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TRIGGER WARNING OF GENDER DYSPHORIA AND ACE BINDING DO NOT READ IF TRIGGERED EASILY BY ABOVE MENTIONED TRIGGERS
Dolls had been through many changes in his life.
First he had to deal with being half dragon.
Then he realized he was a transgender man and that led to more changes to his body, these changes however we more welcomed. Much more welcomed.
Dolls sipped his coffee as he watched Waverly and Wynonna argue about something.
“Rainbow sprinkles make everything better, okay? I don’t know much, but I do know that.” Wynonna crossed her arms over her chest and looked at her sister.
Waverly rolled her eyes. “Whatever. If you want a rainbow sprinkled donut so bad, you can walk your happy ass down to Rosie’s.”
“I wouldn’t have to if somebody hadn’t eaten the last rainbow sprinkles donut.” Wynonna shouted.
Dolls looked over to where Nic and Jeremy were sitting. Jeremy was doing some sort of science thing and Nic was unsuccessfully trying to hide their laughter.
“Jesus. For the last time Wynonna, I didn’t eat the damn donut.” Waverly said as she gathered some of the files on the desk.
“For shit’s sake! Who was it then?” Wynonna threw her hands in the air.
At that moment, a knock came at the door. Dolls set his coffee mug down.
“Enter.” he said.
The door cracked open and Lonnie poked his head in. He had a very noticeable amount of rainbow sprinkles at the corner of his mouth. Dolls saw Wynonna’s eyes narrow.
“What is it Officer Lonnie?” Dolls asked quickly.
“Package for you sir.”
Dolls walked over and took the small box from the taller man’s hands. “Thank you. You are dismissed.”
Lonnie nodded awkwardly. “Cool. Okay. Bye then.” He quickly shut the door as he caught Wynonna’s fiery gaze.
“That weasel!” Wynonna said.
Nic couldn’t hold back their laughter and began to laugh loudly. Jeremy had a smirk and Waverly giggled softly. Nic continued to laugh at Wynonna’s glare.
However, the laughing fit was cut short when Nic suddenly grabbed their right side and gasped in pain.
Waverly quickly sobered up and rushed over to her partner. “Baby? What is it?”
Nic waved their concerned girlfriend off. Their face still in a grimace of pain. “It’s nothing love.”
Waverly crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. “It doesn’t look like nothing Nic Haught.”
Nic avoided eye contact as they stood. “It’s nothing really. Side stitch. Honest. I’m going to go get some water.” Nic walked out of the room as Waverly’s worried gaze followed them.
“I should-” Waverly began.
“Let me.” Dolls finished.
Waverly smiled at him softly. Earlier that week when Dolls had been invited to the Homestead for dinner, Dolls had pulled Waverly into Wynonna’s empty room and told her that if she had any question that she didn’t want to ask Nic, that he was always available. Waverly had of course been confused, but Dolls quickly, but efficiently explained how he was a transgender man. Waverly had hugged him and thanked him for telling her.
On his way out, Waverly mouthed a quick ‘thank you’ to him. Dolls nodded once in return.
He made his way to the bathrooms and when he found the family bathroom closed, he knocked. “Nic? It’s Dolls. Can I come in?”
A moment passed before Dolls heard the click of the lock. Nic opened the door a crack. Dolls took that as an invitation and pushed the door open. He saw Nic leaning on the sink, facing the mirror. They had unbuttoned their uniform shirt and seemed to be struggling to catch their breath.
Dolls leaned his back against the door in order to give Nic some space. “Is everything okay?”
Nic inhaled shakily. “Honestly, not really.”
“What’s going on?”
Nic rolled their neck. “Well. I thought today would be a good day, so I decided to wash my binder.”
Dolls nodded. “Let me guess. Today wasn’t good.”
Nic chuckled dryly. “Ding ding.”
“I know I promised Waverly, but I couldn’t breathe and I just needed something.” Nic sighed.
“Ace bandage?” Dolls asked.
Nic sighed again, but eventually nodded. “Yeah.”
“Ribs?”
“Yup.”
“Ace bandages aren’t good for you Nic. You know that.”
“I know Dolls. But the sports bra wasn’t enough and I just couldn’t.” Nic sniffed.
Dolls sighed. “I get that. Trust me I do. But next time, just tell me. I told you I have a binder at my place. I can go get it, but you have to promise me that you’ll take the bandage off.”
“I-I-”
“Cole.”
“I can’t. Everytime I go to take it off, my hands shake and my breath gets stuck and I, I, I just can’t.”
Dolls stayed silent for a minute. “Can I go get Waverly?”
“I- yeah.”
Dolls left the small bathroom and made his way back to Black Badge. Luckily, Wynonna was nowhere to be seen and Jeremy was focused on his work.
“Waverly.”
Waverly’s head snapped up and she grew concerned when she didn’t see Nic with Dolls. She stood quickly and made her way over to the door.
“Where’s Nic? Are they okay?” Waverly asked quietly.
“They’re in the bathroom. I’m going to run to my house and grab my binder.”
“Why? Isn’t Nic already wearing theirs?” Waverly’s eyebrows furrowed.
“They aren’t.”
“But-”
“It was a bad morning apparently. They did what they needed to. Don’t get mad. It’s what they needed.” Dolls interrupted.
Waverly took a deep breath. “I’m not mad, just worried.”
“Okay. They’re in the family bathroom. I’m going to get that binder, I’ll be back.”
“Okay. Thank you Dolls. For everything.” Waverly smiled warmly as the pair went opposite ways.
Dolls smiled in return. “It’s nothing Waves. I know how it feels. I want to do what I can to help.”
Dolls grabbed his keys and walked out the door as Waverly made her way to the bathroom.
======
“Nic? Babe? Can I come in?” Waverly asked hesitantly at the door.
“Y-yeah.”
“Okay. Coming in.” Waverly pushed open the door.
Nic stood with their back to the door. Waverly could see her partner’s hands shaking.
“Nic? Baby?” Waverly shut the door behind her. “What can I do to help?”
“I um uh I need help uh getting this, getting this thing off.” Nic’s voice wavered.
Waverly nodded. “Okay.” But she made no move until Nic took a deep breath and turned to face Waverly.
Their shirt was unbuttoned and the ace bandage was tied tightly around Nic's chest. The skin around the edges of the bandages was rubbed raw.
Waverly extended her hands, but paused when Nic flinched back. Waverly paused.
“May I?” Waverly asked quietly, before continuing.
Nic swallowed loudly and nodded.
Waverly untied the knot and slowly and carefully began to unravel the bandage from around Nic’s chest. Nic’s breathing got more and more erratic. Waverly stood on her tip toes, careful to avoid any contact with their chest.
After a minute of unwinding, Waverly rolled the bandage into a roll and stuck it in her back pocket. She quickly and efficiently buttoned up Nic’s uniform shirt. Soon after they had come out, Nic started wearing the ‘male’ labeled uniform shirts. The looseness of the shirt gave them room to breathe and made it so they didn’t have the need to bind everyday.
Waverly grabbed Nic’s hands in her own and kissed them gently. “I love you Nic Haught.” she said softly into the small space.
Nic let out a shuddering breath into their girlfriends shoulder.
“I’m sorry.” They whispered quietly. “I know I promised-”
Waverly pulled back so she could look into her partner’s eyes. “Baby. No. I’m sorry. I should have noticed how uncomfortable you were today. I wish I could have been there to help you. I’m so sorry you feel like this.”
Nic sniffed again. “I guess we need another sorry party then huh?”
Waverly chuckled softly. “I’ll make some more hats.”
A moment passed where the only noise in the small bathroom was the sound of inhales and exhales.
“I love you so much Nic Haught.” Waverly whispered into the silence.
“And I you Waverly Earp.”
===
“Whatcha got there?”
Dolls froze momentarily when he heard Wynonna behind him. “None of your business Earp.” he said as he climbed into his car. He started the engine and proceeded to sigh when he heard the passenger door open.
“Why are you here? Thought today was a research day.” Wynonna asked.
“If it is, why are you here?”
“Doughnut run. Then the truck wouldn’t start.”
“Hmm.” Dolls began to make his way back to the station.
Wynonna saw that Dolls wasn’t in a talking mood and began to play games on her phone. She quickly lost interest and began snooping around Doll’s car.
“Hey.” Wynonna snatched a piece of stretchy tan fabric from Doll’s lap. “Isn’t this one of Haughtie’s binding contraptions?”
Without taking his eyes off the road, Dolls blindly reached up and ripped the binder from Wynonna’s grasp. “No. It’s mine.”
Wynonna looked at Dolls quizzically as she tried to understand what he was trying to say. “But you don’t have boobs.” Wynonna stated slowly.
Dolls was tiring from this conversation already. “Not anymore I don’t.”
“Wait. You had boobs?”
Dolls sighed. “Yes. I’m transgender Wynonna. And to be frank, I'm surprised you haven’t said anything before. I mean you’ve seen me with my shirt off.”
Wynonna’s eyebrows furrowed. “I thought those scars were from knives and stuff.”
“Technically a scalpel is a knife.”
Wynonna was still slightly confused. “Wait, so you had tits and then you got rid of them? Like with a knife?”
“With surgery Earp.”
“Ohhh. That makes more sense. Wait do you have different pronouns? Like Haught? Have we been saying the wrong things?”
Dolls smiled slightly. “No. You guys are perfectly fine. I am a female to male transgender person. Meaning I use he/him and live as a man, because that is what I am.”
Wynonna nodded in understanding. “Okay.”
Another moment of silence passed as Dolls continued driving.
“Isn’t Haught already wearing one of these?” Wynonna asked curiously.
Dolls hesitated. “Well, kinda.”
“Kinda?”
“Nic does typically wear a binder like the one you found. But, binders gotta be washed and sometimes the days you need to wash them doesn’t turn out to be a good day. Some people turn to other things to bind.”
Wynonna, to her credit, caught on to what Dolls wasn’t saying. Plus with the small amount of research she had done after her best friend had come out (not that anyone knew she had done research) she understood.
“Well.” Wynonna said.
The rest of the car ride was in silence.
——-
When a knock came at the door, Waverly had just got Nic’s breath to calm. However when then quiet was interrupted, the redhead’s breath sped up again.
“May I enter?” Dolls’ voice was low and deep.
At the sound of the agent’s voice Nic relaxed once again. They nodded at Waverly’s look.
“Come in Dolls.”
The knob turned and Dolls head peeked in. “I brought my binder.” As he stepped in and closed the door behind him, he pulled the piece of clothing out of a bag and Nic felt another part of their body relax.
“Thank you Dolls. You’re a life saver.” They said.
“Don’t mention it. I know how it feels. I’m just glad I can help.” He handed the binder to the redhead. “Also Wynonna knows now.”
Waverly’s looked at the man confused. “Knows what?”
“That I’m transgender.”
“Oh. Okay. Are you alright?” The petite brunette asked.
Dolls considered. “I’m alright. It was going to have to happen at some point.”
Waverly nodded. “She take it well? Cause if not I can knock her around a bit.”
Dolls chuckled at the thought of the two sisters fighting. “She is great. Took her a minute to actually figure it out, but after that it was fine.”
Waverly nodded again. “Good.” She turned towards her partner. “You want so privacy love?”
Nic swallowed. Sometimes their dysphoria got so bad that they couldn’t stand to even be shirtless in front of Waverly. “Please.”
“Okay. I’ll be outside.”
Waverly and Dolls both stepped out and Waverly closed the door behind them.
The pair stood in silence for a moment.
“Thank you Dolls.” Waverly said breaking the quiet.
“It’s all good. I’m glad to help.” He returned. He turned to head back to the office.
Waverly stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his waist for a few seconds, knowing the agent didn’t particularly care for hugs.
Dolls looked down at the slim hands at his rib cage. He smiled slightly and patted them once.
Waverly let him go and stepped back. Dolls continued on his way back to work.
——
Nic stared at themself in the mirror and repeated statements to themself.
“I am me.
Me is handsome.
Me is strong.”
Nic took a deep breath. The statements sounded kinda dumb, but they helped in little bits.
Finally they turned back to the door and opened it.
Waverly, true to her word, was standing opposite the door looking at her phone. She looked up and smiled when she saw the redhead.
“Hiya handsome. Feeling a little better?”
Nic took a deep breath. “Much.”
Waverly crossed the distance between them and pressed a soft kiss to her partner’s lips. “Good. I’m glad.”
Nic smiled in return. “Yeah.”
“Ready to get back to work?”
“Let’s hit it.”
Hand in hand, the couple walked back to the Black Badge room to take down whatever current nasty was haunting the people of Purgatory