Chapter Text
Frank:
I wake up to a cold bed. Huh, that’s weird. It’s not like Gerard to be awake before me. Ever. Not even on the morning of his art midterm when I’d caught him painting in his underwear and with paint in his hair. I look around the room, wanting some sort of sign to where my boyfriend could be. Besides, we have school. Oh shit, did I oversleep again?
I check the time on my iPhone, and I’m quietly relieved to see that it’s 06:30 am. Gee can’t have gone far. I think about ringing his cell, but his phone lights up. He hasn’t got it with him. Maybe he’s in the shower. Or at Starbucks. I pace around his room, trying to look for where he could be. He’s definitely not in here.
I jog up the stairs, hoping that Donna’s awake so I can ask her, but I’m met with Pete and Mikey, making out. This is not going to be a good day. At least Mikey turns his attention away from Pete for long enough to ask me what’s up.
“I can’t find Gee.” I huff, and Mikey frowns.
“Where was the last time you saw him?” Mikey asks, picking up his phone.
“Last night. Or this morning, whichever you’d prefer,” I start. “It’s pointless trying to text him though. Wherever he’s gone, he hasn’t got his phone.” I say, and Mikey’s face falls from confusion to worry.
“Shit.” Is all he can say. I see Pete put their hand over Mikey’s in an attempt to calm their boyfriend down. Suddenly, Gerard walks down the stairs, his newly bleached hair dripping down his back.
“Hey guys, what’s up? I had to tone this, it was driving me mad.” He says, and I run over to him and hug him. “What’s this for?” He asks, clearly confused.
“Gerard, Mikey and Frank are too amazed at the concept of you washing your hair that they both thought that you’d disappeared. Besides, I’m amazed you even know what toner is.” Pete says, smiling with their whole face. Gerard bursts out laughing, looking at Mikey and i, and then proceeds to flip Pete off.
“Does the concept of me showering really confuse you guys so much?” He asks, hugging both Mikey and I. Mikey nods, and I notice he has tears in his eyes. “Surely my personal hygiene can’t be that bad. Of course I know what toner is, Pete. What do you take me for, an uncivilized caveman?”
“Dude when you were nine you flat out refused to take off that hat for two whole weeks.” Mikey says, rubbing his eyes. He looks like he got no sleep last night, and he’s paler than usual. His eye bags almost stand out on his face, even behind his black glasses. Gee cracks a smile.
“I miss that hat. It was a good hat.” He says indignantly, going to run a hand through his hair, but then remembering how short it is.
“Dude, biologists would have studied that and found a new species. It was disgusting.” Mikey says, and I smile a little, imagining Gerard at aged nine in a really ugly hat. It shouldn't be so cute to me, but it is. “Petey can you put the coffee pot on for me please? I’ve been up most of the night.” He asks, and Pete nods, brewing the coffee.
A few minutes later, Gee’s dressed in his favourite black jeans and a big hoodie. “Mikey? Can I have my binder back now please?” He says, and Mikey nods at his brother.
“Sure thing, dude. Let me go and get it for you.” He replies with a small smile, leaving Pete and I alone in the kitchen.
“Looks like they had a pretty crazy night.” I say to Pete, who nods their head.
“Yeah. Mikey didn’t fall asleep until after 2am.” Pete says. “I’m worried about them. Our boyfriends. It feels like they care about each other a bit too much. If Gee told Mikey to run into moving traffic to save an art piece, he would. That scares me.” They say, and while I know they’re being dramatic to prove a point, they're also not wrong. I exhale heavily.
“They’re close, Pete.” Is all I could say before Mikey and Gee walk down the stairs. I pull out my phone and start playing Flappy Bird, to try and make it look like I was doing something other than talking about my boyfriend and his brother’s closeness. Gerard kisses my head, and I lean in to his touch. “How are you feeling?” I ask him.
“Better, thank you. You were so right about getting a haircut.” He says, snuggling into my side. “We have a bit of time before school, if you’re thinking what I’m thinking.” Gerard whispers, and I shiver in anticipation.
“Let me brush my teeth first. And you’ll want coffee, won’t you?” I say. It’s not like I don’t want to, it just seems slightly impractical.
“Coffee can wait.” Gee says, and I can tell he’s getting impatient from the way he’s pulling at the cuffs of my jumper.
“If you say so,” I say slowly. “But we are not going for a nap in the back of your car during third period again. My world history teacher is starting to get suspicious.”
“You’re no fun, Frankie.” He pouts, but there’s still a glint of something in his eyes. He’s mischief, but god does he do it well. “I’ll be waiting.” I’m so wrapped up in Gerard’s little act that I don't notice Pete and Mikey staring at us.
“Earth to Frankie.” Pete says, waving their hand in front of my face. “Go after him. He’s practically throwing himself at you.” They say, and I realise that they’re right. I smile to myself and I run a hand through my hair. I dyed the sides red last night, and I have to admit that it looks pretty good. “Go get your man.” Pete shouts after me, and I smile to myself.
I walk down the stairs to the basement, and I find Gee passed out on top of his duvet. He’s asleep. I should’ve seen this coming. I don’t want to wake him though - he looks so peaceful. Instead, I settle for the next best thing, and I lay my head on his chest, using him as a pillow. I see him smile in his sleep, and he wraps an arm around my torso. It’s a weird position but it’s not uncomfortable. I could get used to this. Naps before school with my beautiful, sleepy boyfriend. The next thing I know is Mikey knocking on the bedroom door.
“Come on, darling. School.” I say, putting my arm around his waist and supporting him as he stands up. He yawns and stretches, nearly whacking me across the face.
“Need coffee.” He mumbles, and I roll my eyes.
“Baby, there’s no time for coffee. We have to go.” I say, trying to hurry him up the stairs. I see a Thermos full of coffee on the side in the kitchen with a note attached to it.
Gee: I somehow knew you’d be late because of whatever early morning activities you and Frank were up to, so I made you this. Please don’t be too late :)
I smile to myself, but I have to immediately school my face. After Pete and I’s conversation this morning, I can’t encourage Gee and Mikey’s disgustingly cute sibling relationship. Then again, it’s neither Pete or my place to judge who our boyfriends are friends with. I see Gee smile sleepily, and he takes a long, satisfying gulp of coffee.
“Bless him. He’s always thinking about others.” Gerard says, thinking out loud. “He’s probably studying with Joe and Trick. Speaking of Joe, can you hold my rucksack for a second please babe?” He asks me, and I smile.
“Sure baby. Be quick though.” I say, watching him jog down the stairs. Either that coffee had meth in it, or Gerard’s just got a burst of energy from absolutely nowhere.
“You ready?” He asks, ruffling up his hair. He looks amazing.
“Yeah. I’ll carry your bag for you.” I say, walking him to his car. I’m holding his hand, and I know it’s a cliché, but I feel at home.
“Do you want to drive?” He offers, and I smile. I got my license a few days ago, and I haven’t had much of a chance to drive around. He throws me the keys, and I climb into the front seat. I pull out of the Way’s driveway, and Gee’s phone dings - he has a text from Mikey. “Babe, can we stop by Starbucks? The one two blocks away?” He asks, and I nod, turning around. What does it matter if we’re a little bit later, anyway?
“Do Mikey and Pete need a lift in?” I ask, confused. “I thought they were carpooling with Ray?”
“Ray’s brother needs his truck, so Joe’s taking Pat in his car.” He explains.
“Oh, okay.” I say, as I turn into the parking lot. Surely enough, Mikey and Pete are waiting for us. I pull up beside them, and roll down my window. “Hey guys.” I smile
“Hey Frank.” Mikey replies, opening the car door. “How late are we, exactly?”
“2 minutes at the most. We’ll blame it on traffic.” Gee says, and I look down, blushing. I don’t know how we did it, but we arrived at school with a minute until the late bell.
“Have a good day guys!” Pete yells after us, pulling Mikey towards the band room. I roll my eyes at them: it’s obvious that they’re not going to homeroom. Looks like I’ll be making an excuse up for them. Again. It doesn’t help with today being the first of my midterms.
I walk into school, kissing Gerard goodbye outside his homeroom. “Have a good day, sweetheart. I’ll see you at lunch.” I say, pecking his lips.
“You too, Frankie. I love you.” He says, walking into room 301. He throws a peace sign at Ray, and takes his seat at the back. I walk to my homeroom, and I'm surprised to see Pete and Mikey beat me there.
“I thought you guys were going to the band room for a quickie.” I say, sliding into my seat. “Even you two aren’t that quick.”
“Hilarious, Frank.” Mikey says, rolling his eyes.
“But yeah, that was our idea until we walked in on Mr Armstrong and his wife.” Pete says, grinning at Mikey. He blushes, looking down at his hands. “So we settled for just coming straight here. I’ve been told that the time we lost this morning will be made up though.” Pete says, bumping their shoulder with Mikey’s. I roll my eyes. I don’t want to know about my boyfriend’s brother’s sex life.
“Pete, TMI.” I say smacking them on the arm. Mikey glances over to them.
“I told you Frank wouldn’t want to know.” He says softly, and Pete kisses his cheek, making him blush. He’s not usually this self conscious about PDA. For his sake and mine, I hope the announcements play soon. I want my chair to open up and swallow me whole.
The good thing about dating Gerard is that whenever Pete and Mikey go into happy couple land, I have someone to not only be cynical with, but someone who will make out with me if I ask them to. I really can’t be bothered with school today, so I take off my jacket and put it on my desk to be used as a pillow. So fucking what if I get yelled out.
It's like I’m in a trance all day. I don’t say much at lunch, and I lean on Gerard. It’s not because I’m tired, It’s like I’m burned out. I can’t be. Suddenly, I totally understand what Gerard was saying last night, and as I’m pulling Gerard towards his car and getting into the driver’s seat, it clicks.
“Baby, where are we going?” Gerard asks, and he’s clearly worried. I owe him an explanation, but I don’t even know myself. I let the car take me to where I want to go. It’s almost like I’m not even driving. We end up on the ledge, overlooking Jersey. “Why are we here?” He asks, looking up at me, as I light myself a cigarette.
“What you were saying last night, I think I get it.” I start, climbing over the hood of his car and sitting on the roof. It’s too cold to stay up here without my jacket, but at this moment, I’m past giving a shit. Gerard climbs up to the roof of the car, and he engulfs me in a hug.
“Talk to me, Frankie.” He says softly, and I feel like I have no choice but to tell him.
“Here goes nothing.” I start, and he puts my hand over mine, and squeezes. “I’m not a perfect person, okay? I’m not the kid on a bench you fell over on the first day that you were here. I’m flawed, and complex. Too complex for me to know the depths of it myself.” I say, and a weight feels like it’s been lifted from my shoulders. “Fuck, I’m not who everyone expects me to be. I’m not the ‘good catholic son’ my mom and stepdad wanted. I’m not ‘Frankie’, Gee’s perfect boyfriend. I’m nothing, and I wish people could see that.” I say, and suddenly I’m angry. I jump off of the car roof, grazing my knees and I start running. I hear Gee calling after me, but I keep running, not looking back once.
Gerard:
I’m left sitting on the roof of my car, at a loss. What the fuck just happened? Not even 3 hours ago, we were kissing in a corridor like it was nothing. Like we were some normal couple. But no. We can’t be that. We never will be, until this cold, unforgiving planet sees us as normal. I try calling out his name again. Nothing. It’s starting to rain, and all the snow is turning slippery and sludgy.
His phone's still in the car, so I call for him. I don’t know what to do with myself, so I wait it out. Sitting on the roof of my car, waiting for him to come back to me.
If he ever will, that is.
I feel like this is my own stupid fucking fault. It’s why Bert left me, isn’t it? Because I’m too fucking insane for my own good. The hot tears seep out of my eyes, a contradiction to the biting chill of the icy rain. I laugh to myself, but it comes out a bitter broken sound. With no joy. It’s oddly poetic, isn’t it? If Pete were here, they’d say some cringey shit about how it juxtaposes every cliché in romantic comedies. But I stay here, trying to find some divine answer to this.
I’m soaked through my clothes. It’s not like I can go back inside my car now though, is it? But I’m pulled out of my thoughts when I hear a small voice call out my name. I whip my head around, almost giving myself whiplash, and I gasp when I see Frank. My Frankie. With tears running down his face. I know what I need to do. I jump off the roof of my car, and I engulf him in a hug, and I let him cry. “You’re okay.” I soothe, rubbing the back of his head.
“But I’m not.” Is all he can reply, before I’m kissing him. Hard. In the rain. He gasps into my mouth as I slam him back into the side of my car, his hands finding my hair and entwining his fingers through the now shorter strands. We stay like this for what feels like hours, exploring each other’s mouths and kissing like it's breathing. Like it’s the only thing keeping either of us from saying anything stupid, that could potentially jeporadise our relationship. I pull away from him, holding his face in my hands.
“Don’t you ever run from me again, Frank Iero.” I say, and he looks so beautifully broken that I can’t resist diving in for another kiss.
“I won’t, my darling. I love you more than anything.” He replies, kissing me back with the same ferocity, as he grinds against me, and it’s a frantic scramble to get out of our rain soaked clothes and into the dryness of my car.
“You have protection, right?” I ask, between kisses, and Frank rips open the condom packet with his teeth.
I’m lying in the backseat of my banged up Subaru, holding Frank close to me. “We’re doomed, aren’t we?” I say, my voice breathy and unlike my own.
“Absolutely.” He agrees, kissing my temple. “But I wouldn’t have it any other way.” He’s wrapped up in a blanket, and he’s shaking slightly. The radio is playing softly in the background - Where Is My Mind? by Pixies. It perfectly sums us up. How upbeat and cheerful we seem on the outside, yet how tragic we really are on the inside. I sigh, taking his hand, and kissing it. My boy.
This is going to end in flames. But God, I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want this.
yikes, okay !! that was quite an opening chapter. don’t worry, the rest of the fic will be more upbeat than this, i was in the mood for a little bit of angst.
i hope you guys enjoyed this, feel free to leave kudos/comment if you enjoyed, it actually motivates me to continue writing. :)
--ted x