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Roman needed to de-stress.
One of his many outlets after work and everything else, was going to the gym. It was a great way to just focus on the rep counts, the whole-body burn, and his fitness progress. Nothing else mattered, in those sessions. It wasn’t his only outlet, but theater group wasn’t until a few days from then and he had far too much steam to blow off, this time.
This time, most of his usual workout buds were preoccupied. One source of stress was worrying how Patton was dealing with a health crisis in his family. Or the new hours Virgil had to take on because he needed to pay off some hefty car repair bills. Or how his boyfriend was off on a business trip again…
There were a few other people at the gym that afternoon. Most of them were regulars, but he was usually too focused on his workouts to chat. This was not the first time he did things solo, but he admitted it was always more fun with company. And probably more safe.
This was his second session for the day, he made plans on squeezing in another before closing time. He had some morning cardio and worked on his abs, behind him. He noticed the sweat he was working up in the summer heat. He knew he probably should’ve hit the water fountain a few more times than he did, or packed a sports drink that day. But he was too determined on pushing those personal bests. He was fine!
Janus and Logan would constantly remind him how he should space these intense workout days more with lighter work. Hell. Today was going to be an “active rest” day. He’ll make up for that later in the week. It wasn’t the first time he strung together a couple intense workout days in a row. He was a bit more sore than usual today, but he could work through that, right?
He was too agitated to take things easy. A lot of his coworkers at the telemarketing firm were laid off recently, so he was slammed with their workloads, until management got their crap together. That bureaucratic stuff was far outside his understanding or care. Logan would note it was an inefficient clusterfuck, Janus would note it was unfair to him. But for the time being, Roman didn’t really have a choice but to stay with that job.
He looked down at his phone, dialing up the volume of his music and kept going. He just wanted to get himself so exhausted he could sleep easier, that night.
He focused on his lower body this time. Warming up with body weight versions of all the exercises he intended to ramp up. Calf raises, squats, dead lifts, that kind of stuff. He started with small set sizes, increasing the rep counts and piling on varying free weight to ratchet up the intensity.
After about a half hour, he had his rep counts per set approach the 100s. The adrenaline and endorphins were doing their jobs. He was sweating buckets at this point, most of his friends would probably tell him to chill out by now. But he was committed to the slate he gave himself.
He’s gotten dizzy spells before, had a few the day prior, minor inconveniences, really. Even as his thoughts started to fog, in the last few sets, he forced himself to finish things. This wasn’t his first time he rendered his limbs weak from fatigue, but things felt simultaneously extraordinarily heavy and rubbery. Standing up had him a bit queasy. When was the last time he topped up on his water? Why haven’t the owners here fixed their A/C? Why was his vision tunneling?
He only managed a couple steps away from the bench, before his legs gave out on him.
“H-hey, you okay? You with me?”
One of the regulars, Roman vaguely remembered him saying his name started with an N. The voice sounded far away, Roman could only moan unintelligibly.
“Okay, I’m definitely getting you some help.”
Roman found himself drifting in and out of consciousness, feeling nothing but confusion. Things stopped feeling real.
He barely remembered being put on a body board, someone flashing a light in his face, and the sound of ambulance sirens.
At some point, everything went black.
-
Roman heard some beeping.
He felt he was in a bed, he didn’t remember driving home… this wasn’t his bed.
He opened his eyes to see that he was in the hospital, various tubes to various bags hooked up to him. His stomach dropped as he looked around in a confused panic.
It didn’t take him long to see two familiar faces that looked a mix of worry and anger at him. His boyfriend sat next his brother in the visitor seating of the room.
Janus cleared his throat, “Looks like my Prince Charming is awake. You gave me-us quite the start.”
Roman was about to muster a response before Janus snapped at him, laden in concern, “I-I reserve the right to chew you out for this when you’re discharged!”
Roman gulped, before saying weakly, “I-I’m sorry but what... happened?”
Remus, not one to be squeamish or reverent, pulled up a bag full of something that reminded him of Coca-Cola, from the foot of the hospital bed. “What do you think this is, Ro?”
There was a delay in Roman making the connection, suddenly aware of where that tube was attached. Roman was ashamed, “Th-that’s my-?”
Remus spoke in his usual crassness, “PISS! And I’m pretty sure it’s not supposed to look like that. The doctors here said you REALLY did a number on your kidneys.”
Roman wasn’t the most knowledgeable about this kind of medical stuff. But that didn’t sound good. He spoke up, “Am I going to be okay?”
Janus sighed, “I guess you should be glad that Nico kid at the gym called 911, when he did. But I’ll leave the explaining to the... Professionals, here.”
Roman grew aware of what he put himself through. Feeling as if he just caught a really bad case of flu- everything in him ached, he was sapped of energy, and his head was swimming. He didn’t really want to think of any of the lasting effects this may have.
He wound up staying there for almost half a week.
-
Janus took a few days of sick leave, after Roman was released from the hospital.
Just to take care of Roman. Roman felt a lot of things about this.
One of the things that lingered somewhat was being reminded of how badly he screwed up. He was still stiff, sore, and aching. This lasted longer and was harder than anything he experienced before. He would be tempted to beat himself up over this, but his body was doing enough of that right now. Didn’t stop him from trying.
It made it hard to sleep. The pain and his restless thoughts, wanting to do more than basically nothing. At times he succeeded to stay up and write some notes for future projects. But Janus was there, glaring daggers into him to get enough sleep. Though he had a prickly bent, Roman was glad he stuck around. Janus showed a kinder side for the worst moments, holding him, comforting him.
Occasionally Janus would oblige him with a nice massage. Roman’s numbers weren’t quite good enough to be taking much in the ways of pain relief.
Janus wasn’t a huge fan of knocking their apartment’s A/C down so much, but given that the doctors mentioned Roman suffered a heat stroke on top of that rhabdo-something-or-other. Janus bore with it. He could bundle up or go stand outside, if it was too much. Sometimes he just needed some time to think, anyways.
All the caffeinated stuff was taken to Remus’s place, to Roman’s chagrin. Whenever Janus caught Roman drinking anything other than plain water, he was treated with a knowing scowl. Roman would get frustrated, “OKAY! FINE, I’ll have some water after this. What are you, my mom?!”
Followed by both of them laughing about it. Roman knew Janus just cared about him, even if he tended to pretend he was made of ice. It was evident by just how often Janus reviewed the discharge papers and doted on him.
He did wish he could get back on his feet already, though. He wished he could help out with the house work more, but his entire body creaked at all but the smallest things. He realistically knew that he just didn’t have that kind of energy – having to sit down and rest frequently.
-
It was a week since Roman wound up in the hospital.
“… if your creatine levels don’t go down, we may need to refer you to a nephrologist. Have you been taking it easy, like we asked?”
This was the follow-up after his second round of tests. Roman had no idea what those words really meant, but it still sounded bad. “Y-yeah. My boyfriend has been on my case this entire time...”
“That’s good to hear. While it’s still too soon to be certain with these numbers, we do hope that you can get back to your normal activities, sooner than later. We’ll let you know when that’s a good idea.”
-
As soon as his friends caught wind of what happened to Roman. He was inundated with “Get Well Soon” cards.
“Heard what happened. Sucks, man. If you need to talk about shit, I’ll make the time.”
“Don’t be afraid to ask for help, kiddo! I’ll be there in a heartbeat, if you need me!”
“I understand you might be overwhelmed, after everything. If you need some help in the executive functioning department, I would be glad to provide… that is, paperwork and the like.”
“HEY. FUCKFACE. GET BETTER SOON, SO I CAN TAKE TURNS WITH JANNIE KICKING YOUR ASS FOR THIS. Rest assured, there will be no dignity to be had.”
He was grateful for all of the attention. But he also didn’t want to keep getting treated like a helpless child.
He was glad Janus didn’t feel the need to join in that. Sentiment was pretty apparent from his actions and he appreciated him.
Mixed emotions sucked, sometimes.
-
These were the longest two weeks in his life.
Roman was getting more anxious about being told that if those numbers didn’t go down by then – the idea that he may’ve permanently damaged himself floated in his mind. How would that affect him? He didn’t want to speculate.
He was feeling sick and tired of being sick and tired. His head was still somewhat foggy.
He didn’t know if the low-boiling nausea was from being stressed out about this upcoming set of tests or… no. He’s going to just hope for the best.
“Hm. Good news is that you’re now barely under the threshold we’ve been concerned with – but…”
“Yeah?”
“The fact it’s only just and has been slower than expected to go down to normal levels. It can’t hurt to at least cover our bases, at this point.”
Roman gulped. The doctor reassured him, “I’m hoping I’m just being cautious here and you’ll be in the clear soon. But I’ll leave it to the specialists to be certain.”
“O-okay.“
-
The next battery of tests were grueling, thanks to that team of specialists his primary doctor referred him to.
Most of the names for them or what kinds of doctors who saw him kind of made his eyes glaze over. All he knew was they checked his heart, his kidneys, and how well his muscles were doing.
In particular, he didn’t anticipate just how much the exercise challenge was going to put him toward passing out. How many milestones DID he lose that day? He swore he could’ve breezed through that load before...
He had to do everything twice in a few days of each other, before he was told anything certain.
The head of the team spoke to him about the results, “Okay. It does look like your kidney function is still somewhat diminished. And there was a not insubstantial loss of overall muscle mass. But we do think you can go into the next phase of recovery.”
Roman felt hopeful again, “Really?”
“With caution. Your kidneys are holding acceptably, they might return to optimal functioning or they may remain with some deficit. Be that as it may... this puts you at higher risk of more significant damage, should this happen again. And you may be able to regain muscle condition, with physical therapy.”
Roman looked down, sobered. “I-I think I understand.”
-
“Begin light activity, NO strenuous activity.”
Roman mulled that over as he did the dishes. His legs still fatigued easily, so he kneeled on a dining chair for some of the work. He didn’t LIKE that he had to do that. But he was just glad he could do anything.
To help him stay active, Janus lent him one of his canes. His favorite one, actually. It had a brass lion head on the end of the handle, a glossy black faux snake-skin grip, varnished cherry wood body, and a wide rubber foot. Janus needed them, but was often vague about it. Roman respected Janus enough not to push that.
Roman felt some irrational shame in needing it too. But he was determined to take back some of what he lost.
Janus however would pop into view whenever he noticed Roman showing really any sign of strain. Janus didn’t need to say anything for Roman to acquiesce, lightheartedly, “Okay - okay, I’ll cool it. Geez!”
Janus’s voice and demeanor softened, “That's what I want to hear.”
-
On a weekly basis, Roman had to see his doctors to get reassessed.
At first, he just seemed to be in a holding pattern in everything. Better than going backwards, but no less frustrating.
Then, Roman began to notice how the team looked encouraged by the results.
He asked them, “So? How am I doing?”
“At this point, we believe you can be cleared for physical therapy and increased activity. But first, we must ask, how’s the muscle pain?”
They asked him that frequently, he still ached, but it had gone down considerably. “I-I think it’s been getting better.”
“Good to know.”
-
Had it really been almost three months?
He was glad to be back in the gym, he had to take it all in. The sights of the machines, the mats, and other members moving their bodies. The sounds of clanking plates, machinery, and other members. Even the smells made him smile… which was a little weird even for him. He guessed he was getting that stir-crazy. Remus probably, no, definitely wouldn’t let him hear the end of that one.
Roman wasn’t alone this time. Janus made sure of that.
“My turn to spot you?”
“Yeah.”
He knew he still had a ways to go, and he probably would need more check-ups, but he was glad to have some normalcy back.