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A distant ringing reverberated through your dreams, interrupting elusive thoughts of carbon ghosts and malicious stone golems. It took you a second or two, but after blinking away the foggy remnants of sleep, you realized it was the doorbell.
With a groan, you rolled over to check the time on your ancient alarm clock. Five minutes till six. Suppressing a loud yawn, you pushed yourself out of bed and slipped on your slippers to see who was visiting so early.
It was probably Caroline, coming in to request the freshest produce of the day, or Kent to drop off some of his spare bombs again. But when you glimpsed through the curtains, you were surprised to see neither—instead, there stood Shane, gripping at his sweater while staring at the hardwood ground beneath him.
Brows rising, you quickly stumbled over to the door and pulled it open. You didn’t expect to see him so soon again after what happened last night, let alone on your porch. Upon detecting you, he immediately lifted his gaze from the ground to meet yours. His expression was indecipherable.
“Shane?” Your hand lingered at the door, brows creasing together in a mixture of confusion and concern. “You’re out of the clinic.” You hardly noticed how dumb the statement sounded when it flew past your lips—he looked so pale, with black circles underneath his eyes much darker than usual, and his hair a mess, sticking out every which way. After another second, you noticed he was also missing his usual blue Joja sweater in exchange for a thin, gray one. He seemed off without it.
“Hey. Yeah, I um. I got discharged. But uh,” Shane took a deep breath and shoved his hands into his pockets, shaking his head as he muttered. “Man, how do I say this…”
You watched as he pursed his lips together, staring back at the ground as he tried to gather his thoughts.
“I’m really sorry about what happened at the cliffs. It was… embarrassing. To say the least. And you shouldn’t have had to see me like that.”
His vulnerability immediately forced your thoughts back to the forest, where you’d found him lying there surrounded by bottles in the pouring rain, debating the termination of his own existence. Your grip on the door tightened as you fought the urge to walk up to him and wrap him up in a hug. To tell him he didn’t need to apologize, and that you were just glad you were there to help. That you don’t know what you would have done if you weren’t.
Instead, you only shook your head. “I’m just glad you’re still here.”
He let out an ironic laugh, scratching the back of his neck. “That serious huh? Honestly, I can hardly remember…”
An awkward silence fell between you two then, neither person knowing what to say next. You were about to invite him in for tea or coffee, but then he spoke up.
“Harvey got me in touch with a colleague of his, so I’m going to start seeing a therapist. And taking medication too. Which means I’ll be avoiding cliffs in the future.” He gave you a small smile. “Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for taking care of me. And… I want you to know that I’m going to take things a little more seriously from now on. I don’t want to be a burden to anyone.”
“I’m glad to hear that. You deserve happiness as much as anyone.”
Shane pursed his lips. Then nodded. “Thanks.”
Marking this end of the conversation, he turned around and started to head back—but before he could take the first step down, you stopped him.
“Shane—wait.”
You bit your lip as he looked at you expectantly, and took a step forward. Before you could stop yourself, you jabbered out:
“Can I give you a hug?”
Shane stared at you. You waited. Then, slowly as if he were uncertain of his own response, he shrugged. “Sure.”
In two steps, you closed the gap between you and wrapped your arms around him in a tight embrace. He immediately stiffened, standing there with his arms dangling at his sides as if he didn’t know what to do with them. He was freezing.
You ignored his hammering chest and tighten your grip around him, thinking only of how chilly this morning air was, and how he might catch a cold if you didn’t transfer some of your own warmth. Finally, Shane returned the embrace—gingerly at first—before eventually allowing himself to melt into the hug. His arms enveloped you a little more tightly than you would’ve expected them to.
You held him until he was the first to let go.