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“Thousands of years spent suffering, cleaning up messes you didn’t even make. How loyal...how pathetic.”
A short Inazuman man stood away from the swarming crowd, children and adults alike all holding Xiao lanterns with wishes personal to each one of them, how terribly unique but predictable humanity seemed to be.
“Karmic debt piled up so high you have chosen to hide away from the very harbour and people you promised to protect in fear of poisoning them.”
The man mused, gently dusting his thumbs over the light, paper thin covering of his own Xiao lantern.
“Despite all you’ve done for them they speak your name in hushed fear, telling their children that if they’re naughty the Slayer of Demons will strike them down with his jade spear.”
The man looked over at the crowd once more, disdain obvious in his sharp purple eyes. For once he was not wearing his uniform, instead he was dressed in a black cheongsam, a Vajrada Amethyst coloured dragon wrapped around the fabric, designed in the same way to a certain Yaksha’s tattoo. Over the top he wore a black and purple full length haori, the pattern was heavily inspired by lightning. It was probably a horrible mix of colours but why should he particularly care? Mortal judgment meant nothing to him after all.
“You shunned me once, in fear of corrupting me.”
He pressed his lips gently to the paper. His lips were stained red, much like the eyeshadow on his eyes, why had he gotten so dressed up? In hope of meeting the Yaksha perhaps? Who was he fooling? That Yaksha had made it evident that he was infatuated with the anemo archon many thousands of years ago.
“You ran to the side of the anemo archon, forgetting that I could also help you.”
He shut his eyes, he fell into silence as a tear slipped traitorously from his eyes.
“Do you remember when we first met? That day on the balcony of that cursed pagoda? I had been asleep, barely enough time to grab the first layer of my kimono, certainly no time to apply makeup or fix my hair. I had ran out onto the balcony only to find a boy fighting off fully grown men, fake gods.”
The man took out something from a hidden pocket, looping a pale finger around the entrapment which held the plaustrite shard in place.
“You jumped up to my balcony, adorning that demonic mask you always wear. Instead of scurrying off in fear do you remember how I lifted my sleeve to wipe the blood from your mask? Do you remember how you lent into my hand in much the same way a kitten does? Oh how touch starved you were back then...I treasure the memory of us clutching onto each other as if the world was about to end right there despite how we found ourselves in this position a multitude of times.”
He chuckled, a small, fond smile making its way onto painted lips. Faint silver scars flashed in the light of the burning candle, dancing across his pale skin like how ice freezes on glass.
“You were so shocked to see my amber chains, enraged even. You tried so desperately to hack away at them, trying to free me...me, a boy who stood in a room, trapped in a pagoda, no mortal around for miles to care for my needs. I never even told you my name no matter how desperately I wanted to hear you say it…I still cannot say it.”
He looked proudly at his work, from the metal at the bottom of the Xiao lantern dangled a golden spined string with a kinchaku at the end, inside the seemingly weightless bag was a kazari kanzashi with glass flowers dangling from the gold hair pin.
A Momo flower meaning “I am your captive”, a cherry blossom flower meaning “beauty of heart”, a Sakurasou meaning “long-lasting love”, Asagao meaning “brief love”, a chrysanthemum meaning “trust me”, an orange osmanthus meaning “truth”, a Japanese apricot flower meaning “faithfulness”.
“The curse of Gods. Perhaps I am too much of a sap, I’m sure if Ryūjin were to see me he would call me a love sick fool.”
He cupped the small glass flowers in his palm, delicately placing a kiss to them.
“I highly doubt you would ever wear this my dearest Yaksha, it is why I am finally giving you this gift I have spent thousands of years making.”
Next he placed a small purple rope bicep bracelet into the bag.
“It took me a while but if you wear this into battle, I will always be protecting you no matter how far our distance.”
He placed one last kiss onto the Xiao lantern and held it in his grasp with his arms outstretched above his head.
“Xiao. Alatus. This is my offering to the mighty, unwavering guardian of Liyue Harbour. May the Anemo Yaksha be at peace, may he thrive victorious in each battle, may he never fall victim to injury….and may some of his karmic debt be released from his shoulders. May the Old Gods and the Archons protect you my beloved warrior.”
He released his lantern into the sky, watching it as it joined the hundreds of others into the sky, becoming nothing more than a single blip in a sea of light.
Scaramouche walked towards the teleport way point and grabbed a hold of it. He felt the world warp and within seconds he landed on the wooden decking of Wangshu Inn. He walked down to the desk where Verr Goldet was waiting, she turned to look at him with a smile.
“Master Balladeer, welcome back! How was your first Lantern Rite?”
She spoke warmly to him in such a way he hadn’t heard in years, it was hard to find someone who spoke kindly to you when you were a feared Fatui Harbinger after all.
“It was pleasant, thank you for asking.”
He politely smiled at her, gently bowing ever so slight in recognition and respect.
“So? What did you wish for hmm?”
She leant forward, still smiling but now her eyes were shut, she was relaxing in his presence...how strange.
“Someone who probably needs it most.”
His own smile turned wistful again as his heart gently painted with both longing and love at the thought of Xiao.
“Oh? Whose that?”
She tilted her head, giving him an almost knowing smile.
“Well who else to wish for with a Xiao lantern other than the Guardian Yaksha himself yes?”
He flicked his eyes up to her. Her eyes widened in shock before settling with the same warmth a mother would, she nodded gratefully and the thank you did not need to be spoken for him to understand what she meant.
Scaramouche bowed at her once more and then made his way out onto the balcony where Smiley Yanxiao placed a plate of fresh almond tofu, exactly what he had requested be made for him for his time of arrival. He happily ate the rather sweet desert despite his dislike for sweet things and the fact eating such a desert only reminded him of the meals the Yaksha would make, the only thing he was capable of making was almond tofu and even then the Yaksha would put a spin on it to fit both of their tastes. Oh how he missed Xiao and his delicately sweet almond tofu.
Verr Goldet turned in the direction of the adeptus shrouded in the shadows. She knew he was there, she also knew he had listened in and as he stepped out of the darkness she noticed a Xiao lantern in the boy’s hands, a punch dangling from the bottom.
“He cares for you deeply, you should go say hello.”
Xiao just grunted in response and turned to stomp his way up the stairs, she did not miss the redness of his ears nor the rare little smile on his lips.
When Xiao got to his usual room he placed the lantern down on his bed gently and walked to the private balcony he liked to watch from when mortals busied themselves on the main balcony. He couldn’t help but let his eyes drift down to gaze upon the Inazuman man who over so many years had not changed, he felt his heartbeat quicken, his cheeks heated when he realised the man was digging into a second plate of almond tofu.
It had occurred many years ago now that he had perhaps fallen in love with the nameless man who stood like a blessed light on his darkest of days. On his loneliest of days he could almost remember what it felt like to be hugged by that man. On his most silent of days he could faintly remember the song he would sing as Xiao would rest his head on the man’s lap, purring as fingers ran gently through his hair, nails gently scratching at his scalp, pads of fingers as the tips of nails ran gently down his neck and sometimes his back.
He missed him, he missed everything about him and yet he would not be able to live with himself anymore if he hurt the man who held his heart in any way.
Perhaps he was just destined to watch from afar and live in the memories of tender, much more loving days.