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It had been two months since Cassian had left for the Illyrian Mountains. Two months since she had seen him, felt him, touched him. She blamed herself for becoming so dependent on his presence, his affection. There had been a time when she could barely look at him, let alone tolerate him. Now she couldn’t imagine being so far away from him for such a long while. Their last encounter hadn’t been ideal: she tried to convince him to bring her along but he wouldn’t listen to her, he wouldn’t dare risk her to danger. In the past, he would’ve been right. She’d been a weak, wretched girl. But those days were far behind. She was strong now, she could fight. She could be lethal. And he knew that, since he’d trained her himself. He’d seen the silver fire in her eyes, the same one running through her veins.
But she couldn’t blame him, after all. She knew how hard the current situation at the Mountains was, how hard Cassian and Rhysand had worked to make sure rules were followed, to right the wrongs. She understood why he didn’t want her there still. She’d feel the same if she were him. Even now she had a hard time stomaching the knowledge of how much danger Cassian exposed himself to.
This had been the first time they’d been apart for so long ever since they started… acquainting with each other. She liked to convince herself it was nothing. That even before everything that had happened between them, she’d already possessed feelings for the Commander, liked it or not. She’d been attracted to him like a magnet from the very first time he’d seen him at her family’s estate. He’d held her stare, touched her, promised her the world in his eyes.
No matter how much she tried to distract herself, with babysitting, with reading, with visits to her family… She couldn’t ease her loneliness. She felt like part of her was away with Cassian, waiting to join the rest of her at his return. Gods, she missed him.
It was then that she felt a slight breeze caress her skin. And then his scent hit her. That sweet, earthy musk that drove her crazy.
Her eyes sparkled but she tried to mask it by provoking him. “You reek,” she said before he even set foot in the room. He landed on the bedroom's balcony, flapping his wings closed. Cassian approached her, getting close enough to count the freckles on her face, the ones he described as speckles of gold. He brushed his lips against her temple. The simple contact sending chills down her back. She hadn’t been touched by him for too long. Been apart from him for too long.
“I missed you too, sweetheart.” She saw him stride into the bathing chamber and close the door.
When he emerged, Nesta was laying sideways on the bed, waiting for him. She sat up and Cassian imitated her. He lifted her and set her on his lap as Nesta put her delicate hands on his broad shoulders and looked into his eyes, his stare finding hers, no words needed.
He then drew her to him and tucked her into his chest, his thundering heart beating loud enough for her to hear, to feel. They stayed like that for a while, and when they pulled apart, he saw tears falling down Nesta’s cheeks, her eyes glimmering with unwavering emotion. He dried each drop with his thumb, stroking her face softly. And Nesta leaned into that touch. Cassian’s answer was to lift her chin and meet her lips with his. The kiss was soft, sweet. Like coming home from a long day of work.
Nesta angled her head and his mouth followed the curve of her cheek, then her neck. She sighed with her eyes closed and pressed a hand to his chest, pushing him a few inches back.
“What is it?” He asked with concern shining in his eyes.
“I just… Can we just lay down together?”
“You wanna cuddle?”
The smallest dip of her chin told him what he needed to know. He quirked up his lips in that smile that he only reserved for her. Cassian took her hand and guided her further into the bed. As she lay down, he put an arm under her head, one over her waist, and draped his wings over both of them, enveloping them in its warmth, like a cocoon. Nesta nestled her face into his neck and her satisfied purr made known to him that she was comfortable and cozy.
He whispered into her ear, “Do you know how many times I’ve thought of this, of coming home to you? Do you have any idea how bad I wanted to drop everything and get here to be with you?”
She hummed. “I haven’t thought of you at all. Didn’t even notice you weren’t here.”
“Liar.” He started tickling her as she laughed and shrieked, until she almost kicked him in the most sensitive parts.
To get back at him, she dragged a finger down his wing, and felt him shiver. “I missed you more than my pride is capable of allowing me to admit.”
After a long pause, she said, “How are things up there?”
“Nes…”
“Tell me. I want to know.”
“Not good. We went to the other camps,” she heard him swallow. “It’s disastrous. A pity, really.”
Nesta looked up at him. “It will get better. We will make it better.” The determination in her eyes promised a storm.
He sighed. “How’s everyone?”
Nesta beamed. “The baby started sitting up on his own.”
Cassian returned her smile. “That’s awesome, I’m proud of the little champ. I’ll congratulate Rhys and Feyre when I see them.”
At Nesta’s intense stare, she asked, “what?” When she only continued looking at him like that, he took the hint. “You want one of those? With me?”
“Who else?”
“Now?” His eyes widened.
She smacked his shoulder. “Of course not. Just… one day. If you’d like.”
“I’d be delighted,” he grinned.
They remained silent for a while, enjoying each other’s company. If anything, those two months spent apart had strengthened their bond. They’d been through a lot to be now so at ease with one another; nothing compared to the joy they felt when they were together.
Cassian kissed the top of her head. “I’m home now.” And though he didn’t say, Nesta knew his home was her. Nothing meant more than those three simple words. To Nesta, they were the whole world.