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They were just finished with their weekly sparring. Enjoying the fact that the weather today gifted them with not only a clear sky but also a sweet breeze, Childe and Lumine had both decided to sit on the grass for a moment. Not to tire themselves too much after they had just fought without that much restraint - to the greatest horror of Paimon each time - they chose a corner to make their own not too far from the Golden House. But also not too close, to avoid the curious eyes of the millelith.
Under the shadow of the tree she chose to sit under, Lumine stretched so hard she could feel a tear forming at the corner of her eyes. It felt good. She was done with her small bandages. With all her travels, she had become an expert in quick and efficient healing. Plus, it was not like the wounds she had gotten from their friendly spar were that deep anyway. Maybe they were not holding back against each other every time they chose to spar, but it didn’t mean they were trying to inflige too much damage. That’s why, every time, Lumine insisted he did not use his Foul Legacy transformation, reminding him each time that if he did, he would not be able to spare with her for some weeks. It always was enough of a reminder to keep the boy in check.
Speaking of him, her eyes fell on his silhouette. He was sitting a little further from her, still taking care of some of his wounds on his arm. Some freshly made scar, courtesy of her blade. This was meant to happen, when the both of them were playing with blades. In favor of wrapping around it some bandages more efficiently, he had abandoned for an instant his shirt and undershirt, exposing his whole bare chest to the world.
But as she was looking at him, it was not what caught her attention (also, after all the time they clashed together already, it was definitely not the first time she saw him like that).
It was his own eyes she seeked, as they were currently busy looking at the light scratch he was dealing with. Using his teeth to cut the bandages now that his arm was wrapped well enough to his liking, his blue gaze shot up to meet her own.
“Are you curious about my eyes, girlie?”
His remark took her by surprise, was she staring too much maybe? If it's true she had meant to look at him, she had not realised how intense her own gaze had turned. Since she took too much time to reply, he continued.
“I’ve noticed you’ve been staring at them for longer than necessary.”
Finally, she crossed her arms on her chest, meeting his amused gaze as he finally rose up from his sitting position and started walking towards her.
“...Am I not allowed to look at my own boyfriend however it pleases me?”
Sitting down again, this time next to her, he let out an empty laugh.
“I didn’t mean it like that. Maybe you haven’t noticed but, you’ve been staring at my eyes like that since the first time we met.”
[i]Oh?[/i]
“There is no need to be shy, I know you must have realised it...”
He smiles a very fake smile, eyes closed. Combined with the next words that exit his mouth, it makes his whole facial expression suddenly quite sinister. She is used to him making disturbing faces sometimes, but this one is new.
“...The fact that there is no longer any light in them.”
Implying he did use to have light in his eyes just like everyone else does. And just like that, he opened his eyes again, allowing her to gaze into them as freely as she wanted. His eyes reminded her of the deep sea… Of what you may see while drowning in it, so far from the surface you can no longer see even a glimmer of light.
Softly, he allowed his forehead to rest against hers, and she let him bath in her personal space. She was used to it now. Ever since they started dating, he just liked being close to her.
“My mother was the first to notice it, when I came back that day.”
Lost in the moment, she had not expected him to continue speaking. Curious, she spoke up.
“Came back?”
From where? He took one of her hand in his suddenly. It was a soft gesture, his two hands cupping hers.
“I haven’t actually spoken of this to anyone.”
This got her attention, and he simply smiled at her.
“Haha don’t look at me like that, this has nothing to do with the Fatuis, so if you’re really curious about it, I can share. You ARE my girlfriend, after all. I’m actually surprised you never mentioned it before.”
He let go of her hand, only to put his arm around her, keeping her close to him.
“I’m curious.”
He smiled.
“I knew it. With all you already saw of me, there is no need to keep that hidden from you.”
He was saying that so casually, like he was not just about to dump some of his darkest memories from childhood on her… But as always, it was not in his eyes she would be able to find any answer. They said the eyes were supposed to be the mirror of the soul… What did this say about him then?
“I fell into the abyss when I was 14. It was there that I lost this precious light.”
She blinked.
“The abyss?”
“Yeah, the abyss. I ran away from home one evening, don’t exactly remember the context myself. But what I remember is that the wood I ran to was not kind at this hour of the day.”
She could feel the grip of his hand on her hip getting a bit tighter as he spoke, but she did not comment on it.
“It was while trying to save myself that I fell in it… Only to find myself surrounded by even scarier creatures.”
He was laughing it off like it was nothing, but Lumine could already feel her own gaze softening by instinct… And he noticed it, brows furrowing.
“Don’t look at me like that. I survived and I’m proud of it, it is all that matters. I don’t need the pity.”
Seeing that she immediately avoided his gaze, he sighed, a smile finding his way back on his lip.
“But… I’m sure 14 year old me would have been glad to know he had your pity and support. But I have your love now, and it's thanks to all of that that I have it.”
Their eyes met again, and he leaned closer to her, his face next to her ear.
“Yes, I have you now, so it’s ok.”
Then, he kissed her.
“Dainsleif, can I ask you something?”
This time, they were in Liyue, the blonde man having accepted once more to join her on a request that involved tracking traces from creatures coming from the abyss. Dainsleif was looking at the sea from what used to be one of the old spears of rock that once belonged to the geo Archon, his arms crossed on his chest, the same exact unreadable expression on his face. Not too long ago, she actually stood there next to this very same Archon now living under a human name among them. His face did not change as his gaze turned to land on her.
[b]“Go ahead.”
Despite being the one asking the question, she hesitated.
“How can someone lose all light from their eyes?”
If someone knew about that, it must be him. He fully turned towards her.
“You met someone like that?”
He asked that as a question, but something in his tone made her guess he already knew the answer, and the exact person she was suddenly so curious of. But she replied anyway.
“Yes.”
“The abyss does that.”
His reply came faster than she expected it. And it came out much simpler than she expected it to be.
“But then… How comes you haven’t lost it.”
He already went there, after all. He did not explicitly tell her about it, but she just knew. He was too knowledgeable about it.
“Because it didn’t take anything from me.”
Noticing her wide eyes, he decided to continue his explanation.
“The lack of light in one's eyes… It's a scar, left by the abyss. A proof that you gazed for too long in it that it successfully reaped something from you. Not your whole soul, not your whole heart, but something important enough that it left a mark.”
A proof that something was missing. She clenched her fist against her own dress.
“Thank you, Dainsleif.”
What was it, that Tartaglia was missing…?
If he never lost his light, they may have never met, it is true.
She looked at him in silence, and she couldn’t help that her sudden sadness was leaking through her golden eyes.
His hydro spear was buried deep inside the chest of a treasure hoarder. Even though the man was long dead, the harbinger pushed his weapon all the way in, making sure his latest victim’s inanimate body would bear an unerasable mark… A proof of his own involvement in his death. Hand holding tight the handle of his sharp weapon, he lazily put his foot on the cold body in front of him. Then he pulled out the weapon in a sinister crack - proof that the man’s rib cage had successfully been shattered in the movement.
He was smiling in a way she could only compare to a kid looking at all the sweets a candy store is selling.
It was rare to see him expressing such honest happiness in his eyes, as disturbing as it was. She shook her head, deciding it was not the right time for such thought. Her own blade stained red, she slowly approached him and as his eyes found hers, his smile softened.
When she arrived next to him, his gloved hand cupped her cheeks, leaving behind on her skin blood that did not belong to either of them.
After all these moments spent by his side, she thinks she finally understands what Dainsleif’s words really meant for him. She was going to keep this to herself, she decided. Maybe he already knew about it himself. And with the way he was looking at her right now, maybe he already knew that she knew.
She whines under him, as he stands closely above her. Not giving her any space nor time to breathe, it is like he is trying to devour her. And maybe that’s what he is really trying to do, pushing without any retenue his tongue inside her mouth. Rather than trying to explore her mouth, his tongue only looks for her own and she can’t keep up with him. As she stares into his dark blue eyes he has not bothered to close, it is like she finds herself drowning in that deep and endless ocean she is not even thinking of escaping. There is no need for her to struggle. Finally, he free her mouth, and they both breathe heavily against each other, their hands still intertwined together against the mattress of his bed. Surprisingly, his face seems even redder than hers. His tongue finds hers again, and she let him in once more. He looks like he wants to bite her lower lips, but decides against it. Her eyes opens once more, meeting his.
As their foreheads touch, she can feel him squeeze her hand.
“Tartaglia?”
His teeth are clenched, she can see it.
“Not enough…”
At that, her eyes soften. Because she can understand. Their hands separate and she cups his face, gently.
“It’s ok.”
She can swear the blue in his eye shine a bit brighter now, even in the dark of the room they are in.
“I love you.”
His face seems devoid of everything, but she knows his words are true. He leans down, taking his time to nuzzle against her skin, leaving trails of feather light kisses as he whispers sweet nothings meant only for her to hear.
Then he bites hard into her skin and she has to bite her own lip to avoid letting a scream escape from her throat. He tastes blood, as he kisses the skin he just hurt.
But that’s ok. Even as tears are threatening to fall from her eyes, she still tangles her fingers into his hair, hugging him even closer to her, as he waste no time in bucking his hips against her almost helplessly, seeking friction as one of his hands disappears between her legs.
That’s ok, because she knows that it is only through violence and pain that he is now able to truly feel anything… Devoting himself to the thrill and the physical feels of battle only to feel a tiny bit more alive, hoping to somehow claim back what he once lost.