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Meng Yao was not angry. In fact he made sure to mention this fact to Yanli at least 10 times in the few days since his and Zixuan's birthday. He understood, of course, the reason for her distress - she let Zixuan out of her sight for a few minutes too long and it created a 'diplomatic incident', in Wei Wuxian’s words. In short - it was awkward as hell for all people involved.
But all in all, Meng Yao was more amused than hurt by the whole situation. After all, there were worse things than getting a gym subscription as a birthday gift.
---
In Zixuan's defence, Meng Yao didn't even expect a birthday gift in the first place. He knew fully well he should be grateful for the fact he was part of Jin Zixuan’s grand yearly birthday party. Even since they renewed their connection and Yanli married into the family, the couple made sure to include him in the celebration, even if others refused to go along with it. Meng Yao couldn’t deny their invitation - the parties were lovely, thanks to Yanli’s meticulous planning, and there was always a chance for him to mingle and feel, for once, part of the family, even for just a few hours.
It was always, however, a little awkward to congratulate Jin Zixuan on his birthday while trying to ignore the elephant in the room that was their accidental joint birth. (None of them wanted to think about their father's sex life unless they truly had to). Usually, the half-siblings would laugh if off and change the subject, if anyone who didn’t know their father dared to question this fact. In an attempt to avoid disaster, every year Meng Yao would come to the dinner party with a good bottle of wine, nod politely at the people who remembered he was part of it as well, and would usually sneak home the moment he could. It was awkward, but manageable with a good few glasses of alcohol and a low-profile.
This year, the party had been going exceptionally well for Meng Yao - he had a few polite conversations with Zixuan’s colleagues and spent most of the party amusing Jin Ling, who was at the age to blurt out random sounds that almost sounded like words. He felt warm and pleased with himself, even when he noticed the glares some relatives gave him now and then.
And so, when Jin Zixuan cornered him at the end of the event and said he had a gift for him, Meng Yao was too shocked and flattered to realize it might cause even more awkwardness. He followed his half-brother into his office, a bit buzzed from the three glasses of champagne he downed earlier that evening, and looked around lazily as Zixuan closed the door behind them and fumbled a bit before pulling something out of his pocket.
The main mistake was that Meng Yao didn't brace himself, and accidently raised an eyebrow when Jin Zixuan presented him with his gift. But even a composed person like Meng Yao would be shocked when presented with a gift in the shape of a grey card bearing the writing 'Unclean Realm, gym, yoga & pool' in sharp letters.
"What is this," he said, only realizing he sounded unimpressed when the words left his mouth and he noticed Jin Zixuan's face dropping.
"Uh, it's… it's a gym subscription," Zixuan’s voice sounded a bit unsure and his hands fell to his side once he placed the card in Meng Yao's waiting hands. "Since the last time you visited, you told A-Li you wanted to work out more but didn't have time… And I know you like useful gifts. So I thought it might be… good."
His eyes were glued to the grey card in Meng Yao's hands, as if he didn't dare to look at his reaction. Meng Yao felt his mouth gaping open in shock.
The gesture was, at its heart, very charming. In his brain, Meng Yao checked all the criteria he would use when buying gifts; the price must have been fair, it was not something impersonal nor was it too grand, and the gift was even useful and would not accumulate dust. Jin Zixuan considered many aspects in his choice of gift and tailored it properly for its recipient's needs. Meng Yao was quite impressed at first; maybe his half-brother did learn something from him in the last few years. But although it was charming and smart, what this gift lacked was something very basic: it lacked human decency.
It wasn't the fact it came without any wrapping or birthday card (Meng Yao didn't expect Jin Zixuan to think about all the minor details). The problem was the hidden message; Giving a person a gym subscription for their birthday felt like the polite way to say "take care of yourself, you lazy bum", which was generally seen as extremely rude.
If it wasn’t happening in front of his eyes and Jin Zixuan didn’t look so serious, Meng Yao would think it was part of a big prank at his expanse. But now, reality was even more absurd. This was actually happening.
Meng Yao schooled his face, realizing his eyes were probably bulging in shock, and tried his best to look unfazed. He knew Zixuan was awkward, everyone knew this, but to give gym subscription as a birthday gift?! The lack of understanding of social cues was beyond Meng Yao's comprehension. He didn't believe what his eyes were seeing.
"Uh… A-Yao?" Zixuan muttered, and Meng Yao realized his half-brother's ears were a bit red. Oh, fuck, he was nervous to give him the gift. Meng Yao felt like he was about to freak out. This couldn’t be real.
"...Ge, this is very considerate, indeed," He finally croaked out, forcing a smile that hurt his cheeks.
Jin Zixuan was shifting on the soles of his feet a little, his eyes still stuck on the cursed card in Meng Yao's hands, but he perked up a little at his words. A small, pleased smile went up his lips and some tension seemed to escape his shoulders. "Yes, this is what I thought. I hope you'll use it."
Meng Yao wanted to slam his head against the wall. Instead, he simply gave a dimpled smile and a firm nod of his head. In his heart, he knew Jin Zixuan wasn't a mean person. He repeated this in his head again and again in an attempt to calm himself.
Jin Zixuan might have been cocky and rude, but it was never with malice, only due to his idiocy. The gesture in his gift for Meng Yao was genuinely kind-hearted and showed he put quite a lot of thought into it. The fact he was nervous about it was almost endearing, seeing he actually wanted to bring something that would make Meng Yao happy, a gift with significance. It wasn't his fault he didn't think about the hidden interpretations such a gift might bring to others' head, for him it was a straight-forward gesture of goodwill. Meng Yao couldn't bring himself to be angry with that.
"I didn't expect anything," He finally blurted out, a little shocked at himself for being so honest, but the smile Jin Zixuan gave as reply was so warm he couldn't regret it.
"Well, it's your birthday, too."
"Yes. Yes it is…"
There was a beat of silence as they both stared down at their hands, Meng Yao flipping the card and attempting not to scream. Something in his chest was shifting, changing, as he felt a wave of conflicting emotions that threatened to suffocate him. On one hand he wanted to get angry at Zixuan’s lack of understanding, feeling like he was being ridiculed. But on the other hand - there was nothing malicious about it. Jin Zixuan, in his awkward way, attempted to show him he cared, to make him happy. It was quite frustrating.
"...It's a 6-month subscription, but you can freeze it if you don't want to start it yet," Zixuan said after a few moments, gesturing at the card. "And they have a branch close to your apartment. My friend goes there and says it's very professional and well-maintained so I thought you'll like it... Ah, and this membership includes free entrance to the pool and yoga classes, too. Though I don't know if you like those… I just thought it'll be better if you have options."
He thought of everything. Every aspect of this gift showed an attempt to bring comfort to Meng Yao. Jin Zixuan might have been an idiot, but he was a thoughtful idiot, and the sudden realization of this made something warm fill Meng Yao's chest.
"...I see," Was all he could say as he attempted to ignore how his throat felt a bit tight. He nodded slowly, staring down at the card.
"If you don't like it, I can find another gym!" Zixuan suddenly blurted, red at the face again. "I mean, it doesn't have to be a gym! I just thought it'd be good. I'm sorry if it's not what you wanted."
"Ge, it's fine," Meng Yao stopped him quickly, feeling a smile stretching on his lips without any command to do so. Zixuan's fumbling was so worried, it was almost adorable, and Meng Yao felt a wave of fondness taking over him.
Maybe they still didn't understand each other and they would never be real brothers. But this attempt to care for Meng Yao, to truly consider what would be best for him, was something he never expected to receive from Jin Zixuan. Although everything, he was grateful.
Meng Yao gave his half-brother a smile and nodded, humming gently, "...It's a great gift. I'll try checking it out this week."
"Oh," Zixuan blinked, but then smiled a bit more confidently. "That's good, I'm glad. Tell me how you like it."
"I will," Meng Yao nodded again.
They were quiet for a few moments, simply smiling at each other a bit shyly, as if seeing the other's feelings for the very first time. Zixuan tried to busy his hands with his fancy shirt’s sleeves, and then tucked them in his pockets. Eventually, Meng Yao felt an amused smile tugging at his lips.
"...I do have to warn you, Ge… don't give other people this sort of gift if you don't want them to get the wrong idea...."
“Hm? Why?” Jin Zixuan furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, and Meng Yao felt a twitch of annoyance at his forehead.
This idiot...
***
"A-Yao, I swear, If I knew what he was planning-"
"Yanli-jie, this is fine-"
"Gym subscription! Does he have no tact at all!"
"It's not as bad as it sounds…"
Yanli sighed in frustration and crossed her arms, shaking her head. She knew her husband and should have seen it coming the moment Jin Zixuan said he will take care of his half-brother's birthday gift. No matter how good his intentions were, more often than not he would accidentally offend people in his attempts to show affection. The same thing happened for years when he tried courting her without voicing his feelings.
"This is why I’m in charge of gifts… I'm going to take you shopping as compensation," Yanli said firmly, and Meng Yao blurted a little laugh. "I don't need compensation, jie…! I liked the gift, I even went to the gym twice this week.!"
"Still, he shouldn’t do something like that without consoling me. What if you were offended?” Yanli sighed, turning to wash a few apples she arranged neatly in a bowl as they spoke.
“Well, I wasn’t. It’s a useful gift, and I do like the gym…” Meng Yao hummed, a tiny, sly smile stretching at his lips.
Yanli froze a bit when she noticed the smile in his voice and turned to face him, raising her eyebrow. "There's more to it, isn't there?"
"Hm, well~..." Meny Yao leaned back against Yanli’s kitchen island, turning his eyes to examine his nails. He batted his eyelashes for a moment, raising the suspense, then hummed in a low voice, "I did meet some of the gym workers..."
"Oh? Someone worthy of your attention?" Yanli smirked, a hint of red on her cheeks.
"Oh, jie, they're gods," Meng Yao sighed dramatically, batting his eyelashes, "A poor man like me, stuck between a flexible, tall yoga instructor and a hunk who fixes the gym's equipment… How can I ever go back to this awful place-!"
"I see how it is…" Yanli nodded gravely, a grin threatening to escape her lips as she rolled her eyes and turned back to the apples, "Don't tell A-Xuan you use his gift to find people to hook up with, he'd be horrified."
"And ruin our newly found brotherly bond? Never," Meng Yao hummed cynically, but his smile was genuine as he added, "...I really am thankful for him, though."
Since he was a teen, not many people considered his comfort or attempted to make him happy, especially if they had to go out of their way to do so. Meng Yao never expected Jin Zixuan of all people to do so. It was a pleasant surprise and Meng Yao was still a bit shocked by this shift in their relationship. He still doubted he could truly think of Jin Zixuan as his brother, but the distance between them was starting to shrink, little by little.
Yanli tilted her head back and smiled at him gently. "A-yao, you are family in his eyes. No matter how different you two are and how bad A-Xuan is with his words, he wants to make sure you know this. And I’m really glad you two are growing closer."
Meng Yao stared at her for a moment, then ducked his head away, his lips curling into a shy smile. Again his throat felt tight with fondness. Maybe he should start getting used to it.
"...Thank you. I cherish it," He said in a small voice, not daring to catch Yanli's eyes. He knew how she looked at those she considered her little brothers, and started recognizing this look on her face when she watched him lately. The warmth of it was a bit too intense for him at this moment.
Yanli chuckled softly and nodded, going back to her apples, "Good. Now, help me peel these, would you? I want to turn them into jam.”
"Yes, yes," Meng Yao said quickly, folding his shirt's sleeves to join her side. "But I must ask you to use less sugar in this batch. You see, I'm trying to get into shape…"
Yanli blurted out a short, surprised laugh. "You went to the gym twice! I will not allow my brunch partner to start getting annoyingly healthy!"
"Aiya, jie...."
"This is clearly a scheme to get into these instructors' pants. You aren't fooling me, A-yao! Now, please make sure you cut away all the ugly bits."
"Fine, fine…"
Meng Yao chuckled softly and glanced aside at Yanli as she started mixing spices and sugar in a bowl, humming to herself. The scent of cinnamon and fresh apples filled the kitchen, and he could vaguely hear Jin Ling in the other room, babbling happily and incoherently to his father, who had no idea he was the topic of conversation in the kitchen. It wasn’t what he dreamt of in his childhood, nor what his mother wanted for him, but for the first time in years, in the small kitchen of his half-brother and his wife, Meng Yao felt wanted.
Even if he was only a half-brother, a distant uncle, a friend, he knew deep in his heart he was inching closer everyday to his own family. His life was unexpected and bizarre, but this little haven of warmth was growing bigger every day. All he needed was a bit of patience, a sprinkle of honesty, and a big spoon of Yanli’s godly apple jam. Eventually, it would happen.