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It felt wrong. Something about his bed felt wrong and when he opened his eyes he immediately knew what. Spencer and Morgan had been dating for a few months now, Morgan immediately fall for him the minute he walked into the office. It had taken him two months till he asked him out, after Hotch had chuckled about how Morgan had watched Spencer walking away and said "Just ask him out, I don't mind." And then he did and ever since then the scrawny boy had rambled his way into his heart even more which is why it is concerning that his bed is empty when he definitely fell asleep next to the genius.
He hears for a moment if he just went to the bathroom but no movement so he gets up and walks down the hallway towards the stair were he can hear Spencer's voice and when he walks around the corner he can see him sitting at the end of the staircase cross legged on the floor and Clooney half on his legs half on the floor while Spencer cuddles him and Morgan leans against the wall and just listens.
"Why are you even up? You sure deserve some sleep too. I am actually pretty sure you have a sleep pattern considering that you are the most energetic when we come home. You are sometimes a little bit to energetic, I don't like you jumping me, it scares me sometimes. But you can't do anything for it, Hotch calls it the Reid effect." This was just mindless rambling and Morgan wonders if he sometimes cuts him off to harshly. If he doesn't give him enough space to just get things out of his crowded mind.
"It happens with children too. Did you ever meet a child? I actually never hold one. I would really like to because people say it feels like something you can't describe." Morgan himself had held his sister's child and even them when they were born. There is hardly anything comparing to it, the gentleness that immediately come with it, the tiny eyes looking to you, it goes right into every bone and especially your heart.
"Do you think Derek will want to have children someday? I mean he has you but like real children. Like adopting one. I don't know if I ever feel ready to have children. I would want to teach them how to be loved and I would want them to be raised properly but I don't know how to do that. My dad didn't stay and my mom was really really kind she didn't mean to do the things she did." Quietly Morgan's steps back around the counter, he can still hear him but Spencer can't see him. "Did you know that nearly 700000 children are being abused in the US each year and that one third of the people that have been abused will turn out to be abusers themself?" Morgan could feel his heart skip a beat, he probably shouldn't listen to this. "I don't think I could ever hurt a child but I don't even know if I stay mentally healthy. Schizophrenia can be passed genetically. Do you think Morgan would stay if I get sick? I don't think he would leave like my dad did, but I think he wouldn't want to handle this. I hope he can bring you to visit me if that happens. I know he would visit. At least I like to think that. I think Gideon would too and maybe Hotch. Hotch is being really nice to me, I hope he won't be mad if he finds out that do Morgan's and Elle's paperwork. JJ did find out but she said it's okay." This kid's mind is something else.
"I actually had a crush on JJ when I first started working there- no don't look at me like that I don't have it anymore." Derek realizes how much he keeps falling for this man even if they are already dating. "I would never cheat on your dad. I hope he doesn't either but I would rather have that than him breaking up with me because I am not giving him what he wants." And then he almost whispers. "But I won't tell you what it is." This monologue is a rollercoaster ride and Morgan wonders if he should step in or not because it really seems like Spencer is just talking everything off his chest that comes to his mind and if that helps him he can stay here longer or if he really should listen to this. After all Spencer was expecting him to be asleep.
"I sometimes wonder why Morgan chose me because he could really be with all those pretty girls and guys. You should see that in the office. They are basically throwing themself at him but you go on walks with him I am sure you know that. And you go on walks with me. I know his walks are probably more fun than mine, I get cold very easily so especially in winter I hope you are not to mad that I don't walk really long with you. I feel really bad when Morgan keeps asking me to go running with him because when I agree he just keeps complaining over my physical abilities and if I don't he says that we should do stuff like this together. My chest always feels really tight when we do go running and hurts and I always feel like I will pass out but he is right it's my own fault. Although I don't like when he says that, I am not that weak. He yelled at me last week when we trained hand to hand because I kept messing up but it was just because he accidentally hit me pretty hard and I didn't want to tell him that, because I knew he would feel bad for it. He would never hit me on purpose. I am really lucky to have him. Even Hotch hit me ones, it was for a case but he could have said less hurtful things." Carefully Morgan walked one step closer to the step. "C'mon I give you a little bit of milk to your food, I know you love that and then I will have to go to bed." So Morgan turns around and walks back to their room, a little bit heartbroken but with the knowledge that he is gonna marry that man someday.