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“Hey…”
A blurry haze passed and stirred up the peaceful silence. What familiarity – the sound of that voice in his ear. It was as loud as bombs. It created a throbbing pattern from seemingly nothing as its noise moved everywhere all at once.
“…Hey?”
Again, that man called out to him and at last, Simon shifted. Was it really necessary for him to speak so early? It must have surely been in the hours before dawn if Simon was hearing correctly… and feeling that body pressed up against him. The scents and sensations left no room to deny. The arms of his visitor adjusted slightly and gained range to their embrace. He ignored it for the most part. If he laid still long enough, the vocal chatter along his lobe might cease and perhaps then, they would both drift back into the warmth of oblivious slumber.
“It started to rain outside,” they whispered.
No, apparently falling back asleep wasn’t going to happen this time.
Simon’s only response was a throaty groan. It was all he could muster. All he wanted to anyway.
“Are you awake?”
The young man produced a sigh upon registering the question. Ultimately, he struggled to turn his torso while remaining in that embrace and glanced over his shoulder. It was hard to crack his tired eyelids open, but Simon made the effort. He knew if David was in his bed, then there were no horrific consequences threatening his mind. There were no conditions or risks; probably because of the earliness of the hour. Maybe part of it was due to the rain he could finally hear trickling against the rooftops of the hospital from overhanging oak leaves. It could have even been in that faint whisper of cool breezes that soothed him, the serenity of a rotating ceiling fan, or the foggy glass panes muffling unorganized pre-songs of flocking wildbirds just outside.
Simon’s broad pupils came into focus. No, there were no bloodstained relics of his past awaiting his gaze with haunted intensions. It was just this annoying son of a bitch who took the liberty of crawling into the second story window of the facility – for about the eighth time – to slip beneath the covers and yammer on and on until they were both unconscious. It wasn’t until recently that the stubborn bastard started getting comfortable, though he always maintained a thoughtfulness to talk soft and respectfully avoided putting a hand near Simon’s legs.
For the most part, Simon didn’t really mind any of this. It was a tad entertaining. The rest was genuine curiosity. He was focused primarily on gaining some well-deserved rest most visits, regardless of how long David invited himself in. Yet, he knew the nurses as well as Doctor Purnell would be anticipating scheduled appointments in the near future, as they did every single day.
Nevertheless, Simon understood that there was something special when it came to this proximity. He only shared it with David. This kind of hold wasn’t something a stranger or even a therapist could provide, metaphorical or otherwise (and none the kind he would willingly receive from his excessively kind mother either). They tried affectionate approaches, but to think such an oddly blissful sensation was coming from him of all damned people…
It didn’t make a lot of sense and yet here David was with his chest coiled over the wrinkled sheets, close enough not to miss and just the right distance away that made Simon wonder how much closer they were able to become.
Simon always gave up the fight to push David away. Lack of desire to start a conflict was definitely a big motivator. On account of keeping their private meetings secret, for whatever reason, he contributed to hiding it from those who shouldn’t be allowed to know. Simon was avoiding the talks. Pointed fingers of accusation. The inevitable potential of diving into deeper, more painful discussions. All of that. What good would it be doing him? David kept out of the way as it were.
David himself never showed an ounce of antagonism towards him. Not once. Without the input of professionals, that seemed progressive. For the time being, it was kindof nice.
Simon’s gaze aligned with that of cedar brown irises peeking down at him through their dark lashes. In the dim colourless light of the room, they managed to hold their line of sight despite the obvious lethargy still gripping them both.
Simon wasn’t sure why, but he was content in that moment. Why, he wondered? “Yeah,” his scruffy voice grumbled in response. “I’m awake now.”
There was a faint pause between the men. Through those seconds as they accumulated to minutes, it was only the two of them, and impossibly they both wished it truly was only the two of them.
“…You’re going to have to leave soon, aren’t you?”
David’s arms trembled as they attempted to stretch without releasing the body they clung to. His jaw cracked with the gesture of motion and he began to yawn. “Yeah… I’d better be careful this time. Don’t wanna slip. Would suck if I got caught with my ass up in the air.”
Simon nodded lightly. He found himself relaxed with the heat of passive breath moving over his face coming from just above his scalp: a practical invitation to discount reality in exchange for those repetitious normalcies.
“Just stay here then. For a little bit longer.”
“Huh?” David squinted before sending his eyes sidelong at the dark cloudy weather beyond. It wouldn’t be long before conditions worsened. “Are you sure? What about inspections? They’ll-”
“They won’t,” Simon assured, quick and strong. “You’ll be fine. Besides, staff is slower on rainy days like these I noticed.”
David puzzled at the response he was met with. It wasn’t typical of Simon to agree on letting him stay here in the first place without a few minor transgressions, let alone refraining from the reluctance to spend that time alone with the individual who almost ruined his life beyond repair. Simon wasn’t just tolerating David this morning. It sounded like he was actually welcoming him. His proposal to let David remain certainly didn’t portray any worry.
“I guess you already know that’s what I’d like to do,” the older man tried to explain. His untamed facial hairs rubbed over the top of Simon’s head. “But I didn’t come here to get you into trouble. The last thing you need is your recovery team believing you’re ‘willingly hindering your progress’ by seeing me.”
“David.”
The calling of the name brought an intense silence back into the room. Yes, it was true that staff would find out about this if they got overconfident in hiding. It wasn’t meant to last this long to begin with and the medics were bound to discover this eventually.
In spite of literally all those things, including every sense that screamed to oppose, Simon clutched at David’s wrist, cushioned by a worn sweater sleeve. He then brought the man’s fist to nestle loosely over his chest. It was but a touch away from revealing the frantic beating of Simon’s heart. He hoped David wouldn’t notice. With sluggish fingertips, Simon touched the exposed skin, bruised knuckle and scarred flesh. He shut his eyes once more. This time, he refused to look back over his shoulder.
“Stay.”
Stay, he said. Low and demanding. Simon’s request was faint, as though his plea would break him to pieces if it were said too loudly. But he meant it, and David heard it clearly.
And so he stayed.