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Soobin and Beomgyu had only gotten into one fight in their entire friendship.
It was when they were four and five, they had been playing together on the couch when Beomgyu had grabbed one of Soobin's doughy cheeks and bitten it as hard as he could. Soobin had run to his mother, holding his slobbery cheek and hiding behind her. When Beomgyu had seen the fat tears rolling down his face, he’d started crying too.
After that, Soobin refused to speak to Beomgyu until his mother took the bandage off his cheek and deemed him cured. They’d had a sleepover that night, and Beomgyu had turned to him in bed and pressed a soft little kiss to Soobin’s cheek, promising never to bite it again.
Twelve years later, and Beomgyu still told everyone that that week of no talking had been the hardest time of his entire life. Soobin still showed people where Beomgyu’s tooth had left a scar by his left dimple.
Things were different now, but mostly the same. They still lived across the street from each other, still walked to school together, still sometimes cried to each other when things weren't going their way. Of course, now it wasn't because Soobin had toppled over a lego tower he’d spent hours on, or because Beomgyu dropped his stuffed bear in the toilet. It was things like too much classwork or being afraid of not going to college or sometimes because they watched a sad anime and couldn't keep the tears back.
One thing that would never change was the fact that they were a pair, no matter what.
“Beomgyu, have you ever kissed anyone?” The question came about halfway through their third movie of the night. The room was almost completely dark, save for the TV and Beomgyu’s teddy bear nightlight. It was so early that even the street lamps had turned off outside. Both boys were cuddled up on the floor in front of Beomgyu's bed, legs tangled under what was probably every stray blanket in the house. Beomgyu had been resting against Soobin’s chest for the entirety of this movie, clearly about to fall asleep.
“Huh?” Beomgyu’s response blended with a yawn.
Soobin sighed and asked again. Onscreen, the female protagonist was trying on dresses for her best friend in a montage accompanied by catchy music. “Have you ever kissed anyone?” He lowered his voice a bit more this time.
Beomgyu yawned again and shook his head, using the movement to snuggle closer to Soobin. “No, not yet,” he sighed. “I kinda don't want to. I'm sixteen now, everyone I know has already had their first kiss. I don't wanna kiss someone and suck at it, you know?”
As if he understood, Soobin nodded along. “I haven't kissed anyone either. So, not everyone you know. You know?”
If Beomgyu had been a little less sleepy, he might have noticed the way Soobin’s hand (which had been resting on Beomgyu’s hip under the blanket, thumb pushing beneath his shirt to rub gently over his hipbone) started to fiddle with the edges of his shirt. He didn't. “Oh? I thought maybe when you dated What’s-Her-Face…”
“Yeji? She broke up with me in the middle of the first date because she’d had an epiphany on the car ride over and realized she was a lesbian. I didn't mind, she offered to pay for our food,” Soobin chuckled at the memory. “But no, no kisses,”
Involuntarily, he flicked his eyes down to look at Beomgyu. He had nice eyelashes, they rested pretty on his cheeks as he closed his eyes. Soobin tried to steer his eyes away from Beomgyu’s lips...maybe it was all the talking about kissing, but he couldn't. Suddenly, the only thing on his mind was how soft his lips looked. How kissable . “Hey, Beomgyu?” Soobin spoke before he even registered he was speaking.
“Mm?” Beomgyu hummed. He was clearly tired, already feeling heavier on Soobin’s side as he began to drift off.
“Kiss me?” Soobin winced as his voice cracked a bit on the second word. He looked down and saw Beomgyu staring at him with wide eyes. “Like, get it out of the way. We can teach each other, so it isn't awkward when we do the real thing. Right?”
Beomgyu nodded along, brain slow and groggy with sleep. “Yeah…” he trailed off a bit, sleepiness clearly getting the best of him. “Yeah, let’s do that,”
Soobin didn't hesitate to lean in. Beomgyu was already straightening himself up and closing his eyes, ready to meet Soobin in the middle.
Beomgyu’s lips were just as soft as Soobin suspected.
The kiss was brief. Beomgyu barely even opened his eyes when he pulled away, curling up tighter and wrapping an arm around Soobin’s waist so he could fall fully asleep. Soobin smiled. His lips felt electric, but his head felt fuzzy and warm.
Soobin looked down to where Beomgyu was beginning to drool on the front of his shirt, still pretty as ever. And, wow , first kisses were supposed to be awkward? He ran a hand through Beomgyu's hair, sliding down so both of them could lay flat.
Even as Soobin fell asleep, warmed mostly by Beomgyu’s cuddles, he felt like his lips were tingling, the ghost of Beomgyu’s soft little kiss still lingered.
---
Proposing kissing lessons to Beomgyu was surprisingly easy. It was a simple Hey, remember when we kissed last night? We should practice more if we wanna get good. followed by Oh, sure. I think kissing you is nice.
Beomgyu barely remembered kissing Soobin, if he was totally honest. He remembered the kiss itself, and the way something in his core fluttered with excitement as he pulled away. As Soobin led him up to his room, a familiar feeling of butterflies took flight in his stomach.
Soobin’s room was a familiar place, Beomgyu had been there every other afternoon for most of his life. The prospect of something new – kissing, to be specific – made the normally warm and comfy bed feel stiff and cold beneath him.
From his desk, Soobin pulled up a video entitled How To Kiss: For Beginners and unplugged his computer. He joined Beomgyu on the bed, setting the laptop on his pillows and sitting next to Beomgyu so they could follow the instructions.
Step One: Hold their cheek .
Soobin reached out and almost slapped Beomgyu in the face trying to hold him. Once he had one of Beomgyu’s cheeks gripped in a fist, he went to continue playing the video.
“You know,” Beomgy mused aloud. His voice sounded funny from the way his lips were smushed on one side, where Soobin was currently squishing his cheek. “I think they just meant place it on my cheek and hold my face , so you can lead me.”
“Oh, please,” Soobin scoffed, “I was born before you, I think I know how to hold a cheek,”
He did not.
A demonstration video popped up. Soobin quickly loosened his hold and adjusted his hand so it was cupping Beomgyu’s jaw, rather than leaving violent fingerprint marks on the soft skin of his cheeks.
They stared into each other's eyes for a moment before Beomgyu cleared his throat awkwardly. “We should, uh, start the video again,”
Soobin nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, okay.” He broke their eye contact and hit the play button.
Step two: Tilt your head .
And, okay, they could figure this out. Beomgyu did his best not to move his head as he closed Soobin’s computer. Soobin turned to him with confused eyes.
“But...our guide…”
“We can do without it,” Beomgyu leaned his head into Soobin’s hand. “Besides, you aren't going to have a guide when you do the real thing, are you?”
Soobin shrugged. I guess not . He scooted closer, eyes flicking around Beomgyu’s face and landing anywhere but his eyes.
“Soobin,” Beomgyu called gently, “look at me when you kiss me,”
With a nod, Soobin shimmied closer. The way he leaned in, tilted his head...it was all tantalizingly slow. Beomgyu wanted to hurry up and lean in and just kiss this stupid boy already. But this was how Soobin was, had always been. Careful, calculating.
Even as their lips met, Soobin was cautious. Beomgyu fought back a smile and buried the feeling of comfort blooming in his stomach at how perfectly their lips slotted together. Soobin’s hand on his cheek was slowly inching its way back to push Beomgyu’s head forward, bringing them closer and closer.
They broke apart for air. Beomgyu wasn't sure if he was panting because he hadn't been breathing while kissing, or if it was because Soobin took his breath away.
“For a newbie, you're a pretty good kisser,”
Soobin laughed breathlessly and scratched behind his ear, obviously flustered. Beomgyu just kept smiling, the hint of Soobin’s lips on his even more intoxicating now that he was fully awake.
“Beomgyu,” Soobin chuckled, “how can you say that? You don't have anything to compare me to,”
“My stuffed animals disagree,”
Soobin looked horrified. “ Mr. Snuffles? ”
“That's right! Seventh grade, you had the flu and Yeonjun had just started bragging about his new girlfriend and I wanted to kiss people too.” He thought for a second before adding, “a five-foot tall stuffed bear isn't a person, but you get the idea,”
Any nervousness that Soobin had had during the kiss was gone. Everything seemed lighter now that they were joking around again. Bros.
Soobin took Beomgyu’s face in his hand again, not even bothering not to look at his lips as he said, “I think I can kiss an awful lot better than Mr. Snuffles,”
Beomgyu gulped nervously, a pleasant feeling spreading through his chest and stomach. He matched Soobin’s energy as he murmured, “Show me?”
(Soobin could, in fact, kiss better than Mr. Snuffles. Beomgyu left his house feeling like his stomach was filled with helium, lips red and bruised from kissing so much. If his mom noticed, she didn't say anything.)
---
Flash forward three weeks and Soobin can't. Stop. Kissing. Beomgyu. In the back of the car when they're heading to the mall, in bathroom stalls at school, and especially when it’s just the two of them.
It's become a part of their daily routine. They go over to one of their houses, play video games, and then kiss on the bed until one of them has to leave, or it's time for dinner. Up until recently it was just innocent things – maybe a little nibble on the bottom lip as they pulled away – but now it was...heavier. Soobin didn't dislike it.
Actually, he loved it. Anytime Beomgyu was kissing him, it felt electric . He always tasted sweet, like candy, and Soobin wanted more. Even when they’d been going for hours, and Beomgyu didn't have the energy to do much more than smile and mumble against his lips, Soobin wanted more .
Not that Beomgyu wasn't equally as enthusiastic. He told Soobin that kissing him felt like taking a mouthful of popping candy, that he wished he could do it when it wasn't just them.
Which brought them to their current predicament.
They were at Yeonjun’s house. They were in his guest bedroom , for fuck’s sake, and Beomgyu was hovering over Soobin and kissing him like he was air, and Beomgyu had been underwater for years. Soobin had his fingers tangled in Beomgyu’s dark hair, wrapping the locks around his fingers and controlling the kiss.
Just as Beomgyu was turning his head, kissing him deeper , and Soobin was reaching the edge of his ability to think coherently, the door burst open.
Yeonjun. “Oh. Oh . Oh, my god. You? And-and you ?” Somehow, he didn't sound too surprised. Soobin scrambled up and managed to see Yeonjun disappearing from the doorway, gleeful laughter following him down the hall.
He looked at Beomgyu. He was dazed, lips red and wet from kissing. His hair was a mess , and Soobin would bet money that he couldn't string two thoughts together if they had nothing to do with making out.
“Hey,” Soobin said softly. Beomgyu looked up at him, eyes a bit clearer now that he had something to focus on. “I'm gonna go talk to Yeonjun. You can use the brush in my bag.” He pressed a soft peck to Beomgyu’s lips, laughing under his breath when Beomgyu tried to chase him to keep kissing.
Soobin closed the door behind him carefully and turned to Yeonjun, who was still standing by. He wasn't even trying to hide his laughter.
“I cannot believe –”
“This is not the comedy you think it is,”
“You were so into it!” Yeonjun tried to bite his lip to keep the laughter in. He ended up doubling over anyway. “I knocked, like, four times! You should've told us you were dating, Binnie.” His tone turned a bit more serious. “You know we wouldn't care. I would’ve let you guys take the loveseat instead of letting Kai use it for all his plushies,”
Soobin snorted at that. “We aren't dating,”
“...You're kidding.”
“Nope.” Soobin shook his head. “It’s kissing lessons. You just happened to interrupt a particularly…” he hesitated. “Heated. Learning session,”
Yeonjun looked bewildered and amused at the same time. “Learning. Is that what the kids are calling it these days?”
Soobin’s only response was an eye roll. “Don't bring it up, okay?”
“It's not my business.” Yeonjun shrugged. “If you make out in my house I'm taking you to conversion therapy, though,”
Soobin was about to retort when the door opened and Beomgyu stepped out, lips still swollen. He looked up at Soobin and smiled and Soobin almost turned into a puddle of goo.
“Sorry for kissing in your bed, Yeonjun.” Beomgyu was not, in fact, sorry. He was quite the opposite, if the way he kept running his tongue over his lips to remember the way Soobin’s kiss felt, to get another taste —
Sudden screaming from the other room sent Soobin rushing out to see Kai and Taehyun wrestling, a molang plush sitting a few feet away in a discarded popcorn bowl. Kai kicked Taehyun off him and ran to Yeonjun, pointing angrily at his poor plushie.
“It’s got butter on it!”
Beomgyu sidled up to Soobin as Yeonjun helped Kai and Taehyun attend to the buttered molang.
“Sorry about earlier,” he whispered, as if anyone could hear them.
Soobin kissed the top of his head, already knowing it would make Beomgyu giggly and sweet later that night. “It's fine,” he replied, “I liked it,”
We should do it more often.
---
“Are you and Soobin dating?”
The question came when Beomgyu and Yeonjun were in the middle of studying. Well, Yeonjun was studying. Beomgyu was chewing on the end of his pen and silently hoping that it would break and ink would go into his mouth and he would die a quick and painless ink-related death right there on the library floor.
Yeonjun’s voice burst his imaginary bubble – halfway through his funeral, when all his friends were wailing and throwing themselves onto his grave in grief – and Beomgyu had to take a moment to register what he had said.
“Oh.” He realized it was in reference to their kissing incident not even four days ago. “No.”
“See, I find that hard to believe.” Yeonjun closed the book he was reading and looked at Beomgyu closely. “Friends don't kiss. Not like that. ‘Not dating’ doesn't cuddle each other to sleep watching romantic movies after everyone else has fallen asleep. ‘Not dating’ doesn't make out at parties until one or both of them is a mess . You–”
Beomgyu cut him off with a simple, “Soobin isn't my boyfriend,”
“Oh, so do you try to lick all your friends' tonsils like that?”
“First of all, Soobin had his tonsils removed , like, forever ago. Second of all, he was teaching me how to kiss–”
“Which is something all friends do, of course,” Yeonjun interrupted sarcastically.
“– Third of all , Soobin’s not just a friend. He’s a bro for life.” Beomgyu finished, nodding along with his own words.
Yeonjun silently wished he had brought someone else to study with him, as he was fairly certain that Beomgyu was siphoning his brain cells out and turning them into statements such as bro for life. “So you do this with every bro for life? Does that mean I’m not a bro for life?” He asked, amused by the way Beomgyu scrambled for something to say back.
“No, you are. It's just–” Beomgyu cut himself off with a sigh that was borderline dreamy. How he didn't see that he was totally gone for Soobin, Yeonjun didn't know.
He could picture the headline now: New Densest Element Found! High School Student Choi Beomgyu Discovered to be Denser Than Osmium!
“With Soobin it’s like, in any life I would choose to be with him,”
“...As a bro?” Yeonjun wasn't really asking. Beomgyu had it bad, and he couldn't even tell.
Beomgyu nodded along, a wide smile breaking out on his face. “As a bro! See, now you get it!”
Yeonjun slammed his head into the table. He lifted his face back up, an angry red mark on his forehead. “You are so stupid ,”
“What's wrong with being bros?”
“Okay, let me put it this way. Are we bros?” Yeonjun asked.
“Yes…”
“Right. Are you and Taehyun bros?”
“Of course!”
“And you and Kai?”
“Yes, yes, we’re all bros.” Beomgyu unleashed a mighty yawn and snuck a look at the time. Five minutes until lunch. “What about it?”
“Would you kiss us?” Yeonjun asked. Beomgyu made a grossed-out face.
“Ew, no. You guys are gross ,” he replied. Then he mimed throwing up, accompanied with sound effects and everything.
“But you’ll kiss Soobin, who is allegedly on the same level of ‘bros’ as we are.” Yeonjun stared at Beomgyu, waiting for it to click. “You want to kiss Soobin. You want to date Soobin. You are in love with Soobin.”
Beomgyu just shrugged and hummed. “Maybe I am. But that doesn’t change the fact that we’re bros before anything else,”
“I thought you just said you don’t like him.” Yeonjun raised an eyebrow. Beomgyu smiled sheepishly.
“I didn’t say that. Stop spreading lies, I’ll sue you for defamation,”
“I-”
Beomgyu continued. “But anyway, yeah. It’s always been Soobin. I don’t know if he likes me back but I’ve been in love with him since we were kids. Who am I to reject his kisses?”
Yeonjun would be lying if he said he didn’t feel a little bad for bringing this about. “I think he does. Like you, I mean. You should tell him.” Beomgyu didn’t respond, so he added, “The kisses mean something to you. You need to tell him that, at least,”
Beomgyu didn’t reply. He stood, placing his study materials (the pen he was eating and a random book he’d used to make himself look busy) in his backpack and throwing it over his shoulder. “If we wanna get there before Taehyun puts all his textbooks on one of the seats, we should leave a little early,”
He started walking away. With a sigh, Yeonjun followed. Beomgyu hesitated when he got to the exit, turning back towards Yeonjun and fiddling with his backpack straps. “Please don’t tell anyone. I don’t want Soobin to know,”
Yeonjun pressed a finger to his lips and nodded, slinging an arm around Beomgyu’s shoulders and walking with him. “Your secret is safe with me,”
Once they had left the library, Beomgyu’s loud laughter echoing down the hall, Soobin stepped out from behind one of the bookshelves. His hands were shaking. He’d heard the whole thing, right down to Beomgyu admitting he was in love with him.
---
It didn't change some things. Deep down, Soobin had always known. But at the same time, everything was different. Now he had to do something, if Beomgyu loved him back.
Yes, back, because Soobin was completely, entirely, totally in love with his best friend. And his best friend loved him back.
Soobin couldn't stop thinking about it, and it showed. That afternoon, as Beomgyu was sitting in his lap and kissing his jaw (“practice” of course), he sat up and let out a little while.
“Are you even paying attention?” He asked. “We can stop and play games if you want,”
Soobin shook his head. “I am. Sorry. I'm a little distracted,”
“I can tell.” Beomgyu huffed and climbed off Soobin lap, sitting against the headboard beside him. “What's on your mind?”
“You,” Soobin answered honestly. His brain was muddy from thinking about his confession all day. “I don't think we should do this anymore,”
Beomgyu sat up a little straighter, no longer leaning against Soobin’s side. “Kissing? Okay.” His tone informed Soobin that it was not, in fact, okay.
“I don't wanna be friends–”
“Please don't do this.” Beomgyu sounded off. Soobin turned to him and saw his eyes brimming with tears. “Please. We don't have to ever do this again, I promise. Please–”
Soobin sat up and turned to him, placing his hands on either side of Beomgyu’s face. “I'm not. I'm not, god. Okay. Beomgyu, I don't want to just be friends. When I kiss you, I feel electric. I feel like I'm about to explode, and I love it.”
He took a break to wipe a stray tear from Beomgyu’s cheek. “I love you , and not just in a friend way. And I know you love me back,”
Beomgyu let out a sniffly laugh and wiped his eyes. “How did you know?”
“I heard you in the library today. But honestly? I think I always knew,”
It was quiet for a moment. Beomgyu was sniffling and calming himself down, rubbing his eyes until they were swollen and red. “But we can't kiss anymore?”
Soobin took Beomgyu's hands away from his eyes before he rubbed them off his face and smiled. “We can. Just...let's call it kissing instead of ‘lessons,’”
Beomgyu grinned, and Soobin felt his heart explode. “Awesome. So can we go back to kissing?”
“Depends, are you my boyfriend? I don't kiss boys who I’m not dating,” Soobin replied. He wanted to hear the words from Beomgyu’s mouth even more than he wanted to kiss Beomgyu’s mouth.
Beomgyu was already settling back on Soobin’s lap, smiling and leaning in. “Of course. You're my boyfriend. Kiss?”
Soobin pretended to think for a moment. Beomgyu pouted, and Soobin did what he had wanted to do since they first started with their ‘lessons.’ He kissed the pout off his boyfriend’s lips, heart fluttery.
Fireworks.