Chapter Text
“Are you really so enamored with such trivial amusements?” Xiao questions, an eyebrow raised so subtly that Aether would’ve missed it, if not for the recent days he’s spent in Xiao’s company. All of Xiao’s expressions were hard to miss, a simple glance would suggest there were no expressions at all.
Aether was a little better at how he responded to the yaksha now. He smiled softly, “What do you think?”
Of course not understanding the subtleties of their talk, Paimon was quick to interject. “Hey! This is a legitimate festival, not some trivial amusement!” She huffed, somehow bouncing mid float. Aether tried his best to not laugh. Xiao rolled his eyes, but considered something for a moment.
“Legitimate..” The deceptively young looking man replied. “Enough,” He sighed, perhaps quite tired of this incessant inquiry to join the festivities, “Go watch your lanterns.” Aether tried not to look disappointed. What had he expected? For Xiao to suddenly change his mind? No, the traveler had a burning ember of hope, that perhaps he would feel less lonely joined by another person he knew was lonely. He just had that feeling, though it wasn’t hard to tell. He’d not seen Xiao interact much other than with Aether and Ganyu.
Everyone gets lonely, right? Aether kept his eyes on Xiao. Unable to stop himself, he scanned the yaksha’s face once more, unsure if he’d see him soon enough after this departure. Xiao’s face was difficult for him to describe, it seemed so beautifully fragile, like art on stained glass. His eyelashes were long and dark, framing his somehow green toned amber eyes. Aether knew he had a staring problem when it came to him. His face was just so deceptively soft. And his hair, just as soft looking.
Xiao caught Aether’s gaze, but the staring seemed to never bother him. He was always cool and collected. “But stay vigilant. Keep your eyes open for any menace.” Aether nodded at Xiao’s words. Xiao almost reluctantly continued, “If you find yourself in trouble... speak my name.” Xiao closed his eyes decidedly, and crossed his arms.
Aether blinked in quick successions, somewhat surprised that Xiao offered this. After all, they’ve fought together, Xiao knew he was capable. Yet there was still this inexplicable protectiveness that seemed to stem out of nowhere, like the time Aether lost his footing during the battle in Liyue and in a flash, Xiao was there, carrying Aether in his arms and bringing him to safely. Just remembering how safe he felt in that moment made his cheeks warm. What a silly feeling.
Aether was unable to stop himself. “Sure you’d make it into the city in time to come to the rescue?” Aether asked, almost saying ‘my rescue’ but deciding against it, not liking how weak it would make him seem. Xiao’s eyes, by the tiniest percentage, seemed to soften.
“Anywhere. Anytime.” He didn’t look away from Aether.
*****
The lantern right was truly living up to expectations. The night sky was lit up by the many individual Xiao lanterns released, and the Mingxiao was about to be set off. But Aether’s heart was hammering in his chest, because he had an incredibly stupid idea. One that would probably ruin what little friendship they’d built up. He wasn’t sure if he’d even call it friendship. He’d call it useless and stubborn affections for a man who couldn’t care less.
He wished he could ask his sister for advice. That he could sit with her as she braided his hair, and ask her about things he couldn’t solve on his own. She was always the seemingly older one, even though she wasn’t. She always knew what to do, how to fix things that broke. She cut their hair, always refusing to cut Aether’s hair shorter because she loved how she could style his hair while keeping her own short. He missed his sister so much, it almost made his heart burst.
He shoved his feelings aside for now, and glanced off to the side where he could see Paimon feasting on some special lantern right food at the cart. She was happiest when eating, after all. Aether wondered how she still kept afloat with all that food in her belly. He sighed and swallowed, his adam’s apple bobbing nervously. He saw the mystical lantern prepare to be released, and said the words. “Xiao, I need your help.” He knew that he didn’t have to say it loudly, because the adeptus would hear him. In a flash, Xiao was beside him and grabbed his arm, Aether supposed it was out of annoyance. He was pulled to face Xiao, although not aggressively. Xiao could probably move mountains while still somehow doing it in smooth movements.
Aether was now facing Xiao. The yaksha’s eyes were slightly wide, both hands now gripping the travelers forearms. “Aether,” Xiao immediately came down a few levels as he scanned the surroundings in a matter of split seconds. Aether’s head was immediately filled with cotton after hearing Xiao say his name, perhaps for the first time ever. “There’s no trouble here. Why did you call?” Xiao didn’t sound angry, or maybe he did and Aether was just too high on the touch and his name softly spoken.
Aether felt brave. Probably unwise, but brave nonetheless. He pulled his arms so that his hands would slip into Xiao’s. The yaksha was startled, Aether could tell that much. He laced his fingers with Xiao’s, their hands still gloved but warm met unwavering coolness. Aether couldn’t help but let a small part of his repressed smile escape. “The trouble is that I don’t want to watch this without you. I know you probably don’t care, but humor me this once? And then I’ll leave you alone. I promise.” Aether’s voice was quiet, he was being incredibly careful as Xiao could disappear at any moment. But... he didn’t.
Xiao was at a loss for words. It had been a long time since he’d been rendered speechless. But something inside of him seemed to thaw, ever so slightly. The ice inside of him, protecting whatever conflict resided inside, seemed to melt the more he was around this personification of the sun. He knew he couldn’t do much, for if he did, he would likely end up hurting the boy beyond repair. But he did want to humor him this once. And so, he found himself nodding.
He couldn’t bring himself to let go of Aether’s hand for the rest of the night. And Aether knew not to push it further, but the longing did not dissipate, perhaps it never would. But later, as Paimon and Aether chatted and bantered, Xiao grew cold inside, he knew he couldn’t stop it. His karmic debts demanded that he could not be content for long. His heart clenched, and he let go. And he ran. He ran even though he does not run. This was not him.
And for the next week, his usual nightmares included a boy with a braid weaved with gold, sprawled on the floor, covered in blood. His only company can be the demons he conquers. He cannot tarnish the hopeful light in Teyvat.