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It’s the last night before they return to Eiselcross, and Jester knows that she should be sleeping. She doubts that tomorrow is the day that they end up fighting Lucien, because after scrying on the Tomb Takers she had found that they’re still trekking through the snow, so if they have the threshold crest, it’ll at least take them one or two more days until they make it to the ruins.
It’s the reason they have decided to stay in Nicodranas for one more night, and the reason Jester hasn’t quite told her mother what they’re up to. Marion has always been good at seeing right through her, even if she doesn’t always say that she can. She trusts Jester to figure things out herself most of the time, and Jester’s grateful for that, mainly because the thought of having to tell her mother that there’s a very real chance that she’s not going to come home, breaks her heart.
She sits on the bannister out on the balcony, legs dangling over the edge, when the knock on her door comes. At first, she thinks it’s her mother, who somehow figured out that Jester is having trouble sleeping. Then she thinks it must be Fjord, but Jester remembers passing the room he’s sharing with Caduceus earlier and hearing them both snore. Then she realizes that only one person is up this late besides her, and she swings her legs over the bannister, feet barely touching the ground before she’s on her way to cross the room.
“Caleb,” She knows it’s him before the door is fully open, the dim light from the corridor illuminating his figure, the sleeves of his shirt rolled up and his hair pulled up into a loose ponytail.
It’s gotten long again, she thinks, but it looks good.
Jester remembers the first time she met him, all disheveled, hair falling in his face, and that first time she braided it, small braids sticking into all directions. She smiles at the memory as she steps aside to let him in. “Can’t sleep?”
The answer to the question is obvious, and yet Jester asks anyway as she closes the door and watches as Caleb steps into the room. “Ja...too many things on my mind,” There’s the hint of a smile, but it’s sad somehow, like he’s been thinking about what’s going to happen as much as she has.
Of course he has.
“I don’t want to disturb you for long,” Caleb continues and it’s only now that Jester notices the book he’s carrying. For a moment she thinks it’s his spell book, but that’s in the holster he’s wearing, like it always is.
“You’re not...” She begins, but he holds the book out to her, and Jester’s eyes fall on the cover. Zemnian Fairytales, it reads and her heart misses a beat. “For me?” Her voice is quiet as she runs her hand over the cover for a moment, the gold and red illustration instantly catching her eye.
“It’s in Common. I figured you’d want a chance to actually read it by yourself.” He smiles that smile again, “And there’s more than just the one in there. Fair warning though, they’re not all as happy as Der Katzenprinz, but most of them have what you consider a happy ending,”
Jester almost opens the book, but the smile that has begun forming on her lips freezes as she stops in her tracks. Her stomach drops as a thought settles in her mind, and when she looks up at Caleb, he’s looking back at her with an almost somber expression on his face.
“This is...you’re...you’re saying goodbye.” Her voice almost cracks as she clutches the book in her hands, shaking her head. “No. No. We’re going to be fine.” She knows she’s losing the battle with herself, her stomach twisting as her mask threatens to slip. It’s a reflex, trying to hold it in place, but if there’s anyone who’s always been able to see right through her it’s Caleb.
“I’m just...” He trails off for a moment, sighing. “This is big, Jester, bigger than all of us, and neither of us know what’s going to happen.” He steps a little closer and then his hand is resting against her cheek, tilting her head upwards just a little. “We didn’t get to say goodbye to Molly, and I don’t want history to repeat itself,”
“I can bring you back!” She exclaims almost instantly, knowing that she sounds like a little kid, who’s lost an argument, but is still insisting that they’re right. “Caduceus can bring you back, no one’s dying, Caleb!”
They both know there’s a good chance this isn’t true. They had barely escaped by the skin of their teeth the last time, and this time around there’s no running, not if what they’re truly trying to do is stop Lucien and the Tomb Takers from bringing the city back.
“Statistically speaking I’m the most likely to go down, even more so if we won’t be able to stop Lucien from using his anti-magic field.” Caleb speaks again, bringing her back from her thoughts and she looks up at him, her vision slightly blurry. “And...I just...I want to be remembered for more than my mistakes. I want...Caleb Widogast to be remembered.” There’s the hint of a smile again, like he’s carefully thought this through, and nothing she can say will change his mind. “And I trust no one but you to tell my story, Jester Lavorre.”
She launches forward at his words, arms wrapping around him tightly, like she’s never going to let go. Jester wants to yell, but her throat closes up when his arms wrap around her just the same.
We’re going to be fine. We have to be fine. She thinks, but the words won’t come out, so instead she buries her face against his chest for as long as she can, thinking that nothing’s going to happen as long as she doesn’t let go. There’s so many things she wants to say, like how she’s not ready to lose him, or how she doesn’t want to read these fairytales if he’s not there, but deep down she knows that none of these things will make a difference.
When Caleb pulls back, she feels his lips press against her forehead for a moment, and Jester reluctantly lets go, watching as he mumbles something and takes a step back.
It takes her a moment to notice, but when she looks around there’s amber colored figured floating about the room. There’s hamster unicorns dancing about, and Jester catches sight of Caleb and her, stumbling about more than dancing in Hupperdook. There’s a scene she remembers well, two bats flapping their wings at each other, replaced by Jester hugging him for the first time. She watches an amber colored version of herself take his hand the first time they set foot into Rexxentrum and the two of them on the couch, the fairytale book open in Caleb’s lap.
“This will stay the night,” His voice is quiet as he speaks, and Jester watches herself trying to tug on the chair Essek had magically placed in the air and continues to watch as the scene gets replaced by Frumpkin making biscuits in her clothing one early morning.
Caleb, can I keep Frumpkin forever? She hears herself say, and when Jester turns her head, Caleb is gone, the door falling shut behind him.
Jester fights the urge to go after him, because what would she even say? So she stands, watching Frumpkin turn into a butterfly whose wings can only be identified as flapping balls on a second glance. She laughs, and for a moment she thinks that things are going to be okay, that she’s fine, and then she glances down at the book that she’s still holding.
“Caleb,” She whispers, her voice breaking just a little as she watches tears fall down, staining the beautiful cover and Jester falls to her knees. A sob escapes her chest as she clutches the book close to herself like a lifeline, as if she’s afraid she’s going to get swept away if she doesn’t.
“Caleb...” She finds herself curling up on the floor, catching amber colored figures dancing and sees herself grabbing his hands, holding on, and when Jester finally forces her eyes shut, she thinks that she never quite truly knew what a broken heart felt like until now.