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"Hey, Cheek, did you know we're fucking?"
Since joining Golden Agency — the Hero agency spearheaded by the Golden Class of UA — Ochako has come to expect a certain amount of randomness in her day-to-day life. Often, that randomness came from the usual suspects — Mina, Kaminari, Monoma, Hatsume — but with a graduating class as … special as theirs was … everyone was prone to weirdness.
She’s used to it at this point.
Depending on the occasion, she even welcomed it because, hey, if nothing else, it kept things interesting around here.
What she wasn’t expecting was that.
Ochako blinked at Katsuki who was flicking through one of a stack of Daily Hero issues that Mina left in the break room.
“What!?” To his credit, he didn’t look up or even grimace as what she could only describe as a “panicked schoolgirl screech” left her mouth. His eyes were still glued to the pages of the brightly colored magazine even as she felt her face heat up. "Pardon?”
“Oh, shit. I forgot to mention— you’re also pregnant." He said, deadpanned. “Congratulations.”
Ochako was sure she was hallucinating because last she remembered they’d shared one perfectly PG goodnight kiss after he’d left her outside her apartment door last week.
Not that she didn’t want to go there…
She had. She did. They would! Eventually...
Eventually, she did want them to … do … that. It. Do it. But they hadn’t and she definitely wasn’t…
“Bakugou, what are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about us teaming up during the Rip Raptor incident last month, somehow simultaneously battling anthropomorphic alligators and realizing we have the hots for each other then starting a fucking clandestine affair where we sneak around to each other’s apartments and — fucking really? — nasty ass cheap motels when Deku gets suspicious to have adulterous, baby-making sex.”Bakugou rolled up the magazine in his hand, shaking it as if proving a point. “What else would I be fucking talking about?”
Oh. Oh.
Ochako scoffed. The trash that sold as breaking news these days was honestly ridiculous. Mina got a kick out of it but she hadn’t picked up one of those sleazy tabloids since that one time they were speculating about whether or not her ass was real.
"Really?” Ochako rolled her eyes, catching the smirk on Bakugou’s face that told her that he was having a fucking blast reading the garbage that Daily Hero was peddling to the poor masses. “Why don't I remember this?"
“Don’t know how you couldn’t, Cheeks,” Bakugou said, trying his hardest to keep a straight face even though the corners of his mouth seemed to be determined to pull into a grin. “‘10 Tips on How to Fuck like Dynamight’ makes it sound like an experience you wouldn’t soon forget."
Oh.
She felt her cheeks getting red for a whole other reason. This — the flirting and the teasing — was a fairly new development, she still wasn’t sure how to take his words and not turn into a babbling, giggling little girl.
“Nope.” She popped the ‘p’. “Doesn’t ring a bell.”
“That makes sense.” Bakugou shrugged, reaching for another issue. “ Must be the plethora of drugs you’ve been experimenting with killing your brain cells."
Ochako gasped, giggles falling out of her mouth as she fell against the couch.
"You know what?”
Bakugou looked up at her, eyes softening as he took in the sight of her — head was thrown back against the headrest in laughter and eyes bright as she turned to look at him.
She snorted. “That explains a lot."
“Doesn't it." Bakugou turned the page again. “You should cut back though.” He said. “If not for me then for our baby. Heroin can’t be great for development.”
“Heroin?” He nods. “Please tell me that’s a typo.”
“‘Uravity: Heroine on Heroin’.”
Ochako stood up from her own couch, plopping down at the opposite end of his. She reached out to pluck the magazine from his grip.
"Careful, Cheeks. Not sure you’re ready for this raw truth..." He watched her flick to a random page of the magazine before something caught her eye. He wondered absentmindedly what she would do if he told her that the surprised look on her face was fucking adorable. “What?”
"You're talking about my drug addiction when you," she pointed an accusatory finger at him, “ you’re the one having a secret affair with Kirishima. You’ve ruined two happy homes with your lust.”
Bakugou gripped her finger. “One of those happy homes was yours.”
“Well, who can blame me for falling for your wiles?” She pulled her finger from his grasp. “From what I read you’re pretty damn irresistible.”
Bakugou shook his head slightly, leaning towards her as if he was telling her a secret.
"Says you, you little minx. You’ve seduced most of the guys in our graduating class.” Ochako gasped, smacking him on the arm with the magazine. Bakugou’s smile widened. “Some of the girls too.”
Ochako burst out laughing. They must think she has more free time than she does. She wished she did. They’d gone on a date last week and this was the first time they’d been able to see each other since then.
Dating half her graduating class sounded like a second job. (Probably a pleasant one but a job all the same.)
"Fat load of good that is when I can’t seem to keep any of them.”
“You don’t need them,” Bakugou said. “You’re cheating on Glasses with me.”
“Glasses? Aren’t I dating Deku?” Bakugou shrugged. “Says here that Iida is engaged to Inasa. Not Todoroki? Huh...”
“Not since he caught him in bed with Ponytail.”
Ochako picked up another issue. “Well, who can blame her. It says here that Inasa can make his tongue vibrate.”
“Does his quirk even work like that?”
“Oh, definitely not.”
“Sounds more like Loud Mouth’s boyfriend, right?”
“You mean Shindo?” Ochako pointed at a passage in the magazine highlighted with little drawings of lighting bolts. “He’s dating Denki.”
Bakugo picked up another magazine. “Really? Last I heard Pikachu was dating Tape Face and Aizawa.”
“Aizawa?” Ochako looked at Bakugou. Wasn’t it illegal to write utter garbage? “Really?”
"Tabloids know no bounds, Cheeks."
“Huh.” She’d have to have someone in legal look into that. Not now though. Now she was having too much fun. "And here I was under the impression Aizawa and Present Mic were adopting a child."
“Don’t know if Hypno-Freak is big brother material.”
Ochako rolled her eyes. “You really should call Hitoshi Shinso by his name.”
Bakugou flipped a page. He snorted.
"Don’t know if I wanna take advice from you, Cheeks." His eyes sparkled with mirth. “Don’t think someone rumored to be having congenital visits with Shigaraki has the right to judge me on my nicknames."
She cocked a brow. “Says Muscular’s little brother.”
“Oh, you mean your ex-lover?” He poked her. “And we look nothing alike.”
"Ex-lover?” Ochako laughed. “I dated a pair of brothers, huh? Go me.”
“I told you you're a minx.”
The words slipped out before she could stop them.
"Only in your dreams."
"Who says I have dreams about you?" Bakugou smirk. “Daily Heroes sources can’t be that good.”
Oh. Oh.
“Well…” Ochako turned towards him. “I am expecting our love-child."
Bakugou’s eyes dropped to her lips as a small smile spread across his face. "So you do remember."
He moved towards her, coming up to wrap around the headrest as he invaded her space. He smelled like cinnamon and burnt sugar.
"Maybe…” She swallowed. “Not sure…”
“How do I know it isn't Deku’s?"
“Apparently,” Ochako slipped the magazine back onto the table, shuffling closer to him. She didn’t miss how his eyes darkened, the same way they had outside her door that night after their date. “Despite my best efforts, Midoriya is too busy pining over Todoroki to notice me."
"Icy Hot?"
“Yup.” Bakugou’s right hand slipped around her shoulder as his left found its home on her thigh. Thank god the breakroom door was closed. “But if you think that’s wild you won’t believe what they’re saying about the Seiai girls. Now that’s a scandal.”
"What? Do I have more competition? What about if I use Tip Number 3?
His grin was cocky now.
"I don't know. That was last week's issue.” She leaned in slightly, eyes locked on his lips. “So, I guess it depends on just how comprehensive that list is.”