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That morning Ranboo had been in Europe with Tubbo. He’d been high energy and grinning. Now, he was in America — in the passenger seat of his mom’s car with the exhaustion of a week long meetup hitting him.
“So, how was your trip?” His mom asked, her eyes on the road. Ranboo shrugged.
“Good,” he said. He tried his best not to think about what had happened in his and Tubbo’s last moments alone. “It went really, really good.”
His mom kept talking. Ranboo responded automatically. He told her about the streams he and Tubbo did and how they’d marathoned TV shows together. He told her that they’d gone shopping and spent way more money than either of them had planned.
He did not tell her about how Tubbo had held his hand on his first day in the UK. He’d been half asleep on the floor and Tubbo had laced their fingers together like it was nothing.
They stayed like that for a bit, both waiting for the other to pull away first. Ranboo remembered how fast his mind had been racing, desperately trying to think of something to say. He had been about to stutter something out when Tubbo broke the silence for him.
“Your hands are sweaty, big guy.”
“Yeah, um, they are.” Ranboo pulled away, embarrassed, and wiped his palm on his jeans. “Sorry.”
Tubbo had just smiled, wiping his hand as well. He was looking down at Ranboo from where he sat: on the floor, but sitting instead of laying.
“It’s all good. I’ll just have to fully cuddle you instead.”
Tubbo’s tone was joking, but Ranboo’s heart skipped a beat. Both laughed. Tubbo’s shoulders shook and Ranboo hid his face with his hands.
He definitely did not tell his mom about how things had only escalated after that.
Ranboo crawled into bed as soon as he got home. He curled up under his comforter, his phone screen illuminating his face.
His last few messages with Tubbo stared him down.
Ranboo
have arrived
Tubbo
FUCK YEA
i’m waiting for you
They were from a week ago. Ranboo could remember exactly how he’d felt — his heart in his throat and his mind racing. He was finally going to see his friend.
Now, he wasn’t even sure if “friend” was the right term anymore.
He wasn’t upset about it. Hell, he was quite the opposite. It was just a lot to process.
He had known he liked guys for a while. He had even known he liked Tubbo specifically. But knowing that and actually being with Tubbo were different.
Though, there was also the chance Ranboo had fucked everything up.
It was probably just his anxiety saying that, but still, there was a chance Tubbo had meant everything platonically, right? Ranboo kissing him could have been a huge mistake.
He sent Tubbo a message.
Ranboo
hey i just got home
hope we’re still good after what i did. If I made you uncomfortable i’m sorry.
He bit his tongue and watched the circle beside Tubbo’s name, but it remained a steady gray.
With a huff, he clicked off his phone. This was something he could deal with in the morning.
Kissing Tubbo was a spur of the moment decision.
It was early morning. Ranboo was fumbling with his bag as Tubbo lay, still half asleep, in bed.
“All packed?” he mumbled, voice muffled by the blankets pulled over his face.
“I think so.” Ranboo pulled the zipper closed and tossed his bag near the door. He checked his phone.
“Okay,” he clapped his hands together. “ We, uh, gotta head to the airport soon.”
Tubbo just groaned. “Noooo I don’t want you to go.” He poked his head out from his wad of blankets, and his hair stuck up every which way.
Cute, was Ranboo’s first thought, but he pushed it down. He wasn’t sure what was happening between them anymore. Last night Tubbo fell asleep on his chest, and this morning he’d squirmed out from under him to pack up.
“Same here,” he said. He watched Tubbo peel himself out of bed and rub the sleep from his eyes. “But, y’know…”
“...Yeah.” Tubbo pursed his lips. Ranboo’s parents had only allowed a week meetup. A longer one later was a possibility, but they had to make the most of what they had for now.
They stared at each other. A silence hung between them.
Tubbo stood, stepping around the half-deflated air mattress on the floor — something that had been abandoned after the first night Ranboo was over. He’d woken up and found himself more or less on the floor. He’d suggested they try to find the hole, but Tubbo just said to share a bed.
Ranboo kept his reasons for being so flustered by that to himself.
“I don’t think I have time to get dressed,” Tubbo admitted. He was in an old T-shirt and pyjama pants. “I’ll think I’ll just go in this.”
“Fair enough.” On impulse, Ranboo pulled the shorter boy into a hug. It seemed appropriate. It was the last time they were gonna see each other alone in who knows how long, with Tubbo’s dad driving them to drop Ranboo off at the airport.
Tubbo fit perfectly into Ranboo’s arms. His head was pressed gently on his chest. He could probably hear Ranboo’s heartbeat, and Ranboo could rest his chin on top of Tubbo’s head. Earlier in the trip he’d dared to kiss his hair, to which Tubbo had laughed and held him tighter. He refrained this time though.
“I’ll miss you,” he said. Tubbo hummed.
“I should fucking hope so.” Sleep was still heavy in his voice. He pulled away from the hug, but, not wanting to break contact, grabbed both of Ranboo’s hands.
They stared at each other, smiling.
“I’m uh,” Ranboo didn’t know what he was saying. “Can I do one more thing before we go?”
“Sure?” Tubbo quirked his head.
“Okay.” Ranboo let go of one of Tubbo’s hands. He cupped the other’s face. His cheek was warm under his palm. “Okay.”
He kissed him.
It was an objectively awful kiss. Ranboo had to lean down to reach Tubbo’s mouth. He wasn’t sure how fast to lean in or when to close his eyes. He ended up pulling away a moment after their lips meant.
Tubbo just stared at him, eyes wide.
“Oh.” His voice was soft. He was blushing. Ranboo held his gaze.
Oh god. He detached himself from Tubbo, stepping back. He should have been more clear when he asked to kiss him. He might have just ruined everything. He could practically see Tubbo thinking as he stared at him, trying to figure out what to do.
Music started playing.
Literally, Tubbo’s alarm went off. Both teens just stared at his phone a second.
“We gotta go.” Tubbo turned it off, snapping them both back to reality. They could hear his dad moving about in the kitchen. “We can, uh, talk about this when you’re home?”
Ranboo nodded.
Tubbo
huh?
you didn’t make me uncomfy dw
vc?
Ranboo woke up to the notification.
Ranboo
sure. Just woke up so just give me a minute
Tubbo
okay just call me whenever
He dragged himself out of bed and to the bathroom. He splashed water in his face and locked eyes with his reflection.
He remembers the ride to the airport. It had been awkward to say the least.
Ranboo and Tubbo were quiet the whole time, just responding to Tubbo’s dad’s attempts at smalltalk.
In the airport they hugged again — just before they parted ways. Ranboo had imagined the end of their trip to me more dramatic. However, it almost felt formal, even as Tubbo burrowed his face in his chest.
It hasn’t necessarily felt too formal though. It could have been more of a “we are in front of my father” awkwardness than “you just kissed me and I do not like you like that” awkwardness.
Ranboo took a deep breath. He could do this.
“Hello?” Tubbo’s voice floated through Ranboo’s headphones. It sounded different than it did in person. It was just a little higher pitched.
“Hey,” he said. He leaned forward in his unicorn chair and tapped on his desk.
“You thought I was mad at you?” Tubbo asked, straight to the point,
“Not mad,” Ranboo said. “I was just worried I made you uncomfortable by, ah-“
“Kissing me?”
“Yeah.” Ranboo dragged a hand through his hair, prepared for the worst.
Then Tubbo started to laugh.
“What?” Ranboo’s face grew hot. “Tubbo what?”
“Sorry,” Tubbo giggled, “sorry it’s just that the reason I hadn’t already kissed you was because I thought it would make you uncomfortable.”
“Oh,” Ranboo froze. “I just thought… cause after I kissed you it was really awkward.”
“I was shocked,” Tubbo said. “I just kinda accepted it wasn’t gonna happen by that point, and after you kissed me, well, you looked really scared. I thought you instantly regretted it or something.”
“I mean,” Ranboo leaned back in his chair, “I kinda did, but only cause I thought i’d messed up.”
They were both quiet for a moment.
“So… what does this mean for us?” Ranboo asked.
“No fucking idea,” Tubbo admitted, “but now I wish we’d kissed before you were about to leave.”
Ranboo’s brain short circuited, but he coughed out a laugh. “Me too. Me too.”
“Awww,” Tubbo cooed. Ranboo couldn’t see him, but he was sure he was blushing.
“But,” Ranboo said, “in all seriousness I- if you wanted to like, try… dating or something I’d be down.”
“Oh? You’d be down to date me Ranboo.” Tubbo did his signature little quack-laugh.
“I would— I would be so down to date you man.”
“MAN,” Tubbo echoed. “Would you be down to go on a date my man? Would you be down to go to watch movies and cuddle like bros.”
“Yeah! yeah I would actually.” Ranboo covered his face with his hand.
“Maybe you’d even be down for a little kiss dude!”
“Oh I definitely would!” There was a huge smile across Ranboo’s face as the two boys giggled. They talked for a while, slowly falling back into their usual dynamic.
However, Ranboo kept wishing he could play with Tubbo’s hair like he had during their meetup
They had been sharing Tubbo’s bed for the first time when Tubbo threw an arm around Ranboo. He pulled himself close, hiding his face in the other teen’s shoulder.
“Oh, hello.” Ranboo instinctively brought his hand to Tubbo’s back. Tubbo mumbled something about Ranboo being a good pillow and then tentatively, Ranboo knit his fingers in Tubbo’s hair.
Tubbo hummed, and neither of them really spoke after that. The two boys just drifted off to sleep.
“You know what Ranboo,” Tubbo announced, during a lull in conversation, “I didn’t even know you liked guys before this.”
Ranboo nearly choked on his water. “Oh! Uh, surprise? I guess?”
“Fuck, I thought I’d been flirting with a straight man.”
“God.” Ranboo sighed. He’d known Tubbo was gay beforehand, as he’d mentioned it in private calls once or twice. “I guess I just don’t talk about it much — that I like guys. I don’t really know what label i’d use either. I just… yeah.”
“And that’s totally fine. I’m just pointing it out,” Ranboo could hear him fiddling with a click pen as he spoke.
“I also was worried you’d act different if you knew.”
“You mean that’d I'd stop flirting with you?”
“...Yeah,” Ranboo admitted. Tubbo did his little
duck laugh again.
“Oh! Also!” Tubbo jumped in, slamming his hand on his desk.
“Yeah?”
“You left your phone charger at my house! And a T-shirt.”
“Oops.” Ranboo frowned.
“You are very forgetful,” Tubbo stated, earning a chuckle.
“I— I mean that is my whole brand,”
“God not your brand,” Tubbo whined.
Ranboo grinned, then added “and I mean, I’m okay with you having my shirt.”
“Oh, oh okay!” Tubbo stuttered out, suddenly caught off guard. Ranboo could practically hear him blushing.
A few days later Tubbo sent a picture of himself in Ranboo’s shirt. He was practically drowning in the fabric, and Ranboo swore his heart melted when he saw it.
Ranboo
I’m actually really happy I left that with you
Tubbo
aww me too
Ranboo
yeah, it looks good on you :]
Ranboo watched as Tubbo started, stopped, and then continued typing. He brought his phone up to his mouth, a smile on his face.
He wished Tubbo was with him. He wished he could have spent that week with Tubbo actually in a relationship instead of awkwardly flirting and dancing around one.
But, there would be more trips in the future. One day Ranboo would kiss tubbo again, but he’d make sure to do a better job of it.
Tubbo’s message came through, and Ranboo grinned.
Tubbo
oh shut up