Work Text:
If Harry Potter was a Slytherin
By NiariaGal
Summary:
My take on If Harry Potter Was a Slytherin. A one-shot.
"Oh, you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A smarter hat than me.
You can keep your bowlers black,
Your top hats sleek and tall,
For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat
And I can cap them all.
There's nothing hidden in your head
The Sorting Hat can't see,
So try me on and I will tell you
Where you ought to be.
You might belong in Gryffindor,
Where dwell the brave at heart,
Their daring, nerve, and chivalry Set Gryffindors apart;
You might belong in Hufflepuff,
Where they are just and loyal,
Those patient Hufflepuffis are true And unafraid of toil;
Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,
if you have a ready mind,
Where those of wit and learning,
Will always find their kind;
Or perhaps in Slytherin
You'll make your real friends,
Those cunning folk use any means
To achieve their ends.
So put me on! Don't be afraid!
And don't get in a flap!
You're in safe hands (though I have none)
For I'm a Thinking Cap!"
The whole hall burst into applause as the hat finished its song. It bowed to each of the four tables and then became quite still again.
"So we've just got to try on the hat!" Ron whispered to Harry. "I'll kill Fred, he was going on about wrestling a troll."
Harry smiled weakly. Yes, trying on the hat was a lot better than having to do a spell, but he did wish they could have tried it on without everyone watching. The hat seemed to be asking rather a lot; Harry didn't feel brave or quick-witted or any of it at the moment. If only the hat had mentioned a house for people who felt a bit queasy, that would have been the one for him.
Professor McGonagall now stepped forward holding a long roll of parchment.
"When I call your name, you will put on the hat and sit on the stool to be sorted," she said. "Abbott, Hannah!"
A pink-faced girl with blonde pigtails stumbled out of line, put on the hat, which fell right down over her eyes, and sat down. A moments pause -
"HUFFLEPUFF!" shouted the hat.
The table on the right cheered and clapped as Hannah went to sit down at the Hufflepuff table. Harry saw the ghost of the Fat Friar waving merrily at her.
"Bones, Susan!"
"HUFFLEPUFF!" shouted the hat again, and Susan scuttled off to sit next to Hannah.
"Boot, Terry!"
"RAVENCLAW!"
The table second from the left clapped this time; several Ravenclaws stood up to shake hands with Terry as he joined them.
" Brocklehurst, Mandy" went to Ravenclaw too, but "Brown, Lavender" became the first new Gryffindor, and the table on the far left exploded with cheers; Harry could see Ron's twin brothers catcalling.
"Bulstrode, Millicent" then became a Slytherin. Perhaps it was Harry's imagination, after all, he'd heard about Slytherin, but he thought they looked like an unpleasant lot. He was starting to feel definitely sick now. He remembered being picked for teams during gym at his old school. He had always been last to be chosen, not because he was no good, but because no one wanted Dudley to think they liked him.
"Finch-Fletchley, Justin!"
"HUFFLEPUFF!"
Sometimes, Harry noticed, the hat shouted out the house at once, but at others, it took a little while to decide. "Finnigan, Seamus," the sandy-haired boy next to Harry in the line, sat on the stool for almost a whole minute before the hat declared him a Gryffindor.
"Granger, Hermione!"
Hermione almost ran to the stool and jammed the hat eagerly on her head.
"GRYFFINDOR!" shouted the hat. Ron groaned.
A horrible thought struck Harry, as horrible thoughts always do when you're very nervous. What if he wasn't chosen at all? What if he just sat there with the hat over his eyes for ages, until Professor McGonagall jerked it off his head and said there had obviously been a mistake and he'd better get back on the train?
When Neville Longbottom, the boy who kept losing his toad, was called, he fell over on his way to the stool. The hat took a long time to decide with Neville. When it finally shouted, "GRYFFINDOR," Neville ran off still wearing it, and had to jog back amid gales of laughter to give it to "MacDougal, Morag."
Malfoy swaggered forward when his name was called and got his wish at once: the hat had barely touched his head when it screamed, "SLYTHERIN!"
Malfoy went to join his friends Crabbe and Goyle, looking pleased with himself.
There weren't many people left now. "Moon" "Nott" "Parkinson" then a pair of twin girls, "Patil" and "Patil" then "Perks, Sally-Anne" and then, at last - "Potter, Harry!"
As Harry stepped forward, whispers suddenly broke out like little hissing fires all over the hall.
"Potter, did she say?"
The Harry Potter?"
The last thing Harry saw before the hat dropped over his eyes was the hall full of people craning to get a good look at him. Next second he was looking at the black inside of the hat. He waited.
Hmm," said a small voice in his ear. "Difficult. Very difficult. Plenty of courage, I see. Not a bad mind either. There's talent, A my goodness, yes - and a nice thirst to prove yourself, now that's interesting... So where shall I put you?"
Harry gripped the edges of the stool and thought, Not Slytherin, not Slytherin.
"Not Slytherin, eh?" said the small voice. "Are you sure? You could be great, you know, it's all here in your head, and Slytherin will help you on the way to greatness, (harry gave in)and so SLYTHERIN."
Harry heard the hat shout the last word to the whole hall. There was a deafening silence as he took off the hat and walked shakily toward the Slytherin table.
The Slytherins stood started clapping encouraging the others to give a huge round of applause. A brown-haired prefect nodded at him as he did the same. He sat beside a brunette called Tracey Davies. Adrian Prucey, the student who was called next, also went in Slytherin and sat beside Harry.
He could see the High Table properly now. At the end nearest he sat Hagrid, who caught his eye and was frozen with his face wearing a shocked look, he did not notice Harry looking at him. And there, in the centre of the High Table, in a large gold chair, sat Albus Dumbledore. Harry recognized him at once from the card he'd gotten out of the Chocolate Frog on the train. Dumbledore's silver hair was the only thing in the whole hall that shone as brightly as the ghosts. Harry spotted Professor Quirrell, too, the nervous young man from the Leaky Cauldron. He was looking very peculiar in a large purple turban.
He then went to gaze at Ron, the latest sorted child and Harry's second friend (Hedwig was his first) who was busy celebrating and did not look at him. And now there was only one person left to be sorted. "Zabini, Blaise," was made a Slytherin. Professor McGonagall rolled up her scroll and took the Sorting Hat away.
"The name is Parkinson Pansy Parkinson." "I am Greengrass Daphne Greengrass" came all the introductions, they had decided to wait till the end of the sorting so that they would not have to repeat themselves, Harry had a problem remembering all the faces with the names.
As Harry introduced himself Pansy Parkinson asked, "Do you not know about pureblood traditions and culture?"
Harry shook his head and answered "Wait, what pureblood traditions and culture! I only knew magic existed on my 11th birthday." Pansy sighed and told him to act as Adrian Prucey, who was sitting in front of him thus giving him a proper view to copy, does.
Albus Dumbledore had gotten to his feet. He was beaming at the students, his arms opened wide as if nothing could have pleased him more than to see them all there.
"Welcome," he said. "Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
"Thank you!"
He sat back down. Everybody clapped and cheered but the Slytherins sneered. Harry didn't know whether to laugh or not.
"Is he - a bit mad?" he asked Tracey uncertainly.
Mad?" said Tracy as if she were talking about dirt. "A bit mad! No ways He's completely off his rocker! He is a muggle lover, hates our old traditions claims them 'dark', as if. Salad, Harry?"
Harry's mouth fell open. The dishes in front of him were now piled with food. He had never seen so many things he liked to eat on one table: roast beef, roast chicken, pork chops and lamb chops, sausages, bacon and steak, boiled potatoes, salad, fries, Yorkshire pudding, peas, carrots, gravy, two verities of juices, ketchup, and, for some strange reason, peppermint humbugs.
The Dursleys had never exactly starved Harry, but he'd never been allowed to eat as much as he liked. Dudley had always taken anything that Harry wanted, even if It made him sick. Harry piled his plate with a bit of everything except the peppermints and began to eat. It was all delicious.
Dinner was a silent affair unlike the Gryffindor's where there was a ghost who seized his left ear and pulled. His whole head swung off his neck and fell onto his shoulder as if it was on a hinge. Someone had tried to behead him, but not done it properly.
Then Harry saw a horrible ghost sitting there, with blank staring eyes, a gaunt face, and robes stained with silver blood.
Harry tried to shake his hand and introduced himself to the ghost. Key word tried.
Harry's hand passed through it giving him the sudden, horrible feeling he'd just plunged it into a bucket of ice-cold water. Harry shivered.
When everyone had eaten as much as they could, the remains of the food faded from the plates, leaving them sparkling clean as before. A moment later the desserts appeared. Blocks of ice cream in every flavour you could think of, apple pies, treacle tarts, chocolate éclairs and jam doughnuts, trifle, strawberries, Jell-O, rice pudding -
Harry looked up at the High Table again. Hagrid was drinking deeply from his goblet. Professor McGonagall was talking to Professor Dumbledore. Professor Quirrell, in his absurd turban, was talking to a teacher with greasy black hair, a hooked nose, and pale skin.
It happened very suddenly. The hook-nosed teacher looked past Quirrell's turban straight into Harry's eyes - and a sharp, hot pain shot across the scar on Harry's forehead.
"Ouch!" Harry clapped a hand to his head.
"What is it?" asked Theodore Nott, another fellow Slytherin.
"N-nothing."
The pain had gone as quickly as it had come. Harder to shake off was the feeling Harry had gotten from the teacher's look - a feeling that he didn't like Harry at all.
"Who's that teacher talking to Professor Quirrell?" he asked Draco Malfoy with whom he had made a truce with.
"Oh, you know Quirrell already, do you? that's Professor Snape. He is our head of the house, teaches Potions. You'll meet him a lot in the common room. So apparently you don't know anything about pureblood traditions and culture." Draco pensively said.
" What about the muggle-born books, you should have got" He asked after a moment.
"what type of books are you talking about?" Harry asked terrified at not knowing something that he was supposed to know.
"They are the usual 'how to write with a quill?' and such things that you need to know. Did you think they would let you in with just a 'you're a wizard' ,no obviously not. I'll take you to professor Snape for the books, you will have to read them as soon as possible." Draco explained, nearly sneering at the 'you're a wizard' part.
At last, the desserts too disappeared, and Professor Dumbledore got to his feet again. The hall fell silent.
"Ahern - just a few more words now that we are all fed and watered. I have a few start-of-term notices to give you.
"First years should note that the forest on the grounds is forbidden to all pupils. And a few of our older students would do well to remember that as well."
Dumbledore's twinkling eyes flashed in the direction of the twins, who were Ron's elder brothers.
"I have also been asked by Mr Filch, the caretaker, to remind you all that no magic should be used between classes in the corridors.
"Quidditch trials will be held in the second week of the term. Anyone interested in playing for their house teams should contact Madam Hooch.
"And finally, I must tell you that this year, the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a very painful death."
"He's not serious?" he asked the prefect who had nodded to him.
"Must be," said she, frowning at Dumbledore. "It's odd because he usually gives us a reason why we're not allowed to go somewhere - the forest's full of dangerous beasts, everyone knows that. I do think he might have told us, prefects, at least. Plus he is an idiot, the way he said it he sent more than half of the Gryffindor's to their death."
"And now, before we go to bed, let us sing the school song!" cried Dumbledore. Harry noticed that all the older Slytherins groaned and the other teachers' smiles had become rather fixed.
Dumbledore gave his wand a little flick as if he was trying to get a fly off the end, and a long golden ribbon flew out of it, which rose high above the tables and twisted itself, snakelike, into words.
"Everyone picks their favourite tune," said Dumbledore, "and off we go!" And the school bellowed:
"Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts,
Teach us something please,
Whether we be old and bald
Or young with scabby knees,
Our heads could do with filling
With some interesting stuff,
For now, they're bare and full of air,
Dead flies and bits of fluff,
So teach us things worth knowing,
Bring back what we've forgotten,
just do your best, we'll do the rest,
And learn until our brains all rot.
Everybody finished the song at different times. At last, only the Weasley twins were left singing along to a very slow funeral march. Dumbledore conducted their last few lines with his wand and when they had finished, he was one of those who clapped loudest.
"Ah, music," he said, wiping his eyes. "A magic beyond all we do here! And now, bedtime. Off you trot!"
They followed the prefects to a door at the edge of the entrance hall. Behind the door was a set of stone steps which descend deep into the dungeons.
The entrance to the common room was located behind a bare stretch of the stone wall in the dungeons of Hogwarts Castle. A password was required to enter it; whereupon a passage was revealed leading to the common room.
The Slytherin common room was a long, low underground room with rough stone walls and ceiling, from which round, greenish lamps were hanging on chains. A fire was crackling under an elaborately carved mantelpiece ahead of them, and several Slytherins were silhouetted around it in carved chairs. Since this dungeon extended partway under the lake, it gave the light in the room a green tinge. The common room had lots of low backed black and dark green button-tufted, leather sofas; skulls; and dark wood cupboards. One of the wooden tables had a Wizard's Chess set on it. It was decorated with tapestries featuring the adventures of famous Medieval Slytherins. It has quite a grand atmosphere, but also quite a cold one.
The brown-haired prefect started, " Now the last of you are here take a seat. Hello all I am Gemma Farley and this is Orion Belby and we are the 5th year prefects. These are Medula Snyde and Maximus walker your 6th-year prefects and finally, Cecelia Lee and Tomcometrus Shaq are our seventh-year prefects. So you all are sorted into the noble and most ancient house of Slytherin, others believe that we train you to be future death eaters which is tripe. There are only 4 rules you have to follow."
" Slytherins are a United front always stay with a fellow Slytherin. Your house is your family, stay together arguments with other Slytherins are permitted here only" Tomcometrus started. "Whatever you do, do it to your best ability and don't get caught. Whether it's only to wear a uniform or a duel." Cecelia continued." The Hogwarts House Elves are not your servants. Keeping your dorm rooms and the common room clean is your responsibility. The common room does not belong to YOU. It belongs to everyone. Keep it neat. Dorm inspections once a month. These are NOT scheduled. You are forewarned."
Maximus followed. "Study time is QUIET time and is mandatory. You will receive schedules every week. So are House meetings. House Meetings are almost always scheduled. All meals are mandatory. No sweets in your dorms. No sweets after 8 pm. Those taking a Nutrition Potion will come to professor Snape or Madame Pomfrey once a week." Media picked up from there.
"You will discover in your seven years here that I will give you further guidelines and rules that you can take past the walls of Hogwarts." Orion resumed. "Don't forget the Secret of Slytherin:
Plan in ways a Ravenclaw finds the sound
Blend like a Hufflepuff into the background
As for the Gryffindor, learn from their mistakes
And be ready to react, Slytherin, swift as a snake. And professor that is that." Gemma ended.
"Miss Farley" Snape started, "that was adequate. These are the rules I expect everyone in Slytherin to follow; to the letter. They are, however, not the only rules. Your Bedtimes:
First years - 9 pm
Second thru Fourth years -10 pm
Fifth thru Sixth years - 11 pm
Seventh years - Midnight
The Main Rules of Slytherin House as found posted in the common room etched into a silver plaque stuck to the wall with a Permanent Sticking Charm.
Also if there are any problems whether friendship issues or studying problems you can come to me anytime. Now it's one minute to nine so go into the bed."
"Come on, Harry follow me", Draco said as he ran to the professor who seemed to be exiting the common room.
"Professor Snape could we have a word?" Draco asked.
" What happened misters Malfoy and potter" a silky smooth voice of professor Snape drawled.
"Professor harry do-" Draco started but was interrupted
"If Mister Potter has a problem then he can say or does he have a speaking disorder?" 150 points to your house team if you figure out who said this, just kidding, its obvious. It was Professor Snape who said it.
"Well no sir, I live with my aunt Petunia and her husband, they hate magic so much that it is the only time Dudley, my spoiled cousin, was said no was when he wanted books on Merlin Emerys. So the 31th was the first time that I knew that magic existed. My only source was Hagrid who came to take me shopping. Draco here said that there are books which are to be given to muggle-borns like mum and I haven't received of have been asked to buy any except for The Standard Book of Spells Year 1 by Miranda Goshawk A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration by Emeric Switch A History of Magic by Bathilda Bagshot. Magical Theory by Adalbert Waffling One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi by Phyllida Spore Magical Drafts and Potions by Arsenius Jigger Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander and The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection by Quentin Trimble. So Draco suggested to tell you as you are the head of our house. Is that ok?"
Snape gave a sharp nod and said, "You books will be on your desk by the morning."
They went away towards the dormitories only separating when they reached their door.
Harry entered a room with Harry Potter and Adrian Prucey written on the door. Slytherins sleep in ancient four-posters with green silk hangings. During the night it is possible to listen to the lake water lapping against the windows. Also, silver lanterns hung from the ceilings. The walls were decorated with Slytherin. In one dormitory 2 students sleep. Harry was exhausted and slept a dreamless sleep.
THE END