with notions of love and dating.
“Besides,” he continued, mumbling “I don’t think he’s interested in me that way.”
Nobu scoffed, probably shaking his head. “Yuzu. Don’t be ridiculous. Have you seen the way that man looks at you? His eyes shine when you walk into a room. Like you light him up from the inside. He’s always happy to see you, and you live together. He sees you all the time!”
Yuzuru rolled his eyes, unbelieving and a bit frustrated. “Are you done now?”
“You’re going to be hanging out tonight anyway. Just, I don’t know, climb into his lap or something, maybe give him a kiss to test the waters.”
“Nobu what?! That’s not just testing the waters, that’s plunging into the deep end!” Yuzuru whined. “Why are you doing this to me?”
“Because I’m your best friend and I want you to experience a little romance in your life.”
“First off, Keiji is my best friend, and secondly, I’m starting to feel like I’d rather just get all my romance through books and film from now on.”
“No, Keiji is your BORING best friend, who would happily stand by as you waste your hot years single and alone. I’m your cute, fun, and EXCITING best friend who’s got your best interests at heart.”
“I’m telling him you said that.”
“Go ahead. He’s not scary, and he’d agree with me.” Yuzuru scowled, knowing that Keiji absolutely would.
He heard a feminine voice over the line, and then Nobu started excusing himself.
“I have to leave so I’m letting this go for now, but you should think about it. I’m happy to keep setting up these blind dates, but I really think you and Javi could be something special.”
“Goodbye Nobu,” Yuzuru said, choosing to ignore him.
“Just think about it! Have a good night with your loverboy!” Nobu said before hanging up.
Yuzuru groaned, before tossing the phone aside and falling backwards onto his bed. The problem wasn’t that he wasn’t thinking about it, it was that he hadn’t stopped thinking about it for the past several days now.
“Stupid Javi and his stupid beautiful eyes, and his stupid sexy Spanish accent, and his stupid kind heart, and his stupid dumb jokes that always cheer me up,” he mumbled, turning to bury his head into a pillow.
“What are you mumbling about and looking so miserable for?”
Yuzuru shrieked, jumping up to look wide eyed at Javi standing in his opened bedroom doorway.
Javi laughed, eyes crinkling joyfully at the blush spreading fast across Yuzuru’s cheeks and down his neck.
“You alright there, Yuzu? I was just coming to say I bought dinner, but if you’d rather be left alone to curse people under your breath I can start eating without you,” he teased.
“I wasn’t cursing anybody!” Yuzuru lied, trying and failing to hide his embarrassment.
Javi laughed again. “I’m just joking, Yuzu.” He stepped into the room, taking one of Yuzu’s hands and pulling him out of bed. “But seriously, let’s eat while the food is hot. Then we can play some video games or watch a movie together. I need a break from studying after that physics test.”
Yuzuru let himself be led downstairs, barely listening as Javi started talking about his day, too distracted by the fact that Javi hadn’t let go of his hand. He felt a tingling warmth spreading up from where they touched and travelling to the rest of his body. He tried to will his quickening heartbeat to settle down. He knew it was just a platonic handhold and didn’t want to read too deeply into it, but it made him feel happy and safe, and for just a moment he wanted to soak in those feelings.
After unwrapping their take out, they settled in front of the TV, sitting next to each other on their lumpy second-hand sofa. They’d barely started eating before Javi was already turning pleading eyes on Yuzuru and pouting cutely, knowing he couldn’t resist the adorable puppy dog expression.
Yuzu considered the open sandwich Javi was holding out to him before rolling his eyes and delicately picking out the thick slices of tomato.
“I don’t get why you never ask them to just take the tomatoes out if you hate them so much,” he grumbled, even as he popped the red fruit pieces into his mouth, savoring their sweet and tart flavor.
“I don’t hate them, I just think they’re weird in the sandwich,” Javi said, smiling smugly as he watched Yuzu finish them off.
“You get the same sandwich every time and always make me eat the tomatoes!”
“Yeah, but it’s because I know you love them,” Javi replied, turning his attention back to the baseball game they had playing on the screen.
Yuzuru blinked, not expecting that response.
“What? I never told you that,” he said looking down at his own noodle bowl, half eaten and momentarily forgotten.
Javi shrugged, taking a bite of his now tomato-less sandwich. “We’ve known each other for so long, I think it’d be weirder if I didn’t know what your favorite foods were.” He glanced back at Yuzu with a knowing smile. “Plus, if I didn’t offer them to you, I know you’d just ask for them later.”
“That’s because I don’t like wasting food!” Yuzuru said, picking up his bowl and making a show of eating the stewed vegetables as if to prove his point.
“Speaking of wasting food… how was your last date? I heard from Nobu that it ended early before you even got to the actual eating dinner part.” Javi said with a raised brow.
Since this entire thing had started, they’d gotten into the habit of talking about his dates and processing them together. Javi was genuinely interested in Yuzuru’s romantic quests and tried his best to be supportive. Usually though, they just ended up laughing about the weird things that would happen on these dates and then complain about their shared troubles in love.
“Ugh… It was horrible!” Yuzuru groaned. “I think I’m actually a bit scarred from it. I told Nobu I needed a break after this one.”
“Really? You only have a few days left until Valentine’s right?”
“I’m just so tired of all these dates,” he sighed. “I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing spending time I don’t really have with people I’m not invested in.”
Javi nodded in understanding, knowing that unlike himself, Yuzu sometimes felt drained after meeting a bunch of new people. “But not all of them were bad, right? You’re having fun sometimes, like that time you went to the archery range.”
Yuzuru considered it for a while before nodding back. “Yeah, some of them are nice, and I don’t hate any of the dates, it’s just…” he trailed off, thinking about what kept him from pursuing a second date. “I just don’t feel a connection with any of them. And even when I’m doing something fun, I kind of wish I was with my friends instead.”
He grimaced, knowing how bad he was sounding. “I don’t want to be mean or unfair, and maybe I’m just picky. But honestly, the thought of going on another date right now sounds horrible. I just want to be here with you.”
He immediately regretted how that last part came out. It was practically a confession, and he didn’t want Javi to be weirded out. He was just about to take it back, clarifying in a way that sounded more friendly and not so intimate, but when he saw Javi’s pleased expression, he stopped himself.
“I know what you mean, Yuzu,” Javi said, looking thoughtful. “Everyone keeps asking me about when I’m going to start dating again, and who I’ve been talking to, but I just don’t feel like I’m in any rush.” He threw him a charming smile that Yuzu refused to interpret as flirting. “I’m happy right now, just hanging out with you like this.”
Yuzuru gave him a small smile back, touched by the sentiment but also helplessly disappointed at the plainly platonic way Javi was meaning, clearly distinguishing his dating life from hanging out with Yuzu. It wasn’t anything he didn’t expect, but he couldn’t help his foolish heart from hoping.
“Now, tell me what happened during this date. This sounds like a good story and I want to hear how bad it actually was,” Javi said, turning the TV volume down and settling more comfortably into the couch.
Yuzuru laughed, before diving into a dramatic retelling, making sure to exaggerate and embellish his story just so he could be rewarded with Javi’s thrilled reactions and delighted laughter.
It was February 10th, and Yuzuru was getting anxious.
It was the middle of the day, and he really should've been doing almost anything else but laying in bed and staring at his ceiling, contemplating life.
He’d been turning down every one of Nobu’s blind dates since Takeru, enjoying his time with Javi instead. Usually they just hung out at home, but recently they’d started going out together more than usual, just the two of them. Nothing special or anything; a walk in the park, a movie theater visit, or going out to eat when they got sick of staying at home. It was nice, and even without the quickly spiraling out of control crush Yuzuru was still sporting on his friend, it was the exact kind of easy activity that he liked most of all, being in good company the most important thing.
He knew he needed to refocus on his dating life, especially if he was ever going to get over his unrequited feelings, but it was hard to do that when Javier was so wonderful and generous with his easy smiles and warm hugs and soft words. Yuzuru doesn’t think he’s ever been more comfortable with anyone else, and he doesn’t know how he could expect to find someone even close to being as good to him as Javi was in the next 4 days.
He didn’t want to give up though, and not just because he’d swore he could do it to Nobu. These last few days, feeling what might be love, or as close as he’s ever gotten to it, he was finally starting to understand why everyone was so obsessed with the emotion. It was hard, and unquestionably difficult to control sometimes, causing him pain and fear like nothing else ever had, but in a way, that almost made the good moments more beautiful. The quiet comfort he felt just being near the person he liked the most, and the joy that filled his chest close to bursting whenever he made Javi laugh or smile, those were the moments he’d started treasuring the most, collecting the memories like precious keepsakes, wanting to protect and hold them close.
Eventually he was going to have to learn to move on though, because he wasn’t sure how much more he could take. The other day, studying with his headphones in and books sprawled across the dining room table, he’d almost gotten a heart attack when Javi walked into the kitchen with nothing but a towel wrapped loosely around his waist.
They’d been living together for more than a year, and Yuzuru had seen Javi half naked plenty of times. It was never a big deal, and it shouldn’t have been now, but his eyes had never been so glued to another person the way it was in that moment. He’d never been so intrigued by the hard line of muscle down Javi’s back before, or fascinated by the flex of his arms as he moved across the room. He watched the steady rise and fall of Javi’s chest as he came closer, and barely held himself back from moaning out loud at the sight of glowing bronze skin, glistening with leftover water droplets from his recent shower.
“Hey Yuzu! Didn’t know you’d be studying here today,” Javi said, oblivious to Yuzuru’s agonizing state of panicked desire. “You gonna be home all day?”
Yuzuru swallowed, before nodding stiffly and trying to keep his eyes on Javi’s face. It was only slightly safer territory, as Yuzuru found those plush lips particularly kissable so up close.
“I should be studying too, but I promised Patrick I’d help him set up his computer today. Maybe I’ll join you when I get back?” he kept talking, still standing impossibly close to Yuzuru. He tried not to think about the fact that Javi’s naked body was within arm’s reach, clenching his fist against his thighs as he offered a strained smile in response.
“Well, good luck. I saw you in here and wanted to say hi, but I should go get dressed now. I’m already late!” he said, finally and thankfully starting to move away, turning back to the hallway that led to his room.
As soon as Javi disappeared from view, Yuzuru’s eyes shamefully glued to his ass as he rounded the corner, he let out a gasping breath, realizing he’d broken out into an embarrassing sweat. He wasn’t sure how the hell Javi hadn’t noticed him nearly dying just then, but he was grateful to have survived.
He couldn’t risk another moment like that again, making sure to only study in his room from then on, and steering clear from the bathroom whenever Javier was taking a shower. He was ashamed of himself for acting like a horny teenager, unable to control his raging hormones, but damn it, Nobu was right. He did think Javi was hot, and the suggestion to just go for it and kiss him was sounding more and more tempting every day.
It was also sounding more and more terrifying as well though, as Yuzuru realized his feelings were rapidly moving beyond just a simple crush, especially since he didn’t believe they were reciprocated.
But it didn’t matter anyway, since it wasn’t going to happen. Yuzuru had already reaffirmed his commitment to finding a date for Valentine’s day again, calling Nobu about setting something up soon. It was a last ditch effort to find someone special by the 14th, and maybe it wouldn’t be something as serious as a boyfriend or girlfriend situation like Nobu originally asked for, but at least he might finally find someone he could see himself actually dating and wanting to invest in a relationship with. Someone that wasn’t his roommate that is.
He sighed loudly, continuing to stare at his bedroom ceiling. He just hoped his poor little heart would be able to take whatever happened in the future.
With only 2 days left to go, Yuzuru was nervously waiting for his mystery date in the same restaurant where he’d met Takeru just a few days prior. Nobu must’ve thought he was hilarious, setting him up like this. For the first time, he hadn’t even given Yuzuru any details on who he would be meeting, despite knowing he’d previously had a traumatizing experience here, making the situation even more nerve-wracking than it had to be.
He bit his lip worriedly and checked his phone again, growing more frustrated now that his date was running more than 5 minutes late, closer to 10.
“Yuzuru!” He looked over at the sound of his name, heart skipping a beat as he was surprised to see a formally dressed Javier running towards him excitedly. “Wow, you look great! I’m so happy to see you!”
Yuzu smiled back, trying not to let his confusion and anxiety show. They’d pass each other on their way out this morning, not to mention they’d been gaming together the night before, so it was a weird thing to say.
Yuzuru decided to let the strange comment slide, feeling himself blush at Javi’s compliment instead. Seeing him right now was going to be hard on his fragile heart and tender feelings, but Javi's presence never failed to calm Yuzu’s nerves and make him feel at ease, so he got up to greet him with a tight hug, letting his happiness at seeing him take over.
“What are you doing here?” Yuzu asked after gesturing for him to take the still empty seat across from him. If his mystery date didn’t show up on time, then that was their problem.
“Uhh, well... I’m here to see you, actually,” Javi said in an uncharacteristically nervous tone, clearing his throat. “Sorry for being late! I got off at the wrong stop,” he added sheepishly.
It took Yuzu a moment to understand what that statement meant, and when he did, he could feel his eyes widen comically.
“You mean… you are…?” he could barely get the words out, as shocked as he felt.
“Yeah?” Javi said, nervously bringing a hand to brush through his curls. “Are you very surprised? I hope you don’t mind. Nobu said it would be a good idea,” he was speaking quickly, pulling lightly on his tie with his other hand.
Yuzuru groaned, throwing his face into his hands. He was gonna murder Nobu.
That seemed to relax Javi a bit as he laughed, resting an assuring hand on Yuzu’s arm. “Hey now, that’s not how you should greet a date!”
Yuzu peeked an eye through his fingers to see Javi leaning forward and beaming at him. “I’m not that bad, am I?” he asked with a teasing wink.
“I’m so sorry Javi, you don’t have to be here right now. I can call Nobu and tell him it was a mistake,” he managed to force out in a steady voice through the embarrassment.
“Yuzu, no,” Javi said softly, shaking his head. “You said a couple days ago that you were happiest just hanging out with me. I asked Nobu to do this. Thought I could replace a bad memory with something special.”
As soon as he said that, Javi suddenly froze, a horrified expression spreading across his face.
“Oh no, do you not… Is this not… are you upset with me?” Javier asked, a little breathless.
Yuzu couldn’t respond right away, just fervently shaking his head while his brain was still trying to catch up with the situation.
“Javi, what do you mean you asked Nobu to do this?” he finally asked.
“I meant it too, you know? When I said I didn’t want to do the same old dating as before. I liked being with you the best.” Javier replied, eyes earnest and reaching a hand forward towards Yuzuru. He sounded genuine, and it made Yuzuru’s heart pound.
He grabbed Javi’s hand, stroking his skin before tangling their fingers together almost unconsciously, hope rushing through his body.
“Do you mean you want to try dating me? Is that why you’re here?” Yuzuru asked quietly.
“Yes. If that’s what you want too. I’ve been trying to drop hints that I like you, but you never seemed to get any of them,” he said, and Yuzuru gasped in realization.
“Wait, all those little smiles and holding my hand… have you been flirting with me?”
Javier chuckled, using his thumb to caress the back of Yuzu’s hand. “All the time. You always blushed so prettily but never said anything in return so I wasn’t sure if I was just reading you wrong.”
“Oh my God, I’m so stupid!” Yuzuru said, laughing helplessly at himself.
“You are! I even found you after my shower the other day but you didn’t even say anything! I was so embarrassed,” Javi said, as Yuzuru groaned in response.
“I didn’t say anything because I almost died Javi! Have you ever seen yourself naked?” he blurted out shamelessly.
Javier squeezed his hand, grinning widely. “So you do like me? We’re both such idiots.”
Yuzuru shook his head again, guiltily, “No, I’m the biggest idiot. You’ve liked me this whole time and I was making you listen to me talk about all my stupid dates,” he said, suddenly feeling terrible. If it was the other way around, him secretly pining after Javi while he talked about a new girl or boy everyday he would’ve withered away in heartbreak.
“It was hard at first, but I liked hearing about what made you happy. Hearing you talk about what you wanted in a partner actually helped make me feel more confident in trying with you. After you told me you were going to start trying to date again, I called Nobu right away, knowing that I couldn’t sit around and wait forever.” Javier said.
“I’m so glad you did Javi. I was going crazy thinking nothing was ever going to happen, so I stupidly tried to find what I had with you with someone else. But I knew that was never going to work,” Yuzuru admitted.
“I want to do this right though, and be honest,” Yuzuru continued, taking a deep breath. “Javier Fernandez, I like you. More than I’ve ever liked anyone. It scares me sometimes, because I don’t have any experience with this, and even though you say you feel the same, I’m scared you’ll change your mind one day.” He appreciated that Javi didn’t try to interrupt him, even though he clearly wanted to object. “But you also make me feel so safe and comfortable, I think I can be strong enough to try, as long as you want to, too.”
“Yuzuru, I do want to try. From the moment I met you, I think you’ve been the brightest person in my life. I always felt good with you. Even before we became roommates, you've felt like home to me." He bit his lip, cheeks flushing at the confession. "You make me braver, and I want to do the same for you.”
“Okay, let’s do it.” Yuzuru said with emotion, eyes turning into crescents as he smiled up at Javier, hardly believing that this was really happening.
Javi pulled Yuzu in to kiss the back of his hand. “This is crazy. I'm so happy right now! I can’t wait to tell Nobu it actually worked,” he said with a soft chuckle.
Yuzuru laughed, leaning in closer. “I never back down from a challenge, Javi. I told Nobu I’d find a boyfriend for Valentine’s day and I am very stubborn,” he said, before finally pressing their lips together.