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“Do you have a shovel? Because I’m digging you!”
Hoseok wiggles his eyebrows, gaze shifting between his friends as he looks at them for approval, but is only met with a mixture of disgusted and disappointed faces.
“Fine. How about…” Hoseok pauses scrolling through his phone. “Aha! Do you drink soda? Because you look so-da-licious.”
He looks up with a somewhat proud grin this time, but the complete silence and neutral faces that greet him makes him frown. Still, Hoseok perseveres. “Okay wait, I got it! Is your name Earl Grey? Because you look like a hot-tea!”
“Hoseok. Seok-ah. Hoshikie.” Seokjin says gently, softly, cutting him off, but his eyes and facial expressions ooze judgment. “I love you. I adore you. I’ll kill multiple people for you, but you cannot, and I repeat, you cannot under any circumstance whatsoever every use those, okay? Not today. Not after he agrees to go out with you. Not even after he falls in love with you. Okay?”
Hoseok’s face falls at the criticism and he protests, voice rising. “But why? I thought that was a good pick up line!”
“It really wasn’t.” Jungkook chimes in from where he’s sitting beside Seokjin, playing some gameon his phone. “Why Earl Grey, anyway? It’s not like he’s white.”
“Well, I’m sorry I couldn’t find any pick up lines targeted towards Koreans on the internet.” Hoseok mutters, looking down at his phone.
“That’s discrimination,” Taehyung chimes in from where he’s fixing the leg of Hoseok’s pants. He stands up, next, taking a step back and nodding at his handiwork, and then pats Hoseok’s behind. “I love you, hyung, but I’m with Seokjin hyung on this one. Those are all terrible.”
“This one’s really good! Listen. Damn, how can you be hotter than the bottom of my laptop. Huh, huh?” He wiggles his eyebrows again.
“Too much real, too little funny.” Yoongi cuts him off this time, and Seokjin, Jungkook, and Taehyung all snicker.
Hoseok pouts.
“You’re all terrible. I need a conversation starter. What am I supposed to do? Just go up and talk to him?”
“Um, yeah?” Taehyung looks at him as if he’s nuts. “That’s exactly what you’re supposed to do.”
“But I’m not a good conversationalist!” Hoseok explains in a duh tone of voice. “I have to capture his attention somehow. Gotta impress him so he says yes to going out with me.”
“Hyung,” Jungkook says, looking up at him with the most sombre of expressions. “If you really think that you going in there and calling him Earl Grey is going to capture his attention and impress him enough to make him say yes to a date with you, then you’ve already lost.”
“Hey!” Hoseok calls out, offended. “Bad jokes and pick up lines worked for Seokjin hyung, didn’t they?”
“First of all—” Seokjin holds up a finger, “—that’s cause my jokes are actually funny, whereas these pick up lines you stole from the internet are terrible. Second of all, it’s cause I look like this.”
Seokjin grins, pointing at his own visage.
Yoongi looks up from his phone and nods his head. “I can confirm that it was indeed cause he looked like that and not because of his bad jokes that I said yes.”
“Wait, what?” Seokjin whips his head around to glare at his boyfriend as Taehyung, Hoseok, and Jungkook all simultaneously burst into laughter. “My jokes aren’t bad. They’re funny! You said yes to me because of my looks? You vain son of a bitch!”
“Did you know almost 50% of people think they’re funnier than they are?” Taehyung chimes in, taking a seat on the arm chair next to Yoongi.
“Well, the stats check out in this group.” Jungkook responds, grinning mockingly at Hoseok.
“I know,” Taehyung says with a laugh. “That’s who they were based off of.”
Hoseok rolls his eyes, turning away from the group and towards the mirror behind him to check out his outfit. He nods his head in appreciation, meets Taehyung’s eyes through the glass and giving him a grateful smile. “You all suck. Except maybe Taehyung, but only because he helped me get dressed. Otherwise all of you really suck.”
“Just go up to the guy and ask him out, Hoseok-ah,” Yoongi tells him gently. “You’re cute, you’re fun to talk to, and you’re a good person. If he can’t see that, then that’s his loss.”
“Yes, what Yoongi said.” Seokjin echoes the sentiment, smiling at Hoseok through the mirror. “If Kim Namjoon can’t see how great of a guy you are, then we’ll just have to find you someone better.”
Hoseok sighs, but there’s a smile on his face. He knows that his friends are objectively right, and it’s not that he really wants to pressure Namjoon into saying yes either if he isn’t interested. Hoseok might not be good at a lot of things, but he’s great at taking a hint and not making people uncomfortable. Still, he secretly prays for tonight to be a success.
—
The house is absolutely packed, enough people in the place for Hoseok to feel a little bit claustrophobic. A gentle hand comes to rest on the small of his back, and he smells Seokjin’s cologne before he barely hears him right in his ear, “You okay?”
“Yeah,” Hoseok says, accompanying it with a nod in case Seokjin doesn’t hear him. “Thanks.”
“Do you need help looking for him?” Seokjin asks next, his grin cheeky enough to make Hoseok giggle.
“I’ll be fine. Don't worry. Go enjoy the party.” Hoseok tells him, and Seokjin gives him a thumbs up before they part ways. Taking a deep breath, he looks around the room, wondering how he was going to find Namjoon among all of these people.
“Okay, think,” he mutters out loud to himself. “Where would he be?”
He walks around the place, staying close to the edges, to the walls. “If I was Kim Namjoon, where would I be? Huh, that sounded a little creepy. Maybe I need to stop watching all those true crime documentaries with Jungkook. But if I really was Namjoon, I probably wouldn’t be here in the midst of this whole crowd, right?”
Taking a chance, Hoseok heads towards the spiral set of stairs, walking up, pleased to find it’s not as packed as the first floor. He sticks next to the railing, peering down hallways to see if he spots anyone with Namjoon’s silhouette but to no avail.
His phone buzzes in his pocket, and he pauses in his tracks, grabbing it to check the text.
taetae
just saw ur namjoon
down by the pool
ur welcome
buy me lunch tomorrow as thx
me
he’s not my namjoon
but thank u
hyung will treat u tomorrow
taetae
u mean he’s not ur namjoon
…yet :)
Hoseok laughs, shaking his head, making a mental note to invite Taehyung out to his favourite restaurant tomorrow. Abandoning his upstairs search, he walks back down to the first floor, standing on his tip toes to look for the doors that lead out to the pool.
He finds them easily enough, and looks around after stepping out to the pool area. He meets Taehyung’s eyes first.
Taehyung's standing on the right hand side of the pool, talking to someone Hoseok doesn't recognize, but still stops mid-conversation to gesture with his head to the area on Hoseok’s left that’s hidden by the curvature of the house.
Mouthing a quick thanks, Hoseok walks forward turning left, and almost immediately spots Namjoon standing there, his back turned to Hoseok. He’s dressed casually in jeans and a t-shirt that not only outlines his back but also exposes his arms out for the world to see.
The sight makes Hoseok feel a little overdressed in his dress shirt and leather pants, but he tries not to think too hard about it. He walks over towards where Namjoon is standing, and despite all the advice from his friends, he knows exactly what he wants to say tonight to get Namjoon’s attention.
He clears his throat.
“Are you a fermata? Because I want to hold you.”
Hoseok pales a little, mouth falling open, when Namjoon’s head turns, the movements a little jerky, to look at him, and he spots another person standing with Namjoon.
Of course. Hoseok berates himself mentally. Of course, he’s going to be standing there talking to someone else, and not be by himself like some idiot.
“Well, hello there,” the other person greets Hoseok first, and it takes him a few seconds to place his face. Park Jimin. He recognizes him from the one time Taehyung had introduced them to each other, but doubts the other guy remembers him at all.
“Uh, hi,” Hoseok replies in a panic, looking for any sort of excuse. He sneaks a glance at Namjoon, dying a little inside when he sees the confused look on his face, and just barely manages to stutter out. “Uh, sorry, I’m so sorry, I thought you were someone else. I’m just gonna…”
Jimin interrupts him, his eyes gleaming in a way that Hoseok absolutely does not like, “Oh? Then that great pick up line wasn’t meant for Joonie?”
Joonie? Hoseok thinks, trying his best to keep his face neutral.
“Oh, um no, sorry, I thought he was someone else.” Hoseok lies through his teeth, trying to smile casually even as every cell in his body screams at him.
“Really? Who?” Jimin asks leaning forward conspiratorially, eyes sparkling with curiosity. “Can we help?”
“Um.”
“Jimin!” Namjoon comes to his rescue, turning to his companion. “Why would he tell you, a stranger, that?”
“Oh, we’re not strangers,” Jimin smiles at Namjoon, touching his arm, and Hoseok can’t help but focus on his hand resting there…casually, oh so casually, on Namjoon’s arm. “I’ve told you about Taehyung, right? Kim Taehyung? He’s from my Asian Art History class? That’s his friend! Hoseok, right? Jeon Hoseok?”
“Jung.” Hoseok and Namjoon say at the same time, and Hoseok looks at Namjoon, confused as to how he knows.
“Oh?” There’s something absolutely devious about the look in Jimin’s eyes, and Hoseok finds that it fills his stomach with dread. “You know him, too, Joonbug?”
Joonbug?? Hoseok’s mind screams at him, but he refuses to jump to conclusions. If Jimin really was dating Namjoon like he was starting to suspect, he’s sure Taehyung would’ve told him. But that’s only if Taehyung actually knew…
“First of all, don’t call me that.” Namjoon protests.
“Oh, please, we all know you love it…Joonbug.” Jimin taunts and another part of Hoseok dies when Namjoon rolls his eyes with a smile but doesn’t deny it.
“Anyways, yes, I know him, we’re in my Intro to Music Theory class together.”
Hoseok isn’t really sure how to react to Namjoon, Kim Namjoon, knowing about them being in the same class, much less knowing his whole name. Although the most obviosu thing would be to confirm Namjoon’s statement, the best his panic-induced brain comes up with is, “Are we?”
“Yeah…” Namjoon says slowly, turning to look at him. “I think we are. I’ve seen you.”
“Oh right,” Hoseok gets out, willing himself to act as cool and collected as he can muster. “You do look familiar now that I look at you.”
Namjoon smiles a little uncomfortably, turning back to Jimin.
“So, who’s the fermat you thought Joonbug was? Can we help you find him?” Jimin offers again, smiling at Hoseok.
“Um.” Hoseok says again.
“Fermata,” Namjoon corrects Jimin. “Fermat was the French mathematician. Fermata is the music symbol.”
He turns to Hoseok and offers a smile, “I’m sorry, please ignore Jimin. He’s just a little too interested in other people’s affairs.”
“Hey!”
Namjoon spares Jimin a glance, the two sharing a smile, and Hoseok feels a pang in his chest. He turns to him after his and Jimin's little moment, and says, “I hope you find your fermata soon though.”
The dimples he directs Hoseok’s way makes him weak, but he can’t bring himself to say much more than “—uh, thanks.”
“I’m gonna go now,” Hoseok tells them both, turning around and walking away as quickly as he can without running, humiliation sweeping through every pore of his body. Taehyung’s right on his heels as soon as he enters the house party, asking him what happened.
“Oh I fucked up,” Hoseok tells him, repeating himself when Taehyung leans him to hear him. “I should just leave right now.”
“What happened though?” Taehyung asks him, pulling him into a quieter corner. “Did he say no?”
“No, I didn't even ask him anything. Not after Jimin was all over him the way he was.”
“Jimin?” Taehyung looks confused. “Like the Park Jimin from my Art History class?”
“Yes,” Hoseok moans, putting his face in his hands. “God, I’m so stupid. I’m pretty sure they’re a thing, and even if they’re not, I’m so stupid. I should have never used any of those stupid pick up lines.”
“You used a pick up line even after we expressly told you no to?" Taehyung asks, horrified. "Don't tell me which one. I don't want to hear it! No wait, actually tell me which one. What did you say?"
“Um,” Hoseok pauses, gauging Taehyung’s expression before repeating. “Are you a fermata? Because I want to hold you.”
Taehyung covers his mouth immediately, turning around to hide his laughter, but Hoseok sees clear as day the way his shoulders quake in mirth.
“It’s really not that funny.”
“It’s—” Taehyung turns around at that, pressing a hand to the wall and leaning onto it. He’s trying to keep a straight face, Hoseok can tell, but there’s a stupid little grin dancing on the edges of his lips. “It’s um, it’s actually not that bad.”
“Let’s try that once more, maybe a little more convincing this time?”
Taehyung laughs at Hoseok’s sour tone, “Okay fine, fine. How did he react when you said that though?”
“It doesn’t matter.” Hoseok waves a hand to dismiss the question. “I told him I mistook him for someone else. And then Park Jimin asked if they could help me find fermata at which point I said um and then left. Like an idiot.”
“So, it was Jimin from Art History? Are you absolutely sure they’re dating, because I’m like 99.99% sure Jimin is single.”
“I don’t know,” Hoseok mutters, feeling a stupid little flicker of hope at Taehyung’s statement about Jimin being single. “He was touching Namjoon and kept calling him these cute little nicknames like Joonie and Joonbug.”
“I mean that doesn’t mean much. Jimin’s just a touchy person, and we ahave cute nicknames for each other too. But you don’t see us dating each other. Well…except for Seokjin and Yoongi hyung, but that doesn’t count.”
“Yeah, but it’s the way he was saying it.” Hoseok frowns, thinking back to his interaction with Namjoon and Jimin earlier. “Are you completely sure Jimin’s single?”
“I’m pretty sure he told me about going on a date with someone he just met last week, and based off how familiar him and Namjoon seemed from what you say, I’m gonna guess that wasn’t Namjoon.” Taehyung stops to think. “Unless they have some sort of an open relationship? But I don't think that's likely.”
“I don’t know,” Hoseok mumbles but that flicker of hope he had earlier turns into a whole fire at Taehyung’s words. “Maybe they’re just close friends.”
“I’m sure they are!” Taehyung reassures him. “Now, go get your man, and please don’t call him a fermata this time.”
Hoseok smiles, “Thanks Taehyung-ah, I’ll buy you your favourite for lunch tomorrow.”
“That’s the spirit!”
—
“Are you a library book, because I’m totally checking you out.”
“Uh,” Namjoon say this time as he turns around, and Hoseok’s stomach drops once again when he sees the other man holding his phone to his ear, someone speaking on other end of the line.
“Hey, can you hold on for a second?” Namjoon whispers into his phone. “I know, I know, just give me a second, alright? Matter of fact, let me just call you back, okay?”
Hoseok panics when Namjoon hangs up, and he falls back to his old excuse.
“I’m so sorry—” Hoseok says immediately, holding out a hand. “I thought, um—”
“—I was someone else?” Namjoon asks, interrupting him while smiling.
“Er, um, yeah.” Hoseok nods, looking around for an escape of some sort. “Your, uh, back. You have a very common back. I thought you were someone else.”
“A very common back…” Namjoon repeats, looking a little confused. “I wasn’t aware people could have a common back.”
“I don’t mean a common back. Like you just look very generic from the back.” Hoseok wishes he could put his hand in his mouth to shut himself up.
“A generic…back.” Namjoon tilts his head, a small smile on his lips. “Thank you? I’ve never heard that before.”
“I’m so sorry,” Hoseok mutters, covering his face with his hand. “That isn’t what I mean at all.”
“No?” Namjoon smiles, baring his dimples and Hoseok feels a little weak. “What did you mean then?”
Hoseok takes a deep breath, looking around and wondering how to get himself out of the situation. “Well, um, well you see…”
“Hey.” Namjoon interrupts him, and Hoseok swallows, turning to look at him. “Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for.”
Hoseok’s mouth drops open, and he doesn’t know what to do apart from stare at Namjoon in shock.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Namjoon grins cheekily. “I, uh, thought you were someone else.”
Hoseok stares at him dumbly, pulling himself together just enough to say, “This cannot be happening. Did that just happen?”
“If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.” Namjoon bares his dimples to him.
“Oh. My. God.” Hoseok says out loud, staring at Namjoon with completely wide eyes. “That did just happen.”
Namjoon laughs. “It did.”
“I’m, uh, I don’t know what to say?”
“How about whatever you planned on saying before you panicked each time.” Namjoon offers gently.
“Right, um, right. That’s an excellent suggestion. You’re very smart.”
“So, I’ve been told,” Namjoon nods in agreement. “Well, then?”
“Okay, so, uh, hi,” Hoseok waves. “My name’s Hoseok, I’m in your Intro to Music Theory class as you already seem to know, and I would like to go on a date with you.”
“Oh?” Namjoon looks disappointed. “No new pick up line?”
“I mean, I can use another if you want me to?” Hoseok offers quickly, pulling out his phone. “I just thought since we’ve already exchanged a couple, we’d met the threshold for the day?”
Namjoon laughs, and nods his head. “That is very true. I think we have fulfilled today’s quota, but tomorrow’s gonna be a new day. And now to answer your earlier question, I would love to go on a date with you.”
Hoseok’s lips stretch so wide it almost hurts, and Namjoon mirrors the look on his face.
“So,” Namjoon shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans, arms flexing as he does so. “Is this where we kiss?”
Hoseok smiles. He steps forward, placing his hands on either side of Namjoon’s face, and then leans up to mash their lips together.
Fin