Chapter Text
"This is my fault. None of this would have happened if I just-.. If I didn't get so caught up in my own shit, if I just stayed on track,"
Five's entire body seemed to close in on itself, turned away so his face wasn't visible. It was almost uncanny just how old he looked in that moment. He didn't look like a man in his late fifties, more like he had been alive for far too long than what was allowed, old and timeless and worn down until he was nothing more than the husk of the little boy he appeared to be, hunched over and tensed up like a wounded dog. If One could see his face, he knew it would break his heart.
"You think this is all on you?"
Questioned One, edging nearer to the boy, his movements were soft and quiet as though Five would flee at any sudden movements,
"You think all of this, everything we did? Everything we worked on-"
"I was careless. I was supposed to protect my family. You-.."
Five let out a long sigh, one that seemed to start from deep inside of himself, his body deflating with the motion. He sat there for several minutes in silence, he was so tense it wasn't even clear if he was breathing anymore. One stepped forward to touch the boy until,
"Alright."
Five muttered.
One stood behind, watching him warily. His tone was flat, monotone and dead, like all the life had been sucked from him.
"Alright? What do you mean 'alright'?"
"I can fix this."
It was silent for a moment longer, One found himself leaning against the wall by Five, staring down at him. He wasn't entirely sure he'd heard him right or understood what he meant, waiting for him to speak again.
But he didn't, climbing to his feet wordlessly, his blazer folded and creased in on itself with the blood matted onto it. Five simply stretched and sighed once more, before making his way across the room and grabbing a pen, scribbling onto a notepad quickly.
One watched the scene before him, keeping quiet. He wasn't sure of what he should do, the change in Five's demeanour was jarring, as though he hadn't just been on the verge of a breakdown, as though he didn't just witness his worse fear.
"It would be impossible to erase this altogether, just attempting to do so could be disastrous, and not just for me. Not just for us,"
His hand never stopped moving, scribbling line after line, page after page. He didn't look entirely there, glassy-eyed and rigid as he stared down at the paper.
"Maybe you. The thing is, this isn’t the only reality, it's endless. I guess I understood that before but it's only now that I see the full scope of possibilities. If I could get us here purely by accident, if I could get him... No, God but that isn't right. It wouldn't be the same. It isn't the same at all. It’s too insane to imagine there’s any continuity between the reality you and I experience, and yet...."
His rambling was growing more rapid by the second, barely stopping to take a breath as he spoke, still writing. One didn't understand a word he was saying, but the way he spoke sent chills throughout him. He stepped forward, reaching a hand out to touch his shoulder but Five was quick, spinning around to face him with the notes clutched in his trembling hands. The look on his face made One nauseous, manic yet dead. His eyes were large and dark and seemed to scream at One to look away. But he didn't, keeping his eyes focused on the boy's.
"Five, I need you to calm down."
Five barked out a hysterical laugh, bitter and cold.
"Calm down!? Calm-"
He scratched the back of his neck, his movements stiff and quick,
"I've been so stupid. Reckless, you'd think I'd learn by now, wouldn't you?"
His eyes bored into One's, as though trying to pry the answer to solve all of his problems out of him, everything about him in that moment screamed desperation. One didn't respond, he only stared at him blankly. Five sighed again, this time it was shaky.
"I'd be an idiot if I thought it was that simple, to just jump back and forth whenever it suited me, whenever I didn't deem the situation as right or fair. The rest of the world-.. You know, the old man used to always say time travel would mess with my mind and I guess he was right. I'm fucked, utterly fucked. And you know what the problem is, Six? Do you want to know the truth about all this, the real bombshell?"
"...Six...? Five, please-"
"I don't give a shit,"
Five finished, his breathing shallow as he stared back at One,
"All I ever wanted was to protect them and I couldn't even do that! So what does it matter if I screw with a million timelines? If I hurt or get hurt in the process doesn't really matter, so long as they're safe. I couldn't- Fuck. Jesus Christ."
One's tone was calm, trying his best to remain composed as Five crumpled before him.
"They're gone, Five. I'm sorry but they are,"
He looked away from Five as he spoke, he felt guilty in his presence, especially since it was his people who had taken them from him,
"And I know how much that hurts. I know it's killing you to be so powerless but that's it. It's over."
When Five didn't respond, he found himself stuck for words. Standing awkwardly in front of him as he tried his best to summon anything that could make his words be heard. He was well aware that he couldn't make it hurt any less, that wasn't his intention. He just wanted Five to stop long enough so that he wouldn't hurt himself.
"I don't understand your abilities. I mean, I do to an extent but my idea is probably just some Star Trek bullshit,"
He laughed softly to attempt to diffuse the tension, Five only stared blankly,
"Maybe you can save them, but not right now. You're in shock, you're injured. You're not going to get anywhere in the state that you're in."
At least Five was quiet now, or maybe that scared One more. He wasn't entirely sure of what was worse. He took a couple of steps back to give him space, as though he were a frightened animal.
"You wish I was your brother, don't you?"
One chuckled softly, looking down at the floor,
"I can see it, you know. The way you talk to me, the way you treat me. And even from the start, you seemed to have a need to.. Protect me?"
Five looked away, staring blankly out of the window. One spoke again,
"That's what you were talking about, right? You lost him and tried to find him in me. Even if you did go back and try to find your family again, it isn't the same. And I know you're terrified of being alone again..."
One sighed, shaking his head. He knew that was the understatement of the century,
"But you're not alone. I'm not telling you to give up, what I'm saying is that.. Even if you fail, it's not the end of the world."
Five seemed to tense at the phrase, eyes hardening. At least he was listening, thought One.
"You're right."
Muttered Five, quiet and void of feeling.
One let out a small sigh of relief, stepping forward. He found himself glad that even his clumsy reassurance could get to the boy. One stepped forward to look into the boy's eyes, but stopped in his tracks at the look on his face. Five stared straight past him, looking more dead than he'd ever seen him.
"It's not,"
Five retorted coldly, before turning and blinking away before One could react, Leaving him alone in the empty room.