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Harry was really happy to finally be able to join Sirius and live with him in the short period between grade and grade. It was great, he felt like coming home for the first time in his life out of Hogwarts.
Big was his surprise when he found his godfather’s door opened, but he just shrugged and came on. Although alert, nothing could have prepared him for what he was about to find. Harry looked surprised and terrified at an equally surprised and terrified Professor (not anymore but) Lupin in underpants and an opened shirt that showed most of his well-haired chest.
“Uhm…” Remus tried to talk, but words seemed not to be allowed out of his brain. Harry thought that was probably for the best.
“What are you doing here?” Harry asked after a while. A long awkward while. An unnecessarily amount of awkwardly while. “I mean…What are you doing here, half naked?”
Remus started sweating and looked around, maybe trying to find his wand. Or something big enough to knock Harry off. “I uh… Same thing as you.” He looked at Harry again, pulling the less believable face ever seen.
“That…that isn’t… are you…did you…with him…?” Poor little Harry started processing what a half naked Remus in his godfather’s living room could mean.
“What? No, no. I’m… I’m nothing with him, we were just…I…We…were just… nothinging around…” Remus scratched the back of his neck.
Right in that moment, the missing Sirius came into the room to clear things up. “That was great, but next time I want to top. It suits you better to be under, Mr. Wolf.” Sirius gave him a not at all friendly spank in the butt and laughed “Remus, come on get dressed, you look really stupid, what are you even starin-” Silence fell over the room once again and Sirius’ face went all Black. I mean, no, white. His face went all white. He was pale. As a ghost. That’s what I meant. (That was an awful attempt of a joke)
“Oh! Harry… It was today? Oh…shit.” he looked around as his…nothing, had done a few minutes before.
“Yeah, it was today.” Harry nodded effusively, his brain still trying to understand the nature of that awkward and unnecessary moment.
Remus gave Sirius a nudge “Today. And you couldn’t remember. He came back today. You didn’t go wait for him at the station. You told me they were coming back tomorrow afternoon and iT APPEARS YOU WERE WRONG AT BOTH THINGS BECAUSE IT’S LIKE ELEVEN IN THE MORNING AND IT’S TODAY, NOT TOMORROW. TODAY.”
Sirius staggered on his feet and turned around to face Remus. “I am not good at schedules.” Then turned back to Harry. “Look, there’s a logical explanation for all this, Harry. See, Remus and I were practicing…a spell…about making clothes…disappear.” Lupin facepalmed and sighed and Harry made a confused (even more confused than he already was) face. “It didn’t quite work out, as you see him like he is, half naked. But we’ll…improve it.”
“What?” Harry was really confused.
“Ok, no. That was a lie. The truth is, Harry, that Remus has just turned back to human, and half of his clothes are missing because a few minutes ago he was an angry werewolf who had come to my house seeking for help. As usually.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Remus started buttoning his shirt and putting his trousers on. Everyone had forgotten he didn’t have them on. Well, maybe Sirius was just enjoying the view and Harry was too occupied freaking out. “Actually, we had sex on that sofa.” He sighed again looking right at Harry and pointing at the sofa in question.
Harry’s face was like a Picasso painting. He looked surprised and like he was about to cry because he had just been told Santa isn’t real (which for a wizard must be a stupid thing to reveal). Most importantly, he was paralyzed and muted.
“Don’t tell him that, he’s just a kid.” Sirius gave Lupin a soft punch on the shoulder.
“He’s 15 or something. What are you, stupid?” Lupin stepped on Sirius’ foot.
“That was uncalled for. I’m just trying to protect him from the truths of life like every other reasonable tutor would.”
“Ok wait, time-out, ok. Fine. Fine, you are screwing each other.” Harry sighed, regaining all his motor skills. “I get it…I think. Just, how long has this been going on?”
Remus looked at Sirius in the eye and grimaced at Harry "For like..."
“Since I got out of Azkaban.”
“Since he got out of Azkaban.”
Again, silence. Harry went slowly changing his expression from ‘WTF, DUDE’ to ‘slightly amused’. “Did my dad know that you two like each other?” he squinted at them.
“Well, I don’t know. I never…told him directly. You?”
“No, he was too focused on his own love life, really.” Lupin leaned on Sirius’ shoulder. “Also, we usually waited for him to fall asleep before getting in my bed and giving each other blowj-”
“Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhut it, wolfie.” Sirius stepped on his foot as Remus had done before. Sirius was all about doing everything his “nothing” had done before.
“So you are dating?” Harry was now kind of smiling.
“I wouldn’t call it…” Sirius looked at Remus’ bitchy face. “Yes, something like that.”
“Well, I’m tired of standing in this doorstep, tell me somewhere where you haven’t done anything and help me move this big heavy chest.”
And like that, Harry discovered that his dad’s best friends had been fucking each other for a while. And it was beautiful. The end.