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The air was still around them as she stared at Hanako, her hands shaking as it dawned on her that he was going to leave. She blinked once, and then once again not willing to believe that he was going to be gone. That Aoi was no longer one of the living. Aoi had taken her place. Her friend, her beloved friend was going to leave her. How had she ended up here. How had she lost them both at the same time. How had she been stupid enough to let this happen. Hanako wandered closer to her, his smile as mischievous as always. His hands were no longer warm, he was no longer human like he had been just a few weeks ago. But when he caught her shoulders she could imagine his warmth. It was there once, it was there and she wished she could feel him again.
The world was cruel, even in his dying moments she wouldn’t be able to feel the warmth of his hand in hers or the warm pressure of his forehead pressed against her. She was battling the tears that were beginning to form. She opened her eyes to see Hanako beginning to break. Piece by piece he was falling away. For once, Nene Yashiro saw Hanako as fragile.
She lifted her hands and gripped onto his clothes hoping her grip was enough to keep him here as he whispered to her what it is he had done. What he had done for her. She shook her head, the tears falling freely as she held onto him. She should have never made that wish. She wanted to live but she wanted to live with them. She wanted to make him donuts and pester him about his past. She wanted to do so many things. And he has ripped it away from her.
How was she supposed to be angry when the thing he took from her was himself? Didn’t Hanako know how much she cared for him? Didn’t he know she would do anything for him?
“Yashiro,” he whispered, pushing the strands of her hair falling into her face behind her ears so he could see her face clearly. “I did this for you.”
The flash of anger she felt was enough to bang her fists onto his already fragile chest. He didn’t even flinch as she gripped the fabric of his tight clothing and pulled him closer to her. Her head was pressed against his chest and she had doubled over in pain. She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t see, and her ears were ringing because it was her fault. It was her fault. Akane would hate her and Kou, if this was all true, he would lose Mitsuba all over again. This was her fault. The stabs of sharp pain in her chest as she imagined Kou in the exact situation she was in right now. She wouldn't be able to face either of them again. Akane might have already lost Aoi. What would he do when he figured Hanako had done this for Nene? The boy already disliked Hanako enough. Would he hate her now too?
She felt Hanako’s fingers underneath her chin as she felt the guilt begin to pull her under. She shook her head slightly, willing the tears away. If this was the last time she would see him she wanted to see him clearly. She wanted to be present.
“Yashiro,” he murmured, lifting her face so they could make eye contact. “I know you’re angry. But everyone knew I would do anything for you to live.” His smile was sad but she couldn’t see an ounce of regret in any of his features. He was shattering faster now and she couldn’t do a single thing to help. She watched in utter disbelief, she didn’t know why she did it maybe it was desperation. Maybe it was the fact that she would never see him again.
Maybe it was the fact that she had wanted this ever since the Confession Tree fiasco. But she did it. She leaned in and pressed a small soft kiss onto the ghost boy’s lips. It wasn’t anything like the wet kisses she had read about in her stories. He wasn’t a beautiful prince that would own her heart for the rest of their lives. He was none of that but all the same the warmth in her chest and the euphoria she felt from something that seemed so small was almost too much. Hanako looked surprised, his hands frozen on her shoulders. His expression quickly turned guilty as he pulled her into him crushing her into his chest as he muttered apologies into her hair.
Nene couldn’t stop shaking. How long did they have now? Another hour? Minutes? Seconds? But she couldn’t move. No one had ever held her like this before she shivered slightly as Hanako dug his hand into her hair and tipped her face up once again so he could whisper into her ear. His hat hung low over his eyes and his usual smirk was gone. His hands were shaky too as he moved a strand of hair and whispered one last thing to her. “I wanted to try living with you too.”
With those final words Hanako fell away. Nene had felt his hands in her hair, his breath had tickled her ear. How could he be gone? How could he have been there and just left her? She was supposed to serve him, she was supposed to be his friend. She was going to make him donuts and learn about his past. She was going to tell him how she felt…
She fell to her knees dizzy. Her head was spinning again and she hadn’t noticed the tears dripping onto the wooden floor boards of the room. She could hardly breathe. He was gone. Hanako had broken away. When she had wished to never wash the bathroom again this was not what she meant. When she had wished for Hanako to stop teasing her this wasn't what she meant. She pressed her head to the floorboards and closed her eyes. This wasn’t what she meant when she said she wanted to live.