Chapter Text
Seungkwan is having the worst day of his life. Literally. No need for caveats, or prevarications, or any other sort of tempering of that thought. Today has just sucked beyond belief.
Actually, it all sort of started last night. But at the time, he was basking in the absolute contentment of cuddling with his boyfriend on the couch, watching a drama together. He had his feet tucked under him and Hansol's arm was wrapped around his shoulders, pulling him in so that he was practically draped across the younger man.
Exactly where he wanted to be.
He was getting sleepy, ready to head to bed to get even more comfortably draped across his boyfriend, but was determined to stay awake until midnight so he would be able to tell Hansol 'Happy Birthday' the moment the day began. They'd still had an hour and fifty minutes to go.
He'd been so relaxed, so warm and happy, that he hadn't bothered with his usual brain to mouth filter. And, yes, Lee Chan, he does have one, thank you very much, even if it often seems to let more through than most people's filters. He was pretty sure his eyes had closed, involuntarily, when he mumbled the thoughts that had been tumbling through his head for several days now. "Next Friday is the six month anniversary of the day we met...our first date. We should do something to celebrate."
The almost imperceptible stiffening of Hansol's body beneath him had been the only indication that he'd said something wrong, because his response had been, "Yeah, okay." Hansol had even reached over and pulled one of Seungkwan's hands into his free one, rubbing his thumb idly along the fingernail of Seungkwan's pinky finger. But then he'd added nonchalantly - much too nonchalantly for it to be a coincidence - "Soonyoung mentioned that he ran into you having lunch with your mom and sisters today. I didn't know they were coming into town."
It all felt like a normal conversation. Nothing to see here. Not the goddamn thirteen car pileup of a wreck that was suddenly screeching through Seungkwan's head. He was completely awake after those few sentences. Completely guarded too. Because those two topics were the very reasons that his last relationship had imploded. His now ex, but then boyfriend of two fucking years of his life - God, why did he waste himself on that asshole for so long? - dumped him for being too needy. Because he'd wanted to celebrate on their two year anniversary. And because he'd casually asked about them having lunch with his family - together, as a couple - while they were in town for a short visit.
He'd been careful, this time, to plan his family's two-day trip for the one week that Hansol had told him he'd be slammed all week. Hansol was helping Jihoon record for a new group and would be doing most of the post-production editing himself in the upcoming weeks. He was really excited about the new responsibilities Jihoon was giving him, even though it meant he'd have to spend more time physically at the studio and less time on his own equipment working on his own music. Seungkwan had thought it was the perfect time for him to catch up with the ladies in his life, and had been careful to not even mention it to his boyfriend, so that there wouldn't be any chance of misunderstanding.
And now, in the span of a single minute, he'd managed the one-two punch of both topics! Fuuuuuuuuck. He tried to modulate his voice, to stay outwardly unaffected, like Hansol. He kept his eyes glued to the show, but no longer had any idea what Park Bo Gum was talking about on-screen. "Yeah, Jinseol needed to do some shopping, so they came in on short notice." He didn't mention that he'd also met them for lunch and facials at Seokmin’s new spa the day before - when they'd first arrived - for breakfast that morning, and then spent the day shopping with them in addition to the lunch that Soonyoung had witnessed. Because, shit, if two years was too soon to meet the family, then six months was certainly too soon to even have a conversation about it.
The swirling motion on his fingernail stilled for a moment, then resumed as Hansol said, "Wow, a day trip from Jeju just to go shopping, huh?"
And fuck it, Seungkwan hated lying. Hated liars. He answered honestly, "They flew in yesterday.” Then, to be sure it was clear that he didn't expect Hansol to meet them - because, obviously, he'd made no such demand tonight - he added, “And they're leaving tomorrow morning."
Hansol gave up all pretense of watching TV, or of wanting to continue cuddling, or of not being ticked off - like Seungkwan had already known was the case, but had hoped he was wrong. He stood up, displacing Seungkwan onto the couch cushions unceremoniously, and stalked off to the kitchen. He fixed a glass of water, drank it all in one go, and then, running his hands through his hair the way he subconsciously did whenever he was stressed, had announced, "I'm too tired to watch any more. Do you mind if we go to sleep now?" Glancing sideways at the bedroom door, he added, "Or, you can…umm…keep watching if you want. I'm just gunna…" He pointed vaguely in the direction of Seungkwan's room, never meeting Seungkwan's eyes, and finished on a breath, "... yeah…."
It took Seungkwan an entire twenty minutes to stop the silent tears that were falling down his cheeks. Another ten minutes to decide that he didn't care if Hansol's final sentence had meant that he actually didn't want Seungkwan to come to bed with him. And three more to shut off the TV, make sure the front door was locked, and turn off lights on the way to the bedroom. He was grateful that they'd already brushed their teeth and finished their skincare routines - an intricate ten-steps for him and perhaps two steps for Hansol if he's being generous - before watching TV.
When he slipped into bed, he felt Hansol tense up, knew he wasn't actually asleep, but had no idea what to say to make things better. How do you apologize for who you are?
Because Seungkwan is a bit needy. He's demanding and dramatic and very much into celebrating important milestones that seem ridiculous to other people. And unlike many guys his age, he adores his family. He adores his boyfriend even more. He absolutely can't wait until the day that he gets to introduce the most important people in his life to each other, but he knows he has to temper his excitement, to operate on other people's timelines. But…what could he even say to apologize for any of that? When something is such an integral part of you, apologizing for it seems disingenuous.
So he settled for the most honest thing he could think to say, "I love you, Sollie. So much!" and then tried to convey that same message by wrapping himself around Hansol, his chest melded to his boyfriend's back, his hand pressed tightly against Hansol's heart.
Hansol had replied, at least. A very quiet, suspiciously wet sounding, "You too, Kwanna." And the fact that he hadn't added the word love to his reply had seemed rather monumental at the moment.
---
It had seemed even more monumental this morning - Hansol's birthday - when Seungkwan woke up alone. Even though it was only six in the morning.
Hansol never had to be in the studio that early. The fact that he was gone when Seungkwan woke up - the morning after that discussion - was obviously not a coincidence. Seungkwan tried his best not to cry. And if he stopped trying so hard while he was showering, well, even he couldn't differentiate the tears from the water raining down on him.
---
He'd already had plans to meet his family for breakfast before they had to leave for the airport. And he didn't want them to be worried about him when they headed home to Jeju. So, even though he felt crushed, he went through the motions of getting ready and trudged to the cafe to meet them.
He made sure to put on a fake smile before even entering the cafe and to greet his family with his usual exuberance. But of course his eomma knew him too well for that. The moment he hugged her good morning, she pulled back from the hug just enough to get a look at his face.
“Baby, what's wrong? Have you been crying?”
And that had quickly degenerated into Seungkwan flopping dramatically into the free seat at the table, dropping his head onto his arms, and sobbing, “Eomma, I think I messed up!!” He spilled the whole story, finishing with, “I can't lose him, Eomma. I know it's only been six months, but he means so much to me already!”
His eomma ran her fingers gently through his hair, then rubbed comforting circles on his back. “Oh, my sweet boy. I think you're right that you've made a mistake, just not the one that you think you've made.”
He didn't lift his head up from the table, just mumbled, wallowing in his misery. “What do you mean, Eomma?”
“I mean that if this Hansol is anything like you've told me, if he's deserving of your love, then he's nothing like he who must not be named and so you shouldn't let your interactions with Hansol be guided by the insecurities that he instilled in you.” She leaned over and hugged Seungkwan. “Baby, just talk to him. Maybe you've misunderstood the situation. Or maybe he has. But either way, you won't know until you two talk things through.”
It was good advice, and Seungkwan had felt enough better to have an iced Americano and a few nibbles of the fruit and yogurt bowl his eomma bought for him. Even Jinseol and Sojeong had taken his plight seriously enough that they didn't tease him for having a dramatic outburst in public, opting instead to pat him on the back (Jinseol) and hold his hand on top of the table (Sojeong).
After breakfast, he hugged his mother and sisters before helping them into an Uber headed for the airport, feeling lighter than he had all day. Which was telling, because usually the sadness of them leaving would put him in a bit of a funk for a day or two. But today, the hope that he and Hansol would work things out cut through that dull ache.
Standing there on the sidewalk, watching until the taillights of the Uber disappeared around a corner, he realized that he didn't want to wait until Hansol was done with work to talk things out. He really wanted to talk to him right now. He pulled out his phone, but then felt silly as he pondered what to write… because Hansol was busy. This week was one of the most important weeks in his career so far, and Seungkwan couldn't risk doing anything to mess that up, or he really would be being needy and dramatic - in ways that weren't cute or sweet - in ways that were annoying and cause for relationships to end.
He settled for a quick selfie with a peace sign over one eye, and a simple "Happy Birthday! I love you!!" And then added, "Hope you're having a great morning so far!" for good measure.
Just as he was about to put the phone away, it vibrated in his hand - too soon to be a reply from Hansol. It was instead from Hansol's roommate - which was odd because although he and Soonyoung got along great, they really didn't text each other.
Soonyoung: Can you meet me at this address in fifteen minutes? It's for a birthday surprise for Hansol.
Seungkwan mapped the address before replying. It was just a short walk from the cafe.
Seungkwan: Sure. Be there in ten.
Soonyoung: Great thanks! Rawr!
OK, the rawr was a bit weird. Seungkwan knew that Soonyoung's stage name as a dancer was Hoshi - an odd pun about a tiger's gaze - but still...rawr? He chuckled as he walked, wondering how strange Soonyoung was around the apartment with Hansol if he was this weird with people he didn't know all that well.
---
When Seungkwan arrived at the address, there was no sign of Soonyoung, so he pulled out his phone to see if Hansol had replied. But no such luck. He sent a text to his eomma "Have a safe flight! Saranghaeyo Eomma!!" And while his attention was focused on the phone, a black bag slipped over his head from behind and his arms were quickly grabbed and secured together behind his back.
He tried to scream, but as soon as he opened his mouth, something was tied around his head on the outside of the bag, filling his mouth with the cloth of the bag plus the bulk of whatever had been tied. He tried to kick, to thrash, anything to prevent himself from being … oh my God … nothing he did was working. He was being abducted!!
He was hoisted off the ground, his legs held tightly and then fastened together with what sounded like duct tape. Then hands wrapped around him, maneuvering him as if he weighed nothing at all. A soft voice whispered in his ear, "Calm down. Everything's gunna be OK. I promise."
How could everything - anything - be OK when he was being abducted??
They didn't carry him far - possibly just into the building that he was standing in front of - before they plopped him onto a chair and adjusted his bindings so that he was attached to it. To be fair, they did seem to put a bit of effort into ensuring that he was somewhat comfortable, not that it mattered too much in the scheme of things… they were still abducting him regardless of how much padding they added to the bindings to keep them from chafing.
He heard several clicks of a digital camera - probably a phone - what in the world were they doing with those photos? - then the binding around his mouth was removed, and after another moment or two, the sound of their footsteps as they left the room, with noises that sounded like someone was fiddling with things on the way out.
---
Which brings him full circle to the present moment - sitting here, tied to a chair, filled with self pity about the worst day of his entire life! He doesn't even have to think 'worst day that he can remember' because nothing tops the past twenty-four hours. Or bottoms it. Or...whatever.
Seungkwan is glad that his abductors left the room, though. It will give him a chance to try to get free. He can't be abducted on Hansol's birthday! He can't just disappear from his boyfriend's life without a word after the night they'd had last night. And oh God, his eomma will be devastated!
No, he has to get free. He begins struggling against his bonds in earnest, no idea when his captors will return.