Work Text:
Everything
Koushiro got to Taichi's apartment by 9 o'clock, like Taichi had asked. Agumon was the one who opened the door. He had been living with Taichi full-time ever since his rematerialization, just like Pyiomon was living with Sora and Gabumon with Yamato. Koushiro suspected that was due to the trauma of their separation, but never commented on it. He didn't want to remind his friends of their anguish, especially because he didn't think he could really understand what they had gone through. After all, Koushiro had never lost Tentomon.
“Taichi is waiting for you in his bedroom,” Agumon said, smiling largely. “I'm going to watch some TV while you two talk.”
“Do you know what he wants to talk to me about?” Koushiro asked. “Taichi-san was really mysterious on the phone... did something bad happen?”
“No, no! Nothing bad happened! He wants to tell you something good! Something very important!” Agumon told him. “But I'm not telling you anything more than that!”
“Alright, then...” Koushiro said, entering the apartment. After taking his shoes off, he headed to Taichi's bedroom, which was a lot tidier than usual. The sheets covering the bed were clean, his books were organized over the desk and the only things on the floor were two pillows and a short-legged table, on which there was a large plate of rice balls. Taichi was standing up close to the open window, looking at the starry sky as the cool night breeze messed with his hair.
“Hello, Taichi-san,” Koushiro greeted. Taichi turned to him and smiled, which made Koushiro's heart skip a bit.
Taichi was wearing black pants and a white long sleeved orange shirt with buttons; his hair was still a bit wet, indicating that he had taken a shower not long before. Koushiro also noticed that Taichi had put on cologne, which made him self-conscious for going to his friend's apartment straight from the office, still wearing the same dark blue pants, white shirt and tie he had put on that morning. I should've taken a shower and changed clothes... Koushiro thought. But Taichi had such a serious voice when he asked him to come to his place, how could Koushiro not head straight to his apartment? There could be an emergency!
Taichi silently sat on a pillow and waited for Koushiro to sit on the other one, across from him. After Koushiro sat, the other looked into his eyes for almost an entire minute without saying anything, bearing a nervous expression.
“Did something happen, Taichi-san?” Koushiro asked, worried.
Taichi took a deep breath before replying:
“Do you know how in the movies people who are in love act in an odd way?” Taichi questioned. “They get nervous around the person they like, they think about them all the time, they blush and get butterflies in the stomach among other things, you know?”
“Yes,” Koushiro said. That was how people who were romantically attracted to others usually were. Koushiro didn't need to take examples from movies to know what Taichi was talking about, though. For years, he had felt that way towards him. However, Taichi had no way of knowing about Koushiro's feelings, because the redhead had decided a long time ago not to burden his friend with his unrequited love. Taichi had already so many things going on in his life, he shouldn't have to worry about turning down unsolicited affection.
“I never felt that,” Taichi confessed in a pained voice. “I've never fallen in love... I've tried to go out with people since I entered college but never got past the first date with anyone... I don't think I've ever felt the thing everybody else feels... that euphoria... and I'm starting to think I'll never feel that... there's something wrong with me and I can't fix it...”
To see Taichi in such sorrow was breaking Koushiro's heart. There was no need for him to feel bad, ever!
“There's nothing wrong with not feeling romantic attraction, Taichi-san!” Koushiro stated. “There are many people like that in the world, they call themselves aromantic!”
“Aromantic?” Taichi asked, as if he found that word strange.
“A few years ago, when I was trying to figure out if I was bisexual or asexual, I visited several blogs about sexual and romantic attraction and made some aromantic friends,” Koushiro told him. “They're wonderful and loving people. There's nothing to be ashamed about being aromantic, Taichi-san! Even if you don't feel romantic love, I know you're full of love for your family and your friends! You've always cared so much about everybody, you've always tried so hard to do what was best for everybody... I don't know anyone with a bigger heart than yours! You don't need to be fixed! You're not wrong in any conceivable way!”
Koushiro stopped talking when he noticed that Taichi had begun to cry. What had he done wrong? Was he insensitive by accident? What could he do to make the other feel better?
“Thank you,” Taichi told him, wiping his tears with the back of his hands. “You've always been so kind and supportive... I don't know how you still put up with me...”
“I don't 'put up' with you, Taichi-san. I like you and I care a lot about you!” Koushiro affirmed. Right after saying that, he worried that he had let his true feelings for Taichi come to the surface, but Taichi's warm smile put Koushiro at ease.
“This is kind of embarrassing... I had called you over and prepared everything because I wanted to tell you something else... but then I felt so much guilt and ended up saying all that...” Taichi muttered.
“Guilt? Why would you feel guilty?” Koushiro asked.
He gazed at him, studying every aspect of Koushiro's face. Taichi seemed more relaxed than before, but still a little nervous.
“Koushiro, I...” he hesitated, “I never got nervous around you. It's actually the opposite... your presence calms me down... you center me... I don't have the faintest idea what butterflies in the stomach are supposed to feel like, but I'm pretty sure I never felt that... I don't think about you all the time, but when I think about you... when I talk to you... it makes me happy...” Taichi smiled. “Not euphoric, just... it's a calm happiness... I'm at peace when I'm with you... I don't get flustered when I'm with you nor do I fantasize about kissing you or holding your hand... I think you're good-looking, but I don't think you're the most handsome person in the world because... objectively speaking that would be Pedro Pascal...”
Koushiro couldn't avoid but giggle at that last part. But then, he thought about the reason why Taichi was telling him those things. There was only one logical explanation.
“Listen, Taichi-san...” Koushiro said. “I think I know what you're trying to tell me... you must've figured out my feelings for you, right? You don't have to worry about explaining yourself to me. I would never hold against you the fact that you don't like me that way. It's alright, really! We can still be friends!”
Taichi stared at him, perplexed.
“What are you talking about, Koushiro?” Taichi asked. “What do you mean I figured out your feelings... OH MY GOODNESS, DO YOU LIKE ME?” he shouted once he finally understood. “DO YOU LIKE ME ROMANTICALLY? ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH ME?”
Koushiro felt his heart sink.
“You didn't know...?” he asked in a weak voice. “But, Taichi-san, you... you were turning me down gently, weren't you? You had to... why would you say that if you didn't know?”
“Turning you down? Do you think I called you over, dressed nicely and got those rice balls because I wanted to turn you down?” Taichi asked.
“B-But then... what were you... what are you trying to say to me?” Koushiro inquired, confused.
“I'm trying to say that I love you!” Taichi stated. “I love you in a way I don't love anyone else! It's more special than what I feel for my other friends, but it's not like what's portrayed in movies! I love everything about you! Your kindness, your caring personality, how hard-working you are, how I can always be honest with you and how you understand me so easily! I love how excited you get whenever you learn new things and how patient you are when other people don't immediately understand what you're talking about! You are wonderful! Koushiro, you make me so happy! I'm so glad I got to meet you and be your friend! I love you with all my heart... I love you as much as I'm capable! During the time Agumon was gone, you were by my side all the time and I understood that I wanted you to be with me forever... but that's very selfish of me, isn't it?” Taichi frowned. “You deserve more than the love I can give you... you deserve someone who will be nervous around you and blush and be euphoric... someone whose heart beats faster when you're around...”
“Taichi-san, stop saying that!” Koushiro told him, startling Taichi. “Do you realize how nonsensical you're sounding right now? You keep talking about how I deserve better than what you can give me, but have you ever asked yourself what I wanted?”
Taichi kept his eyes on Koushiro, not daring to say anything. The other continued:
“I love you and you love me! Who cares if we don't feel the exact same kind of love for each other? I certainly don't mind that! I don't care if you don't want to kiss me or hold my hand, nor do I care if you don't get nervous around me or if you don't desire me in the same way other people might! I honestly don't care about those hypothetical people! I care about you! And I want to be with you!”
Taichi's eyes widened after hearing that. Nevertheless, there was still a glimpse of fear in them.
“What if my love isn't enough for you?”
Koushiro smiled and told him in an assured voice:
“Your love is everything for me!”
Taichi smiled back at him, which made Koushiro deeply happy.
Suddenly, Agumon showed up at the bedroom's door.
“Taichi, if you're not going to eat the rice balls, can I have them?” the digimon asked.
“Agumon, were you spying on us?” Taichi asked, sheepishly.
“Of course I was!” Agumon admitted. “You were really worried about confessing your feelings to Koushiro and I wanted to make sure everything went smoothly.”
“You say that, but it's not as if you tried to stop me from blurting all my insecurities to Koushiro earlier,” Taichi accused.
“I didn't stop you because it was a good thing that you opened your heart to him,” Agumon explained. “That way, you won't have to worry about Koushiro not fully accepting you.”
Taichi and Koushiro exchanged looks and smiled at each other. Agumon was right. Thanks to Taichi's honesty, the two young men could be sure of how profoundly they loved and were loved by each other and of how happy their relationship would be.