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The concern over time passing was beyond a thing of the past- most things were when you were dead. Still, even in the afterlife Tien and Yamcha would find themselves drowsy, every now and then opting to rest outside in the rather-small plains of King Kai’s planet.
Tien and Yamcha laid on the prickly grass, the former of the pair only now just rousing from his most recent rest. Instinctively, Tien casted Yamcha a glance, his partner seemingly still enjoying his slumber. Had tracking time been anything to worry about, the lack of moon or even a sun would have heightened that trouble- but even if there was no proper star or rock in the sky, there did exist a delicate glow and almost holy light in the surrounding area. Such light decorated Yamcha’s features, adding an almost iridescent appeal to his already-handsome face as attention to his long lashes became apparent, a shadow now casted onto his cheeks.
Being dead meant that there was no reason to panic or worry any more, but even with that in mind Tien felt whatever little troubles he had melt away as he watched Yamcha’s chest rise and fall with a gentle, peaceful rhythm, his lips only ever so parted just a tad. Sincerely, the scene was incomparably serene.
He hadn’t meant for his eyes to linger on Yamcha’s lips for so long, though upon realizing his staring Tien felt his cheeks kindle with a mortified flare, letting his gaze move to Yamcha’s eyes instead. Wherever he looked however didn’t matter- acknowledging that Yamcha was even with him still on King Kai’s planet in general had gnawed at him for weeks now.
Why? Why would he stay? There was Bulma and Puar and the rest of their friends waiting for him to come back, not to mention his rather successful baseball career- yet he threw them all away just to stay with Tien and Chiaotzu.
“‘Why’ what?” Befuddled, Tien blinked at Yamcha who lolled his head towards Tien’s direction as his eyes remained shut, dreariness still clinging to his consciousness. Apparently, Tien had muttered the question while he remained distracted- a careless mistake, really. Internally Tien debated with himself as to whether they should talk about the circumstances or not: he could simply brush the question off and insist he didn’t mean anything serious, or he could confront the issue head on and end the persistent itching that permeated his being since they became content on staying on King Kai’s.
Dancing with a plethora of words, Tien was incapable of producing any. Instead, the duo were left to sit in silence, Tien praying Yamcha would just fall back asleep.
But no, Tien should have expected more from him- he should have expected better. Yamcha was the only other person in his life besides Chiaotzu to be able to really understand him. Frankly, Tien wanted to be mad at him for seemingly invading and making himself comfortable in his life like that, but he would only be lying to the warm feeling in his chest.
His eyes blearily opening, Yamcha shifted from lying on his back to his side, looking up at Tien through half-opened eyes. “You know, I don’t regret staying here with you guys…” He paused, staring at the finely-cut grass beneath him before idly picking at it. “This was the right choice.”
Perhaps Chiaotzu keened Yamcha in on how to read minds, or maybe Tien was just that easy to read as a person- to Yamcha, anyway. Whatever it was, he was already privy as to what bothered Tien. Really, it was only fair he tried to explain himself at this point- or at the very least let Yamcha know how he felt.
“...But why?” Continuing his absent-minded question from before, Tien watched Yamcha pinch and pull at the ground, watching as a small pile of plucked grass accumulate next to his hand. “Why would you stay here? You had everything back on Earth- it doesn’t make sense you would…”
Tien’s concerns died on his tongue, unwilling to totally voice the consequences of Yamcha’s decision. Not only had Yamcha drastically affected his own life and relationships- but Tien found his own heart selfishly swell at the choice. It was perplexing and troubling, making Tien feel this blazing, bubbly feeling- it was nauseating to say the least, especially when he wasn’t able to put a name to exactly what he felt. In truth, perhaps that was what truly bothered him: it wasn’t that Yamcha seemed to act in his own mysterious self-interest or even pity when he chose to remain dead. It was the fact that action made Tien experience a deadly, suffocating heat in his stomach- a feeling he feared would never fade as it continued to persist throughout the months. Worst of all, he would never be able to escape it- not through life, nor through death, and he wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to let Yamcha know it ever existed without feeling shame for the rest of his afterlife.
Perking up at the question, Yamcha’s fingers stilled against the grass seemingly content with all of the blades he pulled. Nevertheless, he continued to stare at the growing bald spot on the ground, his fingers splayed out as they began to drum. For a moment, that was all he did: Yamcha continued to stare dazed at the dirt, the answer to Tien’s question seemingly lost to himself as well. At heart, he knew he didn’t regret remaining dead, even after having been reminded about everything he would be leaving behind. But the answer to the inquiry dwelled in his heart as well, too shy to reveal itself and come to the surface.
“...It felt right.”
It felt right? Being dead wasn’t something you usually felt right about. For some reason, the answer sparked a flame in Tien’s chest, cindering the soft, tender emotion he previously felt and leaving ash in its stead.
“What do you mean felt right?” The anger swelling within him was far from sincere- or at the very least he wasn’t angry about the premise itself. “There was so much for you waiting at home, what could have possibly made you want to cast that all away!?”
What frustrated him more than anything was how ambiguous the answer was- how while it was very barebones as to how Yamcha felt, it didn’t enlighten Tien on all of the important details. Important details being whether Yamcha also felt his chest become light and his heart race at the thought of spending the rest of his existence with Tien.
Letting Tien’s reaction settle in his mind, Yamcha pursed his lips as he mindlessly continued to examine the ground. But once he was finally content with his thoughts, he smiled before meeting Tien’s reddened face, watching as furrowed brows raised in embarrassed surprise.
“You could have given me the whole world, if you wanted to…” Yamcha let out a lighthearted chuckle before resuming. “...But what good would it all be if you weren’t there with me?”
Self-conscious about his answer, Yamcha rested his hand against his neck and gave himself an awkward massage, letting his eyes fall back onto the ground below. “I-I mean… you, uh… mean a whole lot... to me.” It was a herculean effort on his part to continue speaking, his words starting to tangle and tighten in his throat. But if any time was the time to finally voice his feelings, now seemed opportune.
It wasn’t a full-on confession, but it was enough for Tien to hear his blood drum in his ears. At once, that benign affection began to take over him once again, finding a new strength to speak his mind.
“What does that mean?” His query came gently, an absolute contrast to his vexed demeanor mere seconds beforehand. The longer the quiet between them carried on, the faster Tien felt his heart pound, his chest starting to ache in anticipation.
As Yamcha began to lose himself in his thoughts once more, his eyelids relaxed as he adopted a dreamlike expression, the corners of his eyes just barely crinkling. Finally certain of what he wanted to really say this time, Yamcha lifted his head and rested his chin on the palm of his hand, the smile on his lips just noticeable enough to give him an angelic look.
“It means I love you.” Even if Yamcha had that thought stewing in his mind for a considerably long time, actually speaking it into existence- to Tien, nonetheless, alleviated a tremendous weight he wasn’t entirely aware was there. His smile growing, Yamcha eased more against his palm. “I love you more than any life I could have ever had.”
Those three, simple words were everything Tien wanted to hear- it was the only thing he wanted to hear. It was unfortunate that they only surfaced after they died, but what did it matter? He only needed Chiaotzu and Yamcha anyways, and he was set in the perfect scenario where that was all he would have. If he wasn’t sure about exactly what King Kai’s planet constituted as a part of the afterlife beforehand, he was certain now that it was surely heaven.
Sometimes Yamcha would tease Tien for his superfluous vocabulary, and admittedly he could acknowledge at times his word choice was too extravagant or wordy for some situations. But at this moment, he was utterly silenced, even the most lame of words failing him. He was only able to stare at Yamcha with his mouth ajar.
The glow on Yamcha’s face began to fade, realizing that there was a chance Tien didn’t feel similarly about him. An uncomfortable chuckle rumbled in his chest as he looked at the rosy sky above, attempting to distract himself by finding figures in its lavender clouds. “Oh, uh- that’s uh… I mean if you don’t feel the same that’s cool. I just-”
Tien’s arms wrapped themselves around Yamcha’s neck, pulling him up from the ground and onto his lap. Yamcha was a strong guy and he certainly endured worse injuries, but even so Tien was careful not to squeeze him too hard, even if that’s all he wanted to do- to hold Yamcha as close to him as he could and pray that alone was able to translate his overflowing love adequately enough. Shifting and adjusting himself and Yamcha, Tien’s hand rested against the back of his head and at the base of his back, burying his nose in the crook of his neck as he evened his breathing. In all of his years of regretting a vile life and attempting to redeem himself, in this moment Tien was finally able to really feel at peace.
Initially caught off guard, Yamcha gradually began to correct himself into the new position, wiggling his legs out of Tien’s lap and instead wrapping them around his hips, fully melting into the hold and reciprocating the hug. Resting his cheek against his neck, Tien was able to feel Yamcha’s smile widen and his eyelashes brush against his skin as he shut them again.
“I guess you feel the same, then.” To say Tien felt the same was the understatement of the century, he was beginning to realize. The love he felt for Yamcha seemed to stretch back even beyond the past few months- years, even. When it began to flourish, he wasn’t sure. But it was hardly of importance now. All that mattered now was that Yamcha’s feelings were mutual and Tien could be dead with no regrets intoxicating his mind.